I love to bake. Well… I love to eat. I love to eat the things I bake. Does that mean I am good? Absolutely not. HOWEVER one thing I have made and I have made bloody right – is these NYC Style Easter Cookies. I’m not one to blow my own trumpet but they are SO GOOD. I shared a photo on our Instagram stories whilst baking them and the response was crazy so figured I would share the recipe.
Our first book club pick was the incredibly heart warming and romantic, This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens. Sophie has kindly agreed to answer some questions for us!
It is time to review our January/February book club pick, our first TMC read of 2021! This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens. How exciting!
We follow the story of Minnie & Quinn who are born at the same hospital, on the same day – New Year’s Day and (by chance) meet on their thirtieth birthday. We follow them over the span of one year and they discover that their paths have crossed many times before!
But now…my daughter (aged 4) and I love to bake together, we do it every week! And I never thought I’d be saying this, but I’m here to convince you it’s actually fab! I am also going to be sharing my baking with children tips!
1) It’s a time to bond and make memories! The reason I persevered through the baking angst is because I have such fond memories of baking when I was a child, and it’s so great knowing that I’m making these memories with her that will last. We always have a fun time when we bake together!
2) It’s a learning experience. Every time we bake I use the opportunity to test her ability to read simple recipes, measure ingredients and follow instructions. She’s not just having fun, but learning every time!
3) It stops becoming so messy! The older she gets, and the more we practice, she understands the cleaning process a bit more and there are less spills than we had at the beginning!
4) It allows your child to express some creativity! I used to cringe a bit when I felt like my daughter was “ruining” what we’d baked (I know that sounds horrible, I feel awful typing it, but the lack of control used to make me really uncomfortable) – but now, it’s so fun and liberating to see her chuck everything she can at a cake and see what happens! And if for example, we’re making cupcakes for an occasion that need to look neat, we bake a few extra and my daughter can do whatever she wants to the extras and we can be more careful with the rest.
So, now that I’ve hopefully convinced you that baking with little ones can be so fun and beneficial, I thought I’d give you our favourite go-to recipe for when it’s raining, when we’re bored, when we want to whip up something tasty to gift to someone, when we need something quick and reliable. It’s a sugar cookie recipe that we’ve been using forever and it’s fool proof!
When breastfeeding both my daughter, Lissia (now three) and my little boy, Jesse (now one) for a short amount of time, a feeling of dread would wash over me. As you can imagine, this was quite an unsettling feeling, but, as quickly as it occurred, the feeling would disappear.
It’s quite tricky to articulate but it was like a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach, which lasted for up to 30 seconds. It was a bit like the feeling you’d associate with homesickness – strange, I know!
Of course, this played on mind for quite some time. It was about three months before I was able to connect the dots. Before then I had begun to question if I was having a case of extended baby blues, but I was otherwise really happy, so it just didn’t add up. And then I realised that this odd, hollow feeling that I was experiencing was in fact only occurring during nursing, just before a let-down and would last for about a minute once the milk was flowing.
After I was able to pinpoint the feeling I took to Dr Google to see if I could find out if anyone else had experienced the same. Many searches online later – I didn’t have a clue of what to even search for initially – I found my answer. The culprit… D-MER.
The full name of this phenomenon is Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. Put simply it is a drop in dopamine levels in some mothers who nurse. It’s a physical symptom, not a psychological reaction i.e. it’s not linked to Postnatal Depression (PND) or any other mental health condition.
I found it really helpful to be able to put a name to it. As I continued to feed both my babies, I could remind myself why I was feeling the way I was and by the time I finished my internal monologue the dreaded feeling had ended and I felt myself again.
Despite all this I loved breastfeeding and breastfed Jesse up until he was 14 months (stopping late last year) – and it’s a good job because he was a full-on bottle refuser and still won’t contemplate cow’s milk now! The other reason I’ve always enjoyed breastfeeding could be because I’m also sensitive to the release of oxytocin – the love hormone – when nursing!
I felt a whole range of emotions when I found out I was pregnant, from happy and excited to nervous and quite frankly terrified. But one feeling that kept niggling away at me was the fear of becoming a new mum & losing my sense of identity. It took me over 30 years to become the woman I was and I wasn’t ready to give her up, I just had no idea how I was going to manage being a good mum and still be me.
Growing up I was often referred to as someone’s daughter or sister and I spent my twenties carving out a life that was mine. I fell in love with travel, different cultures and other peoples idea of normal fascinated me. I set myself challenges and completed the three peaks, night rides, half marathons and numerous 10ks. I was worried I wouldn’t have that any more and just be known as someone’s wife and mum, then felt guilty for thinking that for surely there’s no greater title as being someone’s mum?
Obviously with the world in lockdown, travel and challenges are out of the window, but I found myself putting pen to paper when Elena was born to try and clear my mind and make sense of the crazy year we’d just lived through. I’d always loved the idea of writing I enjoyed English at school and college and I’ll read any opportunity I get, I’d just always come up with excuses for not writing anything down myself. So I wrote a poem for Elena’s memory box when she was two months old, I then stumbled across a project on Instagram.
The author Emylia Hall was putting together an anthology called born in lockdown and wanted people to write in with their experiences. I’d missed the deadline but sent my poem in anyway and she said she wanted to include one of the stanzas in the pregnancy section, it was all of six lines but It felt so good that in the throes of becoming a new mum I was managing to do something for me.
I then set up an Instagram account to document my writing and motherhood and stumbled across this wonderful online community of mums and ones who enjoy writing. A message from That Mama Club inspired me to write this article and send it into them.
Writing helps clear my mind and gives me a focus and it’s my interpretation of ‘me time’. Leaving my husband to parent whilst I nip for a quick shower isn’t what I’d call me time, it’s a basic human need and I think as mothers we need more than that, well I do anyway. I guess what I’m trying to say is everyone has a spark or something they’re passionate about but self doubt or excuses get in the way. Even if it’s just ten minutes a day I try to dedicate that time to writing.
Obviously some days I find myself at 5pm, husbands home and I’m not quite sure what I’ve managed to achieve that day, but more often than not I find if I don’t put the TV on until a certain time of day or spend less time on Facebook it frees my time up to invest in me. It’s slow progress, I mean It’s taken me several days to put this together in what normally would only take an hour or so but that doesn’t matter. You can lose yourself in giving too much away but having a small amount of time dedicated to yourself can make a huge difference to how you feel, I genuinely feel like a better mum and wife for it too.
We hope you resonated with Ally’s post & her fears of becoming a new mum!
I’m Laura. I’m a 37 year old single mum, and I live in Brighton UK, with my 3 year old son Finn. I am founder of Plastic Free Baby, an online plastic free shop and eco blog. I am going to be sharing the impact of plastics on fertility, babies & children.
Rewind the clock a bit to a couple of years before I conceived Finn, when I was married to my then husband. There were many months and years of conception struggle before I finally became pregnant naturally with a much yearned for baby. I was so desperately sad when I lost the baby a few weeks into pregnancy; I then had several months of miscarrying. I conceived my next pregnancy more than a year later and happily I gave birth to a happy and healthy little baby boy, and called him Finn.
During this desperate and emotional time, I was trying to research things that could be having an impact on fertility, in order to maximise my chances of conceiving a baby, and to reduce the risk of miscarriage. I wasn’t looking for “just think positive”, “relax and it’ll happen” type self-help approach to fertility and conception; I wanted facts evidenced by research!
I came across a book that would change my life in this period, called “It Starts With An Egg” by Rebecca Fett. The book looks at how improving egg quality can significantly impact various aspects of fertility. It determines some of the key strategies for improving egg quality, and one of them, amongst others, was avoiding toxins in plastics that can harm developing eggs and embryos.
I was bowled over by the research in this book, pointing to the harmful toxins in common household plastics being a risk to human fertility, to developing embryos and foetuses, to babies, infants and children, and to all humans in general. It was mind blowing!
We all know the well-publicised environmental damage being caused by plastics in our oceans and the need for society to ‘choose to reuse’ single-use plastics for the sake of the health of Mother Earth; but the horrendous impacts that plastics can have on human development is something that is less talked about and less well-known. It really needs to be shouted about!
The main issue with plastics is that the toxins leached from them can be toxic, and these toxins can in some cases be endocrine imitators or interrupters; that is to say, chemicals that can disrupt our bodies endocrine system, the system that produces, stores and secretes hormones. Endocrine disruption by these toxins can lead in some cases to negative impacts on growth & development of foetuses / babies, weakened immune systems, reproductive issues, metabolism issues, and many more impacts besides. Pretty alarming stuff!
Just in the last couple of months a study revealed that for the first time microplastics have been found in the placentas of unborn babies. Quite a shocking revelation. “Due to the crucial role of placenta in supporting the foetus’s development and in acting as an interface with the external environment, the presence of potentially harmful plastic particles is a matter of great concern. Further studies need to be performed to assess if the presence of microplastics may trigger immune responses or may lead to the release of toxic contaminants, resulting in harm.”
I am not a scientist, but I am a concerned mummy who wants the very best and very healthiest of starts for her child (and any future children), so when I was trying to conceive I started cutting back on everyday plastics, and began finding out more and more about ‘hidden’ plastics and where to avoid plastics during the conception (‘pre’ prenatal) phase, and into prenatal stage and beyond.
When I was pregnant with my son I began searching around the internet for plastic-free baby products, as natural alternatives to plastic baby goods, so that my baby could be introduced to a plastic-free environment from the get go. I found this so incredibly hard! There was no one place that I could source plastic free baby goods, and items were really hard to research and source. In many cases, the products just didn’t exist. We are so used plastic being the ‘king’ of materials (it doesn’t break, it lasts forever, it’s super cheap to produce, it’s lightweight, etc, etc) that most common baby and child goods are made entirely of plastic, or at least contain plastic parts at the very least.
So this is when Plastic Free Baby was born!
Plastic Free Baby is my plastic free shop and eco blog which I started to help other parents like me, who hope to avoid plastics for themselves and their children. I hope that is is a helpful resource to other eco-minded mums and parents, either those hoping to conceive, or those who are pregnant, those that have newborn babies, or children. In time I hope that this and other similar shops and blogs will put pressure on the industry to develop innovative new non-plastic products for babies. My intention isn’t to worry or scare parents (who, let’s face it, already have their hands pretty well full!!), it is to provide alternatives and information.
For those trying to conceive, or parents wishing to make green eco-friendly swaps and choices, the shop offers a range of ‘plastic free swaps’ or eco friendly alternatives to everyday plastics, such as plastic free bottles, plastic free thermos, bamboo travel cutlery, reusable vegan wax wraps, plastic free natural cosmetics…
For pregnancy and post-natal mums, the shop offers reusable breast pads, natural organic cosmetic range in plastic free packaging, bump & baby creams and soaps…
For babies & infants, the shop offers a range of plastic free baby products, such as plastic-free natural rubber teethers, bibs, weaning bibs, sustainably sourced reusable cloths, beautiful handmade nursery furniture, organic cotton rattles, toys…
For children, the shop offers a lovely selection of eco-themed books, toys, wearables, and games
I also have a lovely Plastic Free Gift Set range, including Mum to Be, New Mums, gender neutral plastic free gift set for she / he / they, weaning gift set, first meals gift set, eco friendly potty training gift set, and many more… as well as other seasonal gift sets for things like Valentine’s Day, Easter and Christmas.
I write an eco blog on Plastic Free Baby, which gives parents some handy hints and tips about going plastic free with a baby or child. Here are my top 3 bits of advice if you are planning to take steps to reduce your plastic usage for the health of your family and your baby:
1) Little and often – make SMALL changes regularly and consistently; rather than making a huge change that’ll be hard to stick to, make little changes incrementally and do them consistently. This will be where you make the greatest change.
2) My Eight ‘R’s – Reuse / Recycle / Repair / Rehydrate mindfully / Reduce / Repeat / Reiterate / and…. RELAX! Read more about my 8 ‘R’s’ on my blog.
3) Be aware of how toxic plastic is and why you need to avoid it for your health and the health of your family. Read more about this on my ‘5 ways to go plastic free for your family’s health’ blog post.
I really hope that this blog post has been helpful to you, and wish you so much luck with whatever stage of the journey you are at. These are just all SMALL CHANGES over a LONG period of time. I really do believe this is the best way to make a difference. Don’t go with fads that don’t last, make a commitment to life changes that will go the distance. I’m no eco mum superhero, I’m just doing my small bit for my child and for the world as best I can.
I’d love to hear from you…
Were you aware of the impact of plastics on fertility, babies & children?
Are you aware of how to limit our plastic consumption and household plastic overload, to reduce our exposure to harmful plastics?….
What plastic free swaps are you making in your home for the health of your family?…
With thanks,
Laura
Founder, Plastic Free Baby
Chloe is here to share her top tips on on health, wellbeing and the power of setting goals!
More than ever, the importance of looking after our well-being and supporting each other is crucial. The pandemic has eroded many of the things that protect our mental health, including family support, social connections, and financial security. In particular, this lockdown is proving to be extra challenging due to the added pressure of home-schooling, cold weather, and shorter days. As we are no longer strangers to lockdown protocol, many people have coping tactics in place, but this hasn’t come easy for some. In times like this, it is essential to have kindness and compassion – not only to others but to yourself.
The low days
It is normal to feel low at some stage in our lives. Feeling sad, disheartened, frustrated, or worried are emotions we have all experienced, but this low mood often passes after a few days. It’s important to let yourselves feel these emotions but be careful not to stay in this place for too long. Today’s mood does not belong to tomorrow – tomorrow is always a fresh start.
I experience feelings of sorrow from time to time because it is part of being human. As much as we would all hope, it just isn’t feasible to live in a state of blissful happiness all day, every day. So, surrender to the low days, reflect on your feelings and let your mind refresh through sleep. This may sound easier said than done, and the current lockdown restrictions have been a real test of character for all of us, but with a bit of self-care, those bleak feelings can and will be overcome.
A healthy body and mind
What I have come to learn is that good health is about the mind and the body. Feeling good about ourselves and having adequate fitness levels will help us achieve more of the things we want to do in life. Unfortunately, even with my best efforts, stress always seems to lurk around the corner, making it difficult to avoid. It is important to seek new and innovative ways to escape this feeling.
More often than not, we feel isolated to deal with our problems when our connections are out of reach. Inspirational quotes and motivational writers are great at lifting spirits. After all, words have a powerful influence on our emotions. They can be used constructively with words of wisdom or destructively with words of despair. When the going gets tough, words have the energy to help, support, and heal us. A fantastic account that provides me with a burst of wisdom and focuses my mind is Kimberley Jane. Her posts offer me encouragement and motivate me to focus on my passions and ambitions.
She also provides a range of natural self-care remedies and products to keep you feeling uplifted and in a strong state of mind – she is well worth a follow! Another favourite of mine is the Scummy Mummies Podcast. With guest hosts, they discuss the reality of parenthood with a comedic touch. They always boost my morale and help me see the funny side of life. Boos are also a great way to understand certain emotions and can help you see clarity. A few I would recommend are: The Power of Positive Thinking, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and Reasons to Stay Alive.
Positive habits
Having a healthy body and mind involves creating positive habits. These include sleeping well, being active, eating well, having healthy relationships, and feeling comfortable in our skin. Another way to focus on our mental health is by setting goals. We often lose motivation and willpower in stressful moments, making it harder to plan or be excited about activities. However, it is through these difficult times that planning and structure are most important.
Setting goals is a tool that helps us focus on the critical aspects of our lives. I think it is safe to say that everyone realises the importance of goal setting but adapting them as we move through life is overlooked. I often have to work towards deadlines and goals in my work life, but I’ve never truly set myself a goal that is special to me. I decided that to improve my health and well-being, it was time to focus my attention on setting and achieving my lifelong goals. I needed something that focused my mind and inspired me to get the best out of my life.
Setting goals
Deciding on an appropriate and specific goal is a difficult task in itself. How many times have you set yourself a new year’s resolution and then actually achieved it? The truth is, some goals are achieved while others are not. This is because they seem so out of our reach, and the prospect of actually achieving them seems impossible. We tend to value things we have in the present far more than we value things we are aspiring for in the future.
More often than not, people set goals that are too vague, frame them with negative language, and rarely reflect people’s genuine aspirations. It is time to take an approach rooted in reality and constructed for you and your passions. Even if we don’t realise it, we all have a plan for our life; we dream about where we would like to be and imagine our futures. Without goals, we are just aimlessly stumbling through life.
Achieving your goals
Now the hard part – not just finding the power in setting goals but actually achieving these goals. Long-term goals may take years to complete and may seem like a distant dream in the present moment. However, by breaking this down into a series of smaller short-term goals, you will find yourself more focused and motivated. It may feel overwhelming at first, but once you’ve set out a structured and manageable plan, your long-term goal will become more transparent and plainer insight.
Seeing progress may take time, but growth will emerge as you journey through and cross off those smaller short-term goals. Like me, you may prefer writing everything down and crossing it off as you achieve them. To accomplish this, it may help to organise your goals into a monthly schedule and then break these down further into daily tasks. At first, it may seem daunting and difficult to achieve something every day, but in no time at all, this will become a habit, and you will learn how to manage and maximise your time efficiently. I have created a workbook for those needing a little inspiration on getting started; you can download it for free here.
Setting new goals helps trigger new positive behaviours, enables you to measure your progress, and sustains that momentum in life. The road to achieving your goals is never straight, and there will always be detours and bumps along the way – embrace these as they are all part of the journey.
We hope you enjoyed Chloe’s tips on wellbeing, health & the power of setting goals! Do you believe their is power in setting goals?
STORY SCRIBINGHello! I’m Vicki, founder of Primary Steps, an online consultancy for parents of 3-7 year olds. I am really excited to share with you a little bit about Story Scribing; a technique used in many Early Years and Infant settings, and a very easy thing for you to try at home.
What and Why?
Put simply, story scribing is recording your child’s stories for them. It is a really valuable opportunity to support children’s understanding of themselves as authors and to value the creativity and composition of writing – because writing is not just about being able to physically transcribe words. Story scribing is not an alternative to encouraging young children to make marks and write; rather it is a technique to use in addition to or alongside their mark making opportunities. With the pressure of the handwriting, phonics and grammar taken away, children are able to focus on just simply the telling of the story. They are able to become an author rather than needing to be a “writer”.
How?
To begin with, I recommend modelling scribing your own stories. Have a special family story book and either tell your story aloud and write it down yourself or tell it to another family member to scribe for you. In order to model good writing habits it is important to say aloud each sentence before it is written down, record it and then regularly re-read what you have written to check it makes sense.
Find times within the week to share your stories as a family and to give the stories an audience. If you have enough family members you may also like to act them out! Once your child has observed you composing your own stories and either scribing them or
having them scribed, you can offer them the opportunity to join in. Be patient as for some children it may take them a while to feel confident in sharing their thoughts and ideas. This should be a relaxed, unpressured opportunity for your child to share their story rather than a planned and timetabled activity I recommend that you sit next to your child so they can see you recording their words.
It is important that you write exactly what they say, even if it is not grammatically correct, to show you value their words. To begin with, their stories may consist of only one sentence, i.e. ‘I played in the snow’ or even several single words. This is very common and you will see their ideas develop with time, experience and increased confidence.
Some children may like to help with the writing; that is great and welcome their enthusiasm but don’t worry if this is not the case – remember the main purpose is composition not transcription. My final tip for story scribing with your child is to make it fun! Children love silly stories;
they love stories which include family members and friends – best of all they love stories which include family members and friends doing silly things!
This is a chance for your child to experiment and explore the use of words and sentence structure and it has the potential to really help them fall in love with storytelling!
We have asked Melissa to share her top tips on running a small business whilst also being a parent to her (almost) one year old River.
I absolutely hate having time off- which is both a great thing and a terrible thing when you’re a self employed person. Life can be chaotic and unpredictable, and it can also be quiet and slow.
Both myself and my partner are self-employed, and have been throughout our entire careers- he’s a singer turned cruise director, and I’m a performer, performing arts teacher, and examiner (amongst other things- I told you it’s chaotic). So as you can imagine, covid has absolutely FUCKED us. All our relevant industries have been decimated, and the performance and cruising industries have been left out to dry with little to no support, and no plan in place to return any time soon. We get our hopes up, just to have them dashed again by new variants, restrictions, and lockdowns. Le sigh.
Enter River, my son, 6 days before lockdown 1.0 (his timing is impeccable), and we were quietly nervy to say the least. But Robert was due to return to the ship in May, and I’d be on maternity until October anyway, and *surely* this will all blow over by then? Hindsight is a wonderful thing. So as it goes, we’ve not had even a sniff of work in over A YEAR, and we now have a dependent. Talk about all your chickens coming home to roost. So, I did what I do best. I rolled up my sleeves, made a plan, and I got the fuck to work.
And thus, my second baby was born. I created a small range of clothes for babies, kids, and their parents to twin! A gender neutral, simple and classic set of designs, easy to style, and comfortable to wear. Up until this point, I had struggled to find clothes that *truly* hit all of those essential points for me- so I did it myself. I used the following I had gained in starting my blog, and started a tiny little shop- F*ck! I’m a Parent: The Store. After a few months and a rebrand, I’ve settled on River & Six.
Now running a business is much like running a family. There are schedules to stick to, people to please, and caring so damn much about the product that you wonder how you’ll ever have space in your brain for anything again. It’s late nights and early starts, mess and stress, and exhilarating, anxiety inducing, and personal. Your heart bursts when orders come in, and sinks when they don’t. Every bit of your spare time becomes consumed with thoughts and decisions, like new products, which form of marketing you’ll try, how much money you need, and how you can crack a new market. But really (even though you know you are), you’ll keep wondering if you’re good enough. And running a business *alongside* a family- phew! The hours in the day just seem to evaporate, don’t they? You can’t take annual leave when you’re the only employee, you can’t take a sick day when the work you’re creating is feeding your family. You’re going to feel guilty about spending too much time with one and not enough with the other.
I’m by no means an expert, but this is a small list of things that have helped me keep my head above water…
Outsource where you can
This is a big one. Just because you can do it yourself, doesn’t mean you have to. If you can afford to, get someone on board to take on one of your jobs, be that production, design, accounting, or even sending a few Insta stories here there and everywhere. I utilise a local business where I live to help with production (another boy mama as well, girls supporting girls), and that allows me time to focus on designing, website management, and social media.
Ask for help
Get your followers sharing, liking, commenting, saving your posts! It doesn’t cost them anything, and it can really help with your marketing. Instagram especially is incredibly fickle with its ever changing algorithm, and it drives small business owners up the wall- but engagement from fans and customers provides a real boost. Also, practical help as well- I’m forever sending Robert out to the post office, or to grab me more labels. Burning out doesn’t make us Superwoman- asking for help can be the difference between a good day and a bad day, for both your business and your family.
Multitask like a boss
Instead of making a specific trip to the post office, hold off until it can tie in with a nap. Rather than spending 40 minutes in the kitchen doing dinner, dump a load of stuff in a slow cooker that morning, and use the time to play with your kid, or reply to emails. Use the shit out of your playpen or jumperoo, and don’t feel bad about sticking Little Baby Bum on while you get something done. (see attached photo of River stuck in his pen while I answer emails!) Work out where you can streamline anything that takes up time, and give it a go! I also try to get ahead of myself, lining up posts a few days ahead that can be fired out without too much thought.
Don’t feel bad
Everyone is different. Don’t look at another business and wonder how they’re managing so well, when you feel stretched so thin. And certainly don’t take any idiotic posts from MLM ‘business owners’ remarking that we ‘all have the same hours in a day, how we choose to use them determines our success’. Bollocks to that (but that’s a discussion for another time). I know even day to day that my circumstances change, so just take each one as it comes, and don’t expect too much of anything. And as soon as social media starts to get in your head, put your phone away for a little while.
Prioritise
Sometimes, something is going to have to take a backseat. When I relaunched the shop under the new name and design, I also released a new collection along with it. This took up a lot of my time and required a lot of concentration, so much like if my job took me out to an office, Robert jumped on parenting duties so I could crack on. And when River was teething and clingy, the shop just simply had to wait. My personal account has fallen into the realm of micro-influencer, so I’m working double on getting likes and engagement now, and sometimes a product review or promotion has a time frame. It can feel like I’m juggling a lot, but compartmentalising and prioritising (even though as a type B person I’m quite shit at both) has just about kept me afloat.
Know when to say no
Sometimes, it can just simply wait. Don’t feel obliged to reply to a customer at 9pm, just because the baby is asleep and you’ve got the time. Allow yourself to rest, and set boundaries for yourself- this is your world and it’s your rules. If you don’t take care of yourself, the rest can’t fall into place.
The balancing act is Cirque du Soleil level, especially when it feels like there is so much at stake. But I would encourage anyone with an idea they believe in to give it a good go. It can be thrilling and incredibly rewarding, whether it’s a hobby turned tiny crafting empire, or a service that you offer.
Are you currently running a small business?
Hello; I’m Jessica. I have never done anything like this before so feel quite exposed but i want to raise awareness for “special needs children” I have 3 children, Summer is 12, Bailey is 9 & Frankie is 8. I absolutely love being a mum and they give me so much joy. They all have their own amazing personalities and make me smile every day.
In my 28 years of having a vagina I have heard a LOT of myths surrounding it and as a teenager I believed every single one. It’s no secret that women don’t discuss their vagina’s anywhere near as much as men talk about their penis’ – however it’s not through lack of interest. We just don’t feel the need to strike up a conversation about it every chance we get. With that being said, the less we talk about something, the more wide spread & bizarre the myths and rumours get. So we are here, busting vagina myths!
Funnily enough, no. As much as people like to think vagina’s are ready at the flick of a finger, NO! I think as a younger person you associate “vaginal dryness” with older women, but it is actually incredibly normal! Things such as breastfeeding, certain medications and going through menopause can impact your self lubrication. Foreplay is incredibly important for women, not just because it can feel good.. DUH, but to make sure we are prepped and ready for sex. Also, lube exists for a reason.
The “logic” behind this is that the more you do it, the more your body gets used to it, so stops responding – especially when using vibrating toys. There is also the myth that other things won’t feel as good because your body grows accustom to your toy. Which is all completely false. There is absolutely no evidence to back any of this up and has someone who has used vibrating toys for… 10 years.. i’m all good thank you.
The vaginal muscles are incredibly stretchy and whilst obviously the vagina does expand when aroused or to give birth – it shrinks back to its normal size! So having lots of sex or a baby does NOT affect vaginal “tightness”.
Did you know only 30% of women can come from penetrative sex alone? I am gonna tell you right now that I am NOT one of those women. There’s a reason the clitoris is the only body part that’s use is SOLELY for pleasure. Penetrative sex is not the be all and end all of orgasms. Every vagina is different and everyone’s body reacts differently – explore and discover what you like!
WRONG. It is totally normal and HEALTHY to have vaginal discharge. Discharge is actually the vagina’s way of self cleaning (PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VAGINA ALONE WHEN IT COMES TO CLEANING!), it is full of healthy bacteria and protects against infections. Obviously you know your body (and what comes out of it), so if you experience any itchiness, a change in smell, more discharge than normal then get a self-test or go to the doctor.
I can’t even… no. NO NO NO. Despite its size, shape or length… your labia is NORMAL.
Sure, the hymen (which is a band of tissue in the back part of your vagina) can tear and bleed during your first sexual intercourse experience but it can also break by using a tampon, horse riding, or dancing! It is not always a first time sex thing.
There you have it! We hope you found this post useful – us busting vagina myths! What is a myth you believed growing up about your vagina or sex?
Hi it’s Sioned! Let me introduce myself a little before I start. I’m a first time mummy to a little lady who’s 2 and a half going on 12!
I’m Welsh, my husband is Italian and my daughter was born in Scotland, what a beautiful mix right? I am going to be sharing my top skincare tip with you all, that will get your day off to the best start.
I don’t think i’m alone in admitting that I have been feeling really overwhelmed recently. I have definitely found this lockdown the hardest & most isolating. I think the crappy weather is the main cause of that but also trying to juggle two young children, housework, running TMC & being a good partner, it can be a LOT. There are a couple things I have been doing whenever I feel overwhelmed or unmotivated & they have definitely helped! So we thought we would share ways to handle feeling overwhelmed, and hopefully they’ll help you too.
It is totally normal, especially at the minute, to feel overwhelmed. Whether you are trying to juggle working from home whilst home schooling children or just generally keep your head above water! Acknowledging and accepting feeling overwhelmed is a form of self acceptance. From here, you will be able to understand it and begin managing it.
Whether it is family & friends, or in your online space. Surrounding yourself with positive & supportive people is SO important! I am incredibly lucky to have such a supportive partner and immediate family. I am also lucky enough to work with the best people behind the scenes on TMC, we are always there with a supportive meme or to simply ask “how can I help you?” when someone is struggling.
When you feel that surge of overwhelm rising; stop, take a minute & breathe. Go for a walk, read a chapter of your book… whatever it is that distracts and makes you happy. Taking some time to yourself can really help you gain perspective on your life.
Whether it is watching an episode of your favourite tv show, listening to a podcast, taking a bath, ringing a family member.. doing at least one thing a day that makes you happy can be the perfect distraction.
I know it is easy to forget but we are already absolutely SMASHING life just by getting through the day. I think it is so important that we all celebrate every single win, no matter how small and really acknowledge & appreciate everything you have achieved.
Acknowledge exactly what you are in control of; the housework, sure. That is all down to you & your household (unless you have a cleaner – lucky bugger LOL), but if you’re feeling overwhelmed watching live news updates every day – REMOVE IT FROM YOUR LIFE. That’s not to say to remove it completely but maybe start to only tune in once a week. Don’t actively go searching on social media for false news & rumours. Especially at the minute when everything is a waiting game. It is crucial to know EXACTLY what you have control over.
We really hope you enjoyed our post on ways to handle feeling overwhelmed. Do you have any tips?
BY CAROLA (GUEST WRITER)
How long has it been since you’ve seen your parents, your in-laws or spent some quality time with your extended family? Conversations with my friends usually circle back to the usual topics at this moment in time – home schooling and working from home but also how our families are doing. Most of my friends still see their parents or in-laws regularly, having either formed a bubble with them to help out with childcare or running errands for them, scheduling socially-distanced visits on a weekly basis.
As an expat living in the UK, not seeing my family and my mother is something of a norm for me. In a normal year, I probably see them once, or twice when we visit during the school holidays, and we phone each other regularly or use modern technology to overcome the obstacles of hundreds of miles between us. Family to me are my people – they are the silent but steady force behind me, a stronghold that lets me get on with life, but is quietly in the background, always ready to talk, to laugh, to cry, to share and give advice. I am fully aware that not everyone has a good relationship with their family and I am very lucky with mine. It doesn’t mean we always see eye to eye, but they are unconditionally supportive of me and my little family unit. And that is utterly priceless.
Whilst my wonderful bond with my family is a shining beacon of light in my world, it also means that I miss them terribly and especially since becoming a mother myself, I often feel pangs of homesickness and a longing to have them close by, that is the reality of expat life. I can’t ring my mum and ask her to give me a hand with the kids when I am feeling totally overwhelmed. I am unable to take advantage of brothers, cousins, aunts and, worst of all, I feel unable to voice those feelings of loneliness to people around me.
“Surely, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you moved to a different country!”, “Just face-time them!”, “The flight’s not that long!”, “Just move back!”
Those are just some of the comments I’ve heard since beginning my expat life and, although some of them mean well, they aren’t the solution to occasional desperate longings for my family support. Before Covid, when my mother visited and stayed for weeks, I indulged in blissful moments of watching her with her grandchildren, but also enjoyed a few more moments to myself, knowing my kids were looked after and safe whilst I took an extra five minutes in the shower, cooked without having to play referee in yet another sibling argument or, the biggest luxury of all, went for a quick walk around the block with my partner. Just the two of us. I don’t want someone to have my children for weekends or weeks so I can disappear. It’s those small moments of support in everyday life I crave and need.
I speak to one of my friends who is Brazilian and had to cancel her flights home last Christmas. Her Fernweh* is on par with mine, albeit the journey she faces home is in itself a bit of an odyssey. Like me, she terribly misses her family and Covid has made her life a misery in more than one way. A constant sunseeker and serial globe trotter, my friend, a single mum of one, lives for travel and yearns for the help of her parents with her son. “My parents miss us and I miss them. Having help with a young child from parents is invaluable and I don’t have that here. Now I can’t even go back home to spend a few weeks with them.”
Another friend of mine, mother of two under 5s, had to cancel journeys abroad to see her family numerous times, too.
“I have resigned to the fact that we’ll just be communicating through facetime for now. Who knows when the borders open again, and when it is safe to travel. I am grateful everyone is safe and well, but it doesn’t make it easier. I miss seeing my family, I miss being back home, I am so upset my parents are missing out on seeing their grandchildren even more so now than ever before.”
Expat mums don’t need sympathy or pity – we know we made a choice and know to live our lives in gratitude for modern technology, the invention of aeroplanes and the gift of travelling and living wherever we want to. However, especially in times like this, the fact of not having our immediate families around is amplified and we are desperately waiting for the times we can see our loved ones again and hold them, watch our children spend time with their grandparents and hang out with our siblings and their brood.
We’re made of strong stuff, and we adore the friends that have become our family wherever we are. Don’t hold it against us that sometimes, we just need and want our own tribe and experience a bit of Heimweh**.
* Fernweh – German untranslatable expression for a longing to travel and to be somewhere else
**Heimweh – German for homesickness
We hope you enjoyed Carola’s guest post on expat life!
Carola is a writer, content and copywriter and published author. When she isn’t posing in high heels and leopard print for Instagram, she is writing poems, short stories and articles. You can find her on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter @chameleoninhighheels , or on her blog page www.chameleoninhighheels.com
Millie’s Birth ended up being a very positive one for me. I wanted a home birth in a pool but ended up doing 12 hours labour at home with no pain relief and then an ambulance trip to the hospital, because I was pushing but she wasn’t moving. We were told in hospital she was back to back and the doctor manually turned her before an episiotomy to get her out. I felt So proud of myself and felt cared for in the hospital, which we decided to stay in overnight for some breastfeeding help and reassurance as new parents. In the time after leaving the hospital it really caught up on me what my body had been through. This was inevitably the fourth trimester.
The pain of the episiotomy was uncomfortable and if that wasn’t enough, the post labour bleeding made my pelvic floor feel heavier and swollen too.
Getting about was hard , a few days after birth we wanted to go for a walk in the fresh air and it took what would usually take 10 minutes to the garden centre and back, a good 40 minutes!
I was loving the new born bubble I was in, dark nights were drawing in and it was getting colder out, so having a baby in October meant we could hibernate and really get to know our new daughter.
But everyday was hard for me, emotions were high with lack of sleep, my milk coming in added extra pain and I was already struggling with breastfeeding.
More than anything I was having to deal with the after effects of the episiotomy, It meant I couldn’t just get up to pick up my baby from her Moses basket, I couldn’t sleep next to her in bed and so she’d be passed over to me and then I would pass her back for a nappy change.
Almost every day we had visitors, I would get myself downstairs ( which also was a slow journey) and then I’d put a pillow under one of my legs so that I could sit as reasonably comfortable as possible.
A week post birth and the pain wasn’t subsiding, so I told my midwife and she agreed that the stitches were taking along time to heal and so it may be worth getting seeing an out of hours doctor to get some antibiotics.
Not only this but Millie’s belly button had also become infected so she would also need to go to the doctor as soon as possible.
The week after, things were starting to get a little easier – I was still in pain down below but was sure to be following the midwives tips, which were, not to use soap when showering, not to soak in a bath, lay on a towel to dry after a shower and to give the stitches some air, don’t go for long walks which increases the blood flow to your pelvic floor, freeze maternity pads and change them more regularly.
My emotional outbursts were starting to subside, I had in the first week, moments where I felt useless and that although my partner Pete was helping in every way possible, I resented him for being able to lift Millie and hold her so easily and often , I felt I was missing out on bonding and all I was being used for was feeding.
I think it hit hard when one day, a different midwife hurried into the house for a quick visit, she was all out of sorts telling us she was in a rush and as soon as she had looked at Millie, she simply said “ Did anyone tell you she had tongue tie?’ Which proceeded with a weigh in and telling us she’d also lost too much weight!
I felt sick – Pete and I looked at each other in shock, I knew we were thinking the same thing “ who the hell is this woman!” She then said She was going to call the hospital and we needed to go right away , next thing she was on her way out of the living room but not without asking if I was eating well and telling me I looked a bit pale !
I literately held back all my tears until she walked out the door and then just broke down whilst I held Millie in my arms.
I’d failed her, I wasn’t producing enough milk and I hadn’t even realised how much weight she’d lost.
After an overnight hospital visit and the doctors confirming she did not have tongue tie ( phew!), we decided to breast and formula feed to help get her weight up and decided I would try and pump in order to see how much I could produce .
Now let me tell you this, Pumping was not something I took to lightly.
The following night as I sat in front of the tele trying to pump for half hour and barely anything coming out, I literately sobbed at the thought of being this thing who’s only job was to produce milk in order to make my tiny human happy , yet it made me feel quite the opposite – I turned to Pete and cried “ I can’t do this , I feel like a cow!”
The next day I had made the decision to stop breastfeeding and go onto formula and I felt so much happier and knew that I also had a happy baby who was being fed too.
The realisation after all of this was that I’d been told about most aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and raising a baby but not one person had told me of just how hard that ‘fourth trimester’ really can be.
I now try my best to check on new mum friends and see how they are feeling after giving birth as it really can feel lonely, tough, emotional and painful even though it’s equally the most amazing experience I have ever endured – and of course, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!
You can read all about the fourth trimester on the NCT website (link), did you experience the fourth trimester?
INSTAGRAM: MUMMY & MILLIE
Everything’s a bit rubbish at the moment isn’t it? I can’t wait until I can get back to work with my camera again, capturing glorious everyday family life in my clients’ homes. I know I’m not the only mum trying to juggle home schooling with running a business or working from home too!
Having said that, these are as they say ‘unprecedented times’ .. that I guess we might want to remember in years to come! If you fancy a change from making banana bread why not grab your camera (or phone) and document this weird old time – if nothing else, the photos will be pretty interesting for your kids to look back on when they’re older.
To get you started, here are five top tips for taking photos of your children.
1). Get down low
My number one tip for instantly improving your photographs of younger kids is to get down on their level. Rather than shooting down on them from above, crouch down so you’re at an equal height and snap away. The same applies for babies too (yep, that often means lying down on your tummy!).
2). Don’t say “cheese”..
Ask a child around age 3 and up to “say cheese” and they’ll likely produce an especially fake and well.. “cheesy” grin reserved especially for when they’re asked to smile on cue! Aim for natural smiles and laughs – try capturing them running towards you for a hug, being tickled, or enjoying an ice-cream.
I also love capturing a child’s serious side. Here’s a particularly sulky pic of my daughter Olivia. I love this photo of her!
3). Shoot them just as they are
Forget the hassle of sprucing your kids up for family photos and capture them wild, free and even a little bit scruffy! It’s lovely to embrace the ‘realness’ of your family, just as you are. One of my favourite pics of my daughter is of her sporting her ‘post-beach’ look. Tangled hair, sand stained knickers and bare legs complete with grubby knees. Love.
4). When shooting indoors, use natural light where possible.
The flashes on mobile phones (and even the pop-up ones on expensive cameras) produce light so unflattering you’re honestly better off without them!
Indoors, try capturing photos near a large window whilst it’s still light outside for the best results. Worry less about what the surroundings look like, and more about the quality of light. Turn off that flash!
5). Get outdoors
Outside, you have plenty of options. A cloudy day gives a nice even light that’s easy to work with.
If it’s a sunny day, try holding out until an hour or so before sunset (termed ‘the golden hour’ for good reason) then snap away – you’ll have stunning golden sunlight that’s super pretty, and it’s less ‘squinty’ for your subjects than midday sun too!
Download 5 more bonus tips in my FREE guide here!
Top 10 Tips For Taking Photos of Your Kids In Lockdown
Do let me know how you get on with taking photos of your kids! I’d love for you to share your images with me on Instagram or Facebook by tagging @schryverphoto.
Good luck!
Helen x
P.S. Parents (particularly mums, myself included!) are usually guilty of spending all their time behind the camera and none in front of it. I know, you hate having your photo taken.. but don’t you cherish those old snaps of you as a child with your mum and dad? When they’re older, your children will love to look back on old photographs of you – you’re perfect in their eyes . Consider hiring a professional photographer – like me! – to capture all those perfectly real family moments.
My photo sessions are good fun! It’s just you as a family, hanging out and doing whatever you love (baking, playing games, wrestling, watching Disney films..), with me and my camera there with you to capture the magic.
We hope you enjoyed these top tips for taking photos of your children & thank you Helen for this amazing post! It is going to be so helpful to so many people!
