That Mama Club

Archives for April 2021

5 WAYS SMALL BUSINESSES CAN BE MORE SUSTAINABLE

Filed Under: ECO LIVING, HOME, LIFESTYLE, SUSTAINABILITY //

small businesses can be more sustainable

[AD – THIS IS A PAID FOR POST]

The majority of us are all doing our bit to be more sustainable at home, but when it comes to running a business, it can be a minefield where to start! We are here to share 5 ways that small businesses can be more sustainable!

HOW SMALL BUSINESSES CAN BE MORE SUSTAINABLE

CONSERVE ELECTRICITY 

Be conscious of the energy you use, some of these are so simple but things that we can all be guilty of..

  • Make sure to turn off all electronics when they aren’t in use.
  • Take full advantage of natural lighting, whether that is putting your laptop and desk near a window or taking photos!
  • Enable sleep mode on your electronics.
  • Remember to turn off all lights once you’ve clocked off for the day!

GREEN OFFICE SUPPLIES

These won’t only help reduce your carbon footprint, they’ll reduce a businesses energy bill!

  • Change to LED light bulbs
  • Use rechargeable batteries in your cameras ect
  • Buy recycled paper/use both sides of paper!
  • Choose reusable ink cartridges so you can refill them.

SUSTAINABLE PACKAGING

One very important part of running a small businesses is the packaging you use, it is the first thing your customer sees! Custom printed boxes UK are a great idea to really get your brand across. Paper and cardboard packaging is great but there are a lot more steps being taken to use fully compostable packaging which will result in no waste whatsoever.

  • Don’t use excessive packaging.
  • Can be repurposed when no longer usable.
  • Manufactured locally

GO PAPERLESS

A lot of things now are done digitally and having things stored on a computer/hard drive makes it much easier to things safe. Whether it is receipts, bills or orders – this is the perfect way your small businesses can be more sustainable. Such a small difference can be huge!

SUPPORT & COLLABORATE WITH OTHER SUSTAINABLE BUSINESSES

There are so many amazing small businesses out there that thrive on being sustainable and collaborating with them would be incredible! Not only to get your business out there to a new audience, but will also show how passionate you are about sustainability – whether it is asking for advice or exchanging support!

Do you run a small business? Are you taking small steps to be more sustainable?

 

 

POSITIVE C-SECTION EXPERIENCE DURING A PANDEMIC

Filed Under: BIRTH, GUEST POST //

WRITTEN BY RACHEL (GUEST WRITER)

Today, Rachel is sharing with us, all about her positive c-section experience, during the Covid-19 pandemic. This month is c-section awareness month and we want to share that you CAN have a positive c-section experience, even if it wasn’t originally in your plan. If you had a positive c-section, please let us know!

This is a hard subject as it is very difficult to accurately portray what happened. I remember feeling upset only days after giving birth because I could not accurately remember what had happened. It was almost like different bits were slipping away, in the same way a dream does. I was trying to keep hold of it but suddenly, it was gone, or I would have to go over and over it, to get it right. Where does it go! I guess some of my positive c-section experience has gone to join my forgotten dreams. It is such a pinnacle moment in a woman’s life, and I wanted to remember every little bit. Some women may want to forget their experience and it does seem that the female mind has a coping mechanism already structured into their brain, as most women seem to forget or remember their experience slightly differently, especially as time goes on. I remember reading somewhere, that what we remember, and each time we remember something, it is always slightly different, so what we remember today is perhaps a version of what happened. I would recommend filming it! You do not have to watch it if you do not want to! Here is what happened during my positive c-section experience.

POSITIVE C-SECTION EXPERIENCE

POSITIVE C-SECTION

Everything for me seemed to happen so quickly once I was taken to the theatre. I was so nervous and there seemed to be a flurry of people around me with different jobs to do and as the anaesthetist could tell I was nervous, she kept talking to me about my cats. It is like they have done their jobs so many times, they become a bit robotic, everything is second nature. They move around you, making everything seem easy and uncomplicated and when I caught their eyes, they would smile. Yes, all these people were wearing masks, but you can tell when someone is smiling, their whole face changes shape and I think they seemed to have mastered the ‘mask smile’ to ensure their patients know everything is ok. 

As a nurse, I enjoy seeing the way other health care professionals (HCP) work and I find it fascinating. For me, an excellent HCP is someone who can expertly do their job whilst having the right amount of emotional intelligence to react to their patients’ needs. When you consider what has been in the news over the last couple of years regarding maternity care, including the East Kent and Shrewsbury and Telford scandals, I think that women need to be able to trust their care providers. I can confidently say that I felt in completely safe hands when I had Scarlett. I had been suffering with some anxiety before giving birth, I was worried about losing control. 

I have never given birth before, so my experience can only be compared to what actually happened on July 23rd 2020 or one born every minute, which I’m not sure is completely accurate! Too much drama for my liking! I do not think any birth experience should have the boring adjective ’normal’ attached to it but 2020 has made sure of this anyway! Although, to be told that you have had a normal birth is reassuring as it ensues that everything went well, whether you think it was normal is another matter! You must remember that to the lay person, your normal is completely different to the healthcare professionals ‘normal’ and healthcare professionals must remember this as well. I have to say being a nurse, there is nothing wrong with being boring and normal. If I write normal one more time!! During my nurse training I did watch someone give birth and it was amazing. I remember to this day, seeing the determination, strength, exhaustion and then the complete elation when the baby was born. Women’s bodies are just incredible. 

To give birth requires considerable energy and courage but then Covid has added on another level of anxiety and uncertainty. The information you are told seems to be ever-changing, the midwives at your ante-natal appointments can only give you accurate information that is available at that exact moment, they make no promises, you hear whispers that so and so had to give birth alone, that hospitals are only letting birth partners in when they are 4cm dilated, that pregnant women are alone trying to navigate themselves to the delivery ward, whilst carrying their hospital bag (or I’m sure suitcase in some circumstances) and security guards are not letting birth partners in. How are women supposed to cope with so much uncertainty when they are in labour? It is such a vulnerable time. The last thing they should be thinking about is, where is my mask and hand sanitiser, but I am sure many women have already thought of this and put some ready in the car! It is a frightening time and again seems like a postcode lottery to what the Covid policy is at your chosen hospital. Birth partners stay in their cars or pace the car parks waiting for the phone call, will they make it in time, are their loved ones ok, are their babies ok? 

Try not to worry, I guess they are trying to deliver care which is safe for everyone. I just wish it could be more streamlined and that someone in the patient information department could release statements to squash the rumour mill scare stories. It can be scary enough! Having a baby should be a magical time, and for most (hopefully) you have waited nine months to meet your beautiful baby and you should at the very least be supported by your birthing partner. I do think that hospitals should be releasing up to date advice more regularly to reassure their patients. To be informed only empowers us and helps us prepare. I have learnt through my job, that yes, the information you are giving may not always be great news or not what someone wants to hear but to not tell someone is essentially only making things worse. Communication is key. We need time to process and come to terms with what our new reality is. Maternity services have now had time to put together clinical guidance which will offer key advice for pregnant women during this horrible time, if you are pregnant, this is very reassuring. You can access this information through the RCOG.

Usually, when someone gives birth you might expect to be asked questions such as how was the birth, how are mother and baby doing? Instead, these seem to be secondary, I remember being asked did you have to wear a mask, did you have to have a Covid test, was Colin allowed in. People tend to ask you questions with a certain tone, they might feel sorry for you, and maybe they should. 

I do think it is very weird that we have pictures of me and my husband wearing masks. It takes away some of the actual emotion of what was really going on but also highlights what a crazy time we are living in. I worry that in years to come my pictures will only be a reminder of Covid. Although, people may also see a brave couple about to experience something amazing and yet normal, in a time which was not normal at all. I was wearing a mask whilst I was having a c-section – that is not normal! 

Covid or no Covid, my birth experience was all I could have hoped for. I hope your experience was amazing too and I hope that you and your babes are healthy. My birth experience was slightly more structured as I was booked in for a caesarean section. I did feel slightly in control, we knew a time to get to the hospital, the security guard found our names on the list, and we were admitted on to the delivery ward. 

There is something strange about knowing when your baby will be born, it does feel slightly like cheating. This thought was pronounced as I could hear women in labour. I heard such deep strong noises; these women were doing something amazing. And here I was, essentially waiting to be cut open! This was becoming very real as the minutes ticked by. It is such a surreal thought, looking at your tummy, and knowing soon a baby is going to come out of it, like a magic trick..ta da!! For me, it was weird that I was going to meet someone for the first time that my body had grown over forty weeks, and yet, this creature did not know me, and I did not know her, but we were bound together. I do not know how you felt but although I knew I was going to have a baby, I could never quite believe it. It made me worry whether there was going to be love at first sight. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I did get this awe-inspiring feeling of absolute love when I first met her. I felt amazed at what had just happened but the feeling of being absolute besotted and the kind of love that makes you want to cry would take a few weeks at least. This can be completely normal and so if this is happening to you, just give it time. 

I keep a diary and so I am going to put in my diary entrance from when I had my section. It was written seven days after having the operation and it is slightly erratic, but it probably gives the most accurate version:

31st July 2020:

‘I wanted to write this sooner and wished I had, as I’m already forgetting some of the things that happened in the last 7/8 days and I don’t want to. It’s been an emotional time, not least because I’ve had a baby, major surgery, stayed in hospital for four nights but we’ve had to have Denzil put down…(Denzil was one of our cats and he had to put down the day after we got home from hospital. I have honestly never felt such happiness and sadness at the same time). 

When we got to the hospital it was so surreal – I kept thinking whatever happens I will have a baby by 1pm. I couldn’t imagine the thing that was in my tummy would be on the outside…

At about 11am the midwife came back and said they were ready. I was so nervous. I fully expected to go to theatre on a bed but she just said take your pillow and Colin got the bags and we walked through. She weighed me first, I was 66.8kg (I had put on 10kg)! Then we just literally walked into the theatre – there was no waiting room. It was quite overwhelming – there were quite a lot of people – mostly women and two men. Maybe six women. The anaesthetist asked me to sit on the bed – she was asking about my cats. I was absolutely petrified. Colin was there with me. She was trying to put a cannula in my right wrist – she put local in first which stung but was struggling – I told her I was extremely nervous and thirsty. She gave up and put another cannula in. Another lady was going to do my epidural, I wondered if she was training. I was told to put my feet on a chair in front of me so I could pull my knees into my chest, I was told to relax my shoulders – at this point I was uncontrollably shaking all over – I couldn’t stop. I was told I would feel something cold being sprayed on my back, which I think was local anaesthetic. It was very cold. She then felt for the space where she was going to inject. It was completely weird – I felt a weird pressure – and then a warm feeling, which gradually went to my toes and started to rise in my legs – everything started to feel heavy – I expected to feel numb, but it was more like a pins and needle feeling. I was then asked to lie myself on the bed which I wasn’t sure I’d manage but I did.

One of the men helped me to stay on my left- hand side and then I was lifted onto another bed – by now I felt really weird. My arms were on my chest and I could barely feel my chest! The lady then sprayed me with something very cold on my shoulder and said she would spray this on my legs going up to my chest and I was to tell her when I felt it as cold as the first spray – I felt it around my breasts. Its not that you can’t feel it but you can’t feel the cold.

The surgeon came in then and she asked if I wanted to see baby being born – I did. It was all very quick from this moment – the screen went up in front of me – Colin was to my right – I just kept looking at him – he was talking to me – I think I was crying – I could feel tugging and there was pushing and pulling all the way up near my ribs – it was making the screen shake! The anaesthetist said your waters have gone – and I heard someone say there’s lots of water – then I heard a suction. I was told it was time for her to be delivered – it felt like it only been a couple of minutes. The screen was down and Colin was up with the camera ready.

As I was lay flat I couldn’t see the first bit but then I heard the surgeon say there’s lots of hair and then I saw this full head of hair being lifted out – she cried straight away and lifted both her arms up! It was incredible but also unbelievable that its happening to you. Baby was then whisked off and Colin went with her – I could hear her crying. The anaesthetist talked me through everything they were doing with baby. I was not really with it – I was really wanting to know her birth weight. When she was brought back she was placed on my naked chest. It was so surreal and she was rooting almost straight away.

The anaesthetist took some pictures of us. It took them about 30 minutes to stitch me up. I was then wheeled through to recovery. I was still shaking. The midwife was with me and another man. My temp had dropped to 35 something – they put a bear wrap over me and Scarlett. We then went to the main recovery for about an hour. The midwife put Scarlett on my breast and to my amazement there was this gold liquid coming from my nipples. I then got transferred to the post-natal ward C2 and I was wheeled there with Scarlett on my bare chest. I had been given diamorphine and I was really itchy on my legs and tummy. I think I asked Colin about 10 times how much she weighed. It was all just very surreal. I couldn’t stop staring at her, a fully formed perfect human had just come out of my body!’


Thank you for reading about my positive c-section , I have really loved writing this blog post. I am aware that for some of you, your birth experience may not have been anything like what you had hoped for. If you think that something could have gone better, your experience was not good or if you feel down about what happened, then you might want to consider having a debrief. Your health visitor should be able to give you the right paperwork, do not be scared to ask, your mental and physical health is very important and may make all the difference to how you feel going forward. 

We hope you enjoyed reading Rachel’s positive c-section experience. Did you have a positive c-section?

What would you want to know about a positive c-section? Did you think a positive c-section could be possible?

YOU CAN FIND RACHEL ON;

INSTAGRAM: SCARLETT TRUTH HONESTY

C-SECTION EXPECTATIONS

Filed Under: BIRTH, GUEST POST //

WRITTEN BY DARSHANA (GUEST WRITER)

C-SECTION EXPECTATIONS

Darshana is sharing c-section expectations vs the reality of what it was actually like to experience!

C-SECTION EXPECTATIONS

I remember being at my NCT meeting when I was pregnant with my first daughter and there was a class on c-sections. I remember how they described a c-section as one of the scariest experiences you will ever go through when giving birth. I was asked to sit in the middle of the room and around 4 to 5 other group members were asked to surround me to describe how intimidating a c-section could be with so many people around you while you lay there being cut open. 

With my first daughter I had a vaginal birth which was a long and traumatic experience. I was in hospital being induced for around 5 days before I finally went into labour. After around 15 hours of labour and the help of an epidural, I finally gave birth to my beautiful little girl but unfortunately, my placenta was caught behind my closed cervix, so I was taken into the operation theatre to get it manually removed. 

With my second daughter – who is now two months old – I was induced once again, this time because my waters had broken but I wasn’t aware of it. This meant a chance of infection for the baby. I remember being terrified of being induced again and the thought of my husband not being by my side while I went through it all – giving that the pandemic placed limits on birth partners prior to the birth. Luckily, he could be with me as soon as the induction process began. As soon as they put the pessary in me, my contractions came on too strong, too quickly which wasn’t right and they explained that they will be moving us down to the delivery ward so I can get the hormone drip and start my labour. 

We were moved into a room in the delivery ward where my husband and I were getting ready for me to get the hormone drip and start the labour process. We had no idea what was about to happen. Around 5 medical staff walked into the room with a consultant, and they all surrounded me as I sat on the bed. They started to explain that my baby’s heartbeat was dropping every time I had a contraction, and they feared the baby could be at risk. By the end of the conversation, I was told I would require an emergency C-section.

I remember feeling so scared for my baby and I feared the idea of being cut open to have her taken out. The whole moment felt surreal. Considering I had preeclampsia with my first daughter and still gave a normal birth, I never thought an emergency c-section would even be an option. I remember crying as the doctor read the risks to me before asking me to sign the operation papers, she asked if I wanted to have a moment to process it all, but I told her to continue and fought back my streaming tears.

I was wheeled into the operation theatre where the staff were so lovely and made me feel so calm and comfortable. When I had the epidural during my first daughter it was a very unpleasant experience as the anaesthesiologist had hit a blood vessel at the first attempt and had to try again. I was expecting the same pain but this time it felt nothing like the first time. Within 10-15 minutes of me lying down and being numb, my second baby girl was here. I could not believe how quickly it happened and how I did not feel a thing, maybe just some pulling but it felt unbelievably quick. I was feeling very nauseous from the anaesthetic and felt very cold and shivery – apparently this was normal.  

I have been asked by many women close to me how I found the c-section and which birth I preferred. After having my first daughter I remember saying to my husband I don’t know if I can go through that again and I don’t think I want any more kids. This time I said to my husband if I have a c-section I will definitely have a third. I know some people might find this reaction surprising because a c-section is such serious surgery but I found it quick, and I didn’t struggle with contractions. Weirdly, I felt like I had more control because I knew she was coming now, I didn’t have to wait and wait not knowing when I would finally meet her.  

The recovery

I agree the recovery is a long and hard road but I was lucky enough to have the support. I was staying with my parents when I just came out of hospital as our house was being renovated. I had many people running around my toddler helping entertain her while I rested and spent time with my newborn. I stayed on top of my painkillers – which really helped – and I felt like I was able to get up and walk around slowly quite quickly. I think the reason why I dealt with the recovery better was because I had Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) throughout my pregnancy which had me in crutches near the end and the recovery from a c-section felt like I was still dealing with the SPD symptoms. 

I did struggle with the idea of not being able to do a lot on my own and feeling helpless when it came to caring for my toddler. It got me down a lot of days but I also pushed to recover quicker than I should have which resulted in my stitches being infected. The infection pain was worse than any pain I felt throughout the recovery process. Every time I laughed or coughed, I was in excruciating pain, it was horrible. I ended up having to go to the doctors and being prescribed antibiotics to help my stitches heal. Three months on and I still don’t feel 100%, it is delicate where the stitches once were and almost numb at times. I still get a pulling pain when lying down or running. I keep wondering if this pulling pain will go or if it will stick around. People that see me think I am fully recovered but I still deal with some pain getting out of bed and when I try to run or if I move suddenly but my mind keeps telling me I am a mum and I have to just get on with life with or without any pain, my family needs me. 

I am still on the road to recovery but I do know one thing, a c-section is not as scary as it is made out to be as long as you are in good hands in that theatre, I was lucky and I am thankful for that. 

Stigma behind c-sections

‘too posh to push’

This saying has always confused me and made me think who created this? Who thinks that a woman is any less of a mother or even less of a woman if she brings her child into the world through an operation rather than pushing them out? You give birth to your children; you have carried them for 9 months and you have then had your body cut open to bring them into this world. You have gone through the same trauma, the same feelings regardless of how your baby enters your world. Why does it make you any different if you opted or had no choice but to go through a c-section?

I always care what people think and slowly I am learning why I should care? They didn’t go through my pregnancy or the birth with me! It was just me, I know how I felt and what I went through mentally and physically so what gives anyone else the right to have an opinion on how my baby comes into the world? 

Top tips for anyone who is about to have a c-section or fears a potential emergency c-section:

  • Mentally prepare yourself to have limited mobility post operation. Do not feel disheartened at how difficult it is to get confidently mobile. 
  • When coming out of the shower make sure you dab (not rub) the c-section area with a towel and then lie down and air dry it. I didn’t know about air drying the area so I got an infection, luckily my cousin who is a midwife helped me through that period and told me what I should do.  
  • Even if you think you are healing quickly, give yourself time, you might slow down the healing by thinking you are perfectly fine.
  • Don’t lift anything heavy! 
  • Ask for help, you definitely need it. Call in all the help you can, grandparents, siblings or friends and don’t feel bad for it. 
  • If you notice any puss or redness around your stitches, make sure you call the doctor. If your stitches are infected it’s best to get onto an antibiotic course as soon as possible.
  • If the area does get infected, hold that area when you laugh, sneeze or cough, it will hurt a little less. 
  • Don’t put into your mind that you ‘can’t’ walk confidently, giving yourself time is fine but don’t stop making small efforts to help yourself recover.

Bringing your baby into this world is a blessing, how they come into this world doesn’t matter as long as they are healthy and happy. I know my baby is gorgeous, healthy (touch wood) and happy. I have no shame or no fear in saying that I had a c-section, and I will opt for one next time too (if there is a next time) over vaginal birth too. Your body and you are amazing, never forget that beautiful mamas!

YOU CAN FIND DARSHANA ON;

INSTAGRAM: MUM_WITHOUT_INSTRUCTIONS

FIRST TRIMESTER PREGNANCY TIPS

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, PREGNANCY //

We’ve all read the pregnancy books and seen the wonders of impending motherhood shared online but the first trimester is no joke! On one hand, you are so unbelievably excited and on the other, you feel like a exhausted, nauseous sack of shit. I found my second pregnancy MUCH harder than my first, mainly due to the fact I had a toddler to look after. I couldn’t just wallow in pregnancy self pity. I had to function and look after someone else’s needs before my own. We are here to share our first trimester pregnancy tips, to (hopefully) make the ride a little smoother.

first trimester pregnancy tips

FIRST TRIMESTER PREGNANCY TIPS

  • My first trimester was hell I was sick constantly all the way throughout my pregnancy and couldn’t physically function. If I was to give any tips it would be to allow your body to rest , sleep , eat when you can and try drinking enough if you can keep it down. Don’t put pressure on yourself.” – Ria
  • Crackers, ginger biscuits or cereal to help with the sickness
  • Sleep WHENEVER you can! Even if it is just grabbing five minutes on the sofa. Go to sleep when your other children go to sleep. I literally went to bed at 7pm every night for the first four months of my pregnancy with Oliver.
  • Don’t beat yourself up for not feeling yourself! It will pass.
  • Listen to your body. If it needs to rest, rest. If it needs to eat, eat.
  • Indigestion liquid for morning sickness! I had bottles of it everywhere, and the sachets in my handbag. Someone at work thought it was a sachet of mayonnaise! – Mummy’s Waisted
  • Waistband extenders so that I could wear my usual trousers and jeans! These were a life saver and I didn’t need to buy any maternity wear. – Mummy Wishes
  • A good pregnancy pillow. I had twins second time round and by the end was a beached whale in bed (they were both 7.5lbs!) so it was impossible to get comfortable but a long pregnancy pillow that I could curl around me and put between my knees helped. – Twins, Tantrums & Cold Coffee
  • A forehead stick for the inevitable pregnancy headaches, works like a dream! – Emily & Indiana
  • Bio oil! I used it religiously through all three pregnancies and emerged stretch mark free. Aside from that benefit, the act of just massaging your tummy is such a lovely chance to bond with your bump and your baby. – The Good Thing Is Though
  • Soft comfy bras without wires that can grow with you! – Refined Prose
  • Water bottle to keep you hydrated during the day as you do tend to feel quite hot and thirsty when you’re pregnant!

We hope these first trimester pregnancy tips helped! Are you currently pregnant? What has helped you?

A QUICK CLOTH NAPPY GUIDE

Filed Under: CLOTH NAPPIES, GUEST POST, HOME, MOTHERHOOD, SUSTAINABILITY //

WRITTEN BY EMMA REED (GUEST WRITER)

CLOTH NAPPY

If you are looking to switch or are just starting out with cloth nappies I can assure you that this is the beginning of a great journey. Not only will you be providing your baby with a more comfortable nappy, but you will also be taking steps in becoming more eco-friendly too. Cloth (or reusable) nappies have come a long way in recent years so in this guide we will take a quick look at what they are like, the terms, how many you will need, how to use them and how to care for them.

Modern Cloth Nappies

When you are presented with the term cloth nappies I am sure your immediate thoughts go back to white terry towels that are bulky and are fastened with a safety pin and, many years ago, this was very true and the only nappy option out there. Today’s cloth nappies have come a long way and we now have natural materials, quick-drying fabrics, improved technology, a variety of absorbency levels as well as the development of PUL which provides a waterproof layer on the outside of the cloth nappy. On top of this, modern cloth nappies are beautifully designed and fit perfectly.

Cloth Nappy Terms

There are a lot of new terms to learn when it comes to the world of cloth nappies and these can overwhelm and put many parents off but once you break them down and begin to understand what they mean, it all begins to slot into place:

All in ones or AIO’s are all in one nappies which simply means that the main insert is attached to the nappy. You don’t remove anything for washing but you can boost them for extra absorbency.

Pocket nappies have a pocket in the back where the insert is placed inside. This is what absorbs the urine and keeps it away from the baby’s skin. You can add extra inserts (boosters) for optimum absorbency. These inserts will fall out during the wash and you will have to stuff the nappy again once dry.

A two-part nappy system is made up of 2 cloth nappies. One that fully absorbs the moisture and a wrap that sits over the top of this to contain the wetness. These are a great option for a heavy wetter and for night time.

Pre-fold nappies are you traditional-looking style like your terry towel. These are extremely absorbent and can be used as above. However, there’s no need for safety pins now, nippas are clever rubber fasteners that will grip the pre-fold together with no risk of injury.

An all in two is a cloth nappy that has an insert that can popper inside which means you may be able to get away with just taking this out, replacing with a clean one and reusing the wrap at change time. 

A Little More Cloth Jargon…

Liners – There are 2 options here, a reusable liner or a disposable liner. A disposable is a thin piece of viscose that sits inside a nappy to catch the poo and can then be thrown away in a normal waste bin. A reusable liner will most likely be made of fleecy material and will do the same job as a disposable one but you will tip the poo into the toilet and wash the reusable liner to be used again.

Inserts – This is the absorbent layer that goes inside a cloth nappy.

Boosters – These are extra inserts (usually made from bamboo, Microfibre, Charcoal, Hemp) which provide an extra boost for your heavier wetters.

Choosing A Cloth Nappy

Which cloth nappy you choose will come down to what you like, what fits well, what is more convenient to you, absorbency, fastenings and of course, style and design.

My top tips in helping you to decide upon which cloth nappies to use are to speak to other cloth nappy parents, read reviews and blogs on particular brands, check if your local area has a cloth nappy library where you can get fantastic advice and also borrow a variety and to also join cloth nappy Facebook groups. Once you get a good idea of what will work for you, you can begin to build up your stash.

How Many Will You Need?

This will highly depend on whether or not you want to cloth full time. If you think that using cloth nappies full time is the right move for you then you will need around 20-25 nappies to be able to comfortably achieve this. However, if you don’t feel confident to go in full time, if your childcare setting won’t accept cloth nappies, you can do part disposable and part reusable. There are no rules, you just do what works for you and your family.

How To Use Cloth Nappies

A cloth nappy goes on and fastens in a very similar way to a disposable nappy. You have poppers to adjust the size (rise) and to tighten around the waist. You want a nice snug fit with the leg elastics turned in to prevent leaks and no movement. A baby should ideally get around 2-4 hours wear out of a cloth nappy but identifying when a change is required will take a little practise and time as you get to know how much urine it can hold. There is no indicator line here to help you but a quick feel of the outside should help you to determine how full a nappy is.

When your baby is ready for a nappy change, you simply remove it, clean them up with a wipe as you usually would and then place a new cloth nappy on. If the dirty nappy you have just removed is only wet, you can place this into your wet bag or nappy bin ready for the next wash. If you have a soiled nappy, you will need to tip the poo down the toilet, remove as much from the nappy as possible (you may need a wipe, toilet roll or scraper if it is a loose stool) and then place the cloth nappy in your nappy bin.

Washing & Drying

Washing your cloth nappies is probably the biggest talking point in the cloth nappy world. Everyone has their own routine as we all do with our regular washing but as a guide you should do:

  • Cold rinse or daily wash, no detergent
  • Longest and best cycle (usually a cotton or baby care) on a 40 or 60 degree with full dose of detergent (no conditioner)
  • Spin at 1200 or less
  • Air dry

Keeping a simple routine will make using cloth nappies really easy for you.

And that’s it really. My biggest piece of advice would be to just delve into the world of cloth nappies and give it a go. Once you start using them, you begin to find your feet with it all and soon enough you will be hooked!

Emma Reed is a Mother and Blogger who lives in Hampshire with her 2 children, Jake (7) and William (3), and her husband, Rob. She began her parenting blog back in 2016 when she self-published a book on baby teething. Her blog is inevitably what led her to begin living a more eco-friendly lifestyle and she now uses her platforms to show others how they can also adapt their own lives to incorporate these changes. You can read her blog over at www.emmareed.net or follow her on Instagram over at @emmareed_writes

MY C-SECTION STORY

Filed Under: BIRTH, GUEST POST, HOME //

WRITTEN BY RIA MONTGOMERY (GUEST WRITER)

Today I am going to be sharing my c-section story. I fell pregnant quite quickly after planning to have a baby with my other half. I was around 3 weeks when I found out and it was the best feeling but also the worst.

I suffered badly with hyperemesis throughout my whole pregnant along with preeclampsia. I hated been pregnant I felt unwell constantly and was in and out of hospital because I couldn’t keep anything down.

As my pregnancy went on I went in for a scan and I was 36 weeks pregnant. Talking to the midwife about my birth plan , discussing my options I had everything planned. I wanted a natural birth but would accept any help if I needed it i felt as prepared as a I could for the arrival of my daughter. Until I had a scan at 36 weeks it lasted longer than normal and I asked the lady at the time if everything was okay and she said all is fine however I’ll be seeing a specialist straight after and to wait to be called through.

I remember thinking what’s going on worrying something was seriously wrong.

After 10 anxious minutes we got called in.

The guy who we saw sat us down and explained that our daughter wasn’t growing properly , and at the right size for how far on I was and that she was measuring small. I didn’t understand why and I questioned was it something I had done was it my body? The specialist told me that it wasn’t any of my fault and this can happen but at the same time I felt like I was to blame.

He then told me that I had to have a C – Section within two days time. It was Thursday at this time and come Sunday I was having her out.

I remember crying , thinking the worst and being scared of the unknown.

It wasn’t what I had planned. Even though I wasn’t looking forward to giving birth having a serious operation scared me to death.

I went home and I cried for a few hours. I felt sick and I just wanted it to be over.

I had my baby shower the Saturday morning and told my friends and family that Maisie would be born Sunday.

Let’s just say everyone was shocked and I still couldn’t believe what was happening.

Sunday came the 9th feb.

I went into hospital for 7.30am after getting a call from my midwife to come down. I felt scared but so excited that I would be meeting my little girl very soon.

We got taken into a bay and I was asked to get undressed and into a robe.

My bloods got taken before and my blood pressure.

And then it was time to go down to theatre. My heart was racing with fear.

I remember walking into theatre and there were 6 members of staff and even that made me feel uneasy but I knew I was in safe hands and they were there to help.

I got asked to sit on the bed in order for me to have the spinal epidural , being asked to sit still and relax was pretty hard considering I was literally shitting myself at the fact that I was going to be having a needle put into my back and not being able to feel the bottom half of my body.

However with the help of a theatre nurse it was done and within minutes I couldn’t feel a thing from waist down. It was a very strange feeling.

My partner was next to me holding my hand , I had a drip on one arm and my Blood pressure been measured on another as well as a cannula  in my hand for any drugs I needed at the time.

I was given something , I’m not quite sure what but within seconds I wanted to be sick I felt really unwell and went very pale. I remember turning to my partner and telling him and he had to get someone to give me some anti sickness in order to help. I thought something bad was happening to me at this point but within a few minutes I felt normal again.

The surgeon talked me through what he was doing ( not in full detail ) but made me aware of the feeling I may feel during the procedure. I could feel a lot of tugging but other than that I couldn’t feel much at all.

Very quickly Maisie arrived weighing 4lb 7oz. Once I had been stitched back up I was taken back to my room.

This part was a little blurry due to all the drugs I had.

The road to recovery was hard. I couldn’t do the things I should of being able to do. I couldn’t pick my daughter up or bend or make any sudden movements as it hurt. I couldn’t Life anything and even climbing the stairs hurt.

I felt useless and like a rubbish mum and this was only the beginning.

I needed help to get in and out of bed for 10 days before I could find my own way of doing it. 10 days I spent inside feeling and looking like crap. I felt gross. Was this really motherhood?

10 days on and I managed to venture out for a little walk. Fresh air did me the world of good and that was something that kept me sain especially when I couldn’t do a lot just getting out after being inside for a solid 10 days really made a difference.

For anyone who is having a section.

Know that everything will be okay.

It doesn’t last forever the feeling you may have and you get a beautiful baby in your arms after.

Make sure you rest and don’t put pressure on yourself. And if you need to cry then cry. I did a lot of it even months after.

There you have it, Ria’s c-section story – We hope this post helped if you had a similar birth!

YOU CAN FIND RIA ON;

INSTAGRAM: MAMA AND MOON

MY EMERGENCY C-SECTION EXPERIENCE

Filed Under: BIRTH, BIRTH TRAUMA, GUEST POST //

WRITTEN BY ISOBEL STOCKS (GUEST WRITER)

C-SECTION EXPERIENCE

Theodore Thomas arrived into the world on the 8th August 2019 and this is the story of his birth. I think it’s important to say that even though I consider my birth story a traumatic one, it was simultaneously a magical and empowering experience. I really wanted to find the courage to share this with a community of mamas and prospective mamas in the hope that a handful of you may relate to my story or appreciate my honesty. Today I am going to be sharing my emergency c-section experience. 

MY C-SECTION EXPERIENCE

At the halfway point of my pregnancy, we were told that a C-section might be necessary as my placenta was too low and because Teddy was measuring big. However, my placenta eventually moved and we got the all-clear for a natural birth around 34 weeks. In my mind I then wrote off the idea of a C-section and looked forward to a natural birth.

A few days before my due date, I went for a sweep (this is where the midwife brushes the membranes around your cervix in order to stimulate hormones and encourage labour). I was worried it would be uncomfortable but I barely felt a thing. We also had a last minute scan to check Teddy’s size and position. We were then told that he was measuring small and that they recommended induction in case he had stopped growing (and scarily, in case the placenta had stopped functioning). Later you will understand the irony of this!

We were booked in for an induction on the 6th August, two days after my due date. I just kept wishing that he would come naturally on those days in-between. Part of me thought he would suddenly make an appearance in the middle of the night; I was so uncomfortable, I felt loads of pressure down there where Teddy’s head seemed so low, and my husband Matt definitely had a few nightmares where he woke up in a panic thinking it was “showtime” and he hadn’t put the car-seat in the car! Looking back now, Teddy was born at 1.43am and perhaps I had mother’s intuition that he would arrive in the early hours.

On induction day, we felt surprisingly calm and relaxed. We had a lovely space in the induction ward at our local NHS hospital, with a sofa, a TV, and even a little patio table and chairs. We played board games and ate ice lollies as it was the peak of summer, with no idea what awaited us.

My induction kicked in about 14 hours after I had a pessary put in and labour was extremely intense. It began in the night – Matt was asleep on the sofa and I remember rolling around endlessly on the bed, bouncing on my birthing ball and trying to listen to a playlist I’d made of songs that reminded me of Teddy to take my mind off the deep period-like pains rooted in my back. When I really began to struggle with the pain, I asked for a warm bath, which did help me relax. From there, I started inhaling gas and air and I only remember snippets. 

I was in active labour for about 19 hours in total. I genuinely feel like I just lost a day in my life. I dozed in and out of sleep or a hallucinatory state. Matt was a superhero, supporting and comforting me while liaising with medical professionals and keeping anxious family in the loop. It came to a point – about 10 ‘o’ clock at night – when I was told to start pushing. By then the pain became indescribable and I begged for an epidural, despite my previous adamance that I would never have one. I have a huge phobia of needles! 

After checking I was certain, the midwives called the anaesthetist to administer my epidural and I prepared myself mentally for what we thought was the final stage: we were finally going to meet our baby. Then came the next hiccup. Teddy was right there, in the birth canal, but he was stuck. The midwives called a consultant in and they agreed it didn’t look like baby was going to come out, so would we agree to a c-section? We were reluctant at first; after such an intense labour and hours on end without sleep we couldn’t process that this was our only option. We just wanted Teddy to be delivered safely and so I signed the consent forms. I was still high on gas and air; I know if I had to sign them pre-labour I would probably have been terrified yet I surprised myself with how brave I was. I even accepted that I had to have a top-up of epidural by the time we got round to theatre! I think I made friends with the anaesthetist – I recall that he was really lovely and jolly, even in the middle of the night. 

Eventually the time came for us to proceed to theatre. Matt nervously put on his blue scrubs and crocs. I remember being wheeled into theatre and hearing the radio, which put me at ease. The lights were bright but oddly homely and I felt like I was entering a café or coffee shop! I was lifted from my trolley bed onto the surgery table by the doctors and midwives. My body just flopped onto the table; I couldn’t feel it because of the epidurals, it was like it didn’t belong to me. A big screen that looked like a sheet was constructed in front of me, it came up to my bra line. I lay back and shut my eyes as I just felt so tired. I really had no concept of what was going on; the doctors were chatting away about their shift as they must have been starting the procedure! The delivery of our baby. I grasped Matt’s hand and we waited, wondering what was happening behind the sheet and hoping Teddy wasn’t too distressed.

I felt absolutely no pain at all, instead I felt a surreal pulling sensation, like the surgeons were on a treasure hunt in my tummy, moving everything around, looking behind my organs, then putting them back into place again! That sounds gruesome, but the C-section itself wasn’t a scary ordeal. It felt quite peaceful. I almost wish we had some of those beautiful photographs you see of a C-section baby being lifted out of mum’s tum taken, but Matt did say he peeped under the screen when my monitor started beeping, and it scared him to death. I forgot to say that the song playing on the radio as Teddy entered the world was Cutting Crew – “I just died in your arms tonight”. Hence why Matt was petrified.

Teddy came into the world and they announced that he weighed ten pounds on the dot! So his growth had not slowed as they had estimated – that was the whole reason for my induction! At that point the monitor started beeping. Matt heard them say I was losing lots of blood and that they were considering a transfusion! At this point I felt so drowsy and a midwife started stroking my hair, trying to keep me awake. Matt accompanied Teddy as he had to have an injection and a proper check over because of a suspected infection. I got a very quick glimpse of him across the room – he was so pink, he had such a distinctive cry and I remember thinking his ears didn’t look like mine or Matt’s! That split second was the most magical moment of my life, but then Teddy disappeared.

It was traumatic to be instantly separated from my baby. I felt distressed and even doubted that he was mine as I hadn’t witnessed the birth and I hadn’t even touched him. Therefore I couldn’t make that physical connection yet. I waited for forty minutes, although it felt like forever, for Teddy and Matt to return. I was desperate to see Teddy’s tiny face up close and to feel his skin on mine for the very first time. I was desperate to embrace Matt and to be united as a family. I remember becoming very impatient with a midwife and asking for a drink of water and some sugar while I was waiting as I felt so weak! I didn’t get offered the classic post-birth toast! I remember crying floods of tears as the midwife wrote notes in my file. Goodness knows what she wrote! 

This period of time post-surgery wasn’t the most pleasant experience, however I must stress that we had numerous midwives look after us from the very beginning of my induction who were kind, compassionate, personable and who went above and beyond their duty of care. Due to the nature of the birth and Teddy’s infection, we had to stay in hospital for a week in total and Teddy was admitted to the special care unit. Again, here we received incredible care. That’s a whole other story and I am already conscious of how long this is and whether anyone will actually want to keep reading! So now I want to share a few tips for a C-section recovery.

PILLOWS ARE YOUR FRIEND

Finding a comfortable position is really tricky in the early days. Make sure you have lots of pillows, some squashy and some firm to support your back, your shoulders, your hips, your legs. I was reminded never to cross my legs and to keep moving where possible or to do little windmill motions with my ankles to reduce the risk of clots. I used my pregnancy pillow after the birth for breastfeeding. Your wound area is incredibly delicate and you won’t want to put any pressure on it. I even struggled wearing leggings – floaty dresses with loose pyjama shorts underneath and Bridget Jones pants were my go-tos. At night I would roll up a soft blanket and sleep with that wedged under me so my scar couldn’t rub. 

TAKE IT EASY (REALLY, DO)

Don’t bend down to change nappies. Do them on a raised surface like the bed, or ask loved ones to help for those first few weeks. Having a caddy full of essentials such as nappies, wipes, muslins, maternity or breast pads, Lanolin if feeding, pain relief and snacks nearby will stop you needing to locate things and help you save up valuable energy. Avoid loading or unloading the dishwasher, or even washing up for extended periods of time because you’ll find it really hurts your core and therefore your scar. You may feel a failure for not being able to do these basic things. You may feel a lack of control but honestly, you will recover much quicker if you don’t overdo it or strain your scar area. I definitely got frustrated and did too much too quickly, thinking I needed to clean the house when of course, it wasn’t important.

KEEP THE PAIN AT BAY

It is vital that you keep your pain relief topped up. When you leave hospital after a C-section, you will be given a stash of paracetamol and ibuprofen, alongside something stronger. I underestimated the idea of staying on top of it; take it before you feel any pain at all, otherwise it suddenly catches up with you and you will have a few really uncomfortable hours. Set a timer on your phone for every four hours or the recommended dosage time and take it on the dot, even through the night.

EMBRACE THE SOFA SNUGGLES

You have been through an entire pregnancy and birth and now you’ve been thrust into a new job nurturing a new-born who needs you 24/7. Try to relax and make the most of those gorgeous milky snuggles. Any chores can wait, or loved ones should be willing to do them for you! Always accept help. If you want to be alone or feel too emotional to even have family as visitors, then let them come and help you, and tell them that you are going to go to your bedroom to feed and catch up on sleep with baby. They will be grateful just to see you and baby briefly and won’t expect you to be the hostess with the mostess right now, so don’t place that pressure on yourself. 

BEDSIDE SNACKS

Keep snacks and bottles of water by your bed for the middle of the night or an early morning start. Staying hydrated reduces any swelling due to limited mobility and also constipation as you might experience this for up to a few weeks after the C-section. If you’re breastfeeding, I found oat or milk breakfast biscuits really good for providing energy and nutrition; I was also always in need of a little chocolate fix for a pick-me-up. I had an iron deficiency for a few months after my C-section, so ensure to keep your diet rich in iron through green veggies like spinach or dried fruits and cereal (easy to prepare and snack on all day!).

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my c-section experience and that it may have addressed any unanswered questions you had. My birth wasn’t perfect on paper but whenever Teddy points out my smiley face shaped scar in the bath and I say “You came out through there!”, he does a little smile himself, and I feel so proud of myself and my journey to being united with my baby boy.

YOU CAN FIND IZZY ON;

INSTAGRAM: VINTAGEBEAUTYANDTEDDY

C-SECTION ADVICE & TIPS

Filed Under: BIRTH, GUEST POST //

WRITTEN BY MARTYNA (GUEST WRITER)

We have the lovely Martyna today sharing her birth experience and c-section advice.

My c-section wasn’t planned. During pregnancy there was no indication that a c-section might be required to deliver my baby boy Alex safely and it never even crossed my mind that I could need one.

C-SECTION ADVICE

I went into spontaneous labour and everything was going perfectly until it was time to push. I was trying with all my might, literally putting my all into it but Alex was just not moving down, at all. After an hour and a half of unsuccessful pushing, the decision was made to try forceps in theatre followed by an emergency c-section if the forceps was not successful. This was due to  Alex becoming distressed and his heart rate dropping.

I was given an epidural and the doctors attempted delivery by forceps 3 times, but as you probably have guessed,  this was unsuccessful. Once I was told that they would perform a c-section, I just felt utter relief. I was absolutely exhausted and high on pethidine and epidural, and I just wanted my baby to be here.

My husband was with me the entire time, I had a wonderful midwife and a  very lovely anaesthesiologist. They kept me distracted from what was going on, to the point that I didn’t even realise that they had started. I asked the midwife if they had, she nodded and literally a second later, we heard Alex cry and saw him being lifted above the little screen. It was absolute music to our eyes and both my husband and I started crying. He was just perfect, very loud and absolutely massive!

I didn’t feel a thing, in terms of pain or discomfort but I did loose a litre of blood. Whilst I was getting stitched up, Alex had cuddles with daddy, he was checked, weighed and measured – an impressive 9lb 12oz, and 56cm! No wonder he wasn’t moving down into the birth canal as he was supposed to! I did ask to do skin to skin immediately however my baby boy was just too long to fit across my chest!

Once I was taken into recovery, Alex was placed on my chest, we had skin to skin and his first breastfeed. It was amazing and I honestly couldn’t care less about the manner in which he was delivered. He was healthy and strong and in my arms.

My recovery was ok, though I have nothing to compare it to as Alex is my first baby. The midwives on the postnatal ward were really good, and very quick to respond to me asking for help. The epidural takes a while to wear off so you do need help with pretty everything, including even lifting your baby out of their bassinet.
A tip I was given was not to wait for pain before asking for painkillers. Instead, it is best to keep them topped up. Saying that I don’t remember the pain being horrific though everyone experiences pain differently.

I was discharged home around 24 hours after Alex was born, which I was very pleased about  because due to Covid, we were unable to have any visitors. In hindsight, I wish I had stayed for longer, because it later transpired I was dehydrated, anaemic and had picked up an infection.

I was readmitted back into hospital 4 days postpartum due to the infection which turned into sepsis. I’m not sure what caused it but I think that I was definitely trying to do too much too quickly. When Alex was 5 weeks old, my scar, which had been healing perfectly until that point, had re-opened slightly and I developed another infection. This was treated with antibiotics at home though so at least I didn’t need another hospitalisation.

All in all, I would say that m experience of the c-section itself was positive. It went smoothly even though it was an emergency situation. The recovery was the trickiest part for me and I really wish I had taken things easy.

C-SECTION ADVICE

If you are due to have a c-section, don’t fear, and perhaps think about the following –

1. Practice hypnobirthing – whilst I didn’t have a vaginal birth, it really helped me and my husband to stay calm during an emergency situation. I’d highly recommend it.

2. Don’t think that you can’t do skin to skin immediately after delivery, most of the time I believe you can (Alex was just too big to fit across my chest!)

3. Keep your pain killers topped up, don’t wait to be in pain.

4. Oramorph (morphine) is brilliant but it can make you constipated, I’d say only take it if you really need it.

5. I was given a drug of some sort, before the surgery started to stop me from feeling nauseous afterwards, and I was absolutely fine. Another lady on my ward wasn’t and she felt awful in recovery. Perhaps ask for this if you’re not offered it by the anaesthesiologist. (Sorry I can’t remember the name of it)

6. Be kind to yourself and don’t try to do too much too quickly. Remember you have had a major surgery on top of having a baby – rest plenty, eat well and take all the help you can get

7. Enjoy the snuggles with your little bubba – as long as you and your baby are safe and well, it doesn’t matter how you baby was delivered!

YOU CAN FIND MARTYNA ON;

INSTAGRAM; MARTYNA765

PMDD & ME | A TALE OF THE TWISTED SISTER

Filed Under: GUEST POST, MENTAL HEALTH //

WRITTEN BY TERRI (GUEST WRITER)

PMDD

Hi, I’m Terri. I have a twisted sister, her name is premenstrual dysphoric disorder. And the thing is, girls, I’m not alone. Perhaps you’ve got your own twisted sister, too. And if you don’t, then likelihood is that someone you know does, or maybe your mother did, or your colleague at work does, but she holds that inside as she taps away at the keyboard at her desk. Maybe one day your daughter will be graced with her presence. Or, maybe, you’re one of the lucky ones. But even the lucky ones need to know about her. You must be armed and ready, open and willing to educate yourself and others on this. Because she is brutal. She wrecks lives, crushes self-esteem, damages relationships, clips wings, flattens dreams, and most terrifyingly, she impacts ability to function, to parent, to work. At her worst, she tries to take lives.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe reaction to the normal monthly fluctuations of progesterone and oestrogen. It isn’t a hormone imbalance. Or PMT. It isn’t bipolar disorder (BPD) . Or Depression. Postnatal or otherwise. (though so many of the physical and emotional symptoms mimic other disorders that it is very easy to get them confused)
It’s specifically cyclical.
During the follicular phase of a woman’s menstrual cycle (from bleed to the point of Ovulation) a sufferer will feel well, happy, in control, productive. She will have the necessary energy and patience and rationale needed to carry out her day to day duties and to-do-lists with ease. She will love her partner, engage with her friends, appreciate her children, her job, and her hobbies. But during the luteal phase of that very same cycle (typically 1-2 weeks prior to her next period), from Ovulation onwards, everything about her will change. The joy and calm that she experienced during the first half of her cycle will slowly be replaced with anxiety and paranoia. She will no longer be able to find that joy. She’ll beg and plead for it, but in its place will be apathy, fatigue, and rushes of visceral rage at the smallest mishaps. She’ll catastrophize everything, nit-picky, attack and feel attacked. Unwanted intrusive thoughts will blur her vision, her mind will play tricks on her; telling her that she is unlovable and unworthy. She’ll feel everything at magnified levels and it will drive her crazy. Sights, sounds, smells? Magnified. Motivation and energy? Gone. And there are other  symptoms that make life harder for her still. Memory loss, headaches, joint pain, bloating, night sweats, and hot flushes to name a few. She’s either wide awake in the small hours, or she’s in desperate need of a nap. And don’t get me started on libido. A sufferer of PMDD will likely experience frequent moments of overwhelm at even the smallest feats, much less want to jump your bones.
I speak of women, I speak in the tone of a third person, but this is MY reality. I am Terri for 10 days of my cycle, and I am someone else entirely for the rest of it. It has the power to make me feel truly mentally ill when I do not use the right tools to cope with this endocrine mood disorder. It has the power to make me consider taking my own life, to end my marriage and walk away from the children I fought so hard to conceive. And then, like magic, my period arrives and within 1-2 days, the fog dissipates, the weight lifts, the darkness leaves me and I can see clearly again. The joy, the love… all the things that make me, me…(a contented partner, a loving mama, a loyal friend, someone who wants to do good in the world)… she returns with the follicular phase.
This is happening to people everywhere. The statistics state that between 1 and 5% of women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals suffer with PMDD, but I question that figure. It is often misunderstood or misdiagnosed  by medical professionals. There are people out there who think that what is happening to them is “just what happens, its just PMT. “
And I’m here talking to you today to tell you that if the run up to your menstrual cycles are significantly disrupting your life, then that is not PMT. No amount of period jokes will make it so.
There is treatment.
You’re not alone.
You’re not going crazy.
This is not your fault.
It is not something you can “just” control. And nor should you have to try.
For me, PMDD developed I’m my 30s, once my postpartum periods returned. I had Fertility treatment, I had babies, I breastfed, and from then on my life has completely changed. For some women it starts as soon as they begin their periods, as young as their teens. For others it’s a later in life development. So, you see, it can happen to any of us. It’s a serious condition that doesn’t get enough recognition and people are suffering needlessly because of it.
Please do your PMDD research. Familiarise yourself with invaluable resources such as https://iapmd.org/, https://www.pms.org.uk/ and https://www.viciouscyclepmdd.com/ these websites are crammed full of information and help. There’s a huge community of supportive PMDD warriors online, too, and we can fight this fight together. Because we deserve to live our lives to the fullest. We deserve happiness and peace.
I’m over at @ohhheymama and can often be found talking about PMDD, how I manage it, what treatment options I’ve tried, and how it impacts my family and I. Feel free to come over and say hello.
My inbox is always open to anyone struggling. Consider it a safe space to talk about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through.
Xx

C-SECTION AWARENESS MONTH 2021

Filed Under: BIRTH, HOME //

If you don’t usually read our blog or follow us over on Instagram, you might not know that this month is c-section awareness month! We have got in touch with lots of lovely Mama’s from our Instagram community and asked them to share their stories on our website, today we have the lovely Jackie sharing her c-section experience.

C-SECTION AWARENESS MONTH 2021

C-SECTION AWARENESS MONTH

JACKIE’S STORY

I want to talk about the reason I never really went to any mummy-baby groups.
Why I avoided other new mums like the plague.

You know all those inappropriate questions other mothers ask, usually to compare your labour experience with their own? Those little bonding questions you ask new mothers…

“Is your fanny still intact?” “Did you shit when I pushed?” “Oh, you had a c-section? Thats ok then, at least you didn’t have to push it out.”

Yes, that was actually once said to me. Along with, “Oh, too posh to push eh?!” and “aw, at least you had the easy way out!”

And it hurt. It cuts something crazy deep to hear stuff like that.

I didn’t choose to have a c-section., and please don’t mistake this as a caesarean section bashing post, because it really isn’t. It’s just my frustrations about my own experience.

My labour experience was not physically horrific, but I am forever, emotionally scarred. The hardest part of my labour experience was not that I was 2 weeks overdue.

It wasn’t that everything I had planned went to pot, thats to be expected. I wasn’t allowed in the beautiful purple sparkly room with the amazing birthing pool, instead I had to be strapped to a bed with wires and shit hanging off me, that disgusting needle in my hand (which fucking KILLS by the way), in the most clinical, unfriendly looking room in the whole unit. You know when you’re shown round the delivery suite and you’re like, “oooh this rooms lovely” or “bloody hell this room is horrific” and naturally, you end up in the latter.

It wasn’t that the midwife on shift 1 told me I wasn’t allowed anything to eat, and that if I felt hungry, I wasn’t in proper labour yet. I’m pretty sure I’d have been able to gobble down some chocolate, regardless of what stage of labour I was in.

It wasn’t that the midwife on shift 2 completely misjudged how many cm’s dilated I was. She must have had the worlds skinniest fingers, to think 5-6 cm’s is anything like 1-2cm (which is what I actually was when senior midwife checked 12 hours later, oh, and the head wasn’t even fixated…).

It wasn’t that it took the staff 24 hours to realise that my waters had not properly broken, and in order to do so they had to stick a big stick up my fadge to pop them, thus making the contractions kick in, fast and furiously.

It wasn’t that after 50 something hours, after several 4 hour vaginal checks with multiple people giving it a good feel (having an epidural makes you a great candidate for student midwives to get a go at the icky stuff), we collectively came to the decision to slice this baby out of my belly. I vaguely remember telling my Gareth that I wanted a c section 12 hours previously, not really understanding the full ins and outs of what I was asking for. I just knew she wasn’t coming out of my foof, and I couldn’t do another 24 hours of come and go contractions.

The hardest part of my labour was not watching my purple coloured little monkey taken to the far side of the room and not laid on my chest straight away.

It wasn’t watching her be given to my partner and not me, that bit was actually pretty special, the look of raw emotion on his face will never leave me for as long as I live.

The hardest part of my experience wasn’t spending 24 hours in the most horrific ward, listening to the staff tell us that Gareth couldn’t stay past 10pm and I had to stay alone. With a brand new human.

It wasn’t the hardest part when I got told off by a student midwife for changing my baby’s nappy on my lap in the hospital bed. I cried, because I literally could not move, and there was nobody to help. Have you ever stayed in a post natal ward for longer than 12 hours? I felt like I was in a prison.

It wasn’t when the numbness in my legs and stomach wearing off and I had to walk to the shower and actually try and wash myself, and then having to ring the emergency cord because I’m pretty sure I was having a mild panic attack following the sight of copious amounts of bloody coming out of me, plus washing yourself after a c-section? Unaided? Not possible. It wasn’t that there was only 1 poor midwife, clearly rushed off her feet on discharge day, with a bunch of other families waiting to be discharged. A process that took 12 hours instead of 2.

It wasn’t when we finally got discharged and she decided that the first time she checked over our baby, something seemed wrong… So off she sauntered off down the corridor, into a room, where I could hear my baby girl screaming. I’ll never forget how sick and angry I felt at that moment.

The hardest part of my labour and the recovery weeks that followed wasn’t any of the above. I had given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. It’s the attitude of others, concerning c-sections. How insensitive peoples comments were whilst I was still recovering. Too posh to push?! Are you fucking serious? I didn’t fucking choose to not push her out like a champ. I didn’t sit there and think, ‘nah, I’ve had enough now, I’m tired, lets slice this one out’.

I had a failed labour induction, and I felt like I’d failed in every way imaginable. I felt like my boyfriend didn’t look at me like I was a superwoman. I’d read all these brilliant stories about the beautiful way in which fathers saw the mother of their children, after seeing them give birth, and I didn’t have that. Well, I thought I didn’t.

There is such a social stigma that surrounds c sections. You can’t escape judgement and ignorance. The fact that some people, still don’t see it as actually ‘giving birth’, which is absofuckinglutely ridiculous.

It fucks me off that everyone has to have an opinion, and that, between mums, its become a competition to see who had the hardest labour. Confuckingrats to you, you’re labour was physically and undeniably worse than mine. Did you get a trophy? A ‘best pusher’ prize? Oh, you got a baby? Me fucking too!!!

I apologise if I’ve come across as a bitter, sarcastic arsehole, but what I am slowly coming to terms with… Is that it really doesn’t matter how you got your baby. You gave birth, whether it came out of your foof, or your belly.

I shouldn’t be so angry at other mums who talk about their experience, as they probably feel some of the same feelings I do, and instead we should be bonding over this. I am able to do that now, listen to other stories, and not sit there thinking they’re judging me. People want to be heard. And I am a superwoman. I faced my biggest challenge, and I get cute little reminders of how amazing my body is, in the face of my stunning baby girl, and my war wound.”

Did you know April was c-section awareness month? 

YOU CAN FIND JACKIE ON;

INSTAGRAM: JACKIE RYDER

C-SECTION TIPS

Filed Under: BIRTH, HOME, PREGNANCY //

WRITTEN BY BECKY REED (GUEST WRITER)

I’m Becky from life.with.the.reeds on Instagram and I have a fair few c-section tips to share with you all!
I had an emergency c section in July 2019, suffered an AKI and was treated for sepsis. My birth story for the background – (https://reedlikenooneiswatching.wordpress.com/2020/09/06/becoming-mum-my-birth-story/?preview=true)
 
My regret is not researching more about C sections, the birth classes certainly advocate for vaginal births but not much is mentioned into “belly births” or how quick a straight forward delivery turns into an emergency C section.
The way I see it now, is you have got to do, what you have got to do. There is no gold star or trophy at the end for either. We are all just mums.

C-SECTION TIPS

C-SECTION TIPS

 

Take the pain meds.

I had paracetamol for my week-long stay in hospital and even a week once I was home. I wasn’t in sharp shooting pain as such, just a niggling droning pain – like a bruise but on the inside, I was however terrified about anything coming apart or getting infected.

Take the laxatives. 

Trust me, I didn’t do a normal poo for 3 weeks I was given iron tablets which funnily do the opposite of the laxative so didn’t feel comfortable going normally until the iron tablets were over with. The midwives will need to see you have regular movements and wee’s to remove the catheter after surgery.

Fragmin injections.

Blood clot preventers, they will give you these to take home too, so get someone to do them for you, my lucky hubby got the short straw. I am not comfortable with needles, less so after birth so there was no way I would have been able to stick these in me and admire anyone that does. I’m just a wimp!

Post-Partum Bleeding

The mother of all periods. Adult nappies became my friends. You are so prepared to change the baby’s nappy but not your own… Why is that?

Big pants.

The bigger the better. Head to Marks and Spencer as these pants will become your best friend. I bought “boy short” type pants for my birth bag, they were not suitable as the waistband sat right along the incision. My mum grabbed me a pack of granny pants and I have never looked back.

Pelvic floors

Yup – you still have to do those. Reminder – You are doing them right now too!

Compression Socks

I did not remove my compression stockings for two weeks (only off for showers). I was so worried about DVT and I was adamant I would not go back in the hospital.

All the pillows
Pillow to hold at your incision site, in case you sneeze, cough, laugh.

Pillows to prop you up at night or day. Your normal bed is the worst transition from the electronic hospital beds. Lying flat in bed hurts, anything to ease that transition is a must.

Time for rest

No housework. The midwife said not to exert or lift anything heavier than the baby. So, I listened and I healed. 6 weeks is a very long time, but I had good support around, where my mum did our ironing, hubby maintained household chores and I sat on the recliner, baby in my arms, keeping my fluids up and enjoying our bundle and trying to work out how to be a mum.

No driving 

I didn’t drive until our 6-week review. I didn’t want my insurance invalidated, plus if you emergency stop your seatbelt is not in the best place, so just don’t do it. I know some mums do, do this, but if you can avoid driving then certainly do that.

Cleaning

Now I had a strong hatred for my scar, so I refused to even look at it in the beginning. Hubby would clean it for me though, morning and night, this was done with warm boiled water, and a cotton bud or pad, going from one end to the other, we would then pat with a tissue and let air dry, which would just involve me propped up in bed, lifting my new mum tum for about 5 minutes. He would also look out for any red patches, heat or sounds gross, oozing because those are signs of infection. But we were all good.

Numbness
No one tells you about the patch of skin between your navel and scar will be entirely numb. I have asked and apparently, that’s normal, the sensation “might” come back. I have just gotten used to the loss.

We hope these c-section tips helped, especially if you are due to give birth soon. 

YOU CAN FIND BECKY ON;

INSTAGRAM: LIFE WITH THE REEDS

MENTAL HEALTH AND SUSTAINABILITY | EARTH DAY 2021

Filed Under: ECO LIVING, GUEST POST, HOME, SUSTAINABILITY //

WRITTEN BY JEN – ECOWANNABE (GUEST WRITER)

MENTAL HEALTH AND SUSTAINABILITY

Mindfulness, mental health, gratitude, contentment are all linked to sustainability.  You may ask why these terms are in the same sentence so let me start by briefly telling you my journey.  

I have suffered from anxiety and depression and the ongoing battle is with anxiety – always overthinking, worrying about what is happening next, what could happen, what’s on the “to do” list and struggling with just being present.   After seeking professional help in 2017, engaging in some talking therapies, being on medication and with the support from family and friends, I started my journey to recovery and trying to become a more evolved version of myself.    

The pandemic has been a challenging time for most of us – juggling work, children, and relationships with the absence of our usual support systems and outlets.  There have been moments that I have wished for things to go “back to normal” but was the normal life that I was used to something I wanted to return to?  The pressure to be at places for a certain time, the pressure of making sure the kids are socialising, learning, the pressure of ferrying children to and from after school clubs, tidying, cleaning etc.  There was always something on the to-do list and it felt incessant and non-stop.  

Without minimising how difficult lockdown has been, I have to admit it forced me to slow down and get off the hamster wheel of life.  The chance to be introspective was staring at me in the face – with nowhere to go, and nothing to do, I had to sit and just be.   In between the moments of apparent chaos with siblings squabbling, home schooling and worrying news about people affected by Covid, for some reason, I re-evaluated what was important; more and more I began to appreciate the simpler things in life and made a conscious decision to live more mindfully and sustainably, and just be grateful for what I had.  Due to my ongoing struggles with anxiety, I believe that my brain is wired to think the worst of any situation.  Therefore, I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy transition and needed daily practice and reinforcement.  

A mindful life meant taking time for reflection and meditation and just allowing space to be aware of our mind – our thoughts, beliefs and emotions.  For me, this meant making time in between the busyness of the day, whether it was 15 minutes in the morning to enjoy a hot drink, or taking an impromptu walk alone by the canal and taking in all of my surroundings.   I found that this routine was just as important for my attempt to live more sustainably as much as buying plastic free shampoo bars.  The more connected I was with myself, how I was feeling and my surroundings, the more connected I became with my children, my partner, and conscious of the choices I was making as a consumer.   

It sounds like a cliché but since becoming a parent, I have learnt a lot from my children.  I had never realised it until recently that my kids are in fact masters of mindfulness.  They are the ones who stop me to look a butterfly that had landed on a flower, they are the ones who notice the colours and shapes that a cloud make, and the sounds of birds chirping.  They don’t worry or care about the things that adults do – whilst I’m making a mental checklist of what has to be done in the house, I realised that I was missing the important moments, in just being present with them.  Although admittedly this can be a struggle when we are rushing to take children to school and you have asked said child to put their shoes on for the 100th time!  

Practising mindfulness does not mean that I have suddenly converted to being a patient parent.  I’m human and my children have seen the uglier side of when I have lost my patience, shouted or simply felt at boiling point when things have gotten too much.  Most often this happens when I haven’t taken the time to reconnect with how I’m feeling, and what I’m missing in that moment to ensure my “emotional cup” is filled.   The ways I’ve tried to do this is basically do more that feeds the soul and connecting with myself or others – whether this is phoning a family member, going for a walk with a friend, going for a walk, or taking up a new hobby  rather than clicking “buy now” to have that instant but short lived gratification.  As I said, living a busy life and trying to live mindfully is something that I need to actively practice, and this is reinforced by living in a more sustainable way, and in turn leads to an improvement in my overall wellbeing.  

Sustainability seems to be a buzz word around social media, but for me, it’s a choice to live more contently and being mindful of how you are living, and the impact of your actions on not just yourself, but on others and the environment.   This is coming from an ex-fast fashion addict, ex skincare addict, someone who frequently sought instant gratification from receiving new goods within 12 hours, buying needless items from a certain convenience shopping outlet (ahem Amazon), and simply always looking for more – the problem was that more was never enough.  Gratitude and mindful practice meant that I was constantly refocusing on what I did have, and in turn contentment naturally followed.  

Starting a sustainable living Instagram page was at first a way of journaling all the small changes I have made.  It has since evolved into a way for me to stay accountable for the conscious and mindful life I am choosing to live.  I follow people that I can relate to that can inspire, motivate and reinforce the messages that I need to practice on a daily basis.  I chose to purge myself of any accounts or email subscriptions that always made me feel something lacked in my life.  I chose to rid myself of toxicity whether it be what I drank, ate, watched, bought, or indeed people who were less than positive.  

It has meant an entire shift in my consciousness – an empathy towards my wellbeing, but also an understanding that my actions and choices have an impact.  An impact on the worker who is being paid pennies just so that I can have a cheap deal on an outfit I’ll never wear, an impact on the carbon emissions to the environment simply because I made a choice to buy something that was made in Kenya, as opposed to locally farmed produce.  I hope anyone who is reading this, does not think I am suggesting that the connection between mental health and sustainability is linear and one supersedes the other.  Instead, I am saying that all the factors are interlinked and your journey will look different from everyone else’s.   

Trying to live sustainably is that very thing – it is trying and is imperfect in every way.   Juggling sustainability with parenting, work, relationships, and self care is a challenge so I’m not going to kick myself due to the takeaway plastic ridden meal I bought, nor am I going to focus on what I’m not doing right.  Instead, I’m going to continue to be kinder to my mind and body, turn any anger or resentment into understanding, and if I can make an eco conscious choice along the way, then that is a bonus.  

YOU CAN FIND JEN ON;

INSTAGRAM: ECO WANNABE

WHY INDEPENDENT OUTDOOR PLAY IS IMPORTANT FOR DEVELOPMENT

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, PLAY //

WRITTEN BY SOPHIE WHITWORTH (GUEST WRITER)

INDEPENDENT OUTDOOR PLAY

INDEPENDENT OUTDOOR PLAY

Today we have the lovely Sophie sharing all about Independent outdoor play and why it is so beneficial for your child’s development, as well as different ways to encourage outdoor play

I have always loved spending time outside; I remember spending endless Summer days riding my bike around the local area with friends that lived on my road and family camping trips.  As a teenager, when all of my school friends were getting weekend jobs in clothes shops and cafes, I was knee deep in Horse muck earning my money mucking out stables and teaching young children to ride Ponies.  When I met my Husband, at University, we spent much of our holidays travelling and exploring the outdoors, from hiking in the Lake District to climbing Mount Kinbalu in Borneo.  I always knew that when I had children, I wanted them to love being outdoors as much as me, but I never really thought about how important it might be for their development.

I have three children, aged 8, 7 and 3 and love nothing more than sitting back and watching them together enjoying independent outdoor play, away from adult intervention.  However; it hasn’t always been like this and when I had my first daughter 8 years ago, I was very anxious.  Yes, I took her outside for walks in her pram and of course as she got older, I took her to the play park and to farm parks etc, but I don’t think I was ever intentional about the time we spent outdoors.  It wasn’t until sometime during the first period of lock down here in the UK that I realised how much time we spend all together as a family and that other than when the children are at school, we were pretty much all together all of the time.  I realised, also that we had fallen out of the habit of spending a lot of our time outdoors-Yes, I know we were in a lock down and not allowed out much at that time, but I think this is what made me start reflecting on our lives.  Any time my children were spending outside was either as part of an organised sports team or with me hovering around.  I thought back to my childhood in the 90’s and about how much time me and my siblings and friends spent playing outdoors, away from our parents and I decided that this is what I wanted for my children too.  I began to read around the subject and this is what I discovered.

During recent years we, as humans, have suffered from a disconnect from the natural world; in modern, industrial societies 90% of peoples time is spent indoors. However, our ancestors were deeply connected to their environments; relying on them for needs such as food, shelter and clothing. Since starting to domesticate and cultivate nature our societies have become increasingly urbanised and disconnected, with 77% of people now living in urban areas where they aren’t reliant on the ecosystem around them for their daily needs. Research suggests that a disconnection from nature is linked to both mental and physical health disorders such as; anxiety, depression, heart disease, fatigue and lowered life expectancy. Worryingly, Nature Deficit Disorder is now a recognised condition in children and has been shown to be a contributor to conditions such as; obesity, depression, ADHD and lowered cognitive ability. Having a child, myself, who finds it difficult to concentrate and struggles with anxiety, this really piqued my interest. Could spending more time outside, connecting with our surroundings help my daughter?

Through my reading I have discovered many developmental benefits for children who spend time engaged in outdoor, free play.  Unlike the indoor environment, where there are always rules that need to be followed, even when playing independently, the outdoors offers almost limitless potential for children to relax their minds.  A place where they can design, create and explore or just be quiet, calm and still.  Many studies have shown that when children have free play opportunities outdoors, they become better at problem solving.  The outdoors is, by its very nature, unpredictable and children will come across things that are unexpected whilst out playing; forcing them to constantly assess their environment and evaluate their risk.  By spending time learning how to navigate the changing terrains of the natural environment children become more confident and competent, they develop strength and resilience.  

Nature and being outdoors are calming for children, they offer respite from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and give them a chance unwind and recharge.  The colours that are found out in nature are often more subtle and gentle, compared to those found in the classroom, for instance; in this way they do not overstimulate Children.

Simply looking at nature, calms children-Angela Hanscom

Here are some suggestions that I have put together to help encourage your children (and you) with getting outside.

Pick Your Own:  Many farms and garden centres now offer a Pick Your Own experience, from a Pumpkin Patch in the Autumn, to berry picking in the Summer.  This is a great way to get the whole family outdoors and for them to learn about where some of their food come from.  There are also various types of Food Festivals and Farmers Markets that you can attend.  My local town hold a Farmers Market one Sunday of every month and my Parents town has a Food Festival every Summer (Covid allowing)!

Gardening:  Children love digging around in the dirt and getting messy.  If the space in your garden allows, try dedicating a set area for your children to “look after” and maintain.  Help them to plant some flowers or vegetables and then encourage them to look after them.  If you don’t have the space for this in your garden, why not give them a couple of pots on a patio or balcony to have as their own?

Star Gazing:  Pick a warm and clear Summer evening, take some blankets out into the garden and lay down together looking up at the stars.  My children love this as, firstly it probably means they are up past their bedtime and secondly, it usually ends up with us all telling and making up stories about the stars together.  Take a flask of hot chocolate out with you and turn it into a really memorable experience.

Play at the Beach:  The Beach is one of our favourite outdoor places to take the children.  They offer such a wide variety of play and sensory environments and opportunities; from pebbles to sand to water.  The Beach is also a great place, as long as its safe to do so, to just pick a spot to sit down and let your children run around and play by themselves-so don’t forget to take your book!

Get Climbing those Trees:  Tree climbing is a great way for children to begin independent risk assessment.  Often, at first, children won’t climb very high off the ground but as they begin to build their confidence and skills, they will start to venture higher.  Through practice they will learn what they are able to do and usually won’t put themselves in danger, but you may want to stay fairly close by for this activity-just in case!

Cook and Eat Outdoors:  Cooking over a campfire is such a fun and exciting experience for many children.  Get them involved with the food prep and the cooking and they will love the eating part.  If you’re not really feeling confident enough to cook a whole meal outdoors why not try toasting marshmallows or making S’mores?  The children will definitely love that.

Go Camping:  Children just love camping.  The thrill of sleeping outside is so exciting for them.  Camping gives children an opportunity to fully immerse themselves in nature for an extended period of time and become a little bit wild.  Let the children take some responsibility for helping put the tent up, cook over the camp stove and collect water from the tap. Go for it, you won’t regret the experience. 

So, I’ve shared some reasons as to why to get outside and some ideas as to what you could try outside, but what about my personal experience?  As I mentioned previously, my oldest daughter sometimes struggles with separation anxiety and concentration issues at school, she can also be quite highly strung with a fiery temper.  Over the last few months since being more intentional with the time my family spend outside and making a conscious decision to spend an extended period of time outdoors every day, I have definitely noticed a change in her.  She is sleeping better and at home her concentration levels for her homework and independent reading have improved.  Now this could just be a coincidence and she may have started to settle anyway, but I am sure that the time she is spending playing independently outdoors is having a positive impact on her and her wellbeing.

If you have found this interesting and you want to learn more, I would recommend these books to read:

How to Raise a Wild Child by Scott Sampson

Balanced and Barefoot by Angela Hanscom

Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv

We absolutely loved Sophie’s post on independent outdoor play and why it is so important. Do your little ones love independent outdoor play?

Sophie Whitworth

@sophieawhitworth

www.sophieawhitworth.com

MY BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY : THE STRUGGLES & SUCCESSES

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, MOTHERHOOD //

WRITTEN BY SEHER TAWFIK (GUEST WRITER)

BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY

My breastfeeding journey has been far from smooth.  My first had severe allergies: milk, nuts and egg would make her projectile vomit, swell up until she almost stopped breathing and her body was so swollen that I had to call the ambulance when she was six months old.  It meant I had to adjust my diet and the way I fed her.

It also meant that I had to fend off the pressure from some of my extended family to switch to formula, implying that there was something defunct about my milk; to ignore hostile remarks that hurt, slicing through me and cutting me up. To persevere when it would have been easy to give up. And I would have given up had I not reached out to a very loving and supportive group of women ‘The Boobie Buddies’. They became fast friends and I gained confidence in my ability to feed my child the way I needed to, and to stop getting overly concerned with the frequency with vomiting, the clicking noise she made as she gulped more air than she should.  I also learned how to adjust the way I fed her, holding her head at an angle to help her to inhale less air as she fed. Later, with the help of doctors, consultants, allergy and blood tests, I also learned that cutting out dairy, nuts and eggs from my diet helped her to digest my milk.   And now, at five, she is a very healthy child. And our bond is incredibly strong.

Feeding a baby with tongue-tie

The challenge to feed my son was different: he was born with a tongue-tie which was an extreme form of ankyloglossia. But the midwife dismissed it, proclaiming that hers hadn’t stopped her in life. An unhelpful comment, I realised much later… 

I was told that if the baby continued to gain weight, the tongue tie didn’t need to be addressed- unhelpful advice, but naively, the advice I followed. 

I fed my child around the clock, sometimes every 15 minutes because he wouldn’t feed properly, his gums a vice cutting into my nipples, the Lansinoh nipple cream offering little comfort. I would take a deep breath before feeding, plucking up the courage not to cry, biting my lip and mouthing the words: Don’t be weak. Your baby needs you. Work through the pain. 

I continued this way, trying not to get deflated and depressed when he would choke on my milk. Because of my fast let down, he struggled to keep up with my fast flow, the milk gushing and sometimes splashing his face, occasionally vomiting what seemed like the entire contents of his feed, drenching his clothes and mine. I persevered until I thought: I need some help.

So I reached out to a private clinician who helped with breastfeeding and dealt with tongue-tied babies.  My son was 10 weeks old and after a quick examination in which she told me how severe his was, I cried ugly, profuse tears because I had listened to the midwife and mother-in-law and they had been so wrong. I remember telling her between sobs: just snip it. 

The baby was horrified; for a few days thereafter, he didn’t trust me, and questioned me when I lowered his little body to my breast. But it passed, and the pain associated with feeding vanished and I felt better. I told no one about my decision except my mother and immediate family. They understood that it was MY breastfeeding journey that mattered, and no one knew better than I did what I needed to do for my son. To date, I have never told my mother-in-law (and have learned that some things are really none of her business). 

An advocate for breastfeeding

Looking back, if you’d told me that I would be an advocate for breastfeeding, I would have scoffed in your face. Loudly. Prior to becoming a mum, I had never considered breastfeeding, convinced that all babies thrived on formula and bottled milk, as formula is replete with so much goodness and the most important thing is that a baby is fed, satiated and grows, regardless of whether it is breastmilk or formula that nourishes it. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and the main thing is that you do what works for you.

But for me, once I had my daughter, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed.  

I learned about the incredible benefits of breastmilk and our body’s ability to churn out liquid gold that adapts in temperature and antibodies based on a baby’s needs, a never-ending supply always at the ready to quench a hungry babe, distract a terrible tantrum and soothe the most distressed babe. I am who they turn to – they seek out my bosom before they seek solace anywhere else. My son will always place his little hand over one breast, playfully squeezing my nipple as he feeds, because it gives him comfort and it is natural. 

The initial suckle of a newborn as they latch onto the nipple, instinctively knowing what to do, is incredible to witness.  Their tiny tongues, undulating like waves, as they suck up colostrum, a mother’s initial milk, is remarkable.  This liquid gold helps combat obesity and diabetes in a child’s later life and it also helps the mother too:  it reduces your chance of lifelong heart disease, and type 2 diabetes whilst also enabling you to bond with your child, lose weight, and helping your uterus to shrink more quickly to its former size. The benefits are undeniable, besides it being a much cheaper alternative. It is, as Medela suggests, ‘the ultimate convenience food’.

Fast forward to this day, and I continue to feed my son on demand- more at weekends and when poorly. I only really pumped for a few months when I first returned to work when he was 8 months old, but he only really fed from me, rejecting the bottled breastmilk, much to my utter dismay (as pumping in itself was a challenge). 

If you were to ask me if I’d do it all again, the answer is undeniably yes, because it has been one of the best things that I have done for my kids. 

 YOU CAN FIND SEHER ON;

INSTAGRAM : A MOTHER BLOGS

WHY IT IS OKAY TO WANT MORE CHILDREN

Filed Under: GUEST POST, MOTHERHOOD //

WRITTEN BY KELLY POPHAM (GUEST WRITER)

MORE CHILDREN

WHY IT IS OKAY TO WANT MORE CHILDREN

I have always wanted a big family, both Mike and I are one of four children and so we are used to a busy full house. I always imagined having three children, granted I think after now having one I’m not sure three are on the cards, however I really want Isaac to have a little sister or brother eventually. 

I will be honest, the thought of trying for another baby fills me with anxiety, which is the opposite of what you want when trying for a baby. It took us almost two years to get pregnant the first time and it took a huge toll on my mental health and relationship. It was months and months of heartache and disappointment and I don’t know if I could go through all that again. I think because it took so long I just don’t see a situation where it happens quickly for us, so I’m going into it assuming the worst, which makes it really hard to see it as a positive experience. 

In addition to worrying it won’t happen, I also have this constant feeling like I don’t have the right to be sad if I can’t get pregnant again, that I am so lucky to have one child when so many don’t that I don’t get to be selfish and be upset that we can’t have another one. This weighs on me a lot and I think it’s probably the same for many other women out there. I have thought about this a lot recently and it’s made me realise the following:

  • It is my right to have as many children as I choose – The choice of how many children we have is down to us, we get to decide how many is right for us, if it is possible to have them. Every woman and couple has the right to make the choice and shouldn’t be made to feel bad if she wants more than one child.

 

  • I have the right to be sad – I have heard so many people say ‘oh well you have one child’, or ‘oh well at least you know you can get pregnant’. Whilst those statements are true, they honestly can be hurtful and they don’t take away the pain of someone who is desperately trying for another baby but isn’t getting pregnant.  So many people struggle with infertility, even if they got pregnant quickly the first time there is no guarantee that it will happen that way again. You never know what someone has been through, or will go through. 

 

  • It does not take away how grateful I am – because I am so grateful to have Isaac. It also doesn’t take away the love I have for my child. I longed and wished for him for so long. I think because of how much I longed for him, I know what it feels like to want something so much and have no control over whether it will happen that I know how much I want a second child. I am willing to potentially go through that all over again to have another child. That doesn’t take anything away from Isaac, I think it just shows how much it means to me to have two. 

 

  • My feelings are valid – Everyone has an idea of what they would like their life to be, what job they want, what they would like their family to look like, that is your right. If you see lots of children in your life that’s ok and therefore it is ok to feel sad, angry and disappointed if it doesn’t happen.  No one has the right to tell you how to feel, trying for a baby can be heartbreaking and brutal for some women and already having a child doesn’t take away the pain and sadness that can come from trying to conceive. 

 

So if you are going through a similar situation and struggling, know that it’s ok to feel whatever you want and need to feel. You are going through this no one else and they don’t get to judge.

YOU CAN FIND KELLY ON;

INSTAGRAM: KELLY AND A LITTLE ONE

TRAUMATIC BIRTH IN A PANDEMIC

Filed Under: BIRTH, BIRTH TRAUMA, GUEST POST, HOME //

WRITTEN BY SAMANTHA WHITTALL

TRAUMATIC BIRTH IN A PANDEMIC

Samantha is sharing her (trigger warning) *traumatic birth in a pandemic, story with us. There is a huge stigma around birth & not every experience is a positive one! 

I wanted to tell my story as we sometimes underestimate how strong we are as women.
So I conceived before the pandemic but carried and gave birth during the pandemic.
My journey starts with my first trimester where I was always throwing up, everyone around me except my partner kept saying its morning sickness it will go but it didn’t, to the point where I couldn’t eat anything and had to go to the doctors where she signed me off work for a couple of weeks and gave me meds so I could at least eat, my second trimester was better and then I got into my third trimester where I started swelling up and couldn’t walk far without getting breathless and didn’t really have any energy I would spend most of my day sleeping.

TRAUMATIC BIRTH IN A PANDEMIC

So I was at my last scan my feet were swollen which I was told later was a warning sign and the midwife even commented on it but wasn’t concerned but when they did the scan they said that melody had dropped of the growth and I needed to go into be induced, I was all booked in for that at 39+5 but when I was 38+4 16th August I woke up threw up and felt like I had bricks on my chest but still insisted we went to see my partners parents as they were part of my bubble at the time and I’m so glad we did as when we got there my partners mum said she doesn’t look good but we just thought it was normal because of how my pregnancy had been but she insisted I called the midwife department so I did I explained everything and she said I’m not worried about the throwing up but if your feeling bad about your chest you should just go to your local A&E.
I wouldn’t of normally bothered but something just told me that we should go anyway so we went and got a lady who had just come of maternity leave (what are the chances) she took one look at me and got angry at the lady I had been on the phone with as she explained I should of been told to go straight to the bigger hospital that can deal with pregnancy as they don’t have a maternity ward, she took me into the back, did an EKG and spoke to another doctor I was then told I was going to the bigger hospital and had to have a cannula put in so i’m glad my partner was allowed in with me because I don’t think I would of done it otherwise (side note I struggled giving blood as I fear it and I hated having this done too) so that went in my left arm then after the tears and fear of having that one put in they then get a message from the bigger hospital saying they wanted a pink cannula put in and guess what I had a green one in so they then put a pink one in my right hand and left the green one in just in case.
So I go to the bigger hospital and they do a Covid test on me and I’m put in a room without my partner, the lady then comes in I haven’t been told what’s wrong only that I’m being induced today so they shove a hormone pill in my cervix (not sure if she said behind it or not) so already freaking out because I don’t know what’s wrong, I haven’t got my partner and I’ve just had the induction started. Then I’m not sure when or why but I was taken up to the delivery suite which is when my partner was allowed to come in (so thankful for that) when I got up there I was hooked up to the hormone drip and that is no joke when that goes in the contraction come fast and painful which I read about after. The midwife finally told me all this was happening because I had pre-eclampsia, so as the hormones are coming and the contractions are horrendous and feels like she’s trying to come out my bum (such a weird feeling) she wasn’t reacting well to the stress of the hormone her heartbeat dropped every time the hormone went in, at some point they then broke my waters which was a whole other experience it felt like internal deep cat scratches.
I then spent hours in agony with the contraction and fully taking advantage of the gas and air so they decided the epidural was the way to go, I was bricking it and of course I ended up with the doctor that can’t read the situation I had the epidural done and the second it was done he said ” I don’t think I’ve done this one right so might have to do again and blood is coming back into the line” (don’t say stuff like that to someone who is a nervous wreck) so we tried with the first epidural and it hardly did anything and I was pushing that button and maxing out that epidural and I still felt everything so then another doctor came in and did a SECOND one telling me the first one had a kink in it. This one I got a little relief but could still feel the contraction even with maxing that one out too I was asked to vocalise every time I felt one (definitely didn’t disappoint with vocalising that)  hours had past and its a bit blurry with timing of everything that happened but I remember them checking and I had only got to 3cm all that and only 3cm.
Melody’s heartbeat still kept dropping every time the hormone went in and I had been doing this for a whole day then someone came in and was really rough with my down below/ cervix and I remember crying to partner saying she hurt me and I don’t want her touching me again (thankfully I didn’t see her again) then a female doctor came in and wanted to take a sample of melody so a cry later I was huffing on the gas and air while they stretched me to get to melody so they could get some blood.
I was still on the hormone drip and having horrendous contraction when the decision was then made sometime in the morning (so I had gone from the afternoon of 16th to the morning of the 18th with no sleep) that I was going in for an emergency c-section. I had a catheter put in and wheeled into the theatre they said they were going to do the spinal block but my partner wasn’t there and I remember freaking out but the really nice assistant said “we don’t usually let the partners in for the spinal block because they either faint or don’t take it well” but my partner was allowed in and they did the spinal block, they then waited and tested it with cold spray which i’m glad they did as left side of me wasn’t numb but the right side was.
I was actually scared they would still go ahead and it a weird feeling to have a contraction only down half your body so I was put up again and they upped the amount in the spinal block and my partner was told to keep me awake (again very hard with recollection due to drugs) I remember him telling me to stay awake and I needed to keep my eyes open, all I wanted to do was sleep so badly I remember closing my eyes then all of a sudden my baby was in my partners hands with a cone head and absolutely beautiful, I remember I kept rubbing my eyes to wake myself from the drugs and push through them because I wanted to see my baby.
I had a peco dressing put on my c-section then after that I was in after care for 3 days that was horrible only seeing my partner for an hour and the staff really wasn’t the best and was only told after I got out and was with my doctor that my liver function wasn’t where it should be and I had high blood pressure  so was on tablets for them and my partner had to jab me everyday for 10 days and had to look out for jaundice I am also suffering with gallstones and going through the process of trying to get them sorted.
But I have a happy healthy 7 month girl and would go though it again just to have her and that in itself shows how strong we women are.
Thank you so much to Samantha for sharing her traumatic birth in a pandemic with us. 

YOU CAN FIND SAMANTHA ON;

INSTAGRAM: SAMANTHA ROSE SHARP

YOU’RE MORE THAN JUST A MUM

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, MOTHERHOOD //

WRITTEN BY CLAIRE MAC (GUEST WRITER)MORE THAN JUST A MUM

 

Feeling like you’re just a mum is something that seems to hit all of us at some point on our motherhood journey. The feeling has a negative impact, resulting in a mass amount of mum guilt, self-doubt and feeling as though you’ve lost yourself. I actually hate the term ‘just a mum’, I think it’s one that should be banned & never at all said again but unfortunately, I can’t really get around it for this article.

Today I’m going to be delving into the emotions that come with feeling like you’re just a mum, how they arise and why we feel so negatively about them.

And most importantly I’m going to be telling you why you’re more than just a mum! You were someone before you became their mum, you’re still someone now.

Why do you feel like you’re just a mum?

  • Loss of identity.

It sounds dramatic, but I felt like I had to mourn my pre-baby self as the loss of my identity was so impactful. It’s something I really didn’t expect. As mums, we fall into a monotonous routine and our lives become dictated by our children. We lose our identities and unfortunately no longer feel like ourselves. Because of this we easily get stuck in a rut & feel like we’re just mums.

  • You slow down, but become busier.

A day in the life of a new mum is a repetitive one. Our babies run like clockwork in the sense that they need feeding every three hours, with naps in between and copious amounts of changing as and when. Everything feels so regimented. We slow down because we’re doing the same tasks, but we become busier because it’s an around the clock job.

  • You become restricted.

As dramatic as it sounds you can no longer live your life the way you used to pre-motherhood. Everything we do feels somewhat restricted by our children, whether it’s revolving our day around their nap time or now having to leave the house with five different bags. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we can’t be the pre-mum people we used to be.

  • You take second place.

You’re no longer a priority. I’m sorry, but it’s true (you knew that anyway though, right?). We take second place to our babies as they become our priorities leaving us behind, feeling like we’re just a mum. It needs to happen; Our babies need to be our priorities, but there’s no doubting that us taking second place definitely affects the way we view ourselves.

  • You’re no longer working

Whether you’re a career girl or not, working becomes a huge part of our lives. Heck, sometimes we’re at work more than we are at home, so when we’re not working it sadly feels as though we don’t quite have that purpose we once used to.

How you can feel like more than just a mum.

  • Connect with old friends.

I bet you’re not as social as you once were, right? I’m absolutely the same! My child has become my priority, which of course my friends understand, but I think it’s important to not lose connections. A colleague of mine suggested setting a reminder on my phone every Sunday evening to send out a couple of Whatsapp messages to my friends, just to check in and see how their week has been. It’s beneficial for all parties, both yourselves and your friends. Set yourself that reminder! You won’t regret it.

  • Start a new hobby.

I already know what you’re thinking. You’re a busy mum, how on Earth are you going to find the time to start a new hobby. I’m not saying you have to start painting the Mona Lisa, what I’m suggesting is taking ten minutes out of your day to read a couple of pages from your book, get stuck into a crossword puzzle. Paint the Mona Lisa if you like? Just take a few moments to do something that’s purely for you.

  • Stop the comparison game.

One of the reasons for feeling like we’re just a mum, is that our brains are constantly in parent mode. We see our child’s development and compare it to other children, even though we know it’s the worst thing in the world. Stopping the comparison game can be so, so difficult, but once you’ve achieved it, it’s so beneficial.

  • Take time out.

You’re a mum 24 hours of the day, 7 days a week, so having time away from your child to yourself doesn’t make you any less of a parent. You shouldn’t feel guilty about filling your cup back up. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so take care of yourself, take some time out for yourself & give mum guilt the middle finger. You might even parent better because of it.

  • Ask for help

Asking for help is something I still struggle so much with now, even two years since having my little girl. If you have the privilege of having a good support network around you, utilise them! Yes our children are ours, but they’re also somebody’s grandchild, niece, nephew or godchild. I bet your support network will enjoy having your child for an hour just as much as you’d enjoy the break. And breaks are good! We shouldn’t feel guilty about having them.

 

If this article has helped you at all in any way, even if it’s just got you thinking about yourself a little differently I’d love to hear from you. Slide into my DM’s at @clairemacblog & tell me why you’re more than just a mum.

10 Lockdown Activities To Inspire Creativity

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE //

[This Article Is A Paid For Post]

It is safe to say that the past 12 months I have been seriously up and down with my creative mood. It has been so hard to find my mojo so we thought we would share 10 things you can do at home to inspire creativity.

ACTIVITIES TO INSPIRE CREATIVITY

INSPIRE CREATIVITY

DANCE IT OUT

Put on your favourite playlist OR create your own, and have a dance. Nothing too Strictly, just enjoy yourself and shake it off!

GET ACTIVE

Sign up for a fun dance class online (that ties in nicely with the first idea) or go for a walk with a friend!

COLOURING

Now I know what you’re thinking… “colouring, really?!”.. but YES. They sell adult colouring books for a reason and personally I bloody love them. Just let your mind wander.

UPCYCLE A PIECE OF FURNITURE

One I am yet to attempt myself but I have seen some amazing creations throughout the past year. It is crazy what a lick of paint and a glue gun can do!

PRACTICE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY

I hate being in one of those moods where I KNOW I need to get some photos taken but seriously lack inspiration, and i’ve found the best way to get over it? Is to actually get snapping! Once i’ve taken the first two or three images, that’s it! I am on a roll.

MEDITATE

Take five minutes at the beginning of the day, to practice some mindfulness. It will start your day off perfectly. This is something I definitely need to do more often.

DIGITAL ART

As part of TMC we do a lot of creative things online, whether it is designing story templates or coming up with fun images for our main feed, so it is really important that we are feeling creative! We love the creative side of our job but there are definitely times when we lack inspiration. To make your job easier, we highly recommend this font bundles free fonts, we always find fab fonts hard to come by!

TRY OUT A NEW RECIPE

I am a bugger for saying that I am going to make something new for a meal, and then never seem to get round to it! I absolutely love trying new foods and it is really important that the kids are always tasting new & exciting foods too.

START A JOURNAL

I started a bullet journal at the beginning of this year to track my reading & keep organised with TMC and it is the best thing i’ve done! I absolutely love setting out my monthly spreads and any excuse to buy cute washi tape…..

READ A BOOK

Nothing inspires me like reading a book, especially a favourite! I love to re-read a book when I am feeling unmotivated and uninspired!

We hope these ideas helped and that you find a way to inspire creativity! What do you do to feel creative?