That Mama Club

THE BEST PANCAKE RECIPES TO TRY

Filed Under: FAMILY RECIPES, FOOD, HOME //

PANCAKE RECIPES

I think it is safe to say that we don’t have much to look forward to this year but one thing we DO have, is Pancake Day. I’m not over exaggerating when I say it is one of our favourite days of the year. We thought we would share our favourite pancake recipes that are all tried & tested (and bloody delicious!!).

PANCAKE RECIPES

 

EASY FLUFFY AMERICAN PANCAKES BY DELS COOKING TWIST

PANCAKE RECIPES

 

IMAGE & RECIPE FOUND HERE

You can’t go wrong with a super easy & quick American pancake recipe – they are super fluffy & light! I love how versatile these can be and lets be honest, these are definitely a weekly breakfast in our house.

SIMPLE VEGAN PANCAKES – NORA COOKS

PANCAKE RECIPES

 

IMAGE & RECIPE FOUND HERE

We know quite a few of you are vegan & these pancakes are perfect for you! Made with just 6 ingredients and you only need to use one bowl!!!! It’s win win, delicious pancakes & hardly any washing up. Perfect.

LEMON PANCAKES – JUST SO TASTY

 

IMAGE & RECIPE FOUND HERE

Possibly my favourite…. i’m a sucker for anything citrus!!!! These are extra fluffy & delicious, using both fresh lemon juice & zest, so good!!! Perfect served with some vanilla ice cream and fresh berries. Okay, now i’m craving pancakes again…..

BANANA PANCAKES – THE WORKING BOAT

PANCAKE RECIPES

 

PHOTO & RECIPE FOUND HERE

Sweet pancakes are my favourite, fruit is my go to topping (along with Nutella, let’s not be crazy now!) and these banana pancakes are EXCELLENT. They are also a hit with the littles! Remember the banana bread craze of lockdown 1.0, well we think this is an upgrade.

CINNAMON ROLL PANCAKES – LIL LUNA

 

IMAGE & RECIPE FOUND HERE

I’m sorry but how fucking good do these look?!!!! I’m not going to lie, mine looked nothing like this – because Mary Berry I aint, but they tasted SO GOOD. These are the perfect pancakes if you want a really indulgent pancake, and who doesn’t want that?! Pancake Day is only once a year people!!!!!

 

 

 

 

LOCKDOWN SLEEP TIPS | GUEST POST

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, LIFE, MOTHERHOOD //

BY HANNAH CLAPHAM (GUEST WRITER)

LOCKDOWN SLEEP TIPS

LOCKDOWN SLEEP TIPS

As a sleep coach I have seen a significant rise in sleep problems for little people with each lockdown that comes around. January 2021 seems to be a crisis point for a lot of families in terms of sleep and it’s no mystery why. Home schooling. Lack of extended family and close friends around. Working from home whilst juggling childcare. Nurseries closing. Quarantining due to illness or exposure to Covid. Here are some of my lockdown sleep tips. 

Parents are burnt out and worried about money, work and wellbeing. Routines have gone out the window for lots of us. Loved ones may be poorly or vulnerable right now. And none of us saw this coming, or thought it would go on this long. 

So first of all, give yourself a break. I read something by parenting guru Sarah Ockwell-Smith recently that said she didn’t use the phrase self-care – it has become too much of another chore or thing on the to-do list. Instead she talks about self-kindness. That doesn’t mean lighting a scented candle or wearing a facemask in the bath, it’s not about posting an inspirational quote on Instagram or going anywhere specific. It’s about treating yourself with kindness throughout your day regardless of what you’re doing. This really resonated with me and is something I am trying to practise even when I’m in the midst of the most tedious of parenting tasks.

Sleep matters. We know this and yet even before the pandemic the whole world has been in the grips of a massive sleep deprivation epidemic. Whether you’re a parent or not, even if your little one is sleeping soundly through the night, the odds are you are not getting enough sleep and this needs to change. 

So what can we do? 

If you have a baby or toddler the following things have been proved to improve sleep quality and duration:

  • Lots of exposure to daylight, especially in the afternoon. If you can’t leave the house due to shielding, open those windows!
  • Have a loose daily rhythm which means you wake, sleep and eat meals at roughly the same times each day. For babies not yet on solids, milk feeds don’t need to be on a schedule – in fact it’s recommended that you should always feed responsively whether on bottle or boob. Milk schedules won’t help sleep, in fact they can make night-time sleep even worse if the baby isn’t getting enough calories during the day!

  • It doesn’t matter where your baby sleeps – pram, crib, sling or in your arms – the important thing is that they are napping regularly at age-appropriate intervals.

  • If you’re not getting out and about a lot at the moment, rough play and silly time with your kids is good for everyone’s mental and physical health. Exercise is really important for sleep but if you can’t bring yourself to do a full workout right now, wrestling a small person is just as good for getting your heartrate up and endorphins going.

  • Extra cuddles, shared baths and skin-to-skin will help your baby feel calm and secure in these troubled times, and will be a delicious boost of oxytocin for knackered parents. Littlies can’t regulate their own emotions (that is a skill that we fully develop by about the age of 25!) so instead they process their emotions by co-regulating with their caregivers.

  • Make some tweaks to where your baby sleeps – is their sleep space dark enough? Could consistent white noise help soothe them and block out background sounds? Don’t make the room too hot either, babies like to sleep in cooler spaces.

  • If bedtime has become a bit crazy with a hyperactive little person, try some rough play to get rid of their energy, followed by a clear marker that wind-down time has started. This could be going to their bedroom where it’s calm and dimly lit. The end of bath-time might signify that calm time has started. You could even play soothing music. The key thing is to draw a line and make it clear that bedtime has begun. Stay calm and make this part of your day all about bonding and closeness. Activities like sitting together and reading a flap book or playing with a toy that is particularly tactile helps focus busy brains. Toys like stacking blocks or an activity like threading pipe cleaner through a colander can work wonders when they are combined with a cuddle. 

And finally, some sleep tips for you:

  • Switch off your phone after about 9pm. I know, I know, we all love a good scroll and it’s the only time of day you can use your phone without feeling guilty or being distracted. But that blue light is going to make sleep harder for you. So try cutting back and keeping your eyes phone-free for about an hour or ideally two before you go to sleep.

  • Have a cut off point for news and social media. Boundaries can feel weird to implement but oh so good once they are in place.

  • Make sure you’re getting enough iron, magnesium and vitamin D – supplements can help if cooking is a bit of a nightmare right now.

  • Breathe. Unclench your jaw. Lower those shoulders. Keep being kind to yourself. Notice where you are holding that tension in your body and stretch it out.

  • Rant. Talk. Record yourself a voice note if there isn’t anyone appropriate to chat to right now. Get it out of your head onto paper or WhatsApp or anywhere that isn’t your own overloaded brain.

  • I’m not saying go teetotal if that’s not your vibe, but be mindful of whether that wine or gin in the evening is helping or hindering your overall mood. Could you cut back or have a few nights off? The difference to sleep after a week or two booze-free can be astounding!

  • Keep a gratitude list on your phone. Even if that list is just ‘biscuits and Bridgerton’ that’s fine, appreciation for the big stuff can come later.

  • All of the sleep tips for little people work for big people too – daylight, routine, exercise, cuddles, winding down, reading books – they are oldies but goodies!

I hope you found this post useful & that you enjoyed Hannah’s lockdown sleep tips!

LOCKDOWN SLEEP TIPS

YOU CAN FIND HANNAH ON;

INSTAGRAM : LITTLE NEST SLEEP

WEBSITE: LITTLE NEST

 

THE BLENDED MOTHER | GUEST POST

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, LIFE, MOTHERHOOD //

BY FAYE MACKAY (GUEST WRITER)

BLENDED MOTHER

From Control Freak to Blended Mother. My first step mum thunderbolt hit me like a freight train. Those of you that are part of a blended family will have had it at some point. The moment that it hits you and all of a sudden, you realise what you’re signing up to. It could be anything that prompts it… your step daughter using your favourite lipstick to colour in your “white” handbag. Your stepson delightedly announcing that he’s just done “a massive poo” and please can you come and wipe his bottom. If they’re older, maybe just ongoing reminders that you aren’t their parent and “can’t tell them what to do” – it’s so rewarding!

 

There’s no gentle introduction to “stepping”. Becoming a parent knocks you for six, but becoming a step parent is a different world altogether. 

BLENDED MOTHER

For me, it was a breakfast tantrum, and was particularly poignant because of the feeling of complete lack of control that accompanied it.  A lifetime dedicated to unachievable perfectionism, compounded by a decade working in live events, resulted in routine and order being my comfort zones, and I clung to them like a koala to  tree. When I first met Henry, he was three and I had basically no experience whatsoever with children. I was working blind, reading every article in existence on how to navigate the murky waters of stepping and praying that it wasn’t as blindingly obvious to everyone else as it was to me that I didn’t have a bloody clue what I was doing.

 

Mark was running late for work, and asked if I’d give Henry his breakfast that morning. It was the first time that we’d been left to do anything alone, without biological parent supervision. How hard could it be, right? I’d seen Mark give the little one meals a million times. “We’ve got this kid”, I thought and set about trying to figure out what to give him to eat. Golden rule number one – DO NOT let children look in the cupboards to decide what they want to have. It only ends in tears and ongoing explanations as to why quavers are not a suitable breakfast food. Quickly closing the cupboard door, I offered toast. “No!”, “Cereal?”, “No!”, “errr yoghurt?” They were really more rice puddings than yogurt, but at this point I’d have given him an entire box of pop tarts to stop the scene that was fast unravelling from collapsing around my ears. “NO!” Game over, tantrum ensued. “I WANT SOMETHING ROUND!!” he shouted between sobs and snot.

 

Something round? What the hell is going on??? Is this normal? How do I deal with this? There isn’t anything that’s sodding-well round! I thought, frantically rifling through the bread bin. I searched the archives of my brain for anything that I’d read that would come to my aid in neutralising the screaming little gremlin, but I came up blank. Nothing.

 

Then, in a Blue Peter moment I had it and ten minutes later, he was happily munching away on toast that had been cunningly cut into circles, while I collapsed into a cup of coffee wondering if I could do it. What if he and I don’t get along? What if I totally suck at being a step mum? What if he decides he hates me and runs away at nine years old to join the circus?!

 

Three years on, and the niggling voice of self-doubt has quietened down somewhat, making occasional reappearances to slap me around the face as I dare to relax into the day to day, and remind me that stepping presents an ongoing and ever-changing set of challenges. Don’t get too comfortable Faye!!! You have to dig deep and employ some solid resilience with this stuff.

 

Henry and I have had our ups and downs over the last few years for sure. I won’t lie, some weeks were just utter shit – I considered throwing the towel in more than once. But, what has gone along with the tough bits are some great times too. Our relationship has come a long way – we bake, run, read and watch films together these days rather than just exist alongside in the same space. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t the flipping Walton’s, we butt heads just like everyone else.

I’m sure that the teenage years will be interesting!! But, in the end I realised that Henry didn’t want a perfect step mum, who had all the answers and got everything right all of the time. He wanted me to spend time with him, to be interested in what he was doing and encourage him when he felt unsure. I learned to turn towards him when he was doing the frustrating stuff that all kids do, rather than away. To meet anger with a kind, but firm word and a hug and, most importantly, to lean on my partner when I started to struggle. He never expected me to be perfect either as it turned out, that all came from me.

We hope you enjoyed Faye’s guest post on being a blended mother and what it is really like to be a step parent. Are you a step parent?

BLENDED MOTHER

YOU CAN FIND FAYE ON;

INSTAGRAM: THE BLENDED MOTHER

EASY WAYS TO SURVIVE HOME LEARNING : A TEACHER’S GUIDE

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, HOMESCHOOLING //

BY HANNAH RIX (GUEST POST)

SURVIVE HOME LEARNING

 The past 10 months has felt like the worst version of the Hokey Cokey EVER, hasn’t it? I’m not going to remind you of the details, but I’d love to give you a tool kit to help survive this next stint of home-schooling hell (well, try to anyway).  Here are some of my top tips on how to survive home learning, for parents of one child, multiple children, children with SEND, with a bit of learning and literacy thrown in for good measure:

 

  1. Incorporate chores into a daily routine to earn tokens/stickers/merits towards a reward – all you need to do is draw up a chart (even better get your child to do it) with each job and a monetary/reward value (for example, emptying the dishwasher could be 5 tokens). Keep a tally on how much each child has earned in a day and they can ‘spend’ their tokens on a reward (for example, to earn iPad time you need 20 tokens).

 2. Keep your ‘living space’ and ‘learning space’ separate – it’s so hard to do this with limited space (myself and my husband had to do it in a 1 bed flat with only 3 rooms) but even if it means sectioning off the dinner table as ‘learning space’, it leaves your sofa and as ‘living space’. This will be extremely helpful for you and your children’s mental health when it comes to switching off. Make sure you keep all things associated with ‘learning’ away from your ‘living space’ so the boundaries are clear to you and them.

3. Learning buckets or baskets – home learning is resource heavy, especially if you have children at multiple stages. Organising their resources, books and pens into separate bins, wallets, whatever storage container you have available, will stop any confusion or squabbles. It’s also a great way for your child to visualise what learning has to be completed that day. Once the bucket is clear, they’re done! Yay!

4. Come up with a family contract – I do this with my new classes at the beginning of every school year. We set ground rules for respect and personal responsibility. Get everyone to sign it and put it on display. Make it clear what the consequences are if anyone breaches their contract. You’ll need this to ensure you can have at least one hot cup of coffee a day!

5. Snack sacks – you know the drill, the second your child’s bored, they want something to eat. To subside the constant badgering for snacks, organise their daily snacks into lunch bags or boxes. This way they can see what their ‘daily allowance’ is. If they want to eat them all before 9am, let them! They’ll quickly learn self-discipline and responsibility when that 4pm hunger kicks in and there’s no biscuit to scoff.

6. Create your own daily timetable – this is a little trickier if you have children that’re logging onto the dreaded Google classroom every day. But if you’ve got younger children, organising their schedule will give them a sense of control over the day and be aware of the routine.

7. Invest in whiteboard pens for writing practice on windows – cleaners, don’t come for me! As long as you use a dry erase marker and tape up the edges and ledges of your windows, let your little ones write away! This saves endless pieces of paper ending up in the recycling and also makes writing fun and a little mischievous for your little ones.

8. Be honest with your children and their teachers – this is an impossibly hard situation for all parents. Most of you are juggling a full-time job, housework, cooking and home-schooling. Give yourselves a break when it doesn’t go to plan. And tell your kids about how you’re feeling and ask how they’re feeling too. As an SEND teacher, I’m constantly worrying about my parents. Luckily my students are still attending school but it’s still a strain on them. Approach your children’s teacher or school and ask for help if you need it. We’re here to help support you AND your child.

 

Know that everything you’re doing is phenomenal. You’re all heroes. Fighting a daily battle of will and patience. 

 

Remind ourselves every single day that our children will regard this time as ‘the period when my parents were absolute champions’.

 

“Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees; The further sky, the greater length; The more the storm, the more the strength.” – Tom Brady

We hope you enjoyed Hannah’s post on how to survive home learning!

 

Readingmate Website (with blogs and videos from Hannah)

https://readingmate.co.uk

 

YOU CAN FIND HANNAH ON;

Instagram @readingmateapp

Facebook @readingmateapp

Twitter @readingmate

 

MY THOUGHTS ON BABY LOSS | GUEST POST

Filed Under: HOME, PREGNANCY //

BY AMY (GUEST WRITER)

BABY LOSS

On TMC we are so passionate about raising awareness & talking about topics that are still, unfortunately, considered taboo. We have Amy from Raising Rothlet sharing her experience on baby loss.

BABY LOSS

As I sauntered through my second trimester in August 2017, I was worried that our daughter might be born late and be a Pisces and not an Aquarius like us. I was worried that I was going to miss out on the girls weekend away booked for February. I was worried that I’d still be fat for bridesmaid duties in April. I was worried that the morning sickness was going to continue throughout my whole pregnancy, I was worried that the nursery carpet was too dark a colour, I was worried that the balloons for the baby shower wouldn’t all fit in my car.

How fast these worries melted away, when we heard the words ‘I’m sorry there is a problem with your baby’. We weren’t prepared for the words ‘I’m sorry there is a problem with your baby’ – we’d seen her wriggling on the scans, listened to her heartbeats and lain side-by-side in the evenings, counting them.

We weren’t prepared for every plan we had to peel away from the comfortable certainty to which it had clung. We weren’t prepared for the complications, the six days in hospital, the worried faces of consultants, the moving goalposts…. We weren’t prepared for words like ‘hysterectomy’ being flung around. We weren’t particularly prepared for the labour, or for the little creature that emerged from me, ten fingered and ten toed.

We weren’t prepared for that not to be the end of it, but two months later for my body to still be insisting that it was pregnant; for the operation to sort this out to go a tiny bit tits up. But then, neither were we prepared for our newlywed love for one another to mature so quickly or grow so deep. For the overwhelming kindness of our families and friends, for the tears of strangers. And, thinking we knew about ‘the state of the NHS’, we weren’t prepared to be so impressed by the compassion and competence of the embattled staff, from the student nurses up to our consultant who, as he marched the corridors clicking his pen, achieved almost messiah status in our eyes.

Every one of the billions of people on our planet is a miracle of fate, and now we’ve made another little miracle of fate, what do I say when people ask “is this your first baby?” It depends on my mood at the time how I answer. What I would always like to say though, is that sorrow can come to any kingdom, no matter how happy. That shit happens to everyone, and this particular shit happens to more of us than we know.

That if we turn our faces to the sun the shadows will fall behind us; that some good can come from almost any situation. I am grateful for the experiences I’ve had, for the things I have learnt, for the love I’ve been shown, for the way I am changed, for the certainty that I married the right man, and most of all, for the new life that grew in my womb and healed my heart.

We really appreciate Amy sharing her experience of baby loss with us, you can read her post all about decision fatigue here. xxx

BABY LOSS

YOU CAN FIND AMY ON;

INSTAGRAM: RAISINGROTHLET

INSTAGRAM: THE.FAMILY.BURROW

 

 

FIVE MINUTE HABITS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, MENTAL HEALTH, SELF CARE //

FIVE MINUTE HABITS

 

So many people think you have to make  HUGE change in your life for you to feel the benefits or like you have achieved something. Where as really, lots of small five minute habits will have just as big impact. If not more so. These habits will make your life that little bit easier, more manageable & benefit your overall life.

 

TIDY UP

A really easy one. Whether it is taking five minutes first thing in the morning to make your bed, take your empty glass from last nights drink downstairs and empty the dishwasher for example, or it can be setting a timer for five minutes and quickly decluttering things that don’t belong in a room. This will keep your space much tidier & prevent clutter from building up.

HAVE ONE AIM

I am a bugger for writing a list of things I need to do in a day, and there being 20 things on it. Which, with two young children & a partner out at work every day – it sometimes just isn’t doable. So giving yourself ONE task to do and once that is done, IF you can, write a different task down and get that done. You’ll feel so much better seeing one thing written down & crossed off, than a whole list with only a couple of things managed.

READ

My favourite thing to do. Taking just 10 or 15 minutes to sit and read a chapter of a book can really help you. It is the perfect distraction and it is relaxing for your mind. It keeps your mind engaged but not on 20 thousand things at once. As soon as the boys are in bed, that is my time to read. It’s the perfect thing to do before you go to sleep.

SPEAK TO A FRIEND

Whether it is a quick text or a good old face time catch up. Reach out to a friend & check in, they’ll appreciate it!

TAKE TIME TO DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE

Whether it is watching a favourite tv show, listening to a podcast or exercising!

PAY SOMEONE A COMPLIMENT

Who doesn’t love receiving a compliment? & it’s also nice knowing you gave a compliment that brightened somebody’s day.

APPRECIATE MORE

Especially at the minute I think it is so easy for us to get lost in the bad things that are occurring and how different life is so just take five minutes each day to appreciate what we DO have. I appreciate having my family, I appreciate the roof over my head, I appreciate that my partner has been able to work all through the pandemic (as scary as it has been). It’s the little things in life.

PUT YOURSELF FIRST

I think a lot of us have this idea that if we put ourselves first, it makes us selfish, but it doesn’t. It’s okay to take time out of your day to do the thing YOU want to do, to take five minutes for yourself.

SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX

This is something I definitely need to implement more because I always feel so much better when I do. Delete your social media apps or put them all in one folder and move it off your front screen. Even if it’s just half a day. It is is so refreshing & does wonders for not only my mental health, but also my productivity.

NAME 3 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

Every day. 3 things, they can be physical features & personality traits.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

There is always time to educate yourself on certain topics. I think the past 12 months, more than ever, have taught us that we should be constantly learning about what is happening in the world. There is no time for ignorance.

We hope these five minute habit ideas help, let us know a habit you implement into your daily life.

 

 

 

TWIN PREGNANCY & BIRTH | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, BIRTH, GUEST POST, HOME, PREGNANCY //

BY LAUREY (GUEST WRITER)

TWIN PREGNANCY

The first thing I am usually asked when I tell people I have twins is ‘Wow do they run in your family?’ They don’t and I always feel compelled to answer ‘oh no they’re IVF’. It’s something I’ve always been very open about and will be happy to explain to my beautiful girls when they are old enough to understand. You see, I was never desperate to have children initially, I was married at 31 and we agreed to give it another year until we started trying. Only once we did nothing happened, we started to change our diets, throw out anything with chemicals, get fit and still nothing happened. Another two years went by and then we started to get worried. Despite us never finding a single thing wrong, we ended up in a spiral of failure after failure and started to wonder if it would ever happen for us at all. 

The second thing I am always asked is whether twins were a shock and the truth is no, just a beautiful surprise. I was having double embryo transfers each time and in my dreams of motherhood there were always two babies, I went down the Instagram rabbit hole many times looking for successes and hoping that would one day be me. Also my HCG levels were massive, I was having beta tests through my fertility clinic and they were off the scale.

When I saw those two heartbeats on the screen it was like winning the lottery, after all of our struggles we had the opportunity to complete our family in one go, I could finally leave infertility behind me. Pregnancy after infertility never quite allows you to let down your guard however and at six weeks after a massive bleed I was convinced it was all over. Thankfully the girls were fine (apparently this is quite common in a twin pregnancy) but very very scary nonetheless.

 

My age, IVF and twins combined meant that we ticked many of the boxes for high risk pregnancy. It was reassuring for me however that as the girls were not identical, with their own sacs and placentas I at least didn’t have to worry about twin to twin transfusion, where one baby gets more than the other. My main worry was premature labour, I had no idea how I would carry two when physical strength has never been one of my strong points. 

I have been extremely fortunate that despite all of the risks my pregnancy ran very smoothly and the standard of care I received was amazing considering this was all during a pandemic. Yes I was enormous for my build and my feet and hands were really swollen, oh plus I had insomnia from six months that was fun! I did really enjoy it though! That said I was quite happy to never do it again! Having already been injecting myself for IVF regularly (I must have done hundreds) I then had to inject myself with blood thinners into my pregnant belly and then for weeks afterwards and to be honest I don’t think I could put myself through it again if I could conceive at all.

I was offered a c-section as Emily was breech, it’s so difficult to know what to do for the best but I took it and I have no regrets. It ran smoothly, both girls came out fine at healthy weights but the recovery was very traumatic. My husband came to get us from the hospital at midnight as I was so desperate to get us out of there! My blood pressure took weeks to come down.

It’s been a long and difficult road but I would do it all again for my Emily and Isabelle; they amaze me every day, I am so lucky to be their Mummy and can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

YOU CAN FIND LAURA ON:

INSTAGRAM : LAUREYANDTWINS

80s kid | GUEST POST

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, LIFE //

BY KATIE (GUEST WRITER)

80s kid

80s kid..

I’m 37, that’s right, I am a 80s kid. Hubba Bubba, scrunchies, slouch socks and cassettes…to name a few are my childhood memories. As I write I am already side tracked by the time it used to take to sit down and make a mixtape, and I had a vast collection! Some admittedly were gifted to my first boyfriend (major cringe). Teacher by trade, I hold my hand up, yes it’s true us guys are renowned for not being hi-tec. In my day they could never find play on the video recorder. But I digress, back to the mixtape…the hours spent pressing play and pause and now a tap on the screen of i-tunes (so my none teacher friends tell me) and boom a whole album, any album right there in an instant!!

It amazes me. But it doesn’t stop there…The tv’s on demand button, the next day delivery (I do the annual subscription), click and collect shopping, pay at pump petrol…I could go on and on. I don’t dispute that these things are amazing and have really ‘helped’ my family but it does make me wonder if the life of the millennial’s is improved?

For a while I have been having these nostalgic feelings. So I can’t help but compare to my childhood and the lack of technology. I remember being excited when channel 5 was launched, it’s true that there was in fact televised entertainment with sub 10 channels. Yes, we managed with four channels!! CITV was on for half an hour after school (I think it was longer, but I wasn’t a Blue Peter fan – don’t judge me please).

Like most (apologies if I offend) I have offered my phone to my toddler having a mental breakdown yelling ‘Peppa, Peppa’ in the trolley of a supermarket and although this is teaching the wrong message, I have done it. It’s immediate, it’s easy and they live in an ‘instant’ society where this, sadly, has become the norm. It does concern me that these little people will become impatient grown ups. How would they cope with four channels? Getting excited waiting for the new series of Blossom coming on channel 4 on Friday evenings? (No Daily Mail online spoilers and you don’t get to see it early just because you have a Netflix subscription)

Brookside was the best, and the most drama on Emmerdale was a sheep being left out in Jack Sugden’s field. I stopped watching Emmerdale a few years ago, it was probably replaced with ‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’. What’s with TV just being about watching people? It’s all reality and gossip, which isn’t really ideal for boosting our feel good factor. ‘Happy Days’ on the other hand, never failed in this department. Getting back to ‘Soap’ land 2021, tune into Emmerdale for a bit of murder and drug pushing, so I’ve heard. No more Jack Sugden (which google kindly offered 47 000 results on how the character was killed off) But now it’s all about TOWIE. Who is wearing what? Going out with you? And hasn’t she piled on the pounds?

I promise you that I am not sitting here in some granny slippers. I’m pretty normal. I appreciate all the advances that have made, hell I even have Instagram! (That my thumb seems to independently scroll through every half hour without engaging my brain) I just have some worries and I miss the simple life that I guess I was raised with.

I remember watching my Mum get ready for a date with my Dad (I might have even been making a mixtape) It’s so funny that as I write I even feel I need to add an emoji. Right there it would have been the wink, this even happens when I leave a handwritten note for someone. Anyone else? Back to the point…So they would have a date night.

Mum wouldn’t have scrolled through ASOS for hours the night before, no brows done, no gels nails (a slick of polish obviously, she was hot – still is!) I remember the smell of her makeup, hairspray and the bottle of Red Door perfume because I was in the moment. No need to order the mindful books. I just was because like most families then, we just were.

I envy how they must have gone for drinks and walked into a bar without thinking “Oooh there’s Cheryl from the school saw a selfie of her at the gym this morning” and “Dave who I used to work with four years ago is over there, seen his wife in a bikini in the Caribbean.”  You get my point. I don’t have a personal Facebook account, I deleted it years ago after realising that I was wasting time I wouldn’t get back looking through people’s pictures, that then quickly turned into their auntie’s cousins wedding.

Shortly after my ‘mindful awakening’ I replaced it with Instagram (right now I’m having that need to type an emoji just so ‘you get me’) So what’s with this addiction? Obsession? Curiosity of other people? Imagine if we sat in our living rooms and we were only concerned about the people who were sat there with us. How come we need to know that Elaine from the gym just checked into Canteen and Cocktails or that Cheryl Cole got her abs back after Bear (hi 5 Chez).

My mum baked a lot, we would often come home to a crumble and custard. I’ve failed in the culinary side of parenting, although I am trying hard now (hand over monkey eye emoji needed) She had a couple of Bero books, I have about 100 cooking channels but obviously whilst I’m watching Love Island on demand, stalking random people (shut up we all do it!) putting Peppa Pig on the i-phone, downloading music, doing an online shop and googling how old Mary Berry is…I can’t fit in making desserts.

The pace is just so fast, anyone else want to press pause (on the Betamax) ?

I appreciate all the positive things that have been brought by the internet, gadgets, and so on (obviously as I am writing a blog on a popular page) but nonetheless it does make me worry about the habitual behaviours that I know I’ve developed. This need I see for having things instant, texts, deliveries, tv, etc. And it’s the unhealthy side of being a millennial that causes me concern…needless to say the thumb damage. I could waffle all day but I guess the bottom line is that the pace of life today seems so fast that I kind of want to press pause.

And being an 80s kid, I will leave you with the wise words of Ferris:

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”

Are you a 80s kid? Do you WISH you were an 80s kid? I bet you do…

80s kid

 

YOU CAN FIND KATIE ON:

INSTAGRAM : THE_PROGRESS_PLACE

WEBSITE: THE PROGRESS PLACE

BABY TONGUE TIE EXPERIENCE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, HOME //

BY EMILY THOMAS

Hi, I am Emily. Mummy to three; Amari 5, Avery 3 and Aria 15 months.

I’ve breastfed all 3 of them, it was something I always knew I wanted to do. With my first it came naturally but he was diagnosed with CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) at 6 weeks so I became dairy free. My second wanted to feed literally all the time and had really bad reflux but we made it to 16 months of feeding. When I had Aria I thought surely I’m due an easier time, I was wrong, it’s been my toughest feeding journey. I hadn’t even contemplated baby tongue tie, but here was our experience..

BABY TONGUE TIE

BABY TONGUE TIE

I had aria in September 2019, after my longest most traumatic labour. As soon as she was born I had skin to skin, she wasn’t bothered about latching on so daddy had some skin to skin and I tried again, she still wouldn’t latch on properly. After trying for a while I started getting upset so my husband said get showered and calm down and try again. I tried again, she was crying, I was crying so I buzzed the midwife and told her. She told me to just get her to sleep so I did. They then came and said I could go home but I wasn’t happy as she wasn’t feeding.

On the ward Aria still wouldn’t feed so I was told to strip her every 2 hours and express into her mouth. Eventually around 7pm she latched on for a few minutes so they said I could go home and they’d send a breastfeeding midwife first thing tomorrow morning.

Fast forward to day 7 after a week of going to the hospital everyday for jaundice checks and Aria had lost 13.8% of her birth weight, she lost 10% on day 3 and 12.8% on day 5. We were referred to the children’s ward where they took bloods and said they wouldn’t let her leave until they knew she could gain weight. I went home to get our things and when I came back they said her bloods were fine and as long as I followed a feeding plan we could go home. I had to feed her every 3 hours and top up with expressed milk.

I followed the feeding plan and Aria began getting weighed 3 times a week and blood tests once a week. I asked about her latch and if she could be tongue tied and they said it all looked fine. Her weight gain was soooo slow. Around 5 weeks she was 60g below birth weight so I asked the consultant if we could stop top ups and was told I could. 3 days later she’d lost 100g so we went back to tops. Again weight gain was slow. During one of our weekly hospital appointments a consultant said ‘you don’t want to see the breastfeeding support worker while you wait for her bloods do you? You know what you’re doing don’t you?’ I said I would and within seconds of seeing Aria feed she said she thought she was tongue tied.

We got an appointment within a week and Aria did have a tongue tie so they cut it. 5 days later she was finally back to her birth weight at 8 weeks old . I was so relieved. I continued with top ups for a while and slowly started dropping them. Aria was now getting weighed twice a week. Her weight gain was still slow and I was told it was down to my poor quality breastmilk!!! Aria continued having blood tests as her weight gain was slow, they tested liver, kidney function, full blood count and numerous other things.

At 10 weeks she had lost weight again so they said they would test for metabolic disorders. I had no idea what they were and they told me some were life limiting. I was heartbroken. We had to wait for the results over Christmas and I honestly thought she wouldn’t make it to see another Christmas.

At 5 months aria was still below 0.1% centile but the health visitor was happy she was gaining. I was tired of feeding and expressing every 3 hours so I contacted a private lactation consultant and after sending her a video of aria feeding and speaking to her she said Aria was still tongue tied. I took aria to the clinic at 5.5 months and they cut it, twice. They said it was never cut properly the first time. They told me Aria was starving and had no energy which is why she didn’t wake in the night unless I woke her. My poor baby girl. Within a few weeks her weight gain improved so much. I carried on expressing until she was 10 months. She’s 15 months now and I’m still feeding her.

The lactation consultant advised us to take Aria to see an osteopath as she had been tongue tied for so long, then lockdown happened. During lockdown Aria gained weight well but never made any sounds other than when she cried. I took Aria to see an osteopath at 10 months and they said she’d got a lot of jaw tightness and couldn’t move her tongue properly still, she also had some reflex issues, all of this was caused by the fact she was tongue tied for so long. After several sessions Aria finally started to babble and made lots of improvements.

I feel we were let down by our trust. They didn’t once contact me throughout lockdown and she was still underweight and getting weighed every week. I’m waiting to hear back from them, I’ve asked why it took so long to diagnose and why they don’t routinely check.

If your baby loses lots of weight or things just don’t seem right please ask and ask again to check for tongue tie. My baby was starving but I’m lucky she’s her with me today, the next baby might not be so lucky.

 

YOU CAN FIND EMILY ON;

INSTAGRAM: _EMILY_THOMAS_

10 WAYS TO FOCUS ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH THIS YEAR

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, MENTAL HEALTH //

FOCUS ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

I think it is safe to say that everyone’s mental health has been affected this past year, I feel like we have been focusing a lot more on taking care of ourselves & unfortunately it doesn’t look like we are any closer to the current situation ending so we are sharing easy ways to focus on your mental health in 2021.

Ask For Help

I know right now we can’t ask for much outside help but mentally & emotionally we could all do with a hand every once in a while. There is no shame in admitting you are struggling – whether you need someone to listen to you rant about your other half or just word vomit your feelings.

Show Some Love

Reach out to someone you love, respect or appreciate and let them know! Not only will it make you feel better but they’ll love it to. You don’t know how much someone needs to be reminded that they are loved. Communication is so important – whether it’s a message on social media, a quick text or a video call.

Take A Break

This is something i’ve definitely done more this past few months. A break from my phone, from the kids.. it is so needed & vital for your mental health. It can really help to clear your mind.

Let It All Out

Your feelings or something that’s been really bothering you. Let it all out on paper. It doesn’t have to make sense. Just throw the words down on paper. You’ll feel so much better.

Get Outside

Whether it’s going for a 20 minute walk or taking five minutes to sit in your outdoor space. It is proven that being with nature can increase energy levels & boost mental wellbeing.

Focus Your Mind

Whether it is starting a journal, blogging, colouring or reading; focus your mind & energy on something you love.

Value Yourself

Treat yourself with kindness & respect. Shrug off the self doubt, list one thing you like about yourself every day. Whether it is a physical feature or a personality trait you have.

Set Realistic Goals

Write down professional or personal goals, aim high but also don’t over-schedule yourself. You’ll feel such a sense of achievement.

Break Out Your Routine

I think we can all agree that the past 12 months have been “same shit, different day”. As a parent I know how important routines can be but I also know how much my mental health benefits when we break up the monotony. Even if it’s just taking a walk somewhere different or trying something out of your comfort zone – a new meal to cook, a genre of tv show you don’t usually watch…

Look After Your Body

I’m not going to preach about drinking lots of water & eating a healthy diet – obviously that is great BUT what I mean is give your body what you love. Give your body what it wants. You want a Big Mac meal, go for it. You want to treat yourself to a FULL FAT can of Coke (my favourite), then do it! I think we’ve realised that life is too short & fleeting to deprive yourself and you body of the things it wants. Whether it is a veg packed stir fry or a 20 box of McChicken nuggets.

There you have it, 10 ways to focus on your mental health this year. How are you feeling? What will you implement into your daily schedule to look after your mind?

 

WHAT WE READ IN JANUARY

Filed Under: BOOKS, HOME //

BY RACHAEL

Welcome to our first monthly reading wrap up! We thought we would share what we read in January, we read a whole variety of things – including romance, thrillers & non-fiction. There is something for everyone.

read in january

READ IN JANUARY..

 

RESCUE ME BY SARRA MANNING // LINK

We follow Margot & Will who both want to adopt the same rescue dog, Blossom & they share custody. It is every bit as cute & wholesome as it sounds. I loved the two characters so much, their snarky banter at the beginning that slowly develops into more. Their developing relationship is one of the best i’ve read in a romance. It wasn’t rushed at all and you saw their feelings grow organically, which I really appreciated. The book does tackle slightly deeper topics such as childhood trauma & the whole “i’m getting to old & my eggs will be all dried up” stigma that surrounds being a SLIGHTLY older woman. If you are after a really sweet & easy romance that is quick to read then this is for you! Plus, there is a dog! What more could you want?

THE GIRL WHO… BY ANDREINA CORDANI // LINK

The Girl Who.. tells the story of Leah, who has been masking her rage over the tragic deaths of her mum and sister for years. Now, with the killer released from prison, it’s time to see how far Leah will go to silence her anger…

I was so intrigued by the plot & I loved multiple perspectives – I am a huge fan of these as I feel like it adds so much more depth to a story. However I just didn’t find myself completely hooked. Characters are a huge plus for me & they all fell kind of flat. It was a really quick read as the writing style flowed really nicely, amazing for a debut book! I found the ending to be a slight anti-climax, I definitely expected a slightly more sinister ending but as this book is a young adult, it is understand me why the author took the specific route she did.

This book definitely gave me Karen M McManus vibes, if you liked One Of Us Is Lying (and the others in that “series”) I’d highly recommend this.

THE DUKE & I (BRIDGERTON BOOK 1) BY JULIA QUINN // LINK

First book in the well known Bridgerton series. Well, mainly well known for the Netflix adaptation. Which is excellent by the way. In the first book we follow Daphne & Simon, fake dating trope. I only read this book because I wanted to watch the tv show and I knew I would regret not reading the book first. The book was… okay. Nothing special, just an easy breezy historical romance. There are some slightly… questionable scenes regarding a male rape – it is definitely down played in the adaptation & Daphne is a lot more annoying in the book.

THE OTHER MOTHER BY JEN BRISTER // LINK

A honest account of what it is to be a mother, following Jen’s journey as a non-biological mother to twin boys. I listened to this via audible and it was so good! It was incredibly funny & really honest. I did find the middle of the book slightly repetitive but it didn’t take away from the narrative. I highly recommend the audiobook if you fancy giving this a go.

CAN YOU HEAR ME? BY JAKE JONES // LINK

Non-fiction following a paramedic, I love medical memoirs usually but this one fell really flat for me. The chapters flit between time lines but the writing was really disjointed & jumpy so it didn’t make any sense. It just didn’t flow. The authors narrative wasn’t engaging enough and I found it quite dull in points.

ADULT VIRGINS ANONYMOUS BY AMBER CREWE // LINK

Katie & Freddie are (almost) 30 year olds who meet at a self help group for virgins. They think they will be able to “help each other out” if you catch my drift… so they can both get on with finding their true romantic destinies. This book is so much more than the synopsis makes you think. I was expecting a sexy, friends with benefits romance but what I actually got was so much more.

The book explored toxic friendships from teenage years (which I could really relate to), how sex can JUST be about sex and battling mental health – in particular OCD. I fell in love with both the main characters but especially Freddie. I just wanted to give him the biggest hug. His family dynamics were so interesting to read and I feel like so many people will be able to relate to the sibling rivalry and not feeling good enough. The LGBTQIA+ rep in the book was incredible, I only wish it had been explored slightly more and we had been able to see more from the various characters.

THE PASSENGERS BY JOHN MARRS // LINK

Now for the last book I read in January. My favourite book of the month & one of my favourite authors! Set in the future, 8 self driving cars are hacked into and set on a collision course. It is up to a select panel and social media to decide who lives & who dies…

It is every bit as fucked up as it sounds but it is INCREDIBLE! So fast paced, clever & every chapter ends like OH MY GOD. So many twists & turns that you just don’t see coming. John Marr’s writing style is so addictive. I recommend ANY of his books but I think this is my new favourite of his.

There you have it – all the books I read in January. I managed 7 books which I am thrilled with. What have you read this month?

 

PRE-LOVED SHOPPING | GUEST POST

Filed Under: ECO LIVING, ECO PARENTING, FASHION, GUEST POST, HOME, LIFE, SUSTAINABILITY //

BY HELEN ELFER (GUEST WRITER)

 

PRE-LOVED SHOPPING

 

Hello mamas! I’m Helen, the founder of Stork, an online marketplace for pre-loved kids and babies’ stuff. So happy to be guest posting on That Mama Club to tell you all a bit about how I got hooked on pre-loved shopping….

Last year, I was obsessed with finding a pair of yellow wellies for my daughter. They had to be completely plain, no handles, no logos, and an iconic, daffodil shade of yellow. Sound familiar? Of course they do. It’ll be no surprise to many mamas reading this that I was on the hunt for Peppa Pig’s boots. Peppa, or ‘Pe-PIG!’ as my daughter calls her, is, let’s say, an extremely influential figure in our household (Screen time limits vs Peppa addiction is a topic for another day). I was hopeful that my little girl would be so thrilled to have the same boots as her favourite TV character that there would be no fuss about wearing them on muddy puddle days. 

I had no luck on the usual kids clothes sites or in high street shops, but after a lot of social media-ing and asking around, I found a second-hand pair another mum was selling that were 100% perfect. I was already thrilled when they arrived, and then I read the handwritten note that came with them. 

‘These boots have jumped in puddles, splashed in the sea and walked along the Breton coast. Here’s hoping they have more adventures with their new little feet!’ 

And err, well there must have been something in my eye… sniff! Before that moment, I don’t think in a million years I would ever have described shopping as a beautiful experience. But to feel that connection with another proud mum and another adventurous toddler was really, really special. 

I first got hooked on shopping pre-loved when I was pregnant with my first child. Classic maternity wear didn’t suit me at all, plus I didn’t fancy spending much on clothes that I’d only wear for a month or so. I got into the habit of picking up oversized shirts or loose dresses from thrift shops every so often, donating them back once I was too big for them. It was fun and easy.

But prepping for the arrival of our baby was another story altogether. Like most other parents, I felt overwhelming pressure to buy, buy, buy to make sure she had everything she needed. Everything had to be perfect, everything had to be the most expensive I could afford, everything had to be brand-new. Pram, crib, Moses basket, bouncy chair, baby clothes, car seat, breast pump, nappy bin, nightlight, bedroom furniture, activity mat… it was a small fortune.

PRE-LOVED SHOPPING

I wish I knew then what I know now. Firstly, to ignore all those department stores ‘must-have’ lists and check with other parents what products are actually essential. So much of what’s on the market is overpriced and unnecessary, marketed to play on our fear of not being the perfect mother.

Secondly, after having my daughter, I found I actually preferred her to have clothes and toys that came packed with stories, love and memories, whether that was from friends passing on their children’s outgrown things, or buying pre-loved from other parents.

A soft blanket another baby had been wrapped in was just as cosy as a store-bought one. She would have sweet dreams (and sleepless nights) in a crib lent by an old friend, just the same as if we’d forked out for a new one. A second-hand car seat was just as safe, plus came with the trusted recommendation that it was comfortable and easy to use. All these items had been used, were in great condition, didn’t cost us a fortune and were pre-loaded with the love of other families.

From then on I was hooked – I loved chatting with other mums when I bought things, asking advice and sharing tips. I really appreciated the lower cost, especially after maternity leave pay dried up. It was important to me that my money supported other families, instead of just being poured back into the same old chain stores. And I started to feel great about wasting less, as I’d resell, donate or recycle as much as possible once we were finished with it. 

Gradually I started to realise that with the amount of people out there doing the same, the pre-loved community was actually a pretty incredible movement. There was a whole network of (mostly) mamas on social media who were managing to earn extra cash, support each other and keep their kids dressed in gorgeous little outfits at the same time. In and around naptimes/mealtimes/home schooling/all the rest of it, they’d somehow managed to create this wonderful, sustainable, circular economy. I felt totally inspired!

Fast forward 14 months, I was pregnant again and determined to carry on shopping pre-loved. But I knew what I was looking for this time, and it was often hard to find exactly what I needed. I didn’t want to rush or order things I wasn’t completely happy with, nor did I want to go back to using faceless chain stores, or impersonal and complicated selling sites. So in a welcome burst of second trimester energy, I decided to launch Stork for parents in the same position as me. It’s an online marketplace just for kids’ and babies’ things, and it’s full of kind, thoughtful, supportive, eco-conscious, thrifty, positive, entrepreneurial, and generally wonderful sellers and buyers. 

You don’t need a lot of stuff or a huge Instagram following to join up, and you don’t need to sell instantly because listings don’t disappear down a feed. Everything is categorised by size, colour, brand and condition, so it’s really easy for people to find what they want. Plus if you have any questions about the products, or general advice about what you need, you can always just ask someone! So if you fancy being part of a real community of Pre-lovelies, come and visit us, have a browse or set up your own store. Everyone’s welcome!

PRE-LOVED SHOPPING

YOU CAN FIND HELEN ON;

INSTAGRAM: THE STORK SHOP

WEBSITE: THE STORK SHOP

 

40 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALS FOR 2021

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, MENTAL HEALTH, SELF CARE //

I think it’s safe to say that 2021 hasn’t been off to the best start, and (possibly quite naively) the start I imagined. 2020 was such a crazy year for me personally as I had a second baby, we went into lockdown & my partner continued to work as a key worker so I found my life consumed by a new baby & a toddler, it took me a while to find my feet. However I am determined to make 2021 the year that I focus a little bit more time on me. I am not going to be making any huge changes but I thought I would share 40 personal developmental goals that are super simple & easy to incorporate into your day.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALSPERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALSPERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALS

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALSPERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALS

 

  1. Go for a walk outside every day – whether it’s 10 minutes or longer, just getting some fresh air can make the world of difference.
  2. Drink more water – I definitely need to do this!
  3. Try a new exercise – I have signed up to a zoom barre class! I used to do dance as a teenager and I can’t wait to get back into it.
  4. Eat a more balanced diet.
  5. Start a journal – I started a bullet journal at the beginning of 2021 and I love it!
  6. Limit your news intake, especially at the minute.
  7. Spend less time on social media.
  8. Practice mindfulness.
  9. Mute, block & remove people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.
  10. Try something new every month.
  11. Stop procrastinating, i’m a bugger for this.
  12. List 1 thing you love about yourself every day.
  13. Keep a planner.
  14. Learn to prioritise your tasks – this is great for feeling less overwhelmed.
  15. Stick to a daily to do list.
  16. Accept your flaws.
  17. Establish a skincare routine.
  18. Learn to say no.
  19. Read more books.
  20. Be more open-minded.
  21. Believe in yourself – have faith in yourself and your abilities.
  22. Be a better friend. It is so easy at the minute to get wrapped up in our tiny little lockdown bubbles. Reach out to a friend – send a text, arrange a facetime date…
  23. Ditch drama – this is something I definitely did more of in 2020. I was part of a group chat and it was such a negative, toxic place to be. I left and I am so glad because the drama is still very ongoing. I aint got time for that.
  24. Embrace the present. Be present in whatever you are doing RIGHT NOW.
  25. Quit a bad habit.
  26. Step out of your comfort zone.
  27. Do more of what you love.
  28. Learn to forgive yourself.
  29. Take lessons in something you want to learn.
  30. Take a course to further progress in a hobby you love.
  31. Find your tribe. The people who celebrate your highs & comfort you through the lows. Find your people.
  32. Set personal boundaries.
  33. Declutter your space – tidy space, tidy mind.
  34. Be comfortable with your own company.
  35. Treat yourself to something once a month.
  36. Go to bed earlier.
  37. Let go of the past.
  38. Become more resilient.
  39. Take 5 minutes to just sit & breathe.
  40. Create a healthy life/work balance.

What are your personal developmental goals? Will you try and incorporate any of these into your daily life?

MOTHERHOOD & EDS – PART ONE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, MOTHERHOOD, PREGNANCY //

BY RACHEL SALTER

Hello to every single wonderful mummy reading this, wait before we get into anything let me just put down this tea cup that I find is permanently affixed to my hand these days so that I can talk to you all a little better. 

Two hands typing now woohoo! I know that you mummies know exactly where I am coming from on the caffeine front but that is not why I am having a chat with you today. I have been asked by the wonderful creators of That Mama Club to start up a conversation about mums with disabilities, invisible illnesses & rare diseases. 

Let me begin by telling you all a little about myself. I am Rachel I am 31 and I currently live in Surrey with my husband and our 16 month old little boy Vinnie. I have a rare, invisible disability called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) – Well to be perfectly honest EDS is only one condition I suffer from however I wanted to focus on EDS in my little mini series where I will be chatting about other factors of EDS and the existing overlapping conditions caused by it or that go hand in hand with it. 

EDS

So, what in the world are The Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and how the hell am I pronouncing that? 

It is pronounced (ELLE-ERS-DAN-LOSS SYNDROME) and EDS is a group of 13 hereditary disorders that affect the connective tissue of the body. Connective tissues connect, support and bind organs in the human body. The disorders are generally characterized by joint hypermobility (joints that extend further than normal) Skin hyperextensibility (skin that can be stretched further than normal) and tissue fragility. The connective tissue a person with EDS is born with is not structured the way it should be. One type of The Ehlers-Danlos syndrome unfortunately can shorten a person’s life expectancy due to organ and vessel rupture. Every individual diagnosed with EDS travels along a unique life unlike another person with the same diagnosis. EDS will never manifest the same in any 2 people and to this day is still incurable. The most effective way to deal with having EDS is the management of each individual symptom caused by the syndrome. EDS is a bit of an annoyance that it can cause multi systemic (effects many organs/systems) issues within the body. 

I look back at when I was younger ( a lot younger) and I remember feeling ill all of the time, being in pain constantly, not being able to do things others could do and so easily. I remember knowing I was very much different in the behaviour of my body to everyone else’s however one thing always stood out and strong and that was knowing in my mind and my heart that all I wanted from this life was to be a mum. The yearning and aching I felt to have a baby was so powerful and for many many years while I searched the planet for the elusive ‘One’ that so called ‘Mr Right’ and in true Disney form I kissed my fair share of frogs but alas never found ‘Mr Right’ so I decided that I would try my absolute best to get my body in shape because whether I had a partner or not I wanted to be a mother and if that meant travelling along that road alone then so be it. (This really makes me sound like Bridget Jones ha)

I spent time talking with my specialists because when you have EDS you have more specialist consultants managing your affected body parts and systems than you actually do friends ha! It was in one of my appointments that I told them what I wanted to do and it was at that point they told me that due to my syndrome & because I have endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome that I would struggle to conceive and find it incredibly difficult, however it didn’t stop there. They then went on to tell me that even if I somehow managed to conceive there would be a very high chance that my body simply wouldn’t be able to tolerate carrying and growing a baby due to EDS. It was a lot to take in and I felt that I had all of my dreams crushed in the space of 40 minutes. 

In true story form I met Matt (my husband) at what I thought was the worst timing because I was ready to embark on the journey of attempting solo parenting and motherhood and all the scary things I had been warned about by all my specialists like being a mum who uses a wheelchair, or mobility aids, a mother who is heavily medicated due to the syndrome, the attempt of becoming a mother on its own and so much more. I remember thinking “god he’s so handsome, funny and I really want to date him but he’s really getting in the way of my plans” ha ha little did I know that he would accept me for all of my broken parts, flaws, diseases, syndrome, disabilities and most importantly risks. 

I realised that my husband was my elusive Mr Right and so I put my plans of motherhood on hold and started building life with him until we were ready to take the plunge together. In the time between meeting Matt and preparing to try for a baby I underwent a lot of hospital admissions for my heart which is being affected by a secondary syndrome that is linked in with EDS called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (PoTs). PoTs occurs because EDS can cause a permanent dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system in the body which is called Dysautonomia. 

 

EDS

So, where did we get to – Oh that’s right the pants part of noticing a deterioration in my syndrome resulting in new and scary syndromes and conditions rearing their ugly head at what I was considering the most crucial and important time in a woman’s life. My heart was being affected, my immune system and lungs started to become affected by another linked syndrome of the EDS. I was getting the most medical help I have ever had in my life, an increase of medications to help with management alongside physios, dieticians, OT’s, and so much more but in my mind I had set out to attempt to achieve something and I was not going to go down without a fight for a chance at being a mum. I got my body into as best shape as I could considering exercise limitation, injuries from simply opening jars and bottles, dislocations of joints from simply coughing and sneezing but I was ready so we took the plunge. 

Months and months passed by into what felt like absolute years of time while we waited to see if we could conceive. On this one day after many many negative pregnancy tests and nights full of tears and broken hearts and my husband picking up the pieces sometimes literally because I had sustained an injury from the EDS – I felt a little different one day while I was at work. I noticed food wasn’t tasting the same and I felt a different kind of sick (I have gastroparesis which is a delayed emptying of the stomach due to it being paralysed by the autonomic nervous system so I feel sick constantly) and it got me thinking….Could I be? 

So I rushed out and grabbed a pregnancy test in my lunch break & sat there waiting for that annoying spinning timer (the one everyone hates) to finally stop after what felt like a 5 minute wait. The usual feelings of seeing the word NEGATIVE were quickly flooded away by the most overwhelming tears of emotion and happiness I have ever felt in my lifetime as the word PREGNANT appeared on that tiny annoying screen!  

EDS

I remember feeling the most incredible sense of achievement that the first hurdle I managed to get through regardless of my health taking a bit of a plummet. We were sitting in our very first midwife appointment and she literally could not believe as much as us, that we were pregnant. The team where elated at the news but concerned immediately too because now came the hardest part – Keeping the pregnancy, staying healthy, staying safe & giving this baby every chance to grow and survive as possible while preparing an already very fragile body for carrying a growing baby.

I was completely enveloped in happiness, pure fear, excitement & nervousness all wrapped up in a knot inside my chest. We were told straight away that we would have to have the baby via planned caesarean section due to the risk of significant tearing, bleeding and healing issues due to EDS while undergoing a normal delivery. I also was suffering from my heart and blood pressure significantly now due to the EDS and the midwives feared how my heart would cope with the pressures of bearing down during a normal delivery as my heart rate was incredibly high when doing things like standing, sitting up, sneezing, coughing and other very minimal things. The risk of preterm rupture was increased with EDS alongside the baby itself being born with EDS. It was at this point that it was decided I would be managed under an obstetrician and my son would be scanned very regularly through out the pregnancy and he would undergo a cardiac scan while I was pregnant to check for any defects or irregularity with his heart as I suffer from 2 minor leaking valves due to EDS. 

The first trimester for me was okay, I was expecting and prepared by the obstetrics team to be quite ill as my body learned to accept the change and the hormonal changes happening but for me I just inhaled biscuits to stop me throwing up in the car on the way to and from work. I couldn’t have the heating on as the smell made me want to be sick ha and I loved tins of baked beans and mini sausages so I ate those like they were going out of fashion. I still had all of my usual EDS symptoms of dizziness, heart palpitations, painful bones, nerve pain, exhaustion, GI issues, easy bruising and bleeding but considering I was managing all of that and carrying and growing a baby – I was WINNING!!! 

This joy continued right through until the final trimester when as suspected my health started to deteriorate slightly. The PGP (Pelvic girdle pain) was very bad, the episodes of dizziness were significantly increased, I was managing my nutrition via artificial food as my gastroparesis was so bad I couldn’t manage a lot to eat. I was incredibly tired & suffered a lot of pain and sprains to my joints while trying to move around and just live life. I had a few bad subluxations to my joints (partial not full dislocations) which took forever to heal and I couldn’t use them until they did. I won’t lie, the last stretch of pregnancy is difficult for any women but I struggled quite a bit with the pressure it had put on my EDS and the symptoms the EDS where causing me to have but every time I felt pain, every subluxation, every moment of fatigue, dizziness, through every cardiac scan, ultrasound and appointment I knew I was achieving something I only ever dreamt of doing and that the end result is worth every ounce of what I am experiencing now. 

We had gone this far and achieved this much that our delivery date for our son was drawing ever closer and we couldn’t believe what we had achieved as we prepared for that all important date but my son had decided to give us the fright of our lives when one evening he simply stopped moving and I couldn’t feel him. I drank water (although very limiting because I have gastroparesis) and I changed positions, went for walks and took all advice from the midwives but it carried on and when he was usually active at 11pm at night and I felt absolutely nothing, I started to worry. We were invited into the hospital to get our son checked over and find out what’s happening. The entire drive into the hospital felt like hours, I just needed to know he was okay, alive and safe. We had come through so much and come so far I couldn’t lose him now and I was so frightened that our dreams of becoming parents were falling at the last hurdle because of my health. We arrived in the department and we were quickly greeted by a waiting team who took down my history and as all medical professionals involved in my care, took a very big inhale and exhale before attempting to understand my life, my pregnancy surrounding EDS. We were scanned straight away and instantly there he was, heart beating and all just having a lazy day apparently. Well!! That’s one bloody lazy day to put the fear of god in my eyes  I can tell you ha. Vinnie was absolutely fine, his movements had reduced but not to a level of concern in fact this is where they realised Vinnie was somewhat smaller than originally anticipated. Our tiny little trouble maker. 

Its time! 5am and we were getting the last things into the car ready to head out to the hospital for the most important day of our lives – DELIVERY DAY! My heart was racing, palms sweaty, everything including the kitchen sink that I thought at the time I needed, packed up high in the car with the empty newborn baby car seat ready and waiting for him. 

The pregnancy was one hurdle now I have to survive the delivery of our son.

YOU CAN FIND RACHEL ON:

INSTAGRAM: @BEAUTIFUL_ADVENTURES_X

WEBSITE: BEAUTIFUL ADVENTURES

EASY SUSTAINABLE SWAPS | BATH & BODY

Filed Under: ECO BATH AND BEAUTY, HOME, SUSTAINABILITY //

EASY SUSTAINABLE SWAPS | BATH & BODY

It is time for part two of our sustainable swap series! This time we are sharing easy sustainable swaps | bath & body edition! From toilet paper to period pants, we’ve got you covered.

01. SHAMPOO & CONDITIONER BARS; This is the one swap I was most sceptical about, I have really thick curly hair & just didn’t think bars would agree with my hair, possibly leaving it feeling greasy but I was SO wrong. They are such an easy swap and also take up a lot less room. (link)

02. BODY SPONGE/POUF; A really easy swap but switching from a normal sponge to a plastic free recycled one can make a huge difference. (link)

03. TOILET PAPER; Toilet paper actually creates so much waste & uses  a LOT of trees. Companies like “Who Gives A Crap”, EXCELLENT name I know, deliver recycled toilet roll direct to your door, completely plastic free & in bulk (24 or 48 rolls), you can subscribe too which makes it so much easier! They donate 50% of their profits around the world to help build toilets. Did you know that roughly 40% of the world’s population don’t have access to a toilet? (link)

04. PERIOD PRODUCTS; It’s not secret that tampons & sanitary pads are NOT good for the planet! All 3 of us have made the switch to more sustainable alternatives, whether that is menstrual cups, period pants (my personal favourite) or reusable sanitary pads. We highly recommend giving at least one a go. (link)

05. NATURAL DEODORANT; I made this switch last summer & it is one of my personal favourites! I use Wild plastic-free refillable deodorant, I love the aluminium cases & the scents of the refills are incredible! I highly recommend orange zest. It has been especially formulated for a wide range of skin types including sensitive. It is delivered straight to your door & you can set up a subscription! (link)

06. BAMBOO TOOTHBRUSHES; Another incredibly easy swap for you! You can pick these up on Amazon for a couple of pounds and they feel no different to using a plastic toothbrush. They also last just as long! I have linked a pack of five priced at £5.99! (link)

07. SOAP BARS; This sounds like such an obvious one but how many of us use the pump bottles rather than good old fashioned bar of soap? Exactly. Go back to basics and grab yourself a bar – they do the job just as well. (link)

08. REUSABLE FACE CLOTHS; Rather than using cotton pads that go straight in the bin, I highly recommend face cloths or you can even pick up reusable cotton pads. Simply use them & pop them in the wash (with your Ecoegg, wink wink we mentioned that in our kitchen swaps edition) and repeat for a long time! (link)

 

We hope you enjoyed our easy sustainable swaps | bath & body post & we’d love to know if you make the switch to any of these.

 

WATER PLAY IDEAS FOR TODDLERS

Filed Under: HOME, PLAY, SENSORY, TUFF TRAY, WATER //

Water play is one of the boys favourite activities (& mine to be honest) – there is something kids love about splashing in the water & it is definitely our go-to play choice. Water play is amazing in the summer but you really can do it all year round, bring it inside – put down towels (lots of them in our case), strip them off & let them have at it. I thought I would share our favourite water play ideas. I picked up this water & sand play table from Amazon for less than £10, it comes with 8 accessories including sand shapers, buckets and spades & a watering can.

DEVELOPMENTAL SKILLS

Water play is great for developing skills such as fine motor skills & hand-eye coordination through actions such as pouring, filling & stirring. Water play also releases energy as it can be really relaxing & calming for children. They also build up muscle strength through filling buckets with water.

WATER PLAY IDEAS

ACTIVITIES

 

  • Make coloured water (mix two drops of food colouring into room temperature water), then add objects of the same colour; building blocks, cars ect.
  • Add some bubbles! Easy.
  • Add in toy boats.
  • Set up a pouring station with buckets, cups & jugs.
  • Add coloured ice to the water.
  • Add bubbles & use a silicone whisk to swirl and mix.
  • Add ball pool balls, drop them into the water & make a little splash.
  • Freeze pompoms into ice cubes and add them to the water, pompoms are perfect as you can re-use them once they are dry. They are also good for babies to squeeze once they are free from the ice and watch the water come out.
  • Add rubber ducks and a little net – let them go fishing!
  • Add sliced lemons & limes to the water and let them try to fish them out & taste them! Perfect for slightly younger babies who like to put everything in their mouths.
  • Add a empty pop or squash bottle and insert a plastic funnel – watch them pour the water into the funnel & fill the bottle. This entertained Oliver for AGES.
  • Add plastic animals such as fish or other sea creatures.
  • Water beads are a new discovery of ours & whilst they do get everywhere, they are great for littles. Just make sure you keep an eye on them & that they don’t put the beads into their mouths!
  • Add different textured & sized sponges.
  • Add foam letters and numbers – stick them to the side of the water table to spell out words.

Those are just 15 water play ideas – there are so many more! You don’t need to do anything overboard or crazy, kids can have a whale of a time with just an empty bottle. I find Pinterest is an amazing place for ideas & inspiration.

 

IVF CYCLE – WHAT HAPPENS? | GUEST POST

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, MOTHERHOOD, PREGNANCY, TTC //

BY NICKY ELLIOT (GUEST POST)

IVF CYCLE

I have written this as a kind of guide to what happens during an IVF cycle, as I find there isn’t much out there on the detail of what to expect & I really would have benefited from knowing exactly what was going to happen.

Trying to have a baby is easy for some, not so easy for others. If you fall into the latter category it can quickly become an all-consuming pursuit. In an age where women are successful and independent it’s hard to face that some situations are beyond our control, and yet that’s fertility; we hand it back to Mother Nature and after likely decades of expressly trying not to get pregnant, we expect it to happen instantly. And when it doesn’t? It can be confusing, isolating and downright painful.

I started trying to get pregnant as soon as I got married in 2014. Three years later I welcomed my daughter into the world, and there had been what felt like a chasm of time between those two dates – of trying, and trying again, ovulation tracking, sex schedules, paying attention to body temperature and cervical mucus. Exhausting, and for me ultimately futile.

Considering IVF was not a decision I took lightly, and nor is it a miracle cure for infertility issues. It doesn’t always work, but after investigations we knew we had ‘unexplained infertility’ i.e. there was no specific issue for myself or my husband – it just wasn’t happening. I’m still not sure if that made it easier or harder to process. We knew that we had a decent chance of IVF working based on my age and our ‘vital statistics’ with regards to fertility, and we could have kept trying on our own, but the clichéd biological clock was ticking, and we decided to start IVF in early 2016.

IVF: three little letters that can feel heavy. There is a preconception of hormones and injections and it feels like a massive undertaking. For anyone considering it or about to go through it my only advice is to take it one day at a time. There are hormone injections, and the amount and strength of those depend on your specific needs, so it’s different for everyone. For me the idea of it all was far worse than the reality, and taking it day by day got me through it – twice!

IVF CYCLE

The IVF Cycle process is broken down into roughly five phases (and these may vary depending on your protocol so don’t panic if yours is slightly different to the below). Down regulation is the first phase, where you start injecting to counter-intuitively ‘quieten’ your ovaries before the next phase, which is called stimulation. It’s what it sounds like – stimulating your ovaries to produce as many eggs as possible in one cycle. If you normally produce one or two eggs per cycle then you’re aiming to produce one or two dozen here, so this is where the discomfort can come in.

You know that pre-period bloat? Multiply it. You do feel bloated, windy and uncomfortable but it’s for a very limited time. You might also feel insanely emotional – the hormonal storm that is occurring thanks to a massive influx of hormones is not to be underestimated BUT it is manageable, as long as you go easy on yourself, limit your expectations of what you can do during that time, and make sure your partner is understanding, supportive and completely on board with the process. As with everything to do with bringing babies into the world the hard work is down to you. My husband was an awesome support in this time, and that helped me get through it all knowing I could have as many meltdowns as I wanted, without judgment. During these phases you’ll be scanned regularly via an internal ultrasound to check on the progress of your follicles (which contain the eggs). When the time is right the doctor will tell you do a trigger injection which triggers ovulation at the exact right moment to prepare for the next phase – egg collection.

Once the follicles containing your eggs are the optimum size and you’ve done your trigger injection you’ll be sedated about 36 hours later, and the doctor will remove the eggs from the follicles. This step terrified me but it was like having a nice sleep – I went through this process twice and didn’t feel a thing either time!

When you wake up you’ll be told how many eggs were retrieved – some eggs may be immature and some follicles empty, but the ones that are good to go are put together with your partner or donor’s sperm and left to do their thing! There are fertilisation reports in the subsequent days where you’ll hear how many eggs were fertilised, and some of those will likely drop off and stop developing, while others will go from strength to strength. If possible your doctors will aim to put what’s known as a blastocyst back inside you on day 5 after your egg collection – a blastocyst is a fertilised egg on its way to becoming an embryo. This may happen at the time or the blastocyst can be frozen and transferred after a break if necessary which was the case for me.

 

Embryo transfer is the next phase – a tiny tube is passed through your cervix into your womb where the doctor will use ultrasound to find the perfect spot in your uterus to put the blastocyst. You might be able to give your little guy a wave on a screen before it goes in (it’s about one sixth the size of a dot drawn with a ballpoint pen at this point, so you see it under a microscope!). And then you’re good to go and the final phase – the two week wait – commences.

This can almost be the hardest part even though the hormones and prodding and poking are over. Now you’re on high alert for every twinge and every feeling. Are you pregnant or is it period pains? Has it worked or not? There is absolutely no way of knowing and it can be stressful wondering and waiting to take that pregnancy test. For me the best way to manage my anxiety in this period was to take it relatively easy, but keep up my usual routine, and to give it back to Mother Nature – I lit a candle for my blastocyst every day and just looked at its picture. I told that bunch of cells that we loved it and were ready to welcome it into our family.

I’m one of the lucky ones and in early 2017 we did just that when our daughter was born. In 2019 we started the process from scratch as our remaining embryos from our first cycle didn’t take, but a second fresh cycle got a great batch of embryos, and we now have two amazing children to keep us on our toes!

For anyone who is considering IVF there are many things you can do to prepare yourself physically, and the ‘right’ things to do on that front are different for everyone, but to prepare yourself mentally I would just say – be prepared to go easy on yourself, to trust the process, and to have hope. If it doesn’t work and you hoped it would you won’t be any less devastated, so don’t beat yourself up for having it. Alexander Pope said “hope springs eternal in the human breast.” My advice is: if it’s there, hold onto it.

Did you know all about IVF cycle, and what goes into them? Have you been through IVF cycles yourself?

YOU CAN FIND NICKY ON:

INSTAGRAM: @WILDER.ONES

WEBSITE: WILDER ONES