BABY Archives - That Mama Club

6 tips for introducing your newborn to the family dog

Filed Under: BABY, HOME, MOTHERHOOD, PREGNANCY // February 20, 2022

Whilst pregnant, other than the obvious big questions (was that a contraction or a braxton hick?), one of big pieces that we pondered was how to best, and safely, introduce our family dog to baby. To make sure we did it in a way that would keep both the fur and fur-less babies happy, we talked to a few experts including our Vet and my sister (who’s a trained Vet Nurse and works as in animal welfare). They both had some great tips for introducing your newborn to the family dog!

The biggest tip for introducing your newborn to the family dog was to ensure that the dog kept getting the same amount of attention; but that it could come in different forms/from different sources! Here are some more tips on introducing your newborn to the family doggo:

5 things I wish I knew about newborns

Filed Under: BABY, HOME, MOTHERHOOD // February 17, 2022

If you’re a new mum, or mum to be, you’ve probably been there. The endless scrolling and googling on parenting a newborn, the antenatal classes and seeking out advice from friends and family. How do you do this? How do you approach that? Why does my baby do this? Why won’t my baby do that?

You would have searched out the “best quality” advice, the advice that you were positive was correct. However, when that (sometimes not so) tiny bundle is plopped on your chest, it all becomes very clear that your baby did not get the memo on all that research.

As a new mum (my little guy is only 3 months old), I thought that I would collate 5 things that I wish I knew before attempting to tackle parenthood – it might’ve saved some stress and tears, and I hope that it helps you!

Want to feel like an amazing parent?

Filed Under: BABY, HOME, MOTHERHOOD // December 28, 2021

Everyone wants to be a great parent. Figuring out how to do so can be complicated, however. It’s not as though you’re handed a manual once your child is born. That could lead to you looking for things to do when you feel like a bad mum or dad. It could also make you strive to do better. There are multiple ways to be an amazing parent. It doesn’t have to be as difficult as you’d think. Doing everything you can to make the best decisions for your child will be enough. You can do that in a few ways. While it’ll take effort, it’s much simpler than you’d expect.

Easy Ways To Be A Great Parent

Be A Role Model

It’s easy to tell your child how they should behave. It’s harder to show them, although it’s something that you’ll need to do. You should be a good role model.

People learn by imitating, especially during their early years. Being a positive example during this time is essential.

Your child is likely to do as you do. If there’s something that you don’t want them replicating, then don’t engage in that behavior.

The opposite can be said for positive behaviour you want them to engage in. The more you do it, the more they will. It could also be a great way to build a relationship with them.

Show Your Love

There’s no such thing as loving your child too much. You’ll need to show them that you love them, however. That shouldn’t be done with presents.

If you typically show your love by giving gifts a lot, you could spoil them. It’s much more recommended that you show them with acts of love, such as hugs.

Spending time with them as much as you can is also suggested. It’ll show them that you support them and are there for them without spoiling them.

Talk With Your Child

You’ll already know the importance of communication in daily life. That’s especially true with work and with your partner.

Many people overlook it when it comes to their child, however. You’ll need to communicate with them regularly, regardless of what age they are.

That doesn’t simply mean talking to them. You’ll need to be an active listener. Doing so will help your relationship with them flourish.

There are other benefits to this. You can help their brain develop. By using their brain to communicate regularly, your child exercises certain parts of their brain.

That should be enough of a reason to speak with them as much as you can.

How To Be An Amazing Parent: Wrapping Up

Everyone wants to know how to be an amazing parent. While there’s a lot of advice that you can follow, these can depend significantly on you and your child.

You’ll need to adapt to you and their needs and preferences. Focusing on their best interests will be a priority.

Doing so will make sure that you’re an amazing parent. While your child mightn’t always agree with you, looking out for them will be the most effective way of parenting.

Top Tips for Babies Sleep 0-6 months

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST // November 10, 2021

My Top Tips for Babies Sleep 0-6 months – Sleep by Alexandra

I understand first hand just how important sleep is for both baby and parents. Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on the whole family — not just your child. Studies have shown that sleep deprived households have heightened emotions, can suffer from depression or anxiety and can even develop health issues. This is why sleep is so important.
You generally do not ‘sleep train’ babies until they are 6 months+ as this is normally when we are able to start encouraging sleeping through the night. However, with younger babies it is still beneficial to instil good sleep habits early on.

Here are a few points that I recommend you start with to help establish a good routine-

• Try to maintain a regular feeding and napping routine during the day. Now this is a challenge with a newborn so definitely do not put pressure on yourself; take your time and take each successful feed/nap as a win. Even a very relaxed routine will help, as the aim is to maximise the difference between daytime naps and overnight sleep. Daytime naps can be around noise, bright daylight and in the sitting room. Overnight sleep should be quiet (unless using white noise), in the parent’s bedroom and with little/no light. This will help develop your baby’s internal body clock/circadian rhythm. After 6 weeks, their circadian rhythm has typically set.

• Notice your baby’s cues. Signs like rubbing their eyes, yawning, or pulling on their ears are indicators that your baby is tired. Signs like fussing, impatience, clumsiness indicates that your baby is overtired.

“Be kind to yourself, always”

• Focus on effective feeding. This will determine how long your baby is satisfied for between each feed. Again just do what you can, having a newborn is a whirlwind and they can sometimes feed round the clock so trust your instincts. If you have any concerns, contact your GP or Health Visitor.

• Evening routine. It is never too soon to implement a nice bedtime routine. This can be very simple. To make bath time relaxing, a little baby massage after a bath can be lovely to help release Tryptophan, which encourages Serotonin. Both are happy chemicals that promote healthier and better-quality sleep.

• Room temperature. Having the right room temperature can make a big difference. Around 18-20 degrees Celsius is ideal.

• Baby’s room. Try to ensure baby’s room is a peaceful place. As baby is in with the parents until at least 6 months try to keep the room decluttered, not too much noise (unless using white noise) and no bright lights.

• Be kind to yourself. Remember we are simply developing a good routine at this age, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t all fall into place on your first try. Sleeping well is a learned skill, try not to put pressure on yourself. You are doing a great job mama!

Different children need different amounts of sleep. Getting those crucial naps in place, can really help encourage better night time sleep.

Here is a handy nap guide – (nap duration & number of naps)

💙 Newborn-6 weeks – 15mins-4hours with between 4/8 naps a day

💚 6 weeks-3 months – 30mins-2 hours with between 3/5 naps a day

💛 3 months-6 months – 30mins-2 hours with between 3/4 naps a day

If you would like anymore information on your little one’s sleep, check out my Website or Instagram.
Exclusive 10% discount for That Mama Club readers off of any of my Online Sleep Success Guides –

Newborn 0-6 months

Baby 6-12 months

Toddler 12-18 months

Child 18 months-5 years

Once downloaded, you get to keep the guide forever. Simply use code: TMC10.
Good Luck,

Alexandra x

Sleep by Alexandra helps your family sleep better so you can enjoy more time together. Alexandra Collingbourne is a sleep consultant specialising in safe, holistic methods of getting your baby, toddler or young child to sleep in a way that empowers parents to live better, happier and with more energy. Specialist postnatal depression & anxiety support is also available for those who need it.

Getting to the Bottom of Nappy Rash!

Filed Under: BABY // November 2, 2021

With Metanium’s resident midwife, Heather Morris

When your baby is suffering from nappy rash, it can be upsetting to see your little one in discomfort. So, as a parent, you want to ensure you are following the correct advice when it comes to both treating nappy rash and protecting your baby’s delicate skin. With a vast amount of information out there, it can be hard to separate fact from fiction, but to help shed some light, Metanium’s resident midwife, Heather Morris, answers some of the most frequently asked questions around nappy rash.

How to differentiate between nappy rash, eczema, or a reaction?

“Nappy rash is an irritation to the skin that is often caused by wet or dirty nappies being in contact with a baby’s bottom for a long period of time. It is recognised by a well-defined red rash with some areas of the skin appearing raised or swollen around the nappy area. It does not tend to involve the skin creases and your baby may be distressed or agitated due to itching or pain.

“An allergic reaction will appear red and itchy around the areas that have been in contact with the irritant, such as the elastic part of the nappy, around the waist and thighs. There may also be visible swelling, or small blisters.

“An eczema rash is unlikely to develop in the nappy area as this is often a well-hydrated part of the body. However, if there is a family history of very dry skin, this should be considered – particularly if the rash appears within the skin folds.”

Is nappy rash itchy/painful?

“Nappy rash can be itchy and painful for your baby, but by following these simple steps you can help to alleviate discomfort”

Change wet or dirty nappies as soon as possible.
Clean the whole nappy area gently but thoroughly, wiping from front to back. Use water or fragrance-free and alcohol-free baby wipes.
Bath your baby daily – but avoid bathing them more than twice a day as that may dry out their skin. Do not use soap, bubble bath, or lotions.
Dry your baby gently after washing them – avoid vigorous rubbing.
Do not use talcum powder as it contains ingredients that could irritate your baby’s skin.

“When nappy rash does occur, use an effective treatment such as Metanium’s Nappy Rash Ointment (the Yellow One) to soothe irritation and reduce redness.”

Do babies get nappy rash when teething?

“Nappy rash is common when teething, possibly due to the increase in saliva production in the mouth being swallowed. This can bring on diarrhoea, meaning a higher chance for nappy rash.”

Can nappy rash cause fever?

“Common, uncomplicated nappy rash is unlikely to cause a fever in your baby. However, if the rash is severe or there are many infected areas, it is possible for a fever to develop. It is important to consider other symptoms that your baby may have – for example, diarrhoea or constant crying may indicate an alternative cause for the fever.”

Can nappy rash spread?

“It is unlikely that nappy rash will spread beyond the area that the nappy is in contact with. If your baby does have a rash that extends beyond the nappy area, then please see your GP for some advice.”

Can nappy rash go away naturally?

“Yes, uncomplicated nappy rash can go away naturally, especially if your baby is allowed to spend time without the constraints of a nappy on. Most babies really enjoy that feeling of freedom when they can kick freely.”

Does my choice of nappy make a difference to nappy rash?

“Yes, your choice of nappy can affect nappy rash, particularly if the nappy is too tight or too loose for your baby’s size. Too tight and there’s no air circulating around your baby’s bottom and chaffing can occur, too loose and your baby’s wee and poo can spread further across the surface area of the skin.”

“Disposable nappies are made in many different shapes and sizes for the weight of your baby, and you will probably need to try a few brands before you find the one that best suits your own baby.

“Parents should also avoid tight fitting plastic pants over nappies as they hold moisture easily and can make symptoms worse.

“Whichever nappy you choose, it is important that they are changed frequently throughout the day, and that your baby’s skin is cleaned with water or fragrance-free wipes. The key to preventing nappy rash is protecting your baby’s delicate skin. After cleansing, dry the skin gently and apply a thin layer of barrier cream such as Metanium‘s Everyday Barrier Ointment and try to allow as much nappy free time as possible to enable air circulation.”

Is nappy rash fungal?

“Whilst nappy rash isn’t fungal, prolonged dampness within the nappy can sometimes lead to a fungal infection. Fungal nappy rash usually has a bright red appearance and can be widespread.

“If your baby has a course of antibiotics for an infection, this may also lead to a fungal nappy rash. Fungal nappy rash is treatable, and your GP will be able to offer you advice.”

Nappy rash is not an uncommon irritation in a baby’s life, so, from the moment your little one is born, until they are out of nappies, the Metanium range is here to help look after your baby’s delicate skin all year round.

The Purple One helps protect:

Applying a thin layer of Metanium’s Everyday Barrier Ointment after each nappy change forms a protective layer on baby’s bottom, helping to shield the skin from irritation-inducing nasties. As well as protecting the skin, the gentle formula seals in the skin’s natural moisture keeping skin soft, smooth, and supple too.

It also comes in a handy spray bottle – Metanium’s Everyday Easy Spray Barrier Lotion is quick and simple-to-use, especially when you are out and about. No need to rub in, simply spray twice and pat gently for even coverage.

The Yellow One treats:

For those moments when nappy rash does occur, choose Metanium’s Nappy Rash Ointment.

Suitable to use from birth onwards, the Yellow One is specially designed to treat and soothe irritation and redness, so your little one can be back smiling in no time*.

All Metanium products are unscented and 100% vegan friendly. Available from: Amazon, Asda, Boots, Morrisons, Sainsbury’s, Superdrug, Tesco, Waitrose, Wilkinson, Lloyds Pharmacy and independent chemists.

Join the Metanium conversation at www.metanium.co.uk or on Instagram and Facebook

*Metanium Nappy Rash Ointment is a medicine. Always read the label.

HOW TO BUY THE BEST CLOTHES FOR YOUR BABY

Filed Under: BABY // September 9, 2021

Ad | COLLABORATIVE POST

They grow so fast. You’re putting your baby in a newborn outfit and then you blink and they are 18 months old. Shopping for babies is just so difficult because there are so many great outfits out there that you want to see your little one in whether it’s little dresses or the cutest suspenders you have ever laid eyes on. The truth is, baby clothes have to be practical and durable for all that your baby is going to put them through. Here are a few tips for picking the best clothes for your baby.

Buy What’s Comfortable

Your baby is going to be doing a lot of sleeping. Even though someone purchased that cute little outfit for them, they won’t know the difference. Buy baby clothes that are comfortable. Just as we want to be comfortable while we are sleeping, your baby wants to be comfortable too. Buy lightweight fabrics like cotton that are breathable and soft on your baby’s skin. Also, buy outfits that are going to make it easier for you to remove when your baby’s diaper has to be changed, which is going to be about ten times a day at least.

Check the Quality of the Outfit

A lot of times, clothes are made so fast the stitching can be off or the cut can be askew. When those little outfits are being embroidered, they can go a little off unless the clothing is made in a reliable factory that uses Midwest Machinery embroidery machines. This is not always the case, so it’s best to check the clothing to make sure it was made to specifications and it was made to suit the comfort of your baby.

What’s the Weather Outside?

Buy ahead for your baby so that you aren’t stuck down the line. Determine what size your baby is going to be in what month so that you can match their outfit to the season. It is a good idea to have outfits for all four seasons of your baby’s first year of life. Snowsuits, sweaters, light jackets, and short sets are all good to have on hand in the proper sizes for your child. You are not going to want to have a summer outfit in a 5 month size if your baby is going to be a year old in the summer. Plan accordingly and save time and money.

Buy Machine Washable

There is no need for a baby to have dry clean only clothes. Everything you buy should be machine washable. Food is going to get spit up, food is going to spill, bottles are going to leak, and diapers are going to fail. Buy outfits that you can slip off of your baby and put directly into the washing machine. You are not going to want spills on something that can only be dry cleaned. You are so busy that by the time you get to the dry cleaners, that spill is going to be a stain that can’t get removed.

PICCOLO RECYCLABLE BABY POUCHES | REVIEW

Filed Under: BABY, ECO PARENTING, MOTHERHOOD // August 23, 2021

What’s yellow, organic and will never end up in a landfill? The brand new Piccolo recyclable baby pouches obviously.

Brightly coloured and the perfect size for grabbing and popping in the change bag for those trips to the beach and zoo. We all know nothing compares to the ease of a pouch on the go, and these are the ideal snack size.

The smoothies are a great consistency as I’ve found some pouches can be really runny. The tropical flavours also smelt really great and Amelia ate the whole thing whilst waving her arms around and telling me off for not spooning it into her mouth fast enough which is definitely a good sign.

The smoothies are fab for allergy babes too as they’re dairy free and gluten free, and vegetarian. I know a lot of mamas spend ages reading the backs of things in supermarkets and all of this information is really obvious on the packaging.

So much about this product makes it clear how much Piccolo cares. They are palm oil free which is fantastic and really important for our planet. Piccolo also give 10% of profits back to charities supporting local families. Family is not obviously an important part of their brand as all of their ingredients are sourced from independent family farms and they are totally organic. They’ve offset the carbon related to their company activities and are working on the carbon used in production in order to become the UK’s first carbon neutral baby food brand.

Once you’ve finished the pouches you can wash them out, and you can fit up to 10 empty pouches back into the boxes to be returned for recycling as the whole pouch is made from just one material. They are palm oil free too which is fantastic and really important for our planet.

The process is very easy and once you’ve packaged the empties up, you just scan the QR code on the back to print the postage label, and send off. Only 20% of local councils recycle the kind of plastic used curb side, so being able to send the pouches back so easily and for free is brilliant. They can then be used again and again to make more Piccolo pouches! How neat! The fact that the whole pouch is one material and can be recycled is a game changer and the ease of returning them means hopefully people will get on board.

I’m really conscious about living sustainably and not becoming overrun with plastic which can be a massive challenge with young children as everything seems to be made from plastic and then wrapped in more plastic. Piccolo are really a step ahead of the rest with this idea and I’m definitely here for it.

Have you tried the Piccolo recyclable baby pouches?

REVIEW WRITTEN BY JODI-LEE @OURLIFEWITHOPIE

OUR DAIRY FREE BABY

Filed Under: BABY, CMPA, GUEST POST, HOME // April 12, 2021

WRITTEN BY CARLA LAWRENCE (GUEST WRITER)

Carla is here today to share her experience raising her dairy free baby, top tips & the signs to look out for!

We were just one week into the life of parenting when my husband and I glanced at each other from across the bed wondering what we had done to our perfect life. Our beautiful baby girl was what I could only describe as, ‘broken’ and as bad as that sounds, it’s truly the only way I remember her in her first two months on this earth.

“Why won’t she stop crying?”

“Why is she spotty?”

“Why is she so sick?”

Everyone talks to you about the new born bubble and how amazing it is. To me, those first couple of months were a blurry memory of tears, sickness and exhaustion.

Colic and reflux was the initial diagnosis from our health visitor but I knew in my gut it was something more. I literally could not lay this baby down until she had been upright for a good 30 minutes after having her bottle. I remember the sick would reach one end of the living room from the other.

Luckily only the year before I had convinced my husband it would be a better idea to get a wooden floor rather than carpet…

But for as tough as it was, my heart was still very much full. She wasn’t perfect, but she was my perfect, so I continued on and I taught myself what made her, and how to make her, happy and as comfortable as possible.

I used to pace the living room floor, she loved music, so I would turn it right up and walk with her in my arms until she was in a deep enough sleep to be put down. Pram walks were pretty much non-existent as she just screamed the entire journey.

Around the time we had her, three of our other close friends had babies, who were all thriving, and I began to ask myself why I got the short straw with the ‘broken’ one.

I would go to toddler groups and baby classes and bring with me an entire change bag full of muslins and new bibs because she would always be sick two or three times at least. In almost all her photos as a baby, there was a bib covering her beautiful outfits. I was a superhero when it came to spew-catching reflexes.

MY DAIRY FREE BABY

And finally, we had her eight-week review. Everything changed from this point on.

The doctor asked me how I was getting on and she could see the struggle in my eyes. No one wants to admit something is ‘wrong’ with their baby. But as soon as she got me talking, she knew straight away our daughter had a dairy intolerance (or CMPA intolerance/allergy).

The Signs –

Severe Sickness
Trapped Wind
Skin rash – particularly on her face and chest area
Constipated – sometimes a week with no movements

From then, I joined every Facebook group imaginable and read every Mums Net forum I could on dairy intolerances and allergies in infants. We were given a prescription milk plus a milk thickener to help her tummy digest it better. After a couple of weeks of finding a formula that suited her best, it was as if someone came to our house and collected our ‘broken’ baby, to swap her with a new one.

We still had the odd bad days here and there, but the difference was unbelievable, and it’s such a common problem when I started asking other mums about it.

We were referred to a dietician to help us with the weaning process and we were given a ‘dairy ladder’ to work our way through. I saw many versions of these online, but nothing was quite as simple and straightforward as the one we received. So I’ve recreated it, in case you are interested! Please note you should always seek medical advice if you find yourself in this situation, I am certainly no expert.

At around one year, we then discovered the word ‘atopic’, which is a genetic tendency to develop allergic diseases including skin allergies and asthma. Of course, it wouldn’t be as easy for us as just getting some fancy milk(!)

Back to the doctors we went, where we were given a multitude of steroid creams, ointments, soaps, and shampoos to try and find something that suited her skin.

We also discovered that when she picked up a cough or cold she was completely floored and it would remain in her chest for about three weeks at least, the doctor told us that with the existing conditions she had, it could be likely she has mild asthma. We were then given two inhalers to help with her chest too.

Three years on now, we are at the top of the ladder, thankfully, and she can have dairy without any major issues. If she has had quite a lot of dairy, we still have skin issues, be it scalp problems or rashes on her body. And she can still go for days without a poo!

But other than that, she is practically perfect. And as I now anticipate the arrival of our second baby, I don’t sit with any fear at all.

As mums we are ready and willing to learn whatever we have to do to help our babies and I just think if baby number two is the same, then I’ll be an expert in knowing exactly what he or she needs.

My Tips

Follow the ladder for a week at each stage, going back to the previous stage if you come across any hurdles. On day one start with a taste and increase as the week goes on. Don’t include any other dairy for the week so you can rule out any other potential reactions.

Early weaning, speak to your health visitor regarding this, but we began at five months old and she thrived when it came to weaning.

The Annabel Karmel book actually discusses a bit about dairy intolerances and I found the recipes really easy to make and adapt with substitutes if need be.

Go with your gut, I was adamant I knew something was upsetting my baby, and as a first-time mum I wish I was more confident with the health visitor and doctor. If you think something is wrong, make it known.

Help your child understand, as a three year old now, we still have to take extra care of her skin when she’s been exposed to a lot of dairy. Her scalp will often get sore and her skin will sometimes come up in rashes. I explain to her that sometimes her body doesn’t like certain things and that’s how it shows it to her. We got this lovely little book from a fellow allergy mum over on Instagram, Matilda has an allergy, which focuses on a nut allergy and it’s a fantastic way of letting her become allergy aware. You can find them on Instagram, @allergystars

And finally…

Create your own path, you’ll hear things that work for other CMPA mums, just go with what works for you, try not to get too caught up in what others are doing. You’ll get there in your own time. This is also why I don’t recommend any particular books or guides, everyone’s journey is completely different, and you’ll discover your own perfect one.

You got this Mama!

YOU CAN FIND CARLA ON;

INSTAGRAM: THE.HONEST.MUMMY

We hope you enjoyed Carla’s post on raising her dairy free baby, and that it has helped others who might be struggling!

COMMON BABY SLEEP MYTHS

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST // April 8, 2021

WRITTEN BY DIVYA RATHORE (GUEST WRITER)

No antenatal class or parenting book can ever prepare you for the sleep deprivation you experience when you become a first-time mum. It was brutal with my eldest daughter. She was such a challenging sleeper; she woke every hour at night, she would only sleep in my arms for every single nap, it would take forever to rock her to sleep and she would be up 20 minutes later!

I was so sleep deprived and I felt guilty that I wasn’t fully enjoying being a mum. My mummy friends would always talk about their perfect little sleepers who slept through the night, and I constantly felt like I was doing something wrong.

Everyone I asked for help, kept telling me to sleep train my little girl by leaving her alone to ‘cry it out’. This didn’t feel right to me, but I tried it once, for all of two minutes, and my daughter ended up hysterical and vomited all over herself. I never tried it again, but I was desperate to improve her sleep because I felt like I was close to breaking-point.

I started reading and researching about infant sleep biology, and I found so much misinformation and contradictory advice around baby sleep. I eventually decided to train as a Paediatric sleep consultant in an attempt to empower parents with accurate, evidence-based information, so they are able to make the best possible decisions for their family.

I have worked with families around the world, and there are some common baby sleep myths I always hear. Here are my top 5 most annoying sleep tales which I’m on a mission to bust:

COMMON BABY SLEEP MYTHS

MYTH 1 – YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR CHILD ‘HOW’ TO FALL ASLEEP

Sleep is not a learned skill. It is not your job to teach your little one how to sleep, it is simply a normal, essential, biological function, that your baby has been doing since they were safe and snug in your womb. While you don’t need to teach your baby how to sleep, you can help provide the optimal conditions for slumber so that your little one is getting the best quantity and quality of sleep that is age and developmentally appropriate.

MYTH 2 – BREASTFEEDING TO SLEEP IS A BAD HABIT

No, no, no! How could something that mothers have been doing for generations be a ‘bad habit. Breastfeeding is in fact designed to help your baby to fall asleep – here’s how:

During suckling at the breast, the hormone Cholecystokinin is released in both mum and baby, which makes your little one feel full, relaxed and sleepy.
At night time a mother’s milk contains substantial levels of the hormone melatonin, aka the ‘sleep’ hormone because it makes us feel sleepy. So nursing could provide babies with melatonin via breast milk, which could in turn help to improve our little one’s night time sleep.
Breast milk also has other super ingredients which could aid sleep in younger babies, like the amino acid Tryptophan, which is used by the body to make melatonin.

So, if nursing to sleep makes biological sense, why are we telling mothers not to do something that is perfectly natural?

A common perception is that by nursing your baby to sleep, she won’t know how to connect sleep cycles, and will always need to be nursed back to sleep. In some cases that may happen, but I have worked with many families who continue to nurse to sleep and have tots sleeping blissfully at night. How you put your baby to sleep is entirely your choice, so if nursing works for you, then enjoy it WITHOUT any mum guilt. My youngest daughter is now 2-years old and I’m still nursing her to sleep for naps because it works for us.

MYTH 3 – YOU NEED TO LEAVE YOUR BABY ALONE TO ‘CRY IT OUT’ TO IMPROVE SLEEP

I understand how difficult sleep deprivation is, so I never judge anyone’s parenting choices. I just want to reassure you that you don’t have to leave your baby alone to cry for any amount of time, in order to improve sleep.

I know the parenting books, ‘experts’, google and your mama friends may tell you differently, but I promise, ‘cry it out’ is not a quick-fix that will sort all your tot’s sleep issues. If your goal is to teach your baby to fall asleep with less help from you, there are so many other evidence-based, gentle, responsive and holistic strategies to help improve your baby’s sleep.

I have worked with countless families who have seen age and developmentally appropriate progress without resorting to any form type of cry it out. Don’t feel pressurised into doing anything that goes against your parenting instincts. You know your baby better than anyone else.

MYTH 4 – CAT NAPS DON’T COUNT AS PROPER SLEEP

I’m constantly hearing how ‘cat’ naps don’t count as proper sleep for babies and that they are somehow inferior to ‘longer’ naps. Well, mamas and papas, let me assure you, that’s a widespread myth!

A baby’s sleep cycle is around 50-60 minutes long and when we talk about a ‘cat nap’ we’re typically referring to a nap that lasts less than one sleep cycle. Short naps are often a worry for parents but they are not necessarily a problem for your little one; your tot may genuinely only need to snooze for 30-40 minutes, or even much less.

It is age and developmentally normal for babies under 6-months to have multiple short naps throughout the day and these naps are typically not predictable or organised.

By 6-months naps usually become more organised, with your tot having fewer and longer naps. But some babies don’t start sleeping longer chunks during the day, until they become much more physically active, like when they start crawling and walking. And there are plenty of older tots who simply don’t need to nap longer than one sleep cycle, but they sleep blissfully at night and are thriving perfectly.

Remember, there is only so much sleep your tot needs in 24 hours. It’s important to look at how much sleep your little one is getting over the entire day and not just for a single nap. Your baby may have cat naps but sleeps for a long stint at night, or vice versa, where your tot has a lot of day sleep and only sleep 10 or less hours at night.

Every baby is different and will have different sleeping patterns and they certainly don’t all need to have a chunky 2-hour nap every day. So, although short naps have a pretty bad reputation they do count as ‘proper sleep’ for your tot and encouraging your child to sleep more than they need to during the day, can impact night sleep!

MYTH 5 – YOUR BABY SHOULD BE SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT BY 6 MONTHS

‘Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?’ How many times have you been asked this question? There is so much pressure on parents to encourage their babies to start sleeping through the night as early as possible. If babies haven’t reached this milestone by 6-months, often parents worry they are doing something wrong or that their baby has a sleep problem.

But it is absolutely normal for your tot to wake in the night for at least the first year of their life. Research shows:

The majority of infants 6-12 months still regularly wake at least once a night, although nocturnal waking does typically reduce with age.
By about 18 months, around a quarter of babies, on average, still wake at least one during the night.

I wouldn’t get too fixated on the research as this is only based on data on some babies and your child may not necessarily ‘fit’ these average patterns found in the research. Just remember, every baby is different and will reach the ‘sleeping through the night’ milestone when they are biologically ready to do so.

There are plenty of other sleep myths I’ve come across, so next time you hear something that doesn’t sound quite right, just trust your maternal instincts, you’re almost always likely to be right.

You can find Divya on Instagram where she shares lots of advice and information on infant sleep – https://www.instagram.com/blissfultots/

Visit blissful tots (www.blissfultots.com) for more information

THE FOURTH TRIMESTER

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, MOTHERHOOD, POST BABY, POSTPARTUM, PREGNANCY // February 20, 2021

BY HAYLEY MILLINGTON (GUEST WRITER)

Millie’s Birth ended up being a very positive one for me. I wanted a home birth in a pool but ended up doing 12 hours labour at home with no pain relief and then an ambulance trip to the hospital, because I was pushing but she wasn’t moving. We were told in hospital she was back to back and the doctor manually turned her before an episiotomy to get her out. I felt So proud of myself and felt cared for in the hospital, which we decided to stay in overnight for some breastfeeding help and reassurance as new parents. In the time after leaving the hospital it really caught up on me what my body had been through. This was inevitably the fourth trimester.

THE FOURTH TRIMESTER

The pain of the episiotomy was uncomfortable and if that wasn’t enough, the post labour bleeding made my pelvic floor feel heavier and swollen too.

Getting about was hard , a few days after birth we wanted to go for a walk in the fresh air and it took what would usually take 10 minutes to the garden centre and back, a good 40 minutes!

I was loving the new born bubble I was in, dark nights were drawing in and it was getting colder out, so having a baby in October meant we could hibernate and really get to know our new daughter.

But everyday was hard for me, emotions were high with lack of sleep, my milk coming in added extra pain and I was already struggling with breastfeeding.

More than anything I was having to deal with the after effects of the episiotomy, It meant I couldn’t just get up to pick up my baby from her Moses basket, I couldn’t sleep next to her in bed and so she’d be passed over to me and then I would pass her back for a nappy change.

Almost every day we had visitors, I would get myself downstairs ( which also was a slow journey) and then I’d put a pillow under one of my legs so that I could sit as reasonably comfortable as possible.

A week post birth and the pain wasn’t subsiding, so I told my midwife and she agreed that the stitches were taking along time to heal and so it may be worth getting seeing an out of hours doctor to get some antibiotics.

Not only this but Millie’s belly button had also become infected so she would also need to go to the doctor as soon as possible.

The week after, things were starting to get a little easier – I was still in pain down below but was sure to be following the midwives tips, which were, not to use soap when showering, not to soak in a bath, lay on a towel to dry after a shower and to give the stitches some air, don’t go for long walks which increases the blood flow to your pelvic floor, freeze maternity pads and change them more regularly.

My emotional outbursts were starting to subside, I had in the first week, moments where I felt useless and that although my partner Pete was helping in every way possible, I resented him for being able to lift Millie and hold her so easily and often , I felt I was missing out on bonding and all I was being used for was feeding.

I think it hit hard when one day, a different midwife hurried into the house for a quick visit, she was all out of sorts telling us she was in a rush and as soon as she had looked at Millie, she simply said “ Did anyone tell you she had tongue tie?’ Which proceeded with a weigh in and telling us she’d also lost too much weight!

I felt sick – Pete and I looked at each other in shock, I knew we were thinking the same thing “ who the hell is this woman!” She then said She was going to call the hospital and we needed to go right away , next thing she was on her way out of the living room but not without asking if I was eating well and telling me I looked a bit pale !

I literately held back all my tears until she walked out the door and then just broke down whilst I held Millie in my arms.

I’d failed her, I wasn’t producing enough milk and I hadn’t even realised how much weight she’d lost.

After an overnight hospital visit and the doctors confirming she did not have tongue tie ( phew!), we decided to breast and formula feed to help get her weight up and decided I would try and pump in order to see how much I could produce .

Now let me tell you this, Pumping was not something I took to lightly.

The following night as I sat in front of the tele trying to pump for half hour and barely anything coming out, I literately sobbed at the thought of being this thing who’s only job was to produce milk in order to make my tiny human happy , yet it made me feel quite the opposite – I turned to Pete and cried “ I can’t do this , I feel like a cow!”

The next day I had made the decision to stop breastfeeding and go onto formula and I felt so much happier and knew that I also had a happy baby who was being fed too.

The realisation after all of this was that I’d been told about most aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and raising a baby but not one person had told me of just how hard that ‘fourth trimester’ really can be.

I now try my best to check on new mum friends and see how they are feeling after giving birth as it really can feel lonely, tough, emotional and painful even though it’s equally the most amazing experience I have ever endured – and of course, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!

You can read all about the fourth trimester on the NCT website (link), did you experience the fourth trimester?

YOU CAN FIND HAYLEY ON;

INSTAGRAM: MUMMY & MILLIE

WHY SOME WOMEN SAY NO TO BREASTFEEDING

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, MOTHERHOOD // February 19, 2021

BY RHIANNA (GUEST WRITER)

BREASTFEEDING

Hi everyone, first of all I want to thank that mama club for allowing me to write this article and thank you to all of the fellow mamas who are reading this. The aims of all of the articles I write are to help other mama’s feel supported, represented and a little less alone.

A little about me before we get into my article. My name is Rhianna & I am currently training to be a children and families social worker. I started up my own online community to encourage discussions on taboo motherhood topics such as the importance of sexual health during pregnancy and share different motherhood journeys.

Now that you know a little more about me & my background we will get into the nitty gritty! For years breast feeding has been promoted by health care professionals as it provides your baby with the best start in life and we can understand why, as it can help with things such as bonding and building up your baby’s immune system. However, I believe it is important, like with all decisions we make in life that we are able to make informed choices, breastfeeding should be no exception to this and this requires being given all of the information surrounding breast feeding, including the bad. So, in this article, I want to address a few of the reasons why some women may decide not to breastfeed and why it is vital that we support them.

Why do some women say no to breastfeeding?

While I was pregnant with my first child, I was determined that I wanted to breastfeed. I went out and I bought nursing bras, milk storage bags, a breast pump and I even attending breast feeding classes! However, after my quite traumatic birth the thought of having to breastfeed my son seemed like the worst thing ever, I was absolutely exhausted from losing over 1 litre of blood and in excruciating pain from my c section. Once I was able to finally leave hospital and take my son home, I very quickly developed severe post-partum depression and anxiety, which made caring for my new born extremely difficult. Luckily because I had chosen to bottle feed my mom was able to help with night feeds which really helped with my recovery. A traumatic birth or mental health issues are just two of the reasons that women may chose not to breastfeed. Others include:

Loss of body autonomy – Some women who breastfeed may feel that they have lost ownership of their bodies. This loss of bodily autonomy can affect their self-esteem, sex life, and body image which can really impact their decision to continue breastfeeding.

Medical issues – Some women may not be able to breast feed due to health conditions that can cause a low milk supply, or a mom might worry about the medications that she has to take and how it will affect her baby. Women who have had breast cancer may not be able to breastfeed after radiation therapy or a mastectomy. There are also some medical issues, such as HIV, when breastfeeding is not recommended.

Inability to have breaks – breastfeeding, especially exclusive breastfeeding, ties a woman to her baby. It can make having that all important alone time practically impossible and in turn heighten feelings of low mood, mom rage and anxiety.

Lack of support – The task of feeding a baby can fall entirely to the person breastfeeding, especially if the baby will not take a bottle or another caregiver does not bottle-feed the baby. If a partner or another caregiver does not offer help with other tasks, such as household chores, changing nappies, preparing bottles, or getting up at night with the baby, breastfeeding can be exhausting. Again, this leaves the person breastfeeding with little or no time to themselves.

Why is it important to support women who choose not to breastfeed?

One of the best ways you can help a new parent is by supporting their decisions, whether they decide to breastfeed or bottle feed, use jarred food or homemade or if they want to go back to work or stay at home. As a new parent, all you want is to have a happy and healthy baby, you will constantly doubt if the choices you are making are right and if you will be a good parent, you will feel guilty about absolutely everything. We are so harsh on ourselves as parents, the last thing we need is other people judging us as well. Whether these people are family, friends or even health care professionals. It is important that as a mom choosing not to breastfeed her child, as a community we do not make her feel guilty for taking into account her own needs, as a happy and content mom will almost definitely make for a happy and contented baby.

BREASTFEEDING

YOU CAN FIND RHIANNA ON;

INSTAGRAM: MAMA’S TOGETHER

WEBSITE: MAMA’S TOGETHER

PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, MOTHERHOOD, PREGNANCY // February 18, 2021

BY LAURA (GUEST WRITER)

My last post was to raise awareness and to help other people grieve for the loss of a baby – and I really hope it has done that –
I was extremely broken, I couldn’t really see a way out or a way through the heartache but my family and friends got me through it and so did hope.

And my god I had heartache that would hit me at the most random times – a family BBQ would break me and I wouldn’t want to socialise .. I felt so alone and that nobody else was feeling my pain or they was but they wasn’t showing me that they was … or that I was the only one hurting – which wasn’t the case.

PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE

I had ‘hope’ that actually it would happen again, and this time it ‘wasn’t meant to be.’ It was so hard to get my head around and a lot of people told me “it was meant to be” which at the time .. was the worst thing to say. In my eyes It was meant to be it was my baby.

It felt like it was my first pregnancy all over again and any slight pain or movement I was scared, every time I went for a wee I check for blood.. I found myself not wanting to share my news because I felt like a fraud – I’ve told them once and didn’t end up with a baby so how could I announce this again?..

The first 12 weeks were a complete blur! I ignored the whole pregnancy well as much as I could minus the sickness! I didn’t really want to think about it – the NHS have been amazing! – I had a scan at 8 weeks, 10 weeks and then at 12 weeks all reassurance scans ensuring baby was growing and everything was moving in the right direction. With my first little one I read everyday what to expect on the apps and what I’ll be feeling, this time I ignored everything – properly not the right thing to do but I couldn’t believe it was real and I didn’t want to believe that I could also loose this baby.

If I didn’t think about it and didn’t get attached – it wouldn’t matter if anything happened. (Obviously not true) but what I’m trying to say is – have hope. Here I am with my little rainbow currently laying on my chest – My rainbow was due on the same date that I had to have our operation to remove Bee & somehow I found some comfort it that, we waited 3 months after to conceive again & here we are, happy and healthy! My eldest was so excited to be a big brother and I’m so thankful to be able to give him this opportunity, don’t be scared to try again, there’s never a right time … you’ll never heal the pain or replace the baby but you can believe it will happen.

Love me & my babies xx

We want to thank Laura so much for sharing her pregnancy after baby loss post with us. She also shared a miscarriage awareness post that you can find here (link), it is such a beautiful piece of writing and we feel incredibly honoured that Laura shared her journey with us.

YOU CAN FIND LAURA ON:

INSTAGRAM: LIFE WITH MUMMA

MY MIRACLE BABY – BERTIE’S STORY | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, MOTHERHOOD // February 7, 2021

BY TONICHA SPENCER (GUEST WRITER)

Tonicha is sharing her story, all about her miracle baby – Bertie. We have followed her journey on Instagram for a while now & we are so honoured that she has allowed us to share her & Bertie’s story with all of you.

MY MIRACLE BABY

4th July 2020: After 4 long days being induced, at 21.21, Albert Louie Spencer was born! He was the most perfect, tiny 7lb 3oz baby. David & I immediately fell in love with him and everything just seemed to fall into place, so we could never have prepared ourselves for what happened after just 17 short days…

On the morning of July 21st, Bertie started to go blue around his mouth, I contacted the GP who told me it looks fine, he’s not concerned and I can come and get him checked in an hour ‘for peace of mind’.

40 minutes later Bertie had turned a grey colour and wasn’t breathing properly, I had a sick feeling, I knew we couldn’t wait, I called 999 and an ambulance arrived within 6 minutes, they took him to A&E.

Once there, doctor came into the room and asked me what had happened, Bertie was screaming and I was explaining that he’d been going bluer and bluer all morning.. whilst talking to the doctor, just 8 minutes after arriving into A&E Bertie went into cardiac arrest.

I was told to leave the room immediately and the next thing I remember is around 15 doctors and nurses running in looking petrified and shouting to each other. I was screaming for someone to tell me what was happening.

A nurse came and explained ‘Bertie is really really poorly’ I couldn’t understand what was happening and heard the words ‘cardiac arrest’ shouted, I begged the nurse to just tell me what was happening and pleaded with her to tell me he was going to be okay, she kept saying ‘we don’t know at this point, he’s really poorly.’ Bertie went into cardiac arrest again.

At this point, David was on his way, he had no idea how serious it was, as I could barely get my words out on the phone.

I rang my Mum and begged for her to come to the hospital, the nurse said no as the Covid restrictions only allow one extra parent in an emergency situation.

A while later she came out and told me to call my mum and get her to come straight away, at the time I thought she was saying it just to be nice. I now realise she did it because it was so critical, she wanted my Mum with me for when the worst happened…

When Mum & David arrived the nurse took us into a side room where she told us we had to prepare ourselves. He had gone into cardiac arrest three times in total and Bertie was extremely unwell and wasn’t going to make it, she let us go in and be with him, to make him comfortable, to say goodbye.

I felt sick, I felt dizzy, I couldn’t breathe, I had the most excruciating pain in my chest. I screamed and David hugged me.

All I kept thinking was ‘if Bertie dies, I’m going with him’. How could I live without him. How does anybody survive after that.

Looking back, It breaks my heart that I genuinely believed if Bertie died, I would die. If any of you have ever had the experience of thinking you’re going to lose your child, you will understand this feeling, it is the most unbelievable and overwhelming pain any Mother could feel.

I kept asking my Mum ‘what do I do? I don’t know what to do?’, Mum kept telling me I NEEDED to stay positive, I can’t let myself believe that he was dying, if I believed he’d be ok, he would be. I just couldn’t understand what was going on, I didn’t know what to say, how to feel, what to do. I just kept repeating ‘what do I do?’.

We went into the Resus room, Bertie was laid in the middle of the room on a table, more doctors and nurses surrounding him than you can even comprehend, the anaesthetist was sat by his head, she told me to come and stand next to her and talk to him.

I begged him to be okay, I begged him not to leave me, I told him he couldn’t die as we were going to see Nanny & Grandad in Norwich next week, I told him we love him so much, Ashton loves him so much, Darcie loves him so much, he couldn’t leave us. I kissed his tiny little forehead and asked the nurses to put a hat on him as he looked cold.

After spending hours working nothing short of miracles on my little boy, they eventually managed to get him stable enough to go to PICU. Here I was introduced to the lovely nurse that was going to be looking after Bertie that night. I just kept asking her if he was going to survive. No one could tell me. He was in a coma. He was on life support.

My chest just felt like someone was pressing down on it, I could barely breathe. Nobody believed he would make it through the night but he DID. The next day they discovered that the line that had been pumping the adrenaline through his body wasn’t central, meaning it was leaking out into his body, killing his blood vessels, causing him a huge severe and horrific chemical burn to his body.

The burns & plastics surgeon came to assess it, there was talks of amputation, but no one really knew at this point how much damage it had done. Fast forward a few days and the doctors and nurses just couldn’t believe Bertie was still here, they all kept saying he was a miracle, a fighter, the bravest little boy.

They did an MRI scan, this showed that due to the length of time Bertie was without oxygen, it had caused damaged to his cerebellum.

For those that don’t know, this is the area that controls motor functions, walking, talking, smiling, meeting basic milestones etc. They warned us he may not be able to walk, he may not be able to move his arms and legs properly, he may not ever smile, talk properly, meet milestones.

Bizarrely David & I we’re relieved, this was the best case scenario.

All we wanted to know is if he would mentally be okay, if he would know who we are, know Darcie, feel happiness, laughter. We just wanted to know if he would enjoy his life, and these results were confirmation of that.

As long as he was alive, which, at one point was an almost impossible outcome.

They began lowering his sedation, I was terrified he’d be in agony due to his burn- which- at this point had shown just how horrendous it was, it was deep, blistered, bleeding, his skin was dying and coming off, it smelt like burning flesh, I’ll never forget it.

But, nearly two weeks later he’d done it! The ventilator came out, he was breathing by himself, he was weaned off the life support. He was no longer fighting for his life and he was transferred to the High Dependency Unit to recover further.

5th August: Bertie was ready to come home, we couldn’t believe it.

At this point Bertie’s burn was like nothing I’d ever seen before, my heart broke every time I had to change his dressings, he would scream in agony, David and I couldn’t bare it, we dreaded each nappy change. They ruled out amputation and decided to do skin grafts to fix it as it luckily hadn’t killed the nerves or his leg.

Since we were discharged Bertie has had his first skin graft, it went perfectly. It is now healing and looking better than I ever imagined. He will always have a huge scar but it will never look as horrific as the burn originally did. He’s doing amazing.

19th January 2021: Bertie had his second MRI scan, this was just to confirm the damage and check if there had been any changes…. the next day we had a call from an absolutely ELATED consultant, who informed us BERTIE’S BRAIN INJURY HAS COMPLETELY HEALED!!!!!!!

She can’t believe it, neither can we. We’re over the moon, shocked, excited, happy and confused! She confirmed what we already new which is that he is an absolute miracle, my little miracle baby bear.

We are SO proud of him.

He’s the bravest little baby in the world.

He is now suffering with a heart injury but is on medication and we’re hoping- in fact- we KNOW- it’ll improve at some point. It has to.

He is so loved, by me, his daddy, his beautiful big sister Darcie & everyone else who knows him. How can you not?!

YOU CAN FIND TONICHA ON;

INSTAGRAM: MY MIRACLE BEAR

TWIN PREGNANCY & BIRTH | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, BIRTH, GUEST POST, HOME, PREGNANCY // February 5, 2021

BY LAUREY (GUEST WRITER)

The first thing I am usually asked when I tell people I have twins is ‘Wow do they run in your family?’ They don’t and I always feel compelled to answer ‘oh no they’re IVF’. It’s something I’ve always been very open about and will be happy to explain to my beautiful girls when they are old enough to understand. You see, I was never desperate to have children initially, I was married at 31 and we agreed to give it another year until we started trying. Only once we did nothing happened, we started to change our diets, throw out anything with chemicals, get fit and still nothing happened. Another two years went by and then we started to get worried. Despite us never finding a single thing wrong, we ended up in a spiral of failure after failure and started to wonder if it would ever happen for us at all.

The second thing I am always asked is whether twins were a shock and the truth is no, just a beautiful surprise. I was having double embryo transfers each time and in my dreams of motherhood there were always two babies, I went down the Instagram rabbit hole many times looking for successes and hoping that would one day be me. Also my HCG levels were massive, I was having beta tests through my fertility clinic and they were off the scale.

When I saw those two heartbeats on the screen it was like winning the lottery, after all of our struggles we had the opportunity to complete our family in one go, I could finally leave infertility behind me. Pregnancy after infertility never quite allows you to let down your guard however and at six weeks after a massive bleed I was convinced it was all over. Thankfully the girls were fine (apparently this is quite common in a twin pregnancy) but very very scary nonetheless.

My age, IVF and twins combined meant that we ticked many of the boxes for high risk pregnancy. It was reassuring for me however that as the girls were not identical, with their own sacs and placentas I at least didn’t have to worry about twin to twin transfusion, where one baby gets more than the other. My main worry was premature labour, I had no idea how I would carry two when physical strength has never been one of my strong points.

I have been extremely fortunate that despite all of the risks my pregnancy ran very smoothly and the standard of care I received was amazing considering this was all during a pandemic. Yes I was enormous for my build and my feet and hands were really swollen, oh plus I had insomnia from six months that was fun! I did really enjoy it though! That said I was quite happy to never do it again! Having already been injecting myself for IVF regularly (I must have done hundreds) I then had to inject myself with blood thinners into my pregnant belly and then for weeks afterwards and to be honest I don’t think I could put myself through it again if I could conceive at all.

I was offered a c-section as Emily was breech, it’s so difficult to know what to do for the best but I took it and I have no regrets. It ran smoothly, both girls came out fine at healthy weights but the recovery was very traumatic. My husband came to get us from the hospital at midnight as I was so desperate to get us out of there! My blood pressure took weeks to come down.

It’s been a long and difficult road but I would do it all again for my Emily and Isabelle; they amaze me every day, I am so lucky to be their Mummy and can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

YOU CAN FIND LAURA ON:

INSTAGRAM : LAUREYANDTWINS

BABY TONGUE TIE EXPERIENCE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, HOME // February 4, 2021

BY EMILY THOMAS

Hi, I am Emily. Mummy to three; Amari 5, Avery 3 and Aria 15 months.

I’ve breastfed all 3 of them, it was something I always knew I wanted to do. With my first it came naturally but he was diagnosed with CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) at 6 weeks so I became dairy free. My second wanted to feed literally all the time and had really bad reflux but we made it to 16 months of feeding. When I had Aria I thought surely I’m due an easier time, I was wrong, it’s been my toughest feeding journey. I hadn’t even contemplated baby tongue tie, but here was our experience..

BABY TONGUE TIE

I had aria in September 2019, after my longest most traumatic labour. As soon as she was born I had skin to skin, she wasn’t bothered about latching on so daddy had some skin to skin and I tried again, she still wouldn’t latch on properly. After trying for a while I started getting upset so my husband said get showered and calm down and try again. I tried again, she was crying, I was crying so I buzzed the midwife and told her. She told me to just get her to sleep so I did. They then came and said I could go home but I wasn’t happy as she wasn’t feeding.

On the ward Aria still wouldn’t feed so I was told to strip her every 2 hours and express into her mouth. Eventually around 7pm she latched on for a few minutes so they said I could go home and they’d send a breastfeeding midwife first thing tomorrow morning.

Fast forward to day 7 after a week of going to the hospital everyday for jaundice checks and Aria had lost 13.8% of her birth weight, she lost 10% on day 3 and 12.8% on day 5. We were referred to the children’s ward where they took bloods and said they wouldn’t let her leave until they knew she could gain weight. I went home to get our things and when I came back they said her bloods were fine and as long as I followed a feeding plan we could go home. I had to feed her every 3 hours and top up with expressed milk.

I followed the feeding plan and Aria began getting weighed 3 times a week and blood tests once a week. I asked about her latch and if she could be tongue tied and they said it all looked fine. Her weight gain was soooo slow. Around 5 weeks she was 60g below birth weight so I asked the consultant if we could stop top ups and was told I could. 3 days later she’d lost 100g so we went back to tops. Again weight gain was slow. During one of our weekly hospital appointments a consultant said ‘you don’t want to see the breastfeeding support worker while you wait for her bloods do you? You know what you’re doing don’t you?’ I said I would and within seconds of seeing Aria feed she said she thought she was tongue tied.

We got an appointment within a week and Aria did have a tongue tie so they cut it. 5 days later she was finally back to her birth weight at 8 weeks old . I was so relieved. I continued with top ups for a while and slowly started dropping them. Aria was now getting weighed twice a week. Her weight gain was still slow and I was told it was down to my poor quality breastmilk!!! Aria continued having blood tests as her weight gain was slow, they tested liver, kidney function, full blood count and numerous other things.

At 10 weeks she had lost weight again so they said they would test for metabolic disorders. I had no idea what they were and they told me some were life limiting. I was heartbroken. We had to wait for the results over Christmas and I honestly thought she wouldn’t make it to see another Christmas.

At 5 months aria was still below 0.1% centile but the health visitor was happy she was gaining. I was tired of feeding and expressing every 3 hours so I contacted a private lactation consultant and after sending her a video of aria feeding and speaking to her she said Aria was still tongue tied. I took aria to the clinic at 5.5 months and they cut it, twice. They said it was never cut properly the first time. They told me Aria was starving and had no energy which is why she didn’t wake in the night unless I woke her. My poor baby girl. Within a few weeks her weight gain improved so much. I carried on expressing until she was 10 months. She’s 15 months now and I’m still feeding her.

The lactation consultant advised us to take Aria to see an osteopath as she had been tongue tied for so long, then lockdown happened. During lockdown Aria gained weight well but never made any sounds other than when she cried. I took Aria to see an osteopath at 10 months and they said she’d got a lot of jaw tightness and couldn’t move her tongue properly still, she also had some reflex issues, all of this was caused by the fact she was tongue tied for so long. After several sessions Aria finally started to babble and made lots of improvements.

I feel we were let down by our trust. They didn’t once contact me throughout lockdown and she was still underweight and getting weighed every week. I’m waiting to hear back from them, I’ve asked why it took so long to diagnose and why they don’t routinely check.

If your baby loses lots of weight or things just don’t seem right please ask and ask again to check for tongue tie. My baby was starving but I’m lucky she’s her with me today, the next baby might not be so lucky.

YOU CAN FIND EMILY ON;

INSTAGRAM: _EMILY_THOMAS_

MISCARRIAGE AWARENESS | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, PREGNANCY // January 28, 2021

BY LAURA (GUEST WRITER)

I want to share this with you all, its not nice its a completely taboo subject, but it should have a voice, and should be spoken about and listened to. So it’s hard to know where to start… the exciting little secret that we don’t tell anybody because we are waiting for our ”safe 12 weeks..” but if we haven’t told anybody… how can people help us grieve?… I want to help raise some miscarriage awareness.

Maybe I’ll start with the drive home from work, full day at work completed never did I think my day would end the way it did. A funny little pain in my side that just wouldn’t go away. So when I got home I ran myself a bath (something I never do) as I thought it would help the aching feeling. It didn’t and I got inpatient and got out.

I went to the toilet and there was a tiny bit of blood, but that was okay, I had been there before and carried a healthy happy baby. But it wasn’t right.., I said to myself something isn’t right. I told my partner and he reassured me, you’ve felt poorly before, you’ve bled before you’ll be okay.
No I said! We’re having a scan tonight, so I called the private clinic and they could see me in an hour. As my partner was confident I said to him you stay home and put our little one to bed & ill ask my sister in law to come with me. Never did I imagine what we was about to encounter.

In the waiting room we joked about men being laid back and telling us everything is fine when we feel a bit funny and how its nice to get some reassurance. The workers were very touchy and nice but we joked about that to. I laid on the bed waiting to hear that everything was fine and I needed to take it easy.
The lady asked me to move in all different positions, lifting my bum up, holding my hands underneath. The other lady turned the screen off, I should of known at that point it wasn’t going to end well. The lady looked for ages on the screen. She pulled out the scanner and said the three words I never even imagined. “There’s no heartbeat”.

My whole world crashed before my eyes. No heartbeat, means no baby. That means no birth, no birthdays, no Christmas’, no sibling. I couldn’t even process the words, I didn’t even know what happened next.
How do I tell my partner that I failed to carry his child? How do I tell my parents my body failed to carry their grandchild safely. How do I tell my toddler that mummy’s baby isn’t coming anymore. My body failed…I failed… Why has this happened to me!?…

Is it because I ran up the stairs too fast? Did I stress to much? Did I buy the little outfit to soon because I didn’t wait for 12 weeks?! Was I not conscious enough, I told a handful of people our exciting news. But only because of the sicky mornings and because I would go out and not be drinking at weddings and hen do’s. So it was an exciting little secret to share. I’m sorry I did. Because now I have to tell you I’ve failed.
Nobody knows what to say. Everybody is sorry. There are so many questions I needed answers to but I had to be strong. I had to be grateful for the little one I have at home so I pushed everyone away and told them “it just wasn’t meant to be” but it was meant to be. Our baby was going to make us a family of four. I didn’t even know how I would tell people, Do I tell people I have two children? If I have another baby technically that’s my third pregnancy. So yes I have two children one which has wings or do I ignore that pregnancy because it was the worst nightmare you could ever wish upon anyone.

My dad told me to stop being so tough and broke down the wall inside of me which allowed me to cry and be sad. So actually my little bee deserves to be remembered because we did see their heartbeat looking like a little diamond ring flicking in the sunshine. And you know what I can feel sad and I can grieve for my baby.

Because Bee deserves to be remembered. And other Mummies and Daddies, and Aunties and Uncles and Grandparents need to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to feel sad, and angry at the world, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to remember.

I joined a group online to help. At first I thought it was rubbish and everyone was talking about their new pregnancies and rainbow babies – something I didn’t even want to think about. I saw a post about a lady that was pregnant and her words were “I wish I wasn’t pregnant this summer, none of my clothes fit me” – it took all of me not to tell her where to go. The group helped me to understand I needed closure. I felt raw and it was never going to leave me. A lot of families said how they buried their baby, with a plant or cremated the baby. Panic then set in – I hadn’t even asked where my baby was after the baby being removed by surgery my whole world was upside down. I didn’t even know where my baby was. My partner told me to stop reading them as he didn’t believe them. But it played on my mind too much.

I called the hospital to ask. The lady was horrified that we hadn’t been given the option to collect the baby after my surgery (the experience of loosing the baby is something I am not ready to talk about yet.) The lady was lovely, her name was Helen and she was calm and understanding. She looked into it and with about half an hour called back with something that made me smile. I was so relieved. The baby was there and we could decide what we wanted to do. I could bring our baby home. I could remember my baby and I will remember my baby.

So I’ve been told so many times, 1 in 4 women go through a miscarriage, I’m not a statistic. I never wanted to prove the statistic right or wrong. I am a Mummy, a Mummy of two and my baby is a baby it’s not 1 in 4 … it’s our baby, that we will miss dearly but will always have a place in our hearts, our homes and our memories.

YOU CAN FIND LAURA ON:

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MY POSTNATAL DEPRESSION EXPERIENCE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, BIRTH TRAUMA, GUEST POST, HOME, MENTAL HEALTH, PPD // January 23, 2021

BY AMY MCLAREN (GUEST WRITER)

When I gave birth it was quite surreal and traumatic, I ended up with an emergency section and can’t remember much of the first moments with my daughter, I couldn’t hold her until I came to which was at least an hour after she was born, I woke in recovery to find my partner feeding her which was amazing too but I was upset that I didn’t get that skin to skin I hoped for. I had to stay in due to a post dura headache caused by the epidural and I couldn’t look after her much and due to the pandemic my partner was only allowed in for half an hour each day. I remember one of the girls in the ward saying to me when it gets to day 5 and you can’t stop uncontrollably crying don’t worry it’s just the baby blues and you will feel better in time.

3 days later I got out and wow it hit me like a tonne of bricks, I was sobbing uncontrollably and felt like I couldn’t bond with my baby, it sounds strange but I couldn’t believe she was mine she was so perfect and I actually thought what if they’ve given me the wrong baby.

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION

When I couldn’t stop crying I turned to my partner and said do you think I could have postnatal depression and he asked the question that will always stick in my brain “well do you love her” obviously I did so It can’t be that I thought.

In the weeks that followed we were so busy with visitors I didn’t have time to think about how I was feeling and then my partner went back to work. I eventually had some quiet quality time with my baby and we really bonded and I love every minute of our time together, however I was still crying daily, I felt like every day was Groundhog Day, I tried to drive to the supermarket and panicked and couldn’t park my car, I didn’t want to go out, answer the door or phone which is not like me at all.

I had to isolate for two weeks also and that made it even worse, eventually it was having an effect on my relationship I couldn’t see the fun in life and I knew this isn’t what motherhood should be so took the plunge and spoke to my health visitor & doctor to get help.

To sum up, postnatal anxiety & depression is not what you might think. The comment made innocently by my boyfriend “do you love her” still sticks in my mind 6 months on. Before I had a baby that’s exactly what I thought postnatal depression would be, that you don’t love your baby, you can’t look after them, you can’t get out of bed, look after your appearance, house etc. In actual fact it’s sometimes loving so much and the overwhelming feeling of responsibility that can make you feel this way & that’s ok, what’s not ok is suffering in silence & I would urge anyone who feels this way to speak up I feel 100x better since being diagnosed and treated.

There is such a taboo & stigma around postnatal depression & sharing our stories is how we help break that!

You’re doing amazing in these strange times mamas don’t forget it.

YOU CAN FIND AMY ON:

INSTAGRAM: @AMYSPOSTBABYJOURNEY

MY BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY | GUEST POST

Filed Under: BABY, GUEST POST, MOTHERHOOD // January 18, 2021

BY KIERA (GUEST WRITER)

I had always wanted to at least try and breastfeed, I had told myself that I wouldn’t get upset if I couldn’t do it. Looking back I think I probably would have but I had bought myself bottles and a steriliser just to make sure. I had also bought a few different types of breast pumps too. When Thea was born I was amazed how quickly she latched on, It came so natural and it was just so comfortable. I think Danny will agree with me that we were both in awe. That being said, I thought I would share my breastfeeding journey, the benefits & any tips I have!

BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY

I think I had it quite easy compared to other mums who really struggled. I remember about three days in and my nipples were so sore and painful. I never had any bleeding but for the first 2-3 weeks Lanisnoh was my best friend! I can remember the searing pain every time she would latch on that would last for about 10 seconds but it was the kind of toe curling pain that I had to brace myself for. Even though it was painful I loved breastfeeding and still do. The bonding that it gives you is just incredible.

My first outing where I had to breastfeed in public was at a garden centre with my dad. I had a big muslin cloth and I remember trying to pull my top up and bra down whilst holding a new born and feeling a bit overwhelmed and like everyone was staring at me, my dad bless him was so supportive and helped cover me up. I felt so embarrassed, I really don’t know why I felt like this because I honestly didn’t care what people thought. I was feeding my baby and that was that. I feel more comfortable around certain friends and family than others, although my cousin doesn’t bat an eyelid when I just whip it out around her haha! I am more confident now then ever, I am quite discreet about it in public but If people don’t like to see it they should look away.

I have been breastfeeding for nearly 18 months and so so SO many people ask me when am I going to stop…. well I don’t know? Am I ready to stop my breastfeeding journey? Thea has dropped quite a lot of her feeds now because she drinks cows milk at nursery and has a cup at home but every morning and night all she wants is booby. She will only drink from my left side now, she wants nothing to do with my right side and I have no idea why haha!

I did find that even though I tried 3 different breast pumps it was never the same as the real deal, I know some mums that exclusively pumped and gave breast milk to their baby which is amazing. I just never got a lot and would still feel full afterwards. Its something to give a go if breastfeeding doesn’t work.

The one downside I ever had was when I got to around 13 months of breastfeeding I had my first experience of mastitis. I was out with my cousin and her bridesmaids when I started feeling really unwell, I felt faint and sick. The girls were super helpful and when I got home I realised that my left breast had a solid mass, it progressively got worse and I ended up on antibiotics for 2 weeks. I had a few hospital appointments to double check everything and I got very mixed advice. One Doctor told me that I should stop breastfeeding altogether. I was super shocked and I actually called my health visitor who was disgusted with the advice, I actually felt a lot better when I did breastfeed as the milk was draining instead of building up. It just shows you how many misinformed people there are.

This post isn’t bashing formula feeding at all, I am all for feeding your baby. Whichever method you use. this is just my experience with breastfeeding and a few facts about it if you are thinking about giving it a go!

Its actually not that hard to find on the internet some of the benefits breastfeeding gives you and your baby. I had a look and this is some information that I got from the NHS website.

I didn’t realise but in the UK, more than 73% of mothers start breastfeeding. I honestly thought that it was much lower, but The UK has one of the lowest rates in the world for breastfeeding after one year at 0.5%!

Here are just some of the reasons why breastfeeding is so good:

your breast milk is perfectly designed for your baby
breast milk protects your baby from infections and diseases
breastfeeding provides health benefits for you
breast milk is available for your baby whenever your baby needs it
breastfeeding can build a strong emotional bond between you and your baby

Any amount of breast milk has a positive effect. The longer you breastfeed, the longer the protection lasts and the greater the benefits.

Breastfeeding reduces your baby’s risk of:

infections, with fewer visits to hospital as a result
diarrhoea and vomiting, with fewer visits to hospital as a result
sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
childhood leukaemia
obesity
cardiovascular disease in adulthood

It is recommended to give nothing but breast milk for about the first 6 months (26 weeks) of your baby’s life.

Breastfeeding and making breast milk also has health benefits for you. The more you breastfeed, the greater the benefits.

Breastfeeding lowers your risk of:

breast cancer
ovarian cancer
osteoporosis (weak bones)
cardiovascular disease
obesity

The other great thing is that it is completely FREE! Winner Winner.

Before I finish I just wanted to note that if you are breastfeeding in public you are protected under the Equality Act 2010 for as long as you wish to breastfeed and covers all public places from parks and leisure facilities, to public transport, shops, restaurants, hotels and cinemas.

I hope you enjoyed reading all about my breastfeeding journey? Did you breastfeed?

Easy Ways To Be A Great Parent

Be A Role Model

Show Your Love

Talk With Your Child

How To Be An Amazing Parent: Wrapping Up

My Top Tips for Babies Sleep 0-6 months – Sleep by Alexandra

Here are a few points that I recommend you start with to help establish a good routine-

“Be kind to yourself, always”

Here is a handy nap guide – (nap duration & number of naps)

How to differentiate between nappy rash, eczema, or a reaction?

Is nappy rash itchy/painful?

Do babies get nappy rash when teething?

Can nappy rash cause fever?

Can nappy rash spread?

Can nappy rash go away naturally?

Does my choice of nappy make a difference to nappy rash?

Is nappy rash fungal?

The Purple One helps protect:

The Yellow One treats:

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REVIEW WRITTEN BY JODI-LEE @OURLIFEWITHOPIE

WRITTEN BY CARLA LAWRENCE (GUEST WRITER)

MY DAIRY FREE BABY

The Signs –

My Tips

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WRITTEN BY DIVYA RATHORE (GUEST WRITER)

COMMON BABY SLEEP MYTHS

You can find Divya on Instagram where she shares lots of advice and information on infant sleep – https://www.instagram.com/blissfultots/

Visit blissful tots (www.blissfultots.com) for more information

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THE FOURTH TRIMESTER

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BY RHIANNA (GUEST WRITER)

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BY LAURA (GUEST WRITER)

PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE

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BY TONICHA SPENCER (GUEST WRITER)

MY MIRACLE BABY

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BY LAUREY (GUEST WRITER)

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BABY TONGUE TIE

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BY LAURA (GUEST WRITER)

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BY AMY MCLAREN (GUEST WRITER)

POSTNATAL DEPRESSION

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BY KIERA (GUEST WRITER)

BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY

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