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That Mama Club

RECOGNISING DECISION FATIGUE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: LIFE, MENTAL HEALTH // January 29, 2021

BY AMY (GUEST POST)

DECISION FATIGUE

WHAT IS DECISION FATIGUE?

In decision making and psychology, decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual.

“Do you want this salmon?” asked my husband, from the fridge.
“Err…..”
I do not know if I want the salmon.

Our toddler is howling from his highchair because he’s not just not up for breakfast today. I have been splattered with yoghurt. I have been poked in the eye with a tiny fork. The cat is screeching and grappling with my ankles because she can see a small gap between the biscuits in her food bowl, and my phone just pinged. My own breakfast is cooling rapidly on the table, I cannot think whether or not I want salmon with it. My brain is out of storage.

I have reached my decision-making capacity and it’s not even 9am.

“Erm, I don’t know,” I say. The fridge slams. He is angry. He thinks I’m being funny with him.
I have long been aware that my decision-making capacity has a limit,  and that my threshold is low. I find it stressful to have to make decisions that don’t matter to me. Which parking space, which coffee shop, which side of the hotel room bed, what kind of toothpaste, what we have for dinner. I am happy to hand over 90% of choices to others, as long as I retain influence for the things I do have a strong opinion on. I don’t much care what cars we have, I want absolute sign off on the carpets.

“What do you want from the shop?”
“Oh! Surprise me” (I don’t care).

Since producing another human, I have found the number of decisions I face in a day increased at least twofold. I must decide what two people will wear (after first deciding which weather forecast to believe), what two people will eat, where to go on our morning walk, how we will spend our time in the afternoon. Overarching all of this, I have to choose a parenting style, a set of boundaries, a school. I have to choose from a panoply of potential child-related purchases and decide whether or not to let him eat chips or have a rock for a pet.

We know that there is such a thing as ‘decision fatigue’, which is not only emotionally draining, but can lead to decreased productivity, lack of motivation, impulsive behaviour,  and poor choices. Perhaps most worryingly, it even affects our ability to perceive risk and anticipate consequences.
For me, it has been necessary to find a strategy to limit the daily demand of decision making. The following five things seem minor but their cumulative impact is significant.

  1. I have a ‘uniform’ of two outfits for each weather eventuality. This has increased from one outfit, bought three times, with or without a cardigan, which I wore for my entire first year of motherhood. All my decision making regarding clothing is now focused on my child.

  2. My default is now ‘no makeup’, an inversion of my former childless days.

  3. We have a solid morning routine. The exact same thing happens for at least the first 4 hours of the day.

  4. Sometimes (but not often enough) I prep food to avoid having to decide what to have for lunch.

  5. I seize opportunities to allocate planning time – nearly all my best decisions happen whilst walking or in the bath.

I’ll end with a quote from one of my favourite ever leaders…

 

“You’ll see I wear only grey or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make”  – Barack Obama. 44th President of the United States.

YOU CAN FIND AMY ON:

INSTAGRAM: RAISINGROTHLET

INSTAGRAM: THE.FAMILY.BURROW

 

5 Comments

Comments

  1. Cristina Rosano

    January 30, 2021 at 2:34 pm

    I can’t just imagine how hard it can be to make decisions when you have to think about another human! Though I think that taking out the decision making on daily things like clothing must have helped a lot and might actually use in the future! Thanks for sharing x

    Reply
    • admin

      February 1, 2021 at 12:44 pm

      It can be very full on & it takes a while to find your groove for sure.

      Reply
  2. Dani

    January 30, 2021 at 8:45 pm

    I have definitely experienced decision fatigue after a long day at work! And usually they’re such simple decisions that I can’t solve, like what I want for dinner haha. Thanks for sharing, it was an interesting read!

    – Dani | http://plantsandgoodvibes.com

    Reply
    • admin

      February 1, 2021 at 12:44 pm

      Yes!! Exactly this!

      Reply
  3. admin

    February 1, 2021 at 12:44 pm

    So true!!! It’s crazy how many people can resonate with this, without realising it!

    Reply

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As a matter of fact only 75.1% of mums work in the UK, which is 20% lower then dads working.

Whether you want to work or stay at home with your children, it should be your decision. NOT because you don't have a choice!

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Why getting outdoors is good for you We’ve all Why getting outdoors is good for you 

We’ve all had those days where everything is going wrong, we’re all shouting and feeling frustrated. The best piece of advice I ever received as a parent is in those times, get outside. There is something about everyone getting fresh air, and the physical space around you that helps calm any situation. 

Here are some more benefits to getting outside (whether it’s a walk or just sitting in the garden) 

🐞Lowers your blood pressure, reduces stress and improves your mood. 

🐞The fresh air also helps you sleep better 

🐞Improves focus — Studies show that both adults and children who have difficulties focusing or controlling impulses are better able to concentrate after being in nature.

🐞Helps us heal quicker - patients who spent time outdoors during their recovery required fewer painkillers, had fewer complications and experienced shorter hospital stays. 

🐞Tops up your vitamin D - Which is an important vitamin for overall health, as well as strong and healthy bones

🐞Improves your immune system - A study published in 2010 evaluated the effect of forest bathing on immune function. For a group of Japanese adults, a three-day trip to the forest increased the number of white blood cells in their blood. These levels of white blood cells stayed elevated for more than 30 days after their adventure in the woods! 

🐞Fosters a better imagination and creativity in children 

What are your favourite ways to enjoy being outside? 

(Thankyou to @simplejourneying for tagging us in this gorgeous photo)
Happy Monday Everyone! Meet a Mama Monday is a wo Happy Monday Everyone! 
Meet a Mama Monday is a wonderful way to meet & connect with likeminded people in our little community 

To Join in, all you have to do is;
❤️ Like & save this post.
❤️ Follow @thatmamaclub
❤️ Leave a comment telling us a little bit about yourself!

Then, all you do is go through the comments, follow and engage with others in this community who interest you!

If you would like to help spread the word and get more people involved, please feel free to share this post to your stories and/or tag people you think would like to join in. We are also trying something new on stories for Meet a Mama Monday - So head over and check it out!

Team TMC

*Please note - this is NOT a loop. You don't have to follow everyone back, you don't have to follow anyone at all if you don't want to- you follow who you like, who you're drawn
to, who inspires you *

#communityovercompetition
#thatmamaclubig #thatmamaclubchallenge
#TMCmeetamamamonday
Ending this Friday evening with a magical post fro Ending this Friday evening with a magical post from @that.enchanted.life 

Aren't bluebell photos beautiful?😍

#thatmamaclubig #bluebells #bluebellwoods
What a week it has been! Feels like the only time What a week it has been!

Feels like the only time i have completely relaxed has been when i have fallen asleepat night!

Work is super busy at the moment, and having just recived a payrise i feel under pressureto do well!

Add to that the fact that Tolani was poorly and the pressure of me feeling stressed about staying home with her!

And when i sent her off to nursery after a few days i felt guilty towards her for not letting her stay home! 

The balance act of being a full time working mum is sometimes too much and i wish i could just get some time to be just me! 

Coming from Sweden i am used to a better work/family life balance where both parents take the same amount of responsibility!

UK is so different! 
As a matter of fact only 75.1% of mums work in the UK, which is 20% lower then dads working.

Whether you want to work or stay at home with your children, it should be your decision. NOT because you don't have a choice!

With nursery fees being crazy high its no wonder people can't afford it! 
Ours were £2,000 when both kids were in full-time nursery 🤯

Do you work? If you do, how do you find the work/family life balance? 

If you are a stay at home mum, is it by choice or could you just not afford to work?

#thatmamaclubig
#womenempowerwomen #workingmom #workingmum #workingmums #workingmama #stayathomemomlife #stayathomemum #workbalance #familylifebalance #stressedmom #stressedmum
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