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That Mama Club

Removing the Stigma from Couples Therapy

Filed Under: HOME, LIFESTYLE, MENTAL HEALTH, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // February 15, 2022

When we’re sick, we go to a doctor. We take our car to a mechanic when it needs repairing or our phone to a technician when it’s spazzing out. So what’s wrong with seeking advice from a therapist when your relationship needs a bit of a tune-up?

There is a common notion that entering into couples therapy spells trouble for the relationship. If you’re ever brave enough to share to a close friend or family member that you and your partner are considering therapy, the usual response is “Oh, is everything alright?” or “What’s wrong?”. And, when accompanied by that worrying expression of pure pity, you could feel like your relationship is about to meet its doom.

The truth is, it is this response and the unfortunate stigma surrounding couples therapy that prevents us from even considering doing it, even when, in some cases, the relationship could potentially benefit from it. If somehow, one partner is able to convince the reluctant other to take that step, it is often not treated as efficient or important by them and so may not serve its intended purpose.
Couples therapy can be helpful for a number of reasons, not just trouble in paradise. Although seeking help is often regarded as a sign of weakness, it takes a lot of strength and courage to take such a step and truly commit to the process. If we can free ourselves from the judgment of ourselves and the people around us, we can open up to a world of better communication, better physical interactions (yes, sex) and improvement in ourselves.
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TMC + Me | Sex Dreams

Filed Under: HOME, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS, TMC + Me // January 4, 2022

“I keep having sex dreams about a colleague. Every time I look at him I find myself blushing. I’m married. What should I do?”

One of our lovely TMC followers needs some advice. If you’ve ever had this experience, what advice can you share?

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TRIED & TESTED : SATISFYER PRO 2 REVIEW

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // August 30, 2021

SATISFYER PRO 2 REVIEW

Welcome to a brand new series here on TMC; Tried & Tested! Today we are bringing you the Satisfyer Pro 2 Review. If you haven’t heard of the Satisfyer Pro, it is a toy that massages the clitoris using pressure waves and tingling pulsations. Basically it is a vacuum for your clit… but better. It features 11 intensity levels and the silicone cap is removable for easy cleaning. It is waterproof which means you can add a little something special to your shower\bath.

*THIS POST MANY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS – CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT AFFILIATE LINKS

SATISFYER PRO 2 REVIEW

The toy is rechargeable, meaning you’ll never need to go out to buy batteries. To charge it, you just dock the magnetic charger to the base of the toy and plug it into a USB wall adapter. The white light will flash whilst charging and become steady when it’s done. A full charge takes around 1.5 hours, though the first charge may take up to 8 hours.

I have always been a bullet girl, never really straying from what I knew would get me off. HOWEVER over the past 12 months I have been more and more intrigued by new toys that caught my eye, and one I saw continuous rave reviews for was this one. I umm’d and ahh’d for a while before finally treating myself and boyyyy did I treat myself.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

My partner and I used this together the first time and i’m not going to lie, I just couldn’t get to grips with it. It didn’t feel great and took a while to get it in the “right” place. HOWEVER I used it solo a few days later and holy shit balls. Amazing. I think I felt like I had more time to learn how to best use the toy, what setting worked for me ect. The Satisfyer has this incredible ability to engorge the clitoris so it is a lot more sensitive, meaning orgasms are *chef’s kiss*.

Speaking of orgasms.. they come in fast and multiple times.. compared to using my usual vibrator, my clitoris is more able/ready to move onto a second, third, and fourth orgasm. I know right? Amazing. However this being said, I definitely recommend some sort of lube, otherwise it can leave your clit feeling rather sore and sorry for itself.

Lubricant is mainly differentiated between “water-based” and “silicone-based”. Water-based lubricants are easy to use and are suitable to use with condoms, however these lubricants evaporate over time. Silicone-based lubricants are not compatible with some silicone-based products, so you wouldn’t use them with the satisfyer.

NEGATIVES:

The only slight downfall to this toy is that it isn’t the quietest, well.. until you get it in the right spot and then the volume does decrease slightly. Even the buttons have a clicking sound.

I also wish it was kind of… prettier and it’s quite bulky too. My 4 year old asked why I had an ear thermometer on my bedside table.

OVERALL:

Would I recommend this toy? Absolutely. It’s maybe not a great toy for those who are only just branching into the world of clitoral toys but it is incredible for those that are wanting to step up their sex toy game!

Want to give the Satisfyer a go?? Click here to treat yourself*

Have you tried the Satisfyer Pro 2? Are you a sex toy fan? 

 

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Busting Common Sex Myths That Are Completely False

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // August 9, 2021

A few months ago we shared common vagina myths that weren’t true and you all loved it, so we thought we would do a part 2 in the Myth Busting series. Today we are sharing common sex myths that aren’t true and boy is there a LOT. We have narrowed it down to 10 of our personal favourites that are all absolutely bullshit.

THIS BLOG POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS, TO LEARN MORE PLEASE READ OUR DISCLAIMER

COMMON SEX MYTHS

REAL SEX IS JUST LIKE PORN

Hahahaha, no. Absolutely not. Do I want to go at it for hours? No. Do I look like I can be bent like a Stretch Armstrong? HA. Can I experience orgasm after orgasm through penetration? Don’t be stupid. Porn is work. It’s someone’s job. It is created for entertainment.

STI TESTS ARE JUST FOR THOSE WHO “SLEEP AROUND”

A very popular misconception. STI tests are for ANYONE who has unprotected oral, vaginal or anal sex.

CONTRACEPTION IS A WOMAN’S RESPONSIBILITY

Oh, a favourite of mine *cue eye roll*. The decision to have sex is a joint one. I once was about to have sex with a guy and was surprised when I asked if he had any condoms. “Oh no, I presumed you would be on the pill or something…” douche bag. The only way to protect against a sexually transmitted infection (STI) is by using a condom.

YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT IF THE PENIS “PULLS OUT”

The amount of people who I know have got pregnant by using the pull out method is ridiculous. I don’t know how anyone can have the logic that it would work to prevent pregnancies, but alas. It happens. Before a penis ejaculates, there’s sperm in the pre-ejaculatory fluid (sometimes called pre-come), which leaks out when a person gets an erection.

EVERYONE IS HAVING SEX

Wrong. Having sex is a personal choice and it honestly makes me sad the amount of people rush into it because they think everyone is doing it. Also, if you have had sex one – don’t feel pressured to do it again. Wait until you are ready.

VAGINAS GET LOSER THE MORE PEOPLE THEY HAVE SEX WITH

Nope. No. The vagina is a muscle that expands and contracts. It also baffles me how a person with a vagina could have sex with the same partner for 10 years and nothing be thought of it, but one who has multiple sexual partners over that same time and her vagina must be the size of the Grand Canyon. People need to fucking behave.

VIRGINITY APPLIES TO ONLY VAGINAL SEX

It’s no secret that I despise the term “losing your virginity”, you don’t LOSE anything and i’ll be damned if a penis is that special it changes my identity. The word “virginity” has been used to describe a heterosexual woman who has not had vaginal sex. This obviously does not represent people of all genders and sexual orientations, who are likely to have a different meaning of virginity. Your “first time” is extremely personal and means something different to each person.

MASTURBATION IS HARMFUL TO YOUR SEX LIFE

Listen, as long as it feels good for you and you enjoy it – go forth and wank. Masturbating is healthy and safe. It isn’t for everyone which we fully understand. There’s no right or wrong way to go about it. Whether you prefer the use of toys to help you orgasm or good old fashioned hand. It is very much an each to their own type scenario.

ANAL SEX IS ONLY FOR GAY MEN

This is such an outdated notion that it is laughable. Wanting to try different sexual activities with your partner does not mean anything about your sexual orientation.

VAGINA OWNERS ALWAYS EXPERIENCE AN ORGASM THROUGH PENETRATIVE SEX

If only it was that easy eh? A recent study showed that 40% of women orgasm through penetrative sex, where as the other 60% need “assistance”, whether that it through toys* or clitoral stimulation.

 

There you have it! 10 common sex myths that are completely untrue. Did you believe any of these growing up?

 

 

 

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POSTPARTUM SEX DIARIES

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, MOTHERHOOD, POST BABY, POSTPARTUM, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // July 19, 2021

POSTPARTUM SEX DIARIES

The Unedited Guide to Your Postpartum Sex Life…After Baby Number Two

THE FIRST THREE MONTHS

Hi folks, lovely to meet you, how’s the weather? It’s the first time that I’ve written anything for That Mama Club’s website, so now that the pleasantries are out of the way, welcome to my nether region. You’re about to learn about all its activities in the past twelve weeks since I gave birth to my second baby, a little girl named Bea. 

Now I am sure some of you are reading this thinking, TWELVE WEEKS? She’s got a twelve week old baby and she’s writing about sex? Whilst here I am up every hour of the night and no time to shave my armpits never mind hop in the sack?!?!

I’ve been there. In fact I wrote a very similar article after a long and hard recovery after my first child, in which it took me twelve weeks to gird up my loins and brave post-partum sex, and a full nine months before I felt anything remotely resembling a libido again.

I approached the post-partum stage with something akin to military strategy this time around. Instead of sandbags, I had many many bags of mattress like maternity pads. The freezer was full of pre-made meals. And I had routinely wiggled my tank-like pregnant butt back against my partner, and demanded that we get it on…. ‘Because you know it might be a long time before we can again!’ And it’s partly this preparation for the newborn phase that meant my recovery was a lot better, which has really aided how I feel about myself and sex. 

Well, before I spoil all the juicy details for you… here’s my post-partum sex diary, second time around.

 

24-48 hours after giving birth

I’m euphoric. I love my new baby. I love my first born. I love my partner SO SO much. Wow. The dreamy emotions, and outpouring of love don’t quite dull my aching vagina, womb, in fact every bone of me is aching. I’m going to pop some paracetamol and take a (cat) nap. 

 

3 days after giving birth

I ignore my own advice and peer over my slowly deflating stomach with a handmirror to examine my stitches. I had a second-degree tear and tore up towards my urethra as well, so whilst things are stingy to say the least… its recognisably my vulva. I audibly sigh with relief as I spot that my two big vaginal varicose veins have gone down. I sobbed snottily through my mask at my midwife when I discovered them despite her reassurances that they would disappear soon after birth. Whilst the tangle of pubic hair proves my pre-birth trim wasn’t as thorough as I’d imagined, I can still make out that the varicose veins are indeed vanishing. 

It’s a great day for my labia. 

 

2 weeks after giving birth

I’m in a Facebook group for people who were due in the same month of me, and already the queries have started popping up in the group. ‘I’ve had sex and I only had my baby ten days ago, will I b ok?’ I read these open mouthed. Now I’m no doctor so I’m not going to say yay or nay as to when you can hop back in the saddle, but bravo to these ladies’ vaginas. 

I’m still joining the baby in wearing a nappy, my boobs are out of control, and my stomach muscles are so shredded I currently struggle even lying down comfortably. Sex is most firmly off the table. 

 

4 weeks after giving birth

Ok, so this is unexpected. I’ve stopped bleeding. After two long recoveries, following my first birth and a miscarriage, the packs of maternity pads I stockpiled are still sitting in the cupboard unopened. I’ve also been doing my kegels and well, it all feels pretty normal. I’ve been hiking, and I think toting the tiny one round in a sling for a month has had the unexpected benefit of engaging my core as that seems to be feeling a lot better too. I’ve mentioned all this to my partner, and he’s most definitely very *ahem* encouraged, but I say I want to rest and recover a few weeks longer. 

 

6 weeks after giving birth

I remember being unimpressed with the GP ‘check-up’ after my first birth, going into it thinking I’d be getting an internal MOT and instead being asked a sum total of two questions.

‘How are you feeling’

And

‘Have you thought about contraception’.

Well this time around, those questions were asked over the phone but in all fairness I actually am feeling very much ok by this point. Ok enough to think that YES, lets do this, I’ll wiggle my way into a almost-fitting bra and pants set and go for that voluptuous spilling-over look, that’s sexy right? Lets do this. Lets GET IT ON. 

 

7 weeks after giving birth

We still haven’t had sex. And to be quite honest I haven’t had a single ‘spark’ since I’ve had the baby. Not one fanny flutter. Not one tingling. Not a single case of the fizzy knickers. Folks, I’ve not been aroused in the slightest. But instead of going into brain meltdown I remember that I felt like this for a lot longer with my first birth, and its all down to those pesky breastfeeding hormones. 

Still, one night, when everyone else in the house is asleep I summon up some thoughts of bare chested men and Robin Hood (yes the fox, don’t ask) and slide a hand into my knickers. 

I’m awakened four hours later by the baby crying. Hand still firmly in my pants. 

I fell asleep doing myself. Ok, that’s a new one.

 

8 weeks after giving birth

WE STILL HAVEN’T HAD SEX. Last week I even shaved everything from my neck down, bar a landing strip (I say landing strip, I swear each pregnancy makes me hairier, it’s now more like the M1), moisturised, plucked my eyebrows and shimmied out of the bathroom feeling pretty damn good about myself. But after everyone else’s bath-time, a rousing two-hour bed time and then a baby deciding that this was the best evening to spend the whole evening on the boob, well we were both too tired. A second attempt was foiled by the ever-familiar call of ‘Mummmmyyyyyyyy’. And then I myself foiled another, by deciding that we would continue a session of heavy petting upstairs, but of course when I gingerly lifted the sleeping baby to put her to bed first… she woke up.

 

9 weeks after giving birth

It happened. It wasn’t glamorous, it wasn’t amazing, it was over pretty quickly, but it happened. And it felt gloriously, wonderfully, familiar. And that’s exciting. I was expecting it to feel different somehow, after all my body has changed, I pushed a baby out of my vagina mere weeks ago and yet it felt the same as always. That’s not to say our sex life is never glamorous or amazing –  but somehow having run-of-the-mill spontaneous weeknight sex was the perfect way to get back on that particular horse. No pressure, no worries about what I was wearing, if I had done enough kegels or if I was ‘exciting’ enough. It was great, it reminded me that actually I really enjoy sex, and it made me feel a little bit like the old me.

 

12 weeks after giving birth

And that brings us to today. Twelve weeks after giving birth and sex is currently firmly back on the table. Yes, it sometimes feels like a military operation, but I think that’s part of having two children one of whom is a newborn… everything feels like a military operation! But I’ve learnt to be a bit more spontaneous, if the moment arises just to go with it and enjoy it rather than worry about the laundry pile or the unsent emails. 

Finally, yes, I’ve got my libido back. And very strangely it happened exactly the same way as last time around. I had a night of very sexy dreams and woke up in the morning with a little more sashay than the night before. 

I know things will be up and down, and at the moment as we are still sleeping with the baby in the room it does feel a little bit strange to be getting down to it.

But we are doing, and I’ll take that as a win for now.

 

Becqui Jean x

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How To Keep Sex Fun After Having Children

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // June 15, 2021

 

How To Keep Sex Fun

[AD – THIS IS A PAID FOR POST]

Sex can seem like a chore at the best of times, so throw in having children and it all goes out the window. Especially when you have young children and you have to decide whether you’d rather have an orgasm or an extra 10 minutes sleep.. i’m not gonna lie – sleep always won. I think I can count on one hand the amount of times me & my partner had sex in the 12 months following our first son’s birth. However since having our second child (he is 17 months old now for context), my libido is BACK and we are having sex again. More sex than we’ve had in a long time. We thought we would share our top tips on how to keep sex fun after having children.

TAKE YOUR TIME

You don’t want to rush in all guns blazing with a giant tentacle shaped butt plug wedged between your cheeks. Slow & steady wins the race. Ease yourself in. Don’t feel like you have to release your inner porn star (although if you do, HELL YEAH…). Please let’s also remember, just because you might be cleared for sex at your six week postnatal check (WHO IN THE FRESH HELL IS READY AT SIX WEEKS?!) that does NOT mean you have to do it. You don’t owe anyone anything.

NURTURE YOUR EMOTIONAL & EMOTIONAL NEEDS

We all know it’s hard to relax and let go when we have 20,000 things running through our mind. Think, what do you need to do for yourself to feel good? – it could be ranting to a friend about something you’ve been annoyed about, it could be taking a long bath, it could be enjoying a cheeky little pre-coital wank (wink..). Practicing self care as a couple is equally as important; whether it’s asking a family member to babysit whilst you for a date night or ordering a takeaway and watching a film once the kids are in bed.

THINK ABOUT WHAT TURNS YOU ON

Not your partner. YOU. What are you into? Communicate that with your partner! Just the conversation itself can be HOTTTT.

INTRODUCE SEX TOYS

The tentacle shaped butt plug I mentioned previously? that’s a real toy but i’m not trying to scare you. We have a few to share that are fun! A 10 Day Love Challenge Couple’s Box is filled to the brim with exciting sex toys and erotic accessories that will spice up your sex life and bring pleasure to you both. If toys aren’t your thing (they really aren’t for everyone!), then how about a sexy little version of Monopoly. The Monogamy Erotic Board Game features three levels of intensity for personalised play: intimate, passionate and steamy. It reaches its climax with the winner choosing one of the 50 fantasies to act out. Some of the cards have a “Treat” action that you carry out over in the days and weeks to come..

Okay, for those who fancy trying something a little more… butt appreciation.. we have the kit for you! This Anal kit for beginners contains everything you need. It contains everything you need to relax and open up to new pleasurable sensations – including step-by-step instructions.

MAKE SMALL GESTURES

You don’t have to plan big extravagant weekends away and luxurious spa breaks. Small gestures daily can really make all the difference; having a kiss at the end of every day, sending a sexy text message, your partner managing to unpair their crusty socks before they put them in the wash…

There are so many different things you can do to keep things fun and sinful 😉 What is something you have done with your partner to light the spark again?

PIN FOR LATER

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LET’S TALK ABOUT CONTRACEPTION

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // March 11, 2021

We recently reached out on our Instagram asking people to share their contraception experiences; what contraception they use, what worked or didn’t work for them and thought we’d share them with you. In our sex education post, we shared that we were not at all educated on female contraception. We were told about “the pill” (as if there is only one kind…) and that was it. Take the pill, don’t get pregnant, bobs your uncle. Not quite…..

I first went on the pill at 16 when I knew I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I took myself off to the sexual health clinic and that was it. I then stayed on the pill until we started trying for our first baby in 2016. I went back on it briefly once he was born but stopped taking it when he was around a year old. Not because I wanted another baby but frankly, it was fucking me up. I needed to give my body a break. After we had our second baby in 2020, I went for my 6 week check and opted for the pill, but I have never taken it. I just don’t want to put that in my body again. We are currently using condoms and I know they aren’t 100% effective (does anyone else think of condoms and automatically think of THAT Friends episode with Ross? LOL). It is so important that you remember what works for you, might not work for somebody else and all our bodies are so different!

Contraception

Now it is time to share YOUR contraception experiences.

RACHAEL SAID…

“I was started on the pill when I was a teenager due to painful and erratic periods which did help regulate my periods but when I got older I got changed to the mini pill due to my BMI. When someone I know who worked as a Doctor in gynaecology recommended the IUS as it’s the most effective form of contraception and you can get pregnant as soon as it’s removed I decided this sounded much better for me.

The first time I had it inserted it was uncomfortable, but not painful. It’s very similar to having a smear test. You have to remove your clothing from your bottom half, lay on the bed and bring your feet to your bottom and let your knees fall open, a speculum is inserted (which I find the worst bit but my cervix is in a weird position) and then a small tube is inserted through the cervix into your womb. I found this bit gave me period type pains which lasted for about 2-3 days after with some light spotting. After that my periods stopped completely and I had no side effects whatsoever. It was changed after 5 years and again I had no issues.

2 years later I had it removed as we wanted to start a family. Simple to remove and no issues at all. There are two pieces of string that dangle down so you can check it’s still in place and this is what they use to remove it. They literally just pull it out.

It was 5 years and 2 children before I had it put back in as I knew I wanted a closer age gap between children so didn’t see the point in having one back in. So this is now my third coil. I have very light periods which, annoyingly, can be on a cycle from 28 to 44 days but this is just my body. I don’t have to remember to take any tablets, if I’m sick it doesn’t stop working and I only need to keep a note of when it’s due for changing (every 5 years) so no need to keep going to the GP for prescriptions!”

LAURA SAID…

“I’ve always struggled with my periods, Knowing When I’m due on when I’m ovulating I’ve always been a bit all over the place. After coming off the pill with my first child it made me realise the “damage“ it was doing to myself.. I knew before I fell pregnant I was in a bit of a difficult place.. but had no idea it could of been down to the pill. I was hot headed, snappy & extremely uncomfortable in my own skin. Even my partner noticed how back to my old self I became once I’d come off the pill. So I knew after my first baby there would be no going back, it scared me actually. So after doing a lot of research I wanted something natural that wasn’t going to be pumping all sorts of hormones into my body. I signed up to ‘Natural cycles’
You pay a monthly fee for an app & buy the £20 thermometer. You take your temperature under your tongue at the same time each morning, your body temperature.. you pop it into the app, so it can identify your fertility status. It gives you a green day or a red day.
As we was trying for baby number 2 .. it didn’t matter if this method “failed” however it didn’t, i was able to track my fertility accordingly and it was a really positive move for us. We’ve just had baby number two & considering trusting the natural cycles again this time to protect ourselves.
RACHAEL T SAID…
“Microgynon combined pill:
I took this for around 3 years when i was in my late teens, 3 horrible years where my moods were full of massive highs and massive lows, mainly lows. Prior to taking the pill I had always been a quite ‘moody‘ teenager and would feel particularly bad tempered in the build up to my period and would often cry, so when my low moods severely worsened after starting to take the pill I actually didn’t think much of it, but when i look back it was like i was in a fog with red mist that would descend. I went to the GP for my contraceptive reviews but over 10 years ago I didn’t have the confidence or the awareness to admit that my mental health was poor I simply said everything was fine and that my periods were fairly regular (if i took it correctly). I used to forget to take it quite regularly which always worried me too, once i came off it I definitely felt much better and more level headed.
Implants – Impanon/nexplanon
I actually only moved to Implanon as I went travelling in my 20’s and after speaking to the doctor and having a greater awareness of available contraceptives, i wanted something I couldn’t forget to take and that would last without needing to seek prescriptions. I got on amazingly well with it my moods were pretty consistent and I didn’t have a single period (which being honest was a non-bloody huge bonus). The insertion was quick and painless, and my removal was very straight forward, 3 years later. When it came to getting my next implant they had switched to a different brand which the Dr said was exactly the same as the previous just had a different brand name. I wouldn’t say Nexplanon was awful for me but i definitely went through some big moods swings for a few months and i also began to have very long irregular periods, so i am unsure really how similar they are, as if exactly the same I wouldn’t have expected an instant change in side effects. I had this implant removed a little early (after 2 years) as we wanted to begin trying for a baby, and was told within days the hormones would be out of my body. We fell pregnant within 2 months of removal.
After having my son I took the mini pill, however I was having really bad headaches and also felt it was really beginning to impact on my mental health and the relationship I was having with both my child and my partner so after a few months I decided to stop taking it, and have now been oral contraceptive free, for the first time since my teens for well over a year. I feel settled in myself and feel I have a greater awareness of my own mood and body, but i think perhaps if we have another child i would look back into long term contraception or speak to my partner about him taking some contraceptive measures.
AMY SAID…
I started on the mini pill when I was 19 and had my first serious long-term boyfriend. I was in London at dance university and went on it completely alone without advice from my mum or friends – Although I was 19 I was still too embarrassed to talk about sex! I was advised by the doctor that the mini pill would be my only option due to medical history. I had no problems with it and set an alarm on my phone so I would take it at the same time every day, this was a bit awkward when it came to show term and I’d often end up taking it late due to rehearsals. Anyway I stayed on this pill till I was 23 and decided with my new boyfriend and doctor advice that I should come off. My reason for this was that I was struggling with my mental health and had started to randomly bleed – when I shouldn’t be getting periods at all. I decided to take a break from contraceptives and noticed a massive improvement in my mental well being – I think my new partner played a huge part in this too. Haha cheese! I stayed off contraception until I was 26 and after my son Jacob was born. 8 months later I had the coil implanted (emergency contraception as the condom broke, I was breast feeding and we were not ready for another baby). Although the doctors and nurses were lovely the whole experience was unpleasant. It was uncomfortable going in and I bled so heavily for the first 6months. I was using two of the most absorbent pads at a time and still bleeding through. I was going through about 3 packs in one cycle! I kept saying I was going to get it removed but with COVID I wanted to stay away from the hospital. Get to month 7 and my periods are back to normal. I can wear tampons again and I my period pains no longer feel like contractions! It’s easy as you don’t have to think about it and so many of my friends love it. Also it can stay in for years and when we are ready for baby number two i just have to get it removed and we can start trying. Not sure if I’ll go on it again once it’s removed but it’s in and working so that suits me for now!
CHARLOTTE SAID..
From the age of 14 I was on the Pill  (microgaynon 30) only to stop my periods as I hated to have them…silly I know! But I became so ill and constantly was bleeding I was bleeding for 9 months straight so then they decided to give me both the injection in your lower back/top of bum, so I had both for a a few months and then they put me solely on the injection which worked great for awhile but then I started getting really fat and bleeding again. So at this point I had to have investigation why I was becoming so ill turns out I could only have either the coil or a certain pill due to family health etc.
So I opted back onto the pill I could have which was Cerelle  this was fine for ages no side effects just never had periods which I was fine with. However then I got ill and was sick and I ended up getting pregnant as pill wasn’t effective due to sickness. So I stopped of course I was pregnant. After my 1st I had the Mirena coil as I never wanted anymore children, so I had this put in  the idea was after 5 years I would be sterilised and all was good was working really well for me but then after a year I had gotten 2 infections and then I kept getting the same recurring infection and had to have the coil removed as I was getting the uncommon side effect however it again stopped my periods which I was fine about. However due to kept getting a reoccurring infection I had it removed.
So I again went back on the pill and I was becoming poorly again I will Lactating even though my daughter was 3/4 years old and couldn’t understand it turns out I’ve been so poorly on contraceptions as they are all hormone based and I was diagnosed with tumours on my pituitary gland, meaning my body already over produces hormones and I was pumping even more into my system which is why I kept getting poorly. So now I’m unable to be on contraception’s but despite all this I do recommend Cerelle or the coil. I just hadn’t realised I was suffering health wise else there wouldn’t of been issues with them. Advice make sure you know your family history so you can get the best contraception for you! And what works for you also some people can forget a pill but in injection is every 3 months and the coil is for 5 years.
AMY SAID…

I have tried various forms of contraception. I started when I was at school with the pill to help ease my period cramps. They gave me the combined pill Microgynon which I took for a while but was getting really bad migraines with aura so stopped that.

When I got my first long term boyfriend I tried the contraceptive jag, I didn’t notice much side affects with this except weight gain. I then went on the mini pill which was okay, but I was having severe mood swings, and irregular bleeding. I was advised the implant would help so opted for that, again severe mood swings, low moods & it was really itchy in my arm like my body was rejecting it. After I got it removed Istuck with the one mini pill but ended up with really bad adult acne when I came off it when I split up with my then boyfriend.

Since having my little girl I decided to give the mini pill another try and it could be a coincidence but I was diagnosed with PND 3 months after starting it and was bleeding irregularly again too. I’ve since came off that too and I’m going to give my body a break and I feel much better. I know people who have had positive experiences with these forms of contraception but my body doesn’t agree with them.

SOPHIE SAID…

“A few years ago, in between having my second and third children, I went for a routine smear test. Whilst I was there, the nurse started asking about contraception etc and she mentioned that I might like to try the mirena coil. This wasn’t something I had previously considered, but I did at some point want to stop relying on contraceptive pills.  I took home the information she gave me and had a read; after discussing it with my Husband I decided that I would like to try it and so I booked myself in with the doctor to have it fitted. The fitting was easy and painless and the GP made me feel completely comfortable.  She did warn me of a few side effects, such as mood swings, but said these were very rare and that the vast majority of people didn’t experience any adverse effects. Unfortunately, this was not the case for me. The day before my next period was due, I experienced one of the worst migraines I have ever had. I had a really strong headache behind my eyes and every time I stood up I felt like I was on a moving boat. I also felt really nauseous. I didn’t automatically relate this to the coil and it had passed by the next day. However, the same thing happened before my next two periods, along with some very irrational mood swings throughout the months. Three months after having my coil fitted I was back in with the GP demanding that she remove it.  She was extremely reluctant and kept telling me that headaches aren’t a usual side effect, she also seemed fairly concerned with regards to me being left without contraception as she wasn’t willing to prescribe more pills for me due to my age and recent headaches. I was very insistent though and she had no choice but to remove it for me.  It seems crazy to say, but I felt almost instantly better. Safe to say, I will never be having a coil fitted again!”

BETH SAID…

“I started taking the Pill when I was 19 and Ryan and I had been together for a few months. And then I just never stopped, considered the side effects, or considered any other form of contraception. In my early twenties I began to realise that a lot of my low moods were down to taking the Pill, it had never occurred to me that piling my body with all those extra hormones would effect me! I began discussing with doctors about other methods of contraception due to the hormonal impact and that I was fairly useless with taking it regularly…cue our surprise pregnancy and our daughter Rosie! Post-partum, I knew that I would never go back to the Pill. I decided on the Coil as it was a hormone free method (ideal for me as I already struggle with anxiety and low moods), I could forget about it for up to five years, and unlike the pill I couldn’t forget to take it one morning and have another surprise!

I had it fitted a couple of months after I gave birth. Whilst I think the coil is amazing, having it fitted was a bit trickier than I expected. I think I was feeling really cocky after recently giving birth, I thought a tiny coil would be a walk in the park! It was fitted quickly, easily and it was pretty much pain free (like a smear). I got straight up off the bed and walked into town to meet my boyfriend and daughter, and passed out in a tub chair in Waterstones and we had to stagger home, leaning on the pram the whole way. So my advice…clear your day of plans and take it easy! I was fine the next day.
I know every body is different and not everyone has had a good experience with the coil, but I would encourage you to try it out for a few months if you’re unsure. Fitting and removing is really quick and simple. I think it’s flipping wonderful!”
JACQUI SAID…
“Over the years I have tried out a few different contraception options. Firstly came the pill or the oral contraceptive. It was fine, I’d went on it to help with heavy periods when I was in my mid teens and I was generally happy until I was probably about 18 when I started getting really bad migraines. At this point I came off it completely and as I was in a relationship at the time we chose to then use condoms as contraception. Condoms are not the most glamorous of contraceptives but they do the job very well and despite killing the mood a few times over the years haven’t let me down (touch wood). A few years later I decided to get the contraceptive implant into my arm. Initially it was amazing – didn’t have to remember to take anything and I was sorted for 3 years! The side effect for me like many was weight gain which I hadn’t really anticipated. I easily put a stone on for every year I had it and I would occasionally get very random and sporadic periods. I got it removed after about 2 1/2 years. At this point it was suggested I go back onto the pill but with the side effects I’d had previously I was pretty reluctant. After a consultation with my GP we agreed on the mini pill cerelle. This worked very well for me. No break weeks to remember just take one a day and well that’s it really. I’ve know been on and off this particular mini pill for about 6 years and always find it works for me – as long as I remember to take it. I always usually keep it in my bedside drawer and take it just before bed as I’m always in a rush in the morning and forget. It sometimes takes a while to find the best contraceptive for you and my journey with it has been more than a decade now. Different things work for different people and also different points in your life. It’s tell trial and error til you find what suits your and your body.”
SIONED SAID..
“I’ve had nothing but good experiences with my contraceptive methods. I first used the Depo contraceptive Injection. This was a small pain free injection I took for roughly 4 years every 12 weeks. There was the odd month I missed the injection just for my sanity to see a ‘period’ but I always went back to it. The Depo did make me heavy bleed to start with but eventually everything stopped, even my hormonal monthly migraines. I went for this option for convenience really and how I didn’t have to worry about it not working at any point.
I did have one course of the pill, but I’m terrible with remembering to take medication daily so this didn’t last long. After years of the injection, they do say it takes time for your body and cycle to come back to ‘normal’ and with me knowing I’d eventually want children I swapped to the implant. Looking back I wish I’d have got the implant sooner as it is something you don’t have to think of once its in. I only had to swap it once before my husband and I decided to try for a baby. I had no side effects from the implant and my periods were light.
Since having my daughter I decided to give my body a little rest from contraception and let my body and hormones get back to normal without being effected in anyway. So I haven’t used anything for almost 3 years now.”
RACHAEL R SAID..
“I was on the pill from the age of 16 to 27, with the odd short break in between, and I only decided to come off it to get my body ready for our plans to conceive our first child. For the 3 years before that I had been struggling a lot with vaginismus- an automatic reaction where your vaginal muscles tighten up whenever penetration is attempted. I had been having talk therapy and that was helping, but the biggest change happened when I came off the pill. Within a couple of months my sex drive had reappeared and I was having very little issue with having sex. After doing some research of my own I found that a low libido can be a side-effect of the pill and I felt frustrated that I hadn’t been recommended to try this sooner by my doctor or therapist. For the first 8 years that I was on the pill I was very happy with it though and I really loved how it cleared up my skin!”

8 Comments

THINGS WE SHOULD HAVE LEARNED IN SEX EDUCATION BUT PROBABLY DIDN’T

Filed Under: HOME, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // March 9, 2021

 

THINGS WE SHOULD HAVE LEARNED IN SEX EDUCATION

THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS – TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS READ OUR DISCLAIMER

Things we should have learned in sex education but probably didn’t…. ALL OF IT.

When I was growing up my parents weren’t open at all when it came to sex, we never got “THE TALK” – they either relied on the fact that we were learning enough in our sex education class – HA or they just knew we’d figure it out in the end.

In year 11, when I was 15/16, we had a sex education lesson. One. A singular lesson. We learnt how to put on condoms, that sex consists of penis into vagina, and that sex is between two people who love each other very much (YUCK). That’s it. The basics. We didn’t cover the complexity of safe sex and sexuality. Not only was it not at all inclusive but as a female, I didn’t learn a single fucking thing about my body and what sex meant for me. It was only through watching A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex as a teenager that I learnt about female masturbation, orgasms, foreplay ect.

We thought we’d list some of things we should have learned in sex education;

ANYTHING ABOUT FEMALE PLEASURE

Did anyone else get told what a clit was or WHERE it was? Nope, okay then. Guess what, women enjoy wanking and sex just as much as men. Shocking, I know but facts are facts people. We have had it engrained in our brains thanks to popular culture, how much men enjoy masturbating so when it comes to women, it’s something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. WRONG.

PEE AFTER SEX CAN HELP PREVENT UTI’S

My sister taught me this vital lesson when I started having sex. PLEASE. Nobody enjoys a burning sensation when they pee.

IT IS ABOUT MUTUAL PLEASURE

This might be brand new information for some people but women have sex for pleasure too! It isn’t all about falling in love and this deep meaningful connection.

FOR SOMEONE WITH A VAGINA, IT IS NOT UNUSUAL TO NOT ORGASM DURING SEX

If you do, AMAZING – but it is very common that the vast majority of women need some level clitoral stimulation to orgasm; whether that is by your partner, yourself or toys!

LUBE

You need it, USE IT. Self pleasure is supposed to be exactly that, PLEASURABLE. If you feel uncomfortable, LUBE IT UP; it can make penetration easier, more relaxed and depending which lube you opt for, make you all tingly. It exists for a reason. There is nothing to be ashamed about.

MORE THAN ONE FORM OF FEMALE CONTRACEPTION

As I mentioned, we learnt about one form of female contraception. The pill. That’s it. Contraception is NOT one size fits all. I used the pill for 10 years before I realised, it was not for me.

SEX ISN’T JUST ABOUT PENIS INTO VAGINA – LGBTQIA+

It still blows my mind that in the 21st century, we aren’t educating and discussing sexuality in schools. By not teaching it we are further adding to the stigma that LGBTQ sex isn’t normal, there is more to sex than heterosexual pleasure. It is not only adding to the stigma, but it also adds to children’s confusion.

STI CHECKS ARE IMPORTANT AND NOT SHAMEFUL

They are part of being a responsible adult!

FOREPLAY IS IMPORTANT

Amen.

BEING READY IS SUBJECTIVE

When asked about sex, so many people say “oh wait until you are ready” – what the fuck does ready mean?! I went to the sexual health clinic at 16 to go on the pill because I knew I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I told one of my “friends” and she judged. Hard. I was so embarrassed and scared I was doing the wrong thing, based purely on her judgement. Don’t ever let anyone shame you for when you are ready to have sex. Whether you are a teenager like I was or a adult woman in her 20’s/30’s. Just make sure you REALLY think about whether you want to have sex, some people do have regrets about their first time.

VIRGINITY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT

I hate this huge deal around virginity. When you have sex for the first time, you do not loose anything. It does not change us as a person, it doesn’t take anything away from our lives and it sure as shit does not affect our worth.

IF SOMEONE REFUSES TO PUT ON A CONDOM – LEAVE.

Tell them to fuck off first, obviously. If they try the whole “it just doesn’t feel as good” excuse, NO. That is not okay. Condoms are about preventing pregnancy and any STI’s. Sex is for them AND you. A condom isn’t there solely to enhance his sexual experience *eye roll*

That is just SOME of the things we should have learned in sex education, but there are so many more! I am hoping by the time my children are in school and ready for their sex education lessons, they’ll have a much more open and informative discussion.

 

 

 

6 Comments

BUSTING VAGINA MYTHS | COMMON MYTHS THAT ARE COMPLETELY FALSE

Filed Under: BODY POSITIVITY, LIFE, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS // February 22, 2021

BUSTING VAGINA MYTH

In my 28 years of having a vagina I have heard a LOT of myths surrounding it and as a teenager I believed every single one. It’s no secret that women don’t discuss their vagina’s anywhere near as much as men talk about their penis’ – however it’s not through lack of interest. We just don’t feel the need to strike up a conversation about it every chance we get. With that being said, the less we talk about something, the more wide spread & bizarre the myths and rumours get. So we are here, busting vagina myths!

THAT YOUR VAGINA SHOULD SELF LUBRICATE ON CUE

Funnily enough, no. As much as people like to think vagina’s are ready at the flick of a finger, NO! I think as a younger person you associate “vaginal dryness” with older women, but it is actually incredibly normal! Things such as breastfeeding, certain medications and going through menopause can impact your self lubrication. Foreplay is incredibly important for women, not just because it can feel good.. DUH, but to make sure we are prepped and ready for sex. Also, lube exists for a reason.

THE MORE YOU MASTURBATE, THE LESS SENSITIVE YOUR VAGINA WILL BECOME

The “logic” behind this is that the more you do it, the more your body gets used to it, so stops responding – especially when using vibrating toys. There is also the myth that other things won’t feel as good because your body grows accustom to your toy. Which is all completely false. There is absolutely no evidence to back any of this up and has someone who has used vibrating toys for… 10 years.. i’m all good thank you.

HAVING LOTS OF SEX OR A BABY CAN CAUSE LOOSENESS”

The vaginal muscles are incredibly stretchy and whilst obviously the vagina does expand when aroused or to give birth – it shrinks back to its normal size! So having lots of sex or a baby does NOT affect vaginal “tightness”.

THAT WOMEN CAN COME FROM VAGINAL STIMULATION ALONE

Did you know only 30% of women can come from penetrative sex alone? I am gonna tell you right now that I am NOT one of those women. There’s a reason the clitoris is the only body part that’s use is SOLELY for pleasure. Penetrative sex is not the be all and end all of orgasms. Every vagina is different and everyone’s body reacts differently – explore and discover what you like!

THAT DISCHARGE MEANS YOUR VAGINA IS DIRTY

WRONG. It is totally normal and HEALTHY to have vaginal discharge. Discharge is actually the vagina’s way of self cleaning (PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VAGINA ALONE WHEN IT COMES TO CLEANING!), it is full of healthy bacteria and protects against infections. Obviously you know your body (and what comes out of it), so if you experience any itchiness, a change in smell, more discharge than normal then get a self-test or go to the doctor.

ALL LABIAS LOOK A SPECIFIC WAY

I can’t even… no. NO NO NO. Despite its size, shape or length… your labia is NORMAL.

YOUR CHERRY “POPS” AFTER SEX

Sure, the hymen (which is a band of tissue in the back part of your vagina) can tear and bleed during your first sexual intercourse experience but it can also break by using a tampon, horse riding, or dancing! It is not always a first time sex thing.

There you have it! We hope you found this post useful – us busting vagina myths! What is a myth you believed growing up about your vagina or sex? 

11 Comments

Welcome to That Mama Club

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Taking Kids on Holiday ⛱ Packing and travelling Taking Kids on Holiday ⛱

Packing and travelling can be stressful enough, let alone when you have little ones to take too. As holiday season is upon us, here are some top tips to help make it easier 

🛫 Prepare your kids before hand by showing them photos of where you’re going and what planes are like if you are flying (This is a big thing we have to do for all new things with our eldest) 
It gives them a chance to ask questions and get their heads around what’s to come. You can even have a countdown they can change each day to build excitement 

🍪 Snacks, snacks and more snacks. You can never pack too many for the journey
 
If you’re flying, check what you can take through security for kids. They often allow drinks. And babies can take milk through. I also highly recommend having your baby drink milk during take off and landing to help their ears adjust to pressure! 

📖 You can get some great activity books about holidays (in England and abroad) to entertain them on the trip or on site. Little toys collected from parties can be great to pack in bags. And you don’t worry if they get lost

❤️ Lower your expectations of what you may get done whilst you’re away. Toddler who had previously dropped naps may pick them up again for the week as new experiences tire them out 

🪩 Routine may drop for the week but embrace it. You’ll get up later and stay up till late to enjoy the entertainment. You can soon get back into the normal swing of things 

🥳 Most of all have fun! There may be some tantrums but kids will only remember the joy 

Where are you heading this summer? 
.

Thankyou to @zelda_nehir_kd for tagging us in this beautiful photo
Happy Monday Everyone! Meet a Mama Monday is a wo Happy Monday Everyone! 
Meet a Mama Monday is a wonderful way to meet & connect with likeminded people in our little community 

To Join in, all you have to do is;
❤️ Like & save this post.
❤️ Follow @thatmamaclub
❤️ Leave a comment telling us a little bit about yourself!

Then, all you do is go through the comments, follow and engage with others in this community who interest you!

If you would like to help spread the word and get more people involved, please feel free to share this post to your stories and/or tag people you think would like to join in. We are also trying something new on stories for Meet a Mama Monday - So head over and check it out!

Team TMC

*Please note - this is NOT a loop. You don't have to follow everyone back, you don't have to follow anyone at all if you don't want to- you follow who you like, who you're drawn
to, who inspires you *

#communityovercompetition
#thatmamaclubig #thatmamaclubchallenge
#TMCmeetamamamonday
Friday the 13th and our prompt for today was "I am Friday the 13th and our prompt for today was "I am Grateful for"
#thatmamaclubchallenge 

There are so many things to be grateful for but sometimes we all need to remind ourselves what they are! ❤️

Thank you all for joining in! 
Love this photo by @ateeqhomeed

#thatmamaclubig #happyfridayeveryone
Yesterdays prompt on #thatmamaclubchallenge was I Yesterdays prompt on #thatmamaclubchallenge was 
I AM ENOUGH 

And I absolutely loved @oliverashley2021 entry

"Everyday I feel blessed that I have such lovely boys and I am extremely grateful that they are (touch wood) healthy and happy. 

However, before having my boys i was known as Charlene and I don't see her often! 

These days I am less confident and only care about the welfare of my boys and not too much myself. 

She was fun, spontaneous and full of energy. She was full of goals, had aspirations and had the determination to achieve whatever she wanted. Its so important to find her again! 

She is the reason I'm the best mum and will never fall below 110% whilst being in the parent role. Charlene was the foundation and I am truly grateful. 

Now let's go find her"

#thatmamaclubig #selflovetribe #selflovemovement #selfloveiskey #makeyourselfapriority #ilovemyselfmore #bethebestversionofyourself #bestversionofme #loveyourselftoday #positiveselftalk #celebrateyoursuccess 

#celebrateyourself #loveyourbodynow #weareallbeautiful #sayyestoyourself #aconfidentyou #stopcomparing #learningtolovemyself #loveyourimperfections #selfcarecommunity 

#selfcarecomesfirst #dosomethingforyou #selfcareroutines #selfloveisfirstlove #selfloveadvocate  #selflovematters
What 3 words do you see first? ❤️ Tag a frien What 3 words do you see first? ❤️

Tag a friend to join in too 🥰
Today’s prompt was “Beneath my feet” and the Today’s prompt was “Beneath my feet” and there were some beautiful entries, like this one from @whimsy.andwildflowers 🥰

Huge thank you to everyone who joined in. ❤️

#thatmamaclubig
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Taking Kids on Holiday ⛱ Packing and travelling Taking Kids on Holiday ⛱

Packing and travelling can be stressful enough, let alone when you have little ones to take too. As holiday season is upon us, here are some top tips to help make it easier 

🛫 Prepare your kids before hand by showing them photos of where you’re going and what planes are like if you are flying (This is a big thing we have to do for all new things with our eldest) 
It gives them a chance to ask questions and get their heads around what’s to come. You can even have a countdown they can change each day to build excitement 

🍪 Snacks, snacks and more snacks. You can never pack too many for the journey
 
If you’re flying, check what you can take through security for kids. They often allow drinks. And babies can take milk through. I also highly recommend having your baby drink milk during take off and landing to help their ears adjust to pressure! 

📖 You can get some great activity books about holidays (in England and abroad) to entertain them on the trip or on site. Little toys collected from parties can be great to pack in bags. And you don’t worry if they get lost

❤️ Lower your expectations of what you may get done whilst you’re away. Toddler who had previously dropped naps may pick them up again for the week as new experiences tire them out 

🪩 Routine may drop for the week but embrace it. You’ll get up later and stay up till late to enjoy the entertainment. You can soon get back into the normal swing of things 

🥳 Most of all have fun! There may be some tantrums but kids will only remember the joy 

Where are you heading this summer? 
.

Thankyou to @zelda_nehir_kd for tagging us in this beautiful photo
Happy Monday Everyone! Meet a Mama Monday is a wo Happy Monday Everyone! 
Meet a Mama Monday is a wonderful way to meet & connect with likeminded people in our little community 

To Join in, all you have to do is;
❤️ Like & save this post.
❤️ Follow @thatmamaclub
❤️ Leave a comment telling us a little bit about yourself!

Then, all you do is go through the comments, follow and engage with others in this community who interest you!

If you would like to help spread the word and get more people involved, please feel free to share this post to your stories and/or tag people you think would like to join in. We are also trying something new on stories for Meet a Mama Monday - So head over and check it out!

Team TMC

*Please note - this is NOT a loop. You don't have to follow everyone back, you don't have to follow anyone at all if you don't want to- you follow who you like, who you're drawn
to, who inspires you *

#communityovercompetition
#thatmamaclubig #thatmamaclubchallenge
#TMCmeetamamamonday
Friday the 13th and our prompt for today was "I am Friday the 13th and our prompt for today was "I am Grateful for"
#thatmamaclubchallenge 

There are so many things to be grateful for but sometimes we all need to remind ourselves what they are! ❤️

Thank you all for joining in! 
Love this photo by @ateeqhomeed

#thatmamaclubig #happyfridayeveryone
Yesterdays prompt on #thatmamaclubchallenge was I Yesterdays prompt on #thatmamaclubchallenge was 
I AM ENOUGH 

And I absolutely loved @oliverashley2021 entry

"Everyday I feel blessed that I have such lovely boys and I am extremely grateful that they are (touch wood) healthy and happy. 

However, before having my boys i was known as Charlene and I don't see her often! 

These days I am less confident and only care about the welfare of my boys and not too much myself. 

She was fun, spontaneous and full of energy. She was full of goals, had aspirations and had the determination to achieve whatever she wanted. Its so important to find her again! 

She is the reason I'm the best mum and will never fall below 110% whilst being in the parent role. Charlene was the foundation and I am truly grateful. 

Now let's go find her"

#thatmamaclubig #selflovetribe #selflovemovement #selfloveiskey #makeyourselfapriority #ilovemyselfmore #bethebestversionofyourself #bestversionofme #loveyourselftoday #positiveselftalk #celebrateyoursuccess 

#celebrateyourself #loveyourbodynow #weareallbeautiful #sayyestoyourself #aconfidentyou #stopcomparing #learningtolovemyself #loveyourimperfections #selfcarecommunity 

#selfcarecomesfirst #dosomethingforyou #selfcareroutines #selfloveisfirstlove #selfloveadvocate  #selflovematters
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