THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS – TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS READ OUR DISCLAIMER
Things we should have learned in sex education but probably didn’t…. ALL OF IT.
When I was growing up my parents weren’t open at all when it came to sex, we never got “THE TALK” – they either relied on the fact that we were learning enough in our sex education class – HA or they just knew we’d figure it out in the end.
In year 11, when I was 15/16, we had a sex education lesson. One. A singular lesson. We learnt how to put on condoms, that sex consists of penis into vagina, and that sex is between two people who love each other very much (YUCK). That’s it. The basics. We didn’t cover the complexity of safe sex and sexuality. Not only was it not at all inclusive but as a female, I didn’t learn a single fucking thing about my body and what sex meant for me. It was only through watching A Girl’s Guide To 21st Century Sex as a teenager that I learnt about female masturbation, orgasms, foreplay ect.
We thought we’d list some of things we should have learned in sex education;
ANYTHING ABOUT FEMALE PLEASURE
Did anyone else get told what a clit was or WHERE it was? Nope, okay then. Guess what, women enjoy wanking and sex just as much as men. Shocking, I know but facts are facts people. We have had it engrained in our brains thanks to popular culture, how much men enjoy masturbating so when it comes to women, it’s something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. WRONG.
PEE AFTER SEX CAN HELP PREVENT UTI’S
My sister taught me this vital lesson when I started having sex. PLEASE. Nobody enjoys a burning sensation when they pee.
IT IS ABOUT MUTUAL PLEASURE
This might be brand new information for some people but women have sex for pleasure too! It isn’t all about falling in love and this deep meaningful connection.
FOR SOMEONE WITH A VAGINA, IT IS NOT UNUSUAL TO NOT ORGASM DURING SEX
If you do, AMAZING – but it is very common that the vast majority of women need some level clitoral stimulation to orgasm; whether that is by your partner, yourself or toys!
You need it, USE IT. Self pleasure is supposed to be exactly that, PLEASURABLE. If you feel uncomfortable, LUBE IT UP; it can make penetration easier, more relaxed and depending which lube you opt for, make you all tingly. It exists for a reason. There is nothing to be ashamed about.
MORE THAN ONE FORM OF FEMALE CONTRACEPTION
As I mentioned, we learnt about one form of female contraception. The pill. That’s it. Contraception is NOT one size fits all. I used the pill for 10 years before I realised, it was not for me.
SEX ISN’T JUST ABOUT PENIS INTO VAGINA – LGBTQIA+
It still blows my mind that in the 21st century, we aren’t educating and discussing sexuality in schools. By not teaching it we are further adding to the stigma that LGBTQ sex isn’t normal, there is more to sex than heterosexual pleasure. It is not only adding to the stigma, but it also adds to children’s confusion.
STI CHECKS ARE IMPORTANT AND NOT SHAMEFUL
They are part of being a responsible adult!
FOREPLAY IS IMPORTANT
BEING READY IS SUBJECTIVE
When asked about sex, so many people say “oh wait until you are ready” – what the fuck does ready mean?! I went to the sexual health clinic at 16 to go on the pill because I knew I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I told one of my “friends” and she judged. Hard. I was so embarrassed and scared I was doing the wrong thing, based purely on her judgement. Don’t ever let anyone shame you for when you are ready to have sex. Whether you are a teenager like I was or a adult woman in her 20’s/30’s. Just make sure you REALLY think about whether you want to have sex, some people do have regrets about their first time.
VIRGINITY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT
I hate this huge deal around virginity. When you have sex for the first time, you do not loose anything. It does not change us as a person, it doesn’t take anything away from our lives and it sure as shit does not affect our worth.
IF SOMEONE REFUSES TO PUT ON A CONDOM – LEAVE.
Tell them to fuck off first, obviously. If they try the whole “it just doesn’t feel as good” excuse, NO. That is not okay. Condoms are about preventing pregnancy and any STI’s. Sex is for them AND you. A condom isn’t there solely to enhance his sexual experience *eye roll*
That is just SOME of the things we should have learned in sex education, but there are so many more! I am hoping by the time my children are in school and ready for their sex education lessons, they’ll have a much more open and informative discussion.