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That Mama Club

SHARING THE MUMMY LOVE | GUEST POST

Filed Under: GUEST POST, MOTHERHOOD // March 31, 2021

WRITTEN BY DARSHANA (GUEST WRITER)

After having my first daughter I instantly felt judged and the shocking thing was that I felt most judged by other mothers. I always thought other mums would understand how I felt and what I was going through because they were on the same journey. Instead, I found mothers who were competing with one another to win the ‘best mum’ award and constantly justifying their decisions on how they parent their kids in front of others. I am here to share the mummy love & remind people why it is so important that we support each other, especially during such a difficult time. 

Below are some of the questions/statements I had experienced after having my first daughter which I found extremely hurtful and made me feel like a terrible mum instantly.

MUMMY LOVE

I think it is so important for mums to lift each other up and be judgement free as they are going through the exact same journey. I believe everyone has their own way of parenting and no way is the wrong way, it might just not be my way. Its mind boggling how they are your children but the whole world has an opinion on how you should bring them up. It is difficult to have so many eyes judging you while you are figuring out your own path in this parenting journey. 

I am really hard on myself and mega critical on what kind of mother I am, and I sometimes think I need to give myself a break but it always helps to have another mum giving me positive encouragement and not making comments about how my way is not the ‘right way’ – what is the right way when it comes to parenting? I do not think anyone has the answer to that. If you do, please share the secret!

I know there are also mums out there who believe in supporting and uplifting all mums because it is not as easy as it looks on the outside. Since becoming a mum I have taken an oath that I will never judge how differently a mum parents to me, but I will encourage and applaud them in doing what they are doing because only they know what is good for their baby and what works for them.

I want to end this by saying no mum is wrong or holds the title of being a ‘bad mum’. We are incredible and if we doubt it for a second, look at the smile on our children’s faces when they are with us and it will tell all. 

YOU CAN FIND DARSHANA ON;

INSTAGRAM: MUM_WITHOUT_INSTRUCTIONS

 

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Let’s talk about different play schemas… Does Let’s talk about different play schemas…

Does your little one show any signs of play schemas in their everyday play? My little boy is currently very much in the rotation schema, he will spin anything and everything he can and I have to say he’s pretty good at it! 

There are lots of Different types of schemas I’ve listed a few below for you, can you spot anyone’s your little ones do? let us know below! 

Trajectory - Exploring movement and forces through throwing, jumping and kicking. Their behaviour can sometimes seem challenging – throwing food and toys, leaping on sofas, or kicking off their shoes.

Transporting - Fascinated by taking things from place to place. They may fill bags, baskets and pockets with tiny objects to carry around it, or load up toy buggies, trucks and ride-ons with things to move about.

Rotation - Obsessed with spinning and turning. Look out for them turning knobs and lids, watching the laundry go round and round in the washing machine, or spinning the wheels on buggies, bikes and toy cars.

Transforming - Mixing their breakfast into a mush or pour their juice into their dinner, it could be part of a transforming schema; a fascination with changing the state of things, painting, making mud pies are all perfect activities to support this schema.

Enveloping - Wrapping themselves up the curtains or put blankets over their head, may be exhibiting an enveloping schema. It may not be just themselves they like to wrap up; children with this schema are also often fascinated with wrapping up objects and putting things inside envelopes and bags.

Enclosing - Love to hide in small spaces – in a laundry basket, under a bush or in a swimming pool locker, for instance.

Connecting - Joining objects, putting together toy train tracks and roadways, tying laces, sticking velcro, or using sticky tape and glue. Some like to disconnect them too – knocking down or pulling apart their creations can be part of their fascination.
Feeling like a failure A failure of a mum... Bec Feeling like a failure

A failure of a mum...

Because I can see people's looks when he is having his crazy tantrums. 

When he is kicking, screaming, shouting....I can see! All the judging looks!

"What a horrible boy" "she can not have raised him properly" "she must have done something wrong" "What is wrong with him?"

Sunday night at the airport was such a low point for me. Kaiden had his biggest ever tantrum and playing up being silly.

I just got to a point where I felt useless. Whatever I said or did he acted up. People were staring at us. 

Some of them muttering something to a friend, others shaking their heads. Others just staring.....

I think that was my low point as a parent...I wanted to just walk away...curl up like a ball and cry.

But there was nowhere to go...because I was there on my own...with two kids.

The last few weeks I have felt so low. Like such a failure! Because no matter what I do or say, he just doesn't listen when he is in his "moods"

And it always ends with me loosing my temper because I just don't know what else to do! I have cried myself to sleep a lot. Wishing my mum ws here to guide me! 

So why am i sharing this? Well this is not a pity post, I just wanted to share that there can be some very low lows in motherhood. 

So whenever you feel like you hit that low point, rest assured that you are not alone! We all feel like we can't take anymore at some point. 

When you do, speak to someone! A partner, parent, friend.....or even us!! Because it does help a little to feel less lonely in it all ❤️❤️❤️

#honestmothering #honestmom #honestmotherhood #realmotherhood #rawmotherhood #rockbottom #mumfail #motherhoodishard #motherhoodistough #tantrums #mylittlewildling
I mean, kitchen....bathroom...living room, bedroom I mean, kitchen....bathroom...living room, bedroom. There is always somewhere to clean. 

And it never feels as if it stays clean for more then a minute with kids around! 🙈

What part of the house is the place you dread the most to clean?

#motherhoodquotes #motherhoodjourney #funnyquotesdaily #grownupproblems #adultingsucks #ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛɪɴɢ
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Weekly round up time! We love looking through #o Weekly round up time! 

We love looking through #oursummertimescrapbook posts and seeing what you’re up to. 

I’ve picked these posts from the last week because they show a range of styles I discussed in stories today. You have close ups of hands, wide shots, some with faces, some without. Photos from above and photos at your child’s level. Never be afraid to experiment when capturing memories. It all helps to tell the story of the moment ❤️ 

#thatmamaclubig #summertimemagic #summertimemadness #summertimememories #summertimefun #mumblogsuk #mumlifestyle #mumsthatgotthis #ukmumsquad #ukparentbloggers #mummytribe #mumlifebelike #mumdiary #boymumlife 
#thatmummytribe #mumwithcamera #mumsupportingmums #toddlermum #busymum #mumof2 #stayathomemum #mumofthree
TMC + ME One of our lovely TMC followers needs s TMC + ME 

One of our lovely TMC followers needs some advice on how to deal with an upsetting situation ❤️

What advice would you have for our follower in regards to setting boundaries without upsetting anyone? 

Have you been in a similar situation? Do you have a strained relationship with a family member? What advice can you share?

❤❤❤❤

TMC always aim to be a supportive and inclusive space, and we often receive messages asking for advice on all sort of things.

As much as we will always try our best to give advice we are only a little admin team and sometimes it may be things we do not know much about.

So therefore we wanted to create a way for you all to ask us (and all followers) for advice, and hopefully get the support you need.

It will always be anonymous  and it can be on any subject. We are an open minded bunch and won't judge anyone.

❤️

And finally, keep the comments kind! ❤️

#tmcandme #thatmamaclubig #boymum  #lifewithlittles #girlmum #firsttimemumuk #lifewithababy #mummyandbaby #settingboundaries 
#mumblogsuk #mumlifestyle #mumsthatgotthis #ukmumsquad #ukparentbloggers #mummytribe #mumlifebelike #mumdiary #boundariesarehealthy 
#thatmummytribe #mumsupportingmums #channelmumvillage #toddlermum #busymum #mumof2 #stayathomemum #mumofthree
Thank you to @ohhappyrobertsons For sharing this s Thank you to @ohhappyrobertsons For sharing this simply gorgeous capture of her little one chasing bubbles in the summer sun! The perfect summer activity to go alongside #oursummerscrapbook 

Thank you so much for tagging us! 🤍

#summerfun #outdoorplay #letthembelittle #outdoorplayideas #getoutside
Let’s talk about different play schemas… Does Let’s talk about different play schemas…

Does your little one show any signs of play schemas in their everyday play? My little boy is currently very much in the rotation schema, he will spin anything and everything he can and I have to say he’s pretty good at it! 

There are lots of Different types of schemas I’ve listed a few below for you, can you spot anyone’s your little ones do? let us know below! 

Trajectory - Exploring movement and forces through throwing, jumping and kicking. Their behaviour can sometimes seem challenging – throwing food and toys, leaping on sofas, or kicking off their shoes.

Transporting - Fascinated by taking things from place to place. They may fill bags, baskets and pockets with tiny objects to carry around it, or load up toy buggies, trucks and ride-ons with things to move about.

Rotation - Obsessed with spinning and turning. Look out for them turning knobs and lids, watching the laundry go round and round in the washing machine, or spinning the wheels on buggies, bikes and toy cars.

Transforming - Mixing their breakfast into a mush or pour their juice into their dinner, it could be part of a transforming schema; a fascination with changing the state of things, painting, making mud pies are all perfect activities to support this schema.

Enveloping - Wrapping themselves up the curtains or put blankets over their head, may be exhibiting an enveloping schema. It may not be just themselves they like to wrap up; children with this schema are also often fascinated with wrapping up objects and putting things inside envelopes and bags.

Enclosing - Love to hide in small spaces – in a laundry basket, under a bush or in a swimming pool locker, for instance.

Connecting - Joining objects, putting together toy train tracks and roadways, tying laces, sticking velcro, or using sticky tape and glue. Some like to disconnect them too – knocking down or pulling apart their creations can be part of their fascination.
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