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That Mama Club

THE FEAR OF BECOMING A NEW MUM

Filed Under: GUEST POST, HOME, MOTHERHOOD, PREGNANCY // February 25, 2021

BY ALLY ROBERTS (GUEST WRITER)

FEAR OF BECOMING A NEW MUM

 

I felt a whole range of emotions when I found out I was pregnant, from happy and excited to nervous and quite frankly terrified. But one feeling that kept niggling away at me was the fear of becoming a new mum & losing my sense of identity. It took me over 30 years to become the woman I was and I wasn’t ready to give her up, I just had no idea how I was going to manage being a good mum and still be me.

Growing up I was often referred to as someone’s daughter or sister and I spent my twenties carving out a life that was mine. I fell in love with travel, different cultures and other peoples idea of normal fascinated me. I set myself challenges and completed the three peaks, night rides, half marathons and numerous 10ks. I was worried I wouldn’t have that any more and just be known as someone’s wife and mum, then felt guilty for thinking that for surely there’s no greater title as being someone’s mum? 

Obviously with the world in lockdown, travel and challenges are out of the window, but I found myself putting pen to paper when Elena was born to try and clear my mind and make sense of the crazy year we’d just lived through. I’d always loved the idea of writing I enjoyed English at school and college and I’ll read any opportunity I get, I’d just always come up with excuses for not writing anything down myself. So I wrote a poem for Elena’s memory box when she was two months old, I then stumbled across a project on Instagram.

The author Emylia Hall was putting together an anthology called born in lockdown and wanted people to write in with their experiences. I’d missed the deadline but sent my poem in anyway and she said she wanted to include one of the stanzas in the pregnancy section, it was all of six lines but It felt so good that in the throes of becoming a new mum I was managing to do something for me.

I then set up an Instagram account to document my writing and motherhood and stumbled across this wonderful online community of mums and ones who enjoy writing. A message from That Mama Club inspired me to write this article and send it into them.

Writing helps clear my mind and gives me a focus and it’s my interpretation of ‘me time’. Leaving my husband to parent whilst I nip for a quick shower isn’t what I’d call me time, it’s a basic human need and I think as mothers we need more than that, well I do anyway. I guess what I’m trying to say is everyone has a spark or something they’re passionate about but self doubt or excuses get in the way. Even if it’s just ten minutes a day I try to dedicate that time to writing.

Obviously some days I find myself at 5pm, husbands home and I’m not quite sure what I’ve managed to achieve that day, but more often than not I find if I don’t put the TV on until a certain time of day or spend less time on Facebook it frees my time up to invest in me. It’s slow progress, I mean It’s taken me several days to put this together in what normally would only take an hour or so but that doesn’t matter. You can lose yourself in giving too much away but having a small amount of time dedicated to yourself can make a huge difference to how you feel, I genuinely feel like a better mum and wife for it too.

We hope you resonated with Ally’s post & her fears of becoming a new mum!

YOU CAN FIND ALLY ON;

INSTAGRAM : RHYMING MUM

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Packing and travelling can be stressful enough, let alone when you have little ones to take too. As holiday season is upon us, here are some top tips to help make it easier 

🛫 Prepare your kids before hand by showing them photos of where you’re going and what planes are like if you are flying (This is a big thing we have to do for all new things with our eldest) 
It gives them a chance to ask questions and get their heads around what’s to come. You can even have a countdown they can change each day to build excitement 

🍪 Snacks, snacks and more snacks. You can never pack too many for the journey
 
If you’re flying, check what you can take through security for kids. They often allow drinks. And babies can take milk through. I also highly recommend having your baby drink milk during take off and landing to help their ears adjust to pressure! 

📖 You can get some great activity books about holidays (in England and abroad) to entertain them on the trip or on site. Little toys collected from parties can be great to pack in bags. And you don’t worry if they get lost

❤️ Lower your expectations of what you may get done whilst you’re away. Toddler who had previously dropped naps may pick them up again for the week as new experiences tire them out 

🪩 Routine may drop for the week but embrace it. You’ll get up later and stay up till late to enjoy the entertainment. You can soon get back into the normal swing of things 

🥳 Most of all have fun! There may be some tantrums but kids will only remember the joy 

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Thank you all for joining in! 
Love this photo by @ateeqhomeed

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And I absolutely loved @oliverashley2021 entry

"Everyday I feel blessed that I have such lovely boys and I am extremely grateful that they are (touch wood) healthy and happy. 

However, before having my boys i was known as Charlene and I don't see her often! 

These days I am less confident and only care about the welfare of my boys and not too much myself. 

She was fun, spontaneous and full of energy. She was full of goals, had aspirations and had the determination to achieve whatever she wanted. Its so important to find her again! 

She is the reason I'm the best mum and will never fall below 110% whilst being in the parent role. Charlene was the foundation and I am truly grateful. 

Now let's go find her"

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Taking Kids on Holiday ⛱ Packing and travelling Taking Kids on Holiday ⛱

Packing and travelling can be stressful enough, let alone when you have little ones to take too. As holiday season is upon us, here are some top tips to help make it easier 

🛫 Prepare your kids before hand by showing them photos of where you’re going and what planes are like if you are flying (This is a big thing we have to do for all new things with our eldest) 
It gives them a chance to ask questions and get their heads around what’s to come. You can even have a countdown they can change each day to build excitement 

🍪 Snacks, snacks and more snacks. You can never pack too many for the journey
 
If you’re flying, check what you can take through security for kids. They often allow drinks. And babies can take milk through. I also highly recommend having your baby drink milk during take off and landing to help their ears adjust to pressure! 

📖 You can get some great activity books about holidays (in England and abroad) to entertain them on the trip or on site. Little toys collected from parties can be great to pack in bags. And you don’t worry if they get lost

❤️ Lower your expectations of what you may get done whilst you’re away. Toddler who had previously dropped naps may pick them up again for the week as new experiences tire them out 

🪩 Routine may drop for the week but embrace it. You’ll get up later and stay up till late to enjoy the entertainment. You can soon get back into the normal swing of things 

🥳 Most of all have fun! There may be some tantrums but kids will only remember the joy 

Where are you heading this summer? 
.

Thankyou to @zelda_nehir_kd for tagging us in this beautiful photo
Happy Monday Everyone! Meet a Mama Monday is a wo Happy Monday Everyone! 
Meet a Mama Monday is a wonderful way to meet & connect with likeminded people in our little community 

To Join in, all you have to do is;
❤️ Like & save this post.
❤️ Follow @thatmamaclub
❤️ Leave a comment telling us a little bit about yourself!

Then, all you do is go through the comments, follow and engage with others in this community who interest you!

If you would like to help spread the word and get more people involved, please feel free to share this post to your stories and/or tag people you think would like to join in. We are also trying something new on stories for Meet a Mama Monday - So head over and check it out!

Team TMC

*Please note - this is NOT a loop. You don't have to follow everyone back, you don't have to follow anyone at all if you don't want to- you follow who you like, who you're drawn
to, who inspires you *

#communityovercompetition
#thatmamaclubig #thatmamaclubchallenge
#TMCmeetamamamonday
Friday the 13th and our prompt for today was "I am Friday the 13th and our prompt for today was "I am Grateful for"
#thatmamaclubchallenge 

There are so many things to be grateful for but sometimes we all need to remind ourselves what they are! ❤️

Thank you all for joining in! 
Love this photo by @ateeqhomeed

#thatmamaclubig #happyfridayeveryone
Yesterdays prompt on #thatmamaclubchallenge was I Yesterdays prompt on #thatmamaclubchallenge was 
I AM ENOUGH 

And I absolutely loved @oliverashley2021 entry

"Everyday I feel blessed that I have such lovely boys and I am extremely grateful that they are (touch wood) healthy and happy. 

However, before having my boys i was known as Charlene and I don't see her often! 

These days I am less confident and only care about the welfare of my boys and not too much myself. 

She was fun, spontaneous and full of energy. She was full of goals, had aspirations and had the determination to achieve whatever she wanted. Its so important to find her again! 

She is the reason I'm the best mum and will never fall below 110% whilst being in the parent role. Charlene was the foundation and I am truly grateful. 

Now let's go find her"

#thatmamaclubig #selflovetribe #selflovemovement #selfloveiskey #makeyourselfapriority #ilovemyselfmore #bethebestversionofyourself #bestversionofme #loveyourselftoday #positiveselftalk #celebrateyoursuccess 

#celebrateyourself #loveyourbodynow #weareallbeautiful #sayyestoyourself #aconfidentyou #stopcomparing #learningtolovemyself #loveyourimperfections #selfcarecommunity 

#selfcarecomesfirst #dosomethingforyou #selfcareroutines #selfloveisfirstlove #selfloveadvocate  #selflovematters
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