“How can I get a work colleague to stop trying to get me in trouble with the boss just because they don’t like me?”
One of our lovely TMC followers needs some advice on how to deal with an upsetting work situation.
What advice would you have for our follower that is stuck in a situation that is making her work place toxic.
She loves her work and gets along with all the other colleagues.
Have you been in a similar situation? How did you get out of it?
TMC always aim to be a supportive and inclusive space, and we often receive messages asking for advice on all sort of things.
As much as we will always try our best to give advice we are only our little admin team and sometimes it may be things we do not know much about.
So therefore we wanted to create a way for you all to ask us (and all followers) for advice, and hopefully get the support you need.
It will always be anonymous and it can be on any subject. We are an open minded bunch and won’t judge anyone.
What our community has said:
Yas: Best thing dont retaliate just do your job and dont give them the satisfaction of reacting to their pettiness x
Jackie: Do they have a whistle blowing procedure? Also, document EVERYTHING. Get a diary, and write down every encounter, and how it made you feel. Don’t gossip, go straight to the top if you’re not getting the support. Ask for constructive feedback, and also document the feedback. Ask what you can do to better the relationship. Even if you know you’re doing it, ask anyway. Document it.
DOCUMENT IT ALLLLL! Im sorry you’re going through this, work is hard enough without having to work alongside toxic people!
Sarah: Raise as a non formal complaint to the hr department under bullying and harassment in the work place. Raise is writing and try to keep the emotion out at this point and detail the facts – exactly what’s happening, any dates or times, anything that is recorded or witnesses, explain the impact on you and your mental health. Make sure you put what outcome you are looking for and that you would like to avoid raising as a formal grievance. Ask for a copy of the company policy on how this is dealt with and their anti bumming Employers have (usually called grievance procedure) and their anti bullying policy (although you should be able find this in the company handbook if they have one). Employers have a responsibility to safe guard employees. Always do everything and get everything in writing, even if it’s just an email after a meeting to summarise what was discussed. I work in HR and companies usually take this kind of complaint really seriously either because they care about their employees or don’t want to get sued.
Zoe: How awful 😞 I would pull the manager to one side without anybody noticing and let them know. I would make notes of everything too to show her. Failing that I’d get the big guns out 😅👊🏼👋🏼
Ash: This is a tricky one for certain! If nothing else, never let her get away with saying anything untrue or unjust… always stand up for yourself and be assertive and mature in your responses so that there is little for them to go on… she will eventually get bored of you
Kerrie: Sorry to hear this but I understand what you’re going through. I was in the exact same situation and in the end I lost my job because it was before my 3 month probation period. Not saying you will! It was a clicky place were I was. The things that were said about me were not true or she made it into a bigger thing than what it was. It was horrible! I was bullied and it sounds like you’re being bullied too. I wish I had joined a union because I lost my job before they heard my side of the story. Are you with a union? I would also tell the boss what has been happening and if that doesn’t change maybe the union can help. If things don’t change I’d keep my options open and look for other jobs. I’ve learned you need to look after number one. Hope things will change for you. Sending love ❤️
Abbey: We were in a very similar situation with my husband job. He got a new position and everything was fine for ages, got on really well with his colleagues and his new boss, but then a few months later his boss turned into the most repulsive person ever. Extending his hours so he didn’t see us anymore, phoned up on days off, called him etc ruined his life at work and eventually our home life. It was tough, my husband confronted his boss, maybe confront them about what they’re doing? – unfortunately it didn’t work for us. My husband ended up leaving the work place including all the lovely people he worked with & found so much more harmony at his new place. It’s a very tricky situation, but if the person cannot and will not stop what they’re doing and it is messing with your mental health and genuinely affecting your life, is the job really worth it? I know it only takes one person and jobs aren’t always easy to come by, but you are the one that is suffering from it. Also his their a head office or something that you can possibly report the behaviour to? Get people involved ❤️
Do you have any further advice for our mama? Please remember to keep the comments kind.