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That Mama Club

TMC + Me | Colleague Trouble

Filed Under: HOME, TMC + Me // May 5, 2022

“How can I get a work colleague to stop trying to get me in trouble with the boss just because they don’t like me?”

One of our lovely TMC followers needs some advice on how to deal with an upsetting work situation.

What advice would you have for our follower that is stuck in a situation that is making her work place toxic.

She loves her work and gets along with all the other colleagues.

Have you been in a similar situation? How did you get out of it?

TMC + Me

TMC always aim to be a supportive and inclusive space, and we often receive messages asking for advice on all sort of things.

As much as we will always try our best to give advice we are only our little admin team and sometimes it may be things we do not know much about.

So therefore we wanted to create a way for you all to ask us (and all followers) for advice, and hopefully get the support you need.

It will always be anonymous and it can be on any subject. We are an open minded bunch and won’t judge anyone.

What our community has said:

Yas: Best thing dont retaliate just do your job and dont give them the satisfaction of reacting to their pettiness x

Jackie: Do they have a whistle blowing procedure? Also, document EVERYTHING. Get a diary, and write down every encounter, and how it made you feel. Don’t gossip, go straight to the top if you’re not getting the support. Ask for constructive feedback, and also document the feedback. Ask what you can do to better the relationship. Even if you know you’re doing it, ask anyway. Document it.

DOCUMENT IT ALLLLL! Im sorry you’re going through this, work is hard enough without having to work alongside toxic people!

Sarah: Raise as a non formal complaint to the hr department under bullying and harassment in the work place. Raise is writing and try to keep the emotion out at this point and detail the facts – exactly what’s happening, any dates or times, anything that is recorded or witnesses, explain the impact on you and your mental health. Make sure you put what outcome you are looking for and that you would like to avoid raising as a formal grievance. Ask for a copy of the company policy on how this is dealt with and their anti bumming Employers have (usually called grievance procedure) and their anti bullying policy (although you should be able find this in the company handbook if they have one). Employers have a responsibility to safe guard employees. Always do everything and get everything in writing, even if it’s just an email after a meeting to summarise what was discussed. I work in HR and companies usually take this kind of complaint really seriously either because they care about their employees or don’t want to get sued.

Zoe: How awful 😞 I would pull the manager to one side without anybody noticing and let them know. I would make notes of everything too to show her. Failing that I’d get the big guns out 😅👊🏼👋🏼

Ash: This is a tricky one for certain! If nothing else, never let her get away with saying anything untrue or unjust… always stand up for yourself and be assertive and mature in your responses so that there is little for them to go on… she will eventually get bored of you

Kerrie: Sorry to hear this but I understand what you’re going through. I was in the exact same situation and in the end I lost my job because it was before my 3 month probation period. Not saying you will! It was a clicky place were I was. The things that were said about me were not true or she made it into a bigger thing than what it was. It was horrible! I was bullied and it sounds like you’re being bullied too. I wish I had joined a union because I lost my job before they heard my side of the story. Are you with a union? I would also tell the boss what has been happening and if that doesn’t change maybe the union can help. If things don’t change I’d keep my options open and look for other jobs. I’ve learned you need to look after number one. Hope things will change for you. Sending love ❤️

Abbey: We were in a very similar situation with my husband job. He got a new position and everything was fine for ages, got on really well with his colleagues and his new boss, but then a few months later his boss turned into the most repulsive person ever. Extending his hours so he didn’t see us anymore, phoned up on days off, called him etc ruined his life at work and eventually our home life. It was tough, my husband confronted his boss, maybe confront them about what they’re doing? – unfortunately it didn’t work for us. My husband ended up leaving the work place including all the lovely people he worked with & found so much more harmony at his new place. It’s a very tricky situation, but if the person cannot and will not stop what they’re doing and it is messing with your mental health and genuinely affecting your life, is the job really worth it? I know it only takes one person and jobs aren’t always easy to come by, but you are the one that is suffering from it. Also his their a head office or something that you can possibly report the behaviour to? Get people involved ❤️

Do you have any further advice for our mama? Please remember to keep the comments kind.

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Why getting outdoors is good for you We’ve all Why getting outdoors is good for you 

We’ve all had those days where everything is going wrong, we’re all shouting and feeling frustrated. The best piece of advice I ever received as a parent is in those times, get outside. There is something about everyone getting fresh air, and the physical space around you that helps calm any situation. 

Here are some more benefits to getting outside (whether it’s a walk or just sitting in the garden) 

🐞Lowers your blood pressure, reduces stress and improves your mood. 

🐞The fresh air also helps you sleep better 

🐞Improves focus — Studies show that both adults and children who have difficulties focusing or controlling impulses are better able to concentrate after being in nature.

🐞Helps us heal quicker - patients who spent time outdoors during their recovery required fewer painkillers, had fewer complications and experienced shorter hospital stays. 

🐞Tops up your vitamin D - Which is an important vitamin for overall health, as well as strong and healthy bones

🐞Improves your immune system - A study published in 2010 evaluated the effect of forest bathing on immune function. For a group of Japanese adults, a three-day trip to the forest increased the number of white blood cells in their blood. These levels of white blood cells stayed elevated for more than 30 days after their adventure in the woods! 

🐞Fosters a better imagination and creativity in children 

What are your favourite ways to enjoy being outside? 

(Thankyou to @simplejourneying for tagging us in this gorgeous photo)
Happy Monday Everyone! Meet a Mama Monday is a wo Happy Monday Everyone! 
Meet a Mama Monday is a wonderful way to meet & connect with likeminded people in our little community 

To Join in, all you have to do is;
❤️ Like & save this post.
❤️ Follow @thatmamaclub
❤️ Leave a comment telling us a little bit about yourself!

Then, all you do is go through the comments, follow and engage with others in this community who interest you!

If you would like to help spread the word and get more people involved, please feel free to share this post to your stories and/or tag people you think would like to join in. We are also trying something new on stories for Meet a Mama Monday - So head over and check it out!

Team TMC

*Please note - this is NOT a loop. You don't have to follow everyone back, you don't have to follow anyone at all if you don't want to- you follow who you like, who you're drawn
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Feels like the only time i have completely relaxed has been when i have fallen asleepat night!

Work is super busy at the moment, and having just recived a payrise i feel under pressureto do well!

Add to that the fact that Tolani was poorly and the pressure of me feeling stressed about staying home with her!

And when i sent her off to nursery after a few days i felt guilty towards her for not letting her stay home! 

The balance act of being a full time working mum is sometimes too much and i wish i could just get some time to be just me! 

Coming from Sweden i am used to a better work/family life balance where both parents take the same amount of responsibility!

UK is so different! 
As a matter of fact only 75.1% of mums work in the UK, which is 20% lower then dads working.

Whether you want to work or stay at home with your children, it should be your decision. NOT because you don't have a choice!

With nursery fees being crazy high its no wonder people can't afford it! 
Ours were £2,000 when both kids were in full-time nursery 🤯

Do you work? If you do, how do you find the work/family life balance? 

If you are a stay at home mum, is it by choice or could you just not afford to work?

#thatmamaclubig
#womenempowerwomen #workingmom #workingmum #workingmums #workingmama #stayathomemomlife #stayathomemum #workbalance #familylifebalance #stressedmom #stressedmum
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Nursery, school, homework, tantrums, playdates....

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It's fine to not be the same person as before, because let's face it we have been through something life changing as having a child.

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When I had my eldest I simply didn’t want to bre When I had my eldest I simply didn’t want to breastfeed. I had enough new things to learn (and a traumatic birth on top) so we gave formula from the start. For the sake of my own mental health, it was a decision I felt strongly about throughout pregnancy because I knew I would obsess and feel broken if breastfeeding ‘failed’

With the formula shortage crisis currently going on in America, there are many unhelpful comments telling people to just breastfeed instead. Apart from the fact you can’t just suddenly start producing milk, there are many reasons why some one may choose to use formula

🍼 They are taking a medication incompatible with breastfeeding 

🍼 Their milk supply simply wasn’t enough and couldn’t be improved 

🍼 Their baby has severe allergies (CMPA) 

🍼 They have adopted or used a surrogate 

🍼 They are a trauma survivor and breastfeeding is triggering for them 

🍼 They don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of others 

🍼 They actually pump and give that in a bottle so that they can rest and let others take a turn 

🍼 Likewise they have chosen to combi-feed 

Did you use formula for your baby? Let’s share our stories so others don’t feel afraid or ashamed to say they choose to use bottles 

Thankyou to @athomewiththevdbs for tagging us in her photo
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Why getting outdoors is good for you We’ve all Why getting outdoors is good for you 

We’ve all had those days where everything is going wrong, we’re all shouting and feeling frustrated. The best piece of advice I ever received as a parent is in those times, get outside. There is something about everyone getting fresh air, and the physical space around you that helps calm any situation. 

Here are some more benefits to getting outside (whether it’s a walk or just sitting in the garden) 

🐞Lowers your blood pressure, reduces stress and improves your mood. 

🐞The fresh air also helps you sleep better 

🐞Improves focus — Studies show that both adults and children who have difficulties focusing or controlling impulses are better able to concentrate after being in nature.

🐞Helps us heal quicker - patients who spent time outdoors during their recovery required fewer painkillers, had fewer complications and experienced shorter hospital stays. 

🐞Tops up your vitamin D - Which is an important vitamin for overall health, as well as strong and healthy bones

🐞Improves your immune system - A study published in 2010 evaluated the effect of forest bathing on immune function. For a group of Japanese adults, a three-day trip to the forest increased the number of white blood cells in their blood. These levels of white blood cells stayed elevated for more than 30 days after their adventure in the woods! 

🐞Fosters a better imagination and creativity in children 

What are your favourite ways to enjoy being outside? 

(Thankyou to @simplejourneying for tagging us in this gorgeous photo)
Happy Monday Everyone! Meet a Mama Monday is a wo Happy Monday Everyone! 
Meet a Mama Monday is a wonderful way to meet & connect with likeminded people in our little community 

To Join in, all you have to do is;
❤️ Like & save this post.
❤️ Follow @thatmamaclub
❤️ Leave a comment telling us a little bit about yourself!

Then, all you do is go through the comments, follow and engage with others in this community who interest you!

If you would like to help spread the word and get more people involved, please feel free to share this post to your stories and/or tag people you think would like to join in. We are also trying something new on stories for Meet a Mama Monday - So head over and check it out!

Team TMC

*Please note - this is NOT a loop. You don't have to follow everyone back, you don't have to follow anyone at all if you don't want to- you follow who you like, who you're drawn
to, who inspires you *

#communityovercompetition
#thatmamaclubig #thatmamaclubchallenge
#TMCmeetamamamonday
Ending this Friday evening with a magical post fro Ending this Friday evening with a magical post from @that.enchanted.life 

Aren't bluebell photos beautiful?😍

#thatmamaclubig #bluebells #bluebellwoods
What a week it has been! Feels like the only time What a week it has been!

Feels like the only time i have completely relaxed has been when i have fallen asleepat night!

Work is super busy at the moment, and having just recived a payrise i feel under pressureto do well!

Add to that the fact that Tolani was poorly and the pressure of me feeling stressed about staying home with her!

And when i sent her off to nursery after a few days i felt guilty towards her for not letting her stay home! 

The balance act of being a full time working mum is sometimes too much and i wish i could just get some time to be just me! 

Coming from Sweden i am used to a better work/family life balance where both parents take the same amount of responsibility!

UK is so different! 
As a matter of fact only 75.1% of mums work in the UK, which is 20% lower then dads working.

Whether you want to work or stay at home with your children, it should be your decision. NOT because you don't have a choice!

With nursery fees being crazy high its no wonder people can't afford it! 
Ours were £2,000 when both kids were in full-time nursery 🤯

Do you work? If you do, how do you find the work/family life balance? 

If you are a stay at home mum, is it by choice or could you just not afford to work?

#thatmamaclubig
#womenempowerwomen #workingmom #workingmum #workingmums #workingmama #stayathomemomlife #stayathomemum #workbalance #familylifebalance #stressedmom #stressedmum
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