I love to bake. Well… I love to eat. I love to eat the things I bake. Does that mean I am good? Absolutely not. HOWEVER one thing I have made and I have made bloody right – is these NYC Style Easter Cookies. I’m not one to blow my own trumpet but they are SO GOOD. I shared a photo on our Instagram stories whilst baking them and the response was crazy so figured I would share the recipe.
THE POWER OF SETTING GOALS, WELLBEING & HEALTH
BY CHLOE JONES (GUEST WRITER)
Chloe is here to share her top tips on on health, wellbeing and the power of setting goals!
More than ever, the importance of looking after our well-being and supporting each other is crucial. The pandemic has eroded many of the things that protect our mental health, including family support, social connections, and financial security. In particular, this lockdown is proving to be extra challenging due to the added pressure of home-schooling, cold weather, and shorter days. As we are no longer strangers to lockdown protocol, many people have coping tactics in place, but this hasn’t come easy for some. In times like this, it is essential to have kindness and compassion – not only to others but to yourself.
The low days
It is normal to feel low at some stage in our lives. Feeling sad, disheartened, frustrated, or worried are emotions we have all experienced, but this low mood often passes after a few days. It’s important to let yourselves feel these emotions but be careful not to stay in this place for too long. Today’s mood does not belong to tomorrow – tomorrow is always a fresh start.
I experience feelings of sorrow from time to time because it is part of being human. As much as we would all hope, it just isn’t feasible to live in a state of blissful happiness all day, every day. So, surrender to the low days, reflect on your feelings and let your mind refresh through sleep. This may sound easier said than done, and the current lockdown restrictions have been a real test of character for all of us, but with a bit of self-care, those bleak feelings can and will be overcome.
A healthy body and mind
What I have come to learn is that good health is about the mind and the body. Feeling good about ourselves and having adequate fitness levels will help us achieve more of the things we want to do in life. Unfortunately, even with my best efforts, stress always seems to lurk around the corner, making it difficult to avoid. It is important to seek new and innovative ways to escape this feeling.
More often than not, we feel isolated to deal with our problems when our connections are out of reach. Inspirational quotes and motivational writers are great at lifting spirits. After all, words have a powerful influence on our emotions. They can be used constructively with words of wisdom or destructively with words of despair. When the going gets tough, words have the energy to help, support, and heal us. A fantastic account that provides me with a burst of wisdom and focuses my mind is Kimberley Jane. Her posts offer me encouragement and motivate me to focus on my passions and ambitions.
She also provides a range of natural self-care remedies and products to keep you feeling uplifted and in a strong state of mind – she is well worth a follow! Another favourite of mine is the Scummy Mummies Podcast. With guest hosts, they discuss the reality of parenthood with a comedic touch. They always boost my morale and help me see the funny side of life. Boos are also a great way to understand certain emotions and can help you see clarity. A few I would recommend are: The Power of Positive Thinking, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and Reasons to Stay Alive.
Positive habits
Having a healthy body and mind involves creating positive habits. These include sleeping well, being active, eating well, having healthy relationships, and feeling comfortable in our skin. Another way to focus on our mental health is by setting goals. We often lose motivation and willpower in stressful moments, making it harder to plan or be excited about activities. However, it is through these difficult times that planning and structure are most important.
Setting goals is a tool that helps us focus on the critical aspects of our lives. I think it is safe to say that everyone realises the importance of goal setting but adapting them as we move through life is overlooked. I often have to work towards deadlines and goals in my work life, but I’ve never truly set myself a goal that is special to me. I decided that to improve my health and well-being, it was time to focus my attention on setting and achieving my lifelong goals. I needed something that focused my mind and inspired me to get the best out of my life.
THE POWER OF SETTING GOALS
Setting goals
Deciding on an appropriate and specific goal is a difficult task in itself. How many times have you set yourself a new year’s resolution and then actually achieved it? The truth is, some goals are achieved while others are not. This is because they seem so out of our reach, and the prospect of actually achieving them seems impossible. We tend to value things we have in the present far more than we value things we are aspiring for in the future.
More often than not, people set goals that are too vague, frame them with negative language, and rarely reflect people’s genuine aspirations. It is time to take an approach rooted in reality and constructed for you and your passions. Even if we don’t realise it, we all have a plan for our life; we dream about where we would like to be and imagine our futures. Without goals, we are just aimlessly stumbling through life.
Achieving your goals
Now the hard part – not just finding the power in setting goals but actually achieving these goals. Long-term goals may take years to complete and may seem like a distant dream in the present moment. However, by breaking this down into a series of smaller short-term goals, you will find yourself more focused and motivated. It may feel overwhelming at first, but once you’ve set out a structured and manageable plan, your long-term goal will become more transparent and plainer insight.
Seeing progress may take time, but growth will emerge as you journey through and cross off those smaller short-term goals. Like me, you may prefer writing everything down and crossing it off as you achieve them. To accomplish this, it may help to organise your goals into a monthly schedule and then break these down further into daily tasks. At first, it may seem daunting and difficult to achieve something every day, but in no time at all, this will become a habit, and you will learn how to manage and maximise your time efficiently. I have created a workbook for those needing a little inspiration on getting started; you can download it for free here.
Setting new goals helps trigger new positive behaviours, enables you to measure your progress, and sustains that momentum in life. The road to achieving your goals is never straight, and there will always be detours and bumps along the way – embrace these as they are all part of the journey.
We hope you enjoyed Chloe’s tips on wellbeing, health & the power of setting goals! Do you believe their is power in setting goals?
YOU CAN FIND CHLOE ON;
INSTAGRAM: THE_OUTDOORSY_MUM
STORY SCRIBING WITH YOUNG CHILDREN
BY VICKI YADAV (GUEST WRITER)
STORY SCRIBING
Hello! I’m Vicki, founder of Primary Steps, an online consultancy for parents of 3-7 year olds. I am really excited to share with you a little bit about Story Scribing; a technique used in many Early Years and Infant settings, and a very easy thing for you to try at home.
What and Why?
Put simply, story scribing is recording your child’s stories for them. It is a really valuable opportunity to support children’s understanding of themselves as authors and to value the creativity and composition of writing – because writing is not just about being able to physically transcribe words. Story scribing is not an alternative to encouraging young children to make marks and write; rather it is a technique to use in addition to or alongside their mark making opportunities. With the pressure of the handwriting, phonics and grammar taken away, children are able to focus on just simply the telling of the story. They are able to become an author rather than needing to be a “writer”.
How?
To begin with, I recommend modelling scribing your own stories. Have a special family story book and either tell your story aloud and write it down yourself or tell it to another family member to scribe for you. In order to model good writing habits it is important to say aloud each sentence before it is written down, record it and then regularly re-read what you have written to check it makes sense.
Find times within the week to share your stories as a family and to give the stories an audience. If you have enough family members you may also like to act them out! Once your child has observed you composing your own stories and either scribing them or
having them scribed, you can offer them the opportunity to join in. Be patient as for some children it may take them a while to feel confident in sharing their thoughts and ideas. This should be a relaxed, unpressured opportunity for your child to share their story rather than a planned and timetabled activity I recommend that you sit next to your child so they can see you recording their words.
It is important that you write exactly what they say, even if it is not grammatically correct, to show you value their words. To begin with, their stories may consist of only one sentence, i.e. ‘I played in the snow’ or even several single words. This is very common and you will see their ideas develop with time, experience and increased confidence.
Some children may like to help with the writing; that is great and welcome their enthusiasm but don’t worry if this is not the case – remember the main purpose is composition not transcription. My final tip for story scribing with your child is to make it fun! Children love silly stories;
they love stories which include family members and friends – best of all they love stories which include family members and friends doing silly things!
This is a chance for your child to experiment and explore the use of words and sentence structure and it has the potential to really help them fall in love with storytelling!
YOU CAN FIND VICKI ON;
INSTAGRAM: PRIMARY STEPS
WEBSITE : PRIMARY STEPS
RUNNING A SMALL BUSINESS AS A PARENT
Ad | this post contains affiliate links
I absolutely hate having time off- which is both a great thing and a terrible thing when you’re a self employed person. Life can be chaotic and unpredictable, and it can also be quiet and slow.
Both myself and my partner are self-employed, and have been throughout our entire careers- he’s a singer turned cruise director, and I’m a performer, performing arts teacher, and examiner (amongst other things- I told you it’s chaotic). So as you can imagine, covid has absolutely FUCKED us. All our relevant industries have been decimated, and the performance and cruising industries have been left out to dry with little to no support, and no plan in place to return any time soon. We get our hopes up, just to have them dashed again by new variants, restrictions, and lockdowns. Le sigh.
Enter River, my son, 6 days before lockdown 1.0 (his timing is impeccable), and we were quietly nervy to say the least. But Robert was due to return to the ship in May, and I’d be on maternity until October anyway, and *surely* this will all blow over by then? Hindsight is a wonderful thing. So as it goes, we’ve not had even a sniff of work in over A YEAR, and we now have a dependent. Talk about all your chickens coming home to roost. So, I did what I do best. I rolled up my sleeves, made a plan, and I got the fuck to work.
And thus, my second baby was born. I created a small range of clothes for babies, kids, and their parents to twin! A gender neutral, simple and classic set of designs, easy to style, and comfortable to wear. Up until this point, I had struggled to find clothes that *truly* hit all of those essential points for me- so I did it myself. I used the following I had gained in starting my blog, and started a tiny little shop- F*ck! I’m a Parent: The Store. After a few months and a rebrand, I’ve settled on River & Six.
Now running a business is much like running a family. There are schedules to stick to, people to please, and caring so damn much about the product that you wonder how you’ll ever have space in your brain for anything again. It’s late nights and early starts, mess and stress, and exhilarating, anxiety inducing, and personal. Your heart bursts when orders come in, and sinks when they don’t. Every bit of your spare time becomes consumed with thoughts and decisions, like new products, which form of marketing you’ll try, how much money you need, and how you can crack a new market. But really (even though you know you are), you’ll keep wondering if you’re good enough. And running a business *alongside* a family- phew! The hours in the day just seem to evaporate, don’t they? You can’t take annual leave when you’re the only employee, you can’t take a sick day when the work you’re creating is feeding your family. You’re going to feel guilty about spending too much time with one and not enough with the other.
I’m by no means an expert, but this is a small list of things that have helped me keep my head above water…
Outsource where you can
This is a big one. Just because you can do it yourself, doesn’t mean you have to. If you can afford to, get someone on board to take on one of your jobs, be that production, design, accounting, or even sending a few Insta stories here there and everywhere. I utilise a local business where I live to help with production (another boy mama as well, girls supporting girls), and that allows me time to focus on designing, website management, and social media.
Ask for help
Get your followers sharing, liking, commenting, saving your posts! It doesn’t cost them anything, and it can really help with your marketing. Instagram especially is incredibly fickle with its ever changing algorithm, and it drives small business owners up the wall- but engagement from fans and customers provides a real boost. Also, practical help as well- I’m forever sending Robert out to the post office, or to grab me more labels. Burning out doesn’t make us Superwoman- asking for help can be the difference between a good day and a bad day, for both your business and your family.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask for the right help from employees or those you outsource. This might even involve ensuring your investment and trust is well placed by investing in a SEQOHS Safety critical medical near me, ensuring that no difficult surprises have to be dealt with while you’re trying to manage two intensive responsibilities. That kind of help can be invaluable.
Multitask like a boss
Instead of making a specific trip to the post office, hold off until it can tie in with a nap. Rather than spending 40 minutes in the kitchen doing dinner, dump a load of stuff in a slow cooker that morning, and use the time to play with your kid, or reply to emails. Use the shit out of your playpen or jumperoo, and don’t feel bad about sticking Little Baby Bum on while you get something done. (see attached photo of River stuck in his pen while I answer emails!) Work out where you can streamline anything that takes up time, and give it a go! I also try to get ahead of myself, lining up posts a few days ahead that can be fired out without too much thought.
Don’t feel bad
Everyone is different. Don’t look at another business and wonder how they’re managing so well, when you feel stretched so thin. And certainly don’t take any idiotic posts from MLM ‘business owners’ remarking that we ‘all have the same hours in a day, how we choose to use them determines our success’. Bollocks to that (but that’s a discussion for another time). I know even day to day that my circumstances change, so just take each one as it comes, and don’t expect too much of anything. And as soon as social media starts to get in your head, put your phone away for a little while.
Prioritise
Sometimes, something is going to have to take a backseat. When I relaunched the shop under the new name and design, I also released a new collection along with it. This took up a lot of my time and required a lot of concentration, so much like if my job took me out to an office, Robert jumped on parenting duties so I could crack on. And when River was teething and clingy, the shop just simply had to wait. My personal account has fallen into the realm of micro-influencer, so I’m working double on getting likes and engagement now, and sometimes a product review or promotion has a time frame. It can feel like I’m juggling a lot, but compartmentalising and prioritising (even though as a type B person I’m quite shit at both) has just about kept me afloat.
Know when to say no
Sometimes, it can just simply wait. Don’t feel obliged to reply to a customer at 9pm, just because the baby is asleep and you’ve got the time. Allow yourself to rest, and set boundaries for yourself- this is your world and it’s your rules. Always remember that if you’re running a small business, If you don’t take care of yourself, the rest can’t fall into place.
The balancing act is Cirque du Soleil level, especially when it feels like there is so much at stake. But I would encourage anyone with an idea they believe in to give it a good go. It can be thrilling and incredibly rewarding, whether it’s a hobby turned tiny crafting empire, or a service that you offer.
Are you currently running a small business?
YOU CAN FIND MELISSA ON;
PERSONAL INSTAGRAM: I AM MELTEASER
SHOP INSTAGRAM: RIVER & SIX
BUSTING VAGINA MYTHS | COMMON MYTHS THAT ARE COMPLETELY FALSE
In my 28 years of having a vagina I have heard a LOT of myths surrounding it and as a teenager I believed every single one. It’s no secret that women don’t discuss their vagina’s anywhere near as much as men talk about their penis’ – however it’s not through lack of interest. We just don’t feel the need to strike up a conversation about it every chance we get. With that being said, the less we talk about something, the more wide spread & bizarre the myths and rumours get. So we are here, busting vagina myths!
THAT YOUR VAGINA SHOULD SELF LUBRICATE ON CUE
Funnily enough, no. As much as people like to think vagina’s are ready at the flick of a finger, NO! I think as a younger person you associate “vaginal dryness” with older women, but it is actually incredibly normal! Things such as breastfeeding, certain medications and going through menopause can impact your self lubrication. Foreplay is incredibly important for women, not just because it can feel good.. DUH, but to make sure we are prepped and ready for sex. Also, lube exists for a reason.
THE MORE YOU MASTURBATE, THE LESS SENSITIVE YOUR VAGINA WILL BECOME
The “logic” behind this is that the more you do it, the more your body gets used to it, so stops responding – especially when using vibrating toys. There is also the myth that other things won’t feel as good because your body grows accustom to your toy. Which is all completely false. There is absolutely no evidence to back any of this up and has someone who has used vibrating toys for… 10 years.. i’m all good thank you.
HAVING LOTS OF SEX OR A BABY CAN CAUSE LOOSENESS”
The vaginal muscles are incredibly stretchy and whilst obviously the vagina does expand when aroused or to give birth – it shrinks back to its normal size! So having lots of sex or a baby does NOT affect vaginal “tightness”.
THAT WOMEN CAN COME FROM VAGINAL STIMULATION ALONE
Did you know only 30% of women can come from penetrative sex alone? I am gonna tell you right now that I am NOT one of those women. There’s a reason the clitoris is the only body part that’s use is SOLELY for pleasure. Penetrative sex is not the be all and end all of orgasms. Every vagina is different and everyone’s body reacts differently – explore and discover what you like!
THAT DISCHARGE MEANS YOUR VAGINA IS DIRTY
WRONG. It is totally normal and HEALTHY to have vaginal discharge. Discharge is actually the vagina’s way of self cleaning (PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VAGINA ALONE WHEN IT COMES TO CLEANING!), it is full of healthy bacteria and protects against infections. Obviously you know your body (and what comes out of it), so if you experience any itchiness, a change in smell, more discharge than normal then get a self-test or go to the doctor.
ALL LABIAS LOOK A SPECIFIC WAY
I can’t even… no. NO NO NO. Despite its size, shape or length… your labia is NORMAL.
YOUR CHERRY “POPS” AFTER SEX
Sure, the hymen (which is a band of tissue in the back part of your vagina) can tear and bleed during your first sexual intercourse experience but it can also break by using a tampon, horse riding, or dancing! It is not always a first time sex thing.
There you have it! We hope you found this post useful – us busting vagina myths! What is a myth you believed growing up about your vagina or sex?
WAYS TO HANDLE FEELING OVERWHELMED
BY RACHAEL
I don’t think i’m alone in admitting that I have been feeling really overwhelmed recently. I have definitely found this lockdown the hardest & most isolating. I think the crappy weather is the main cause of that but also trying to juggle two young children, housework, running TMC & being a good partner, it can be a LOT. There are a couple things I have been doing whenever I feel overwhelmed or unmotivated & they have definitely helped! So we thought we would share ways to handle feeling overwhelmed, and hopefully they’ll help you too.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEELING
It is totally normal, especially at the minute, to feel overwhelmed. Whether you are trying to juggle working from home whilst home schooling children or just generally keep your head above water! Acknowledging and accepting feeling overwhelmed is a form of self acceptance. From here, you will be able to understand it and begin managing it.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
Whether it is family & friends, or in your online space. Surrounding yourself with positive & supportive people is SO important! I am incredibly lucky to have such a supportive partner and immediate family. I am also lucky enough to work with the best people behind the scenes on TMC, we are always there with a supportive meme or to simply ask “how can I help you?” when someone is struggling.
TAKE A BREAK
When you feel that surge of overwhelm rising; stop, take a minute & breathe. Go for a walk, read a chapter of your book… whatever it is that distracts and makes you happy. Taking some time to yourself can really help you gain perspective on your life.
FOCUS ON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Whether it is watching an episode of your favourite tv show, listening to a podcast, taking a bath, ringing a family member.. doing at least one thing a day that makes you happy can be the perfect distraction.
REMIND YOURSELF OF HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME
I know it is easy to forget but we are already absolutely SMASHING life just by getting through the day. I think it is so important that we all celebrate every single win, no matter how small and really acknowledge & appreciate everything you have achieved.
KNOW WHAT IS IN YOUR CONTROL
Acknowledge exactly what you are in control of; the housework, sure. That is all down to you & your household (unless you have a cleaner – lucky bugger LOL), but if you’re feeling overwhelmed watching live news updates every day – REMOVE IT FROM YOUR LIFE. That’s not to say to remove it completely but maybe start to only tune in once a week. Don’t actively go searching on social media for false news & rumours. Especially at the minute when everything is a waiting game. It is crucial to know EXACTLY what you have control over.
We really hope you enjoyed our post on ways to handle feeling overwhelmed. Do you have any tips?
EXPAT MAMA LIFE | GUEST POST
BY CAROLA (GUEST WRITER)
How Becoming A Parent Amplified My Longing For Home
EXPAT LIFE
How long has it been since you’ve seen your parents, your in-laws or spent some quality time with your extended family? Conversations with my friends usually circle back to the usual topics at this moment in time – home schooling and working from home but also how our families are doing. Most of my friends still see their parents or in-laws regularly, having either formed a bubble with them to help out with childcare or running errands for them, scheduling socially-distanced visits on a weekly basis.
As an expat living in the UK, not seeing my family and my mother is something of a norm for me. In a normal year, I probably see them once, or twice when we visit during the school holidays, and we phone each other regularly or use modern technology to overcome the obstacles of hundreds of miles between us. Family to me are my people – they are the silent but steady force behind me, a stronghold that lets me get on with life, but is quietly in the background, always ready to talk, to laugh, to cry, to share and give advice. I am fully aware that not everyone has a good relationship with their family and I am very lucky with mine. It doesn’t mean we always see eye to eye, but they are unconditionally supportive of me and my little family unit. And that is utterly priceless.
Whilst my wonderful bond with my family is a shining beacon of light in my world, it also means that I miss them terribly and especially since becoming a mother myself, I often feel pangs of homesickness and a longing to have them close by, that is the reality of expat life. I can’t ring my mum and ask her to give me a hand with the kids when I am feeling totally overwhelmed. I am unable to take advantage of brothers, cousins, aunts and, worst of all, I feel unable to voice those feelings of loneliness to people around me.
“Surely, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you moved to a different country!”, “Just face-time them!”, “The flight’s not that long!”, “Just move back!”
Those are just some of the comments I’ve heard since beginning my expat life and, although some of them mean well, they aren’t the solution to occasional desperate longings for my family support. Before Covid, when my mother visited and stayed for weeks, I indulged in blissful moments of watching her with her grandchildren, but also enjoyed a few more moments to myself, knowing my kids were looked after and safe whilst I took an extra five minutes in the shower, cooked without having to play referee in yet another sibling argument or, the biggest luxury of all, went for a quick walk around the block with my partner. Just the two of us. I don’t want someone to have my children for weekends or weeks so I can disappear. It’s those small moments of support in everyday life I crave and need.
I speak to one of my friends who is Brazilian and had to cancel her flights home last Christmas. Her Fernweh* is on par with mine, albeit the journey she faces home is in itself a bit of an odyssey. Like me, she terribly misses her family and Covid has made her life a misery in more than one way. A constant sunseeker and serial globe trotter, my friend, a single mum of one, lives for travel and yearns for the help of her parents with her son. “My parents miss us and I miss them. Having help with a young child from parents is invaluable and I don’t have that here. Now I can’t even go back home to spend a few weeks with them.”
Another friend of mine, mother of two under 5s, had to cancel journeys abroad to see her family numerous times, too.
“I have resigned to the fact that we’ll just be communicating through facetime for now. Who knows when the borders open again, and when it is safe to travel. I am grateful everyone is safe and well, but it doesn’t make it easier. I miss seeing my family, I miss being back home, I am so upset my parents are missing out on seeing their grandchildren even more so now than ever before.”
Expat mums don’t need sympathy or pity – we know we made a choice and know to live our lives in gratitude for modern technology, the invention of aeroplanes and the gift of travelling and living wherever we want to. However, especially in times like this, the fact of not having our immediate families around is amplified and we are desperately waiting for the times we can see our loved ones again and hold them, watch our children spend time with their grandparents and hang out with our siblings and their brood.
We’re made of strong stuff, and we adore the friends that have become our family wherever we are. Don’t hold it against us that sometimes, we just need and want our own tribe and experience a bit of Heimweh**.
* Fernweh – German untranslatable expression for a longing to travel and to be somewhere else
**Heimweh – German for homesickness
We hope you enjoyed Carola’s guest post on expat life!
Carola is a writer, content and copywriter and published author. When she isn’t posing in high heels and leopard print for Instagram, she is writing poems, short stories and articles. You can find her on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter @chameleoninhighheels , or on her blog page www.chameleoninhighheels.com
INSTAGRAM: CHAMELEON IN HIGH HEELS
WEBSITE: CHAMELEON IN HIGH HEELS
TOP TIPS FOR TAKING PHOTOS OF YOUR CHILDREN
BY HELEN SCHRYVER (GUEST WRITER)
Everything’s a bit rubbish at the moment isn’t it? I can’t wait until I can get back to work with my camera again, capturing glorious everyday family life in my clients’ homes. I know I’m not the only mum trying to juggle home schooling with running a business or working from home too!
Having said that, these are as they say ‘unprecedented times’ .. that I guess we might want to remember in years to come! If you fancy a change from making banana bread why not grab your camera (or phone) and document this weird old time – if nothing else, the photos will be pretty interesting for your kids to look back on when they’re older.
To get you started, here are five top tips for taking photos of your children.
1). Get down low
My number one tip for instantly improving your photographs of younger kids is to get down on their level. Rather than shooting down on them from above, crouch down so you’re at an equal height and snap away. The same applies for babies too (yep, that often means lying down on your tummy!).
2). Don’t say “cheese”..
Ask a child around age 3 and up to “say cheese” and they’ll likely produce an especially fake and well.. “cheesy” grin reserved especially for when they’re asked to smile on cue! Aim for natural smiles and laughs – try capturing them running towards you for a hug, being tickled, or enjoying an ice-cream.
I also love capturing a child’s serious side. Here’s a particularly sulky pic of my daughter Olivia. I love this photo of her!
3). Shoot them just as they are
Forget the hassle of sprucing your kids up for family photos and capture them wild, free and even a little bit scruffy! It’s lovely to embrace the ‘realness’ of your family, just as you are. One of my favourite pics of my daughter is of her sporting her ‘post-beach’ look. Tangled hair, sand stained knickers and bare legs complete with grubby knees. Love.
4). When shooting indoors, use natural light where possible.
The flashes on mobile phones (and even the pop-up ones on expensive cameras) produce light so unflattering you’re honestly better off without them!
Indoors, try capturing photos near a large window whilst it’s still light outside for the best results. Worry less about what the surroundings look like, and more about the quality of light. Turn off that flash!
5). Get outdoors
Outside, you have plenty of options. A cloudy day gives a nice even light that’s easy to work with.
If it’s a sunny day, try holding out until an hour or so before sunset (termed ‘the golden hour’ for good reason) then snap away – you’ll have stunning golden sunlight that’s super pretty, and it’s less ‘squinty’ for your subjects than midday sun too!
Download 5 more bonus tips in my FREE guide here!
Top 10 Tips For Taking Photos of Your Kids In Lockdown
Do let me know how you get on with taking photos of your kids! I’d love for you to share your images with me on Instagram or Facebook by tagging @schryverphoto.
Good luck!
Helen x
P.S. Parents (particularly mums, myself included!) are usually guilty of spending all their time behind the camera and none in front of it. I know, you hate having your photo taken.. but don’t you cherish those old snaps of you as a child with your mum and dad? When they’re older, your children will love to look back on old photographs of you – you’re perfect in their eyes . Consider hiring a professional photographer – like me! – to capture all those perfectly real family moments.
My photo sessions are good fun! It’s just you as a family, hanging out and doing whatever you love (baking, playing games, wrestling, watching Disney films..), with me and my camera there with you to capture the magic.
We hope you enjoyed these top tips for taking photos of your children & thank you Helen for this amazing post! It is going to be so helpful to so many people!
YOU CAN FIND HELEN ON;
www.schryverphoto.com
helen@schryverphoto.com
https://instagram.com/schryverphoto
https://facebook.com/schryverphotography
VALENTINE’S ACTIVITIES FOR EVERYONE
We are here with a MEGA wrap up of all the best Valentine’s activities. We asked our fabulous Instagram community to share THEIR recipes, craft activities and sensory play set ups & we are sharing them with you!
BAKING
HEART BISCUITS
IMAGE & RECIPE COURTESY OF; CLARE’S PRETTY THINGS
For these gorgeous biscuits you will need;
– 250g butter
– 140g caster sugar
– 1 egg yolk
– 2 tsp vanilla extract
– 300g plain flour
– 250g chocolate
– Sprinkles
– Mix butter and sugar together until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs
– Add the egg yolk and vanilla extract and mix
– Sift in the flour and combine to form a ball. Wrap in cling film and pop in the fridge for 20-30 mins
– Turn the oven on to 180C/160C fan and put some parchment paper on a baking sheet.
– Roll out the dough on a floured surface and use cookie cutters to make your favourite shapes then transfer to the baking sheet
– Bake in the middle of the oven for 10-12 minutes
– Allow to cool on baking sheet before transferring to a wire rack
– Dip in chocolate and cover in sprinkles.
VALENTINE’S OREOS
IMAGE & RECIPE COURTESY OF; SHANLEY LIFE
You simply melt white chocolate & mix in a drop of red food colouring, cover half an Oreo, add sprinkles & edible eyes! Et voila.
VALENTINE’S CHEESECAKE
IMAGE & RECIPE COURTESY OF; CHLOE_JADEE
Base:
– 300g digestive biscuits (bash them up! Or blitz in blender)
– 150g salted butter to melt
– Mix & put in fridge for a bout 2/3hours.
Filling:
– 700g full fat cream cheese (room temperature)
– 50g icing sugar
– 2 tea spoons vanilla extract
– Mix & add to base of cheesecake & back to the fridge for 4hrs (ish!)
Topping:
– Chocolate heart sweets
– Melted chocolate hearts- melt some chocolate chips (or bar of cooking choc) I used a cutter to dip in the chocolate and put it straight on some baking paper & in the fridge to set.
– If you want to make your own hearts you can!
– Decorate when set!
LADYBIRD BISCUITS
PHOTO & RECIPE COURTESY OF; EMMA BISH
– 150g unsalted butter
– 100g caster sugar
– 50g light brown sugar
– 1 medium egg
– 1 tsp vanilla essence
– 300g plain flour
– Cream butter and sugars together until light and fluffy
– Beat in the egg and vanilla essence
– Sift in the flour and mix till combined, roll into a ball, wrap with clingfilm and then pop in the fridge for 30 mins
– Roll out the dough to approximately 1/2cm thick and cut into hearts, bake for approximately 10-12 mins at 180c
– Rollout the red icing and cut into hearts slightly smaller than the biscuits.
– Top each biscuit with a red fondant heart dampen the back with water or icing sugar and water mixed to a thin consistency and then gently press to secure in place.
– Use black icing to pipe on the details add edible eyes and leave to set!
PINK CRISPY HEARTS
PHOTO & RECIPE COURTESY OF; KRISTIE CRAFTS
– 50g butter plus extra for greasing
– 350g marshmallows
– 200g Rice Crispies
– Pink food colouring
– Grease a baking tray with butter
– Melt the 50g of butter in a pan over a low heat
– Add in the marshmallows and stir until completely melted
– Take off the heat and add a few drops of food colouring
– Stir in the Rice Crispies
– Press the mix into your baking tray and leave to cool
– Once fully cooled cut out heart shapes with a cookie cutter
– Push in a lolly/cake pop stick and enjoy!
SHORTBREAD VALENTINE’S BISCUITS
PHOTO & IMAGE COURTESY OF; ADVENTURES AT NUMBER 28
– 250g butter softened
– 100g caster sugar
– 300g plain flour
– 50g ground almonds
– Zest 1 lemon
– 2tbsp milk
– Jam/Nutella
– Icing sugar
– Line two baking sheets with baking paper.
– In large bowl cream butter & sugar until light and fluffy.
– Beat in lemon, flour and ground almonds
– Add milk to form a dough. Wrap in clingfilm put in fridge for at least 30 mins.
– Pre heat oven to 160•c fan or 180•c.
– Roll out dough to 4mm thickness.
– Cut out 24 biscuits with heart cutter. With smaller cutter cut out the centres of 12 (these are the tops)
– Bake for 10-12 mins place on wire rack to cool.
– Spread jam or Nutella on the bottoms then sandwich the tops on top. Dust with icing sugar.
HEART SUGAR COOKIES
PHOTO & RECIPE COURTESY OF; JACQUI JOLIE
– 2 and 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
– 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
– 1/4 teaspoon salt
– 3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
– 3/4 cup granulated sugar
– 1 large egg, at room temperature
– 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
– 1/4 or 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
Combine dry ingredients and set aside. Mix butter and sugar on high speed until combined. Add egg, vanilla & almond extract and beat until smooth and creamy. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix on low until combined. Add 1 tbsp more flour if too sticky.
Divide dough into 2 equal parts. Roll the dough out to about 1/4-inch thickness. Lightly dust one of the rolled-out doughs with flour and place piece of parchment on top; place the 2nd rolled-out dough on top. Cover and refrigerate for 1 to 2 hours. Then bake at 350F/160C (fan oven) for 10 to 12 minutes.
SHORTBREAD JAM HEARTS
PHOTO & RECIPE COURTESY OF; RAMBLINGS OF A SCOTTISH MAMMY
– 110g caster sugar
– 250g of unsalted butter (a butter block is perfect- no measuring!)
– 360g plain flour (and a little extra for rolling)
– Jam of your choice- I prefer strawberry but any would work
– Icing sugar (just a small amount is needed. If you don’t have icing sugar put a little caster sugar on top before putting into the fridge)
– Make sure your butter is softened before starting this. Give it half an hour out of the fridge or until it feels soft to touch.
– Mix together the butter and caster sugar until you have a soft paste. Add in the flour until you form a dough.
– Line a baking tray with some baking parchment so they don’t stick.
– Roll out the dough to about 1cm thickness on a floured surface and cut to size. I used a heart shaped cutter but could easily just use a knife. On half the biscuits cut out another smaller shape. Use a fork and create small dents on the top (as a typical shortbread would have).
– Once finished put the baking tray in the fridge for 5-10 minutes until the biscuits harden up slightly. (If you don’t have icing sugar this is when you would put a little caster sugar on top).
– Preheat oven to 190 degrees. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden on top.
– Let cool and then put jam on the full biscuits and sandwich together with the cut out halves. Dust with a little icing sugar to finish.
LOVE BUG BISCUITS
PHOTO & RECIPE COURTESY OF; SAM SCOTTWOOD
Use a heart shaped cookie cutter to cut out a basic shortbread biscuit recipe, then bake and cool.
For the decoration; the icing is glacé icing (icing sugar and water) with some food colouring (we used red to make two shades of pink) and then any decorations you like (although in our house there have to be eyes on pretty much anything we make
CRAFTS
They are all super simple & fun for everyone! We have spent the past few days actually creating some lovely t-shirts for the boys – we stumbled across these CUTE Baseball Mom SVG & Basketball Mom SVG stickers and it makes me insanely bitter that I won’t be given the opportunity to ROCK them – LOL.
CARDBOARD HEARTS \\PHOTO COURTESY OF; CLARE’S PRETTY THINGS
HEART WANDS \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF; EMILY THOMAS
LOVE BUGS \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF; DOYLE FAMILY LIFE
MOSAIC HEARTS \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF THE DIARY OF MUM
LADYBIRD CRAFT \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF BECKY
– White card (you could use black card for the big if you didn’t want to paint it I just didn’t have any)
– 2 Split pins
– Red paint
– Black paint
– Stick on eyes
– Scissors
– Pva glue
– Hole Punch
– A photo of your choice, of your child, to stick inside.
– Cover your children’s hand with red paint with a brush
– Leave to dry
– Paint half an a4 piece of card black.
– Once dry cut the handprints
– On the back of the card painted black draw around two cups. One larger than the other.
– Cut the two circles out.
– Stick the larger circle to the bottom of the smaller circle.
– Hole punch two holes on either side of the top of the big circle.
– Punch a hole at the bottom of each hand print.
– Stick a split pin through each hand print and put through the holes on the bug.
– Stick on two eyes using pva glue.
– Stick a photo underneath your wings.
– Cut out two antennae and stick to the back of the small circle.
LOVE HEART WREATH // PHOTO COURTESY OF CHELSEY
HEART GARLAND \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF NORSE PROJECTS
LOVE BUG WREATH \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF KAYLEY BAKER
– Thin card/ paper
– Glue/ glue gun
– Paint
– Stickers
– Paper plate (I used an acrylic plate I had laying around)
– Cut your hearts (I folded the thin card in half and then drew a half heart stencil and cut them out)
– Paint the hearts (I blue tacked them to the surface so they were easier for my daughter to paint)
– Use stickers on your plate or cut a hole in the middle
– Glue hearts around the outside
– I then glued a small hoop of string to the top/back so I could hang it up
HEART SHAPED BIRD FEEDER \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF OUR DARLING DAYS
– Cardboard heart wreath templates
– Spread it with peanut butter
– Sprinkle and pat down the bird seeds
– Tie with ribbon
TOILET ROLL PRINT \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF POSH LEMONS
SALT DOUGH FRAMES & HOT AIR BALLOON \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF EVERY DAY MUM
– 4 cups pain flour
– 1 cup salt
– 1 1/2 cups water
– Mix together to make a dough and knead for 10 mins. Roll till smooth and flat (approx 1-2 cm thick). You can use cookie cutters or do free hand.
– Place on parchment paper and bake @250 for 1-2 hours till hard.
– Then the fun not to paint and decorate how you like. We painted them and decided to stick photos
TOILET ROLL BUTTERFLY’S \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF ZARAH LOVES TEA
TEA LIGHT HOLDER \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF TEDDY’S TRIO
CARDS
THUMB BUGGY CARD \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF \\ SIMPLY TOGETHER
YOU MAKE MY HEART FLUTTER \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF GEM
“LOVE” CARDS \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF MUMMY NELLIE
LOVE HEART FEET \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF BERRY TIRED MAMA
SENSORY
LOVE BUGS RICE SENSORY \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF BABY HOLMES
PINK GELLI PLAY FROM ZIMPLI KIDS \\ PHOTO COURTESY OF DOYLE FAMILY LIFE
We really hope you enjoyed seeing all these Valentine’s crafts ideas!
LOCKDOWN SLEEP TIPS | GUEST POST
BY HANNAH CLAPHAM (GUEST WRITER)
LOCKDOWN SLEEP TIPS
As a sleep coach I have seen a significant rise in sleep problems for little people with each lockdown that comes around. January 2021 seems to be a crisis point for a lot of families in terms of sleep and it’s no mystery why. Home schooling. Lack of extended family and close friends around. Working from home whilst juggling childcare. Nurseries closing. Quarantining due to illness or exposure to Covid. Here are some of my lockdown sleep tips.
Parents are burnt out and worried about money, work and wellbeing. Routines have gone out the window for lots of us. Loved ones may be poorly or vulnerable right now. And none of us saw this coming, or thought it would go on this long.
So first of all, give yourself a break. I read something by parenting guru Sarah Ockwell-Smith recently that said she didn’t use the phrase self-care – it has become too much of another chore or thing on the to-do list. Instead she talks about self-kindness. That doesn’t mean lighting a scented candle or wearing a facemask in the bath, it’s not about posting an inspirational quote on Instagram or going anywhere specific. It’s about treating yourself with kindness throughout your day regardless of what you’re doing. This really resonated with me and is something I am trying to practise even when I’m in the midst of the most tedious of parenting tasks.
Sleep matters. We know this and yet even before the pandemic the whole world has been in the grips of a massive sleep deprivation epidemic. Whether you’re a parent or not, even if your little one is sleeping soundly through the night, the odds are you are not getting enough sleep and this needs to change.
So what can we do?
If you have a baby or toddler the following things have been proved to improve sleep quality and duration:
- Lots of exposure to daylight, especially in the afternoon. If you can’t leave the house due to shielding, open those windows!
- Have a loose daily rhythm which means you wake, sleep and eat meals at roughly the same times each day. For babies not yet on solids, milk feeds don’t need to be on a schedule – in fact it’s recommended that you should always feed responsively whether on bottle or boob. Milk schedules won’t help sleep, in fact they can make night-time sleep even worse if the baby isn’t getting enough calories during the day!
- It doesn’t matter where your baby sleeps – pram, crib, sling or in your arms – the important thing is that they are napping regularly at age-appropriate intervals.
- If you’re not getting out and about a lot at the moment, rough play and silly time with your kids is good for everyone’s mental and physical health. Exercise is really important for sleep but if you can’t bring yourself to do a full workout right now, wrestling a small person is just as good for getting your heartrate up and endorphins going.
- Extra cuddles, shared baths and skin-to-skin will help your baby feel calm and secure in these troubled times, and will be a delicious boost of oxytocin for knackered parents. Littlies can’t regulate their own emotions (that is a skill that we fully develop by about the age of 25!) so instead they process their emotions by co-regulating with their caregivers.
- Make some tweaks to where your baby sleeps – is their sleep space dark enough? Could consistent white noise help soothe them and block out background sounds? Don’t make the room too hot either, babies like to sleep in cooler spaces.
- If bedtime has become a bit crazy with a hyperactive little person, try some rough play to get rid of their energy, followed by a clear marker that wind-down time has started. This could be going to their bedroom where it’s calm and dimly lit. The end of bath-time might signify that calm time has started. You could even play soothing music. The key thing is to draw a line and make it clear that bedtime has begun. Stay calm and make this part of your day all about bonding and closeness. Activities like sitting together and reading a flap book or playing with a toy that is particularly tactile helps focus busy brains. Toys like stacking blocks or an activity like threading pipe cleaner through a colander can work wonders when they are combined with a cuddle.
And finally, some sleep tips for you:
- Switch off your phone after about 9pm. I know, I know, we all love a good scroll and it’s the only time of day you can use your phone without feeling guilty or being distracted. But that blue light is going to make sleep harder for you. So try cutting back and keeping your eyes phone-free for about an hour or ideally two before you go to sleep.
- Have a cut off point for news and social media. Boundaries can feel weird to implement but oh so good once they are in place.
- Make sure you’re getting enough iron, magnesium and vitamin D – supplements can help if cooking is a bit of a nightmare right now.
- Breathe. Unclench your jaw. Lower those shoulders. Keep being kind to yourself. Notice where you are holding that tension in your body and stretch it out.
- Rant. Talk. Record yourself a voice note if there isn’t anyone appropriate to chat to right now. Get it out of your head onto paper or WhatsApp or anywhere that isn’t your own overloaded brain.
- I’m not saying go teetotal if that’s not your vibe, but be mindful of whether that wine or gin in the evening is helping or hindering your overall mood. Could you cut back or have a few nights off? The difference to sleep after a week or two booze-free can be astounding!
- Keep a gratitude list on your phone. Even if that list is just ‘biscuits and Bridgerton’ that’s fine, appreciation for the big stuff can come later.
- All of the sleep tips for little people work for big people too – daylight, routine, exercise, cuddles, winding down, reading books – they are oldies but goodies!
I hope you found this post useful & that you enjoyed Hannah’s lockdown sleep tips!
YOU CAN FIND HANNAH ON;
INSTAGRAM : LITTLE NEST SLEEP
WEBSITE: LITTLE NEST
THE BLENDED MOTHER | GUEST POST
BY FAYE MACKAY (GUEST WRITER)
From Control Freak to Blended Mother. My first step mum thunderbolt hit me like a freight train. Those of you that are part of a blended family will have had it at some point. The moment that it hits you and all of a sudden, you realise what you’re signing up to. It could be anything that prompts it… your step daughter using your favourite lipstick to colour in your “white” handbag. Your stepson delightedly announcing that he’s just done “a massive poo” and please can you come and wipe his bottom. If they’re older, maybe just ongoing reminders that you aren’t their parent and “can’t tell them what to do” – it’s so rewarding!
There’s no gentle introduction to “stepping”. Becoming a parent knocks you for six, but becoming a step parent is a different world altogether.
BLENDED MOTHER
For me, it was a breakfast tantrum, and was particularly poignant because of the feeling of complete lack of control that accompanied it. A lifetime dedicated to unachievable perfectionism, compounded by a decade working in live events, resulted in routine and order being my comfort zones, and I clung to them like a koala to tree. When I first met Henry, he was three and I had basically no experience whatsoever with children. I was working blind, reading every article in existence on how to navigate the murky waters of stepping and praying that it wasn’t as blindingly obvious to everyone else as it was to me that I didn’t have a bloody clue what I was doing.
Mark was running late for work, and asked if I’d give Henry his breakfast that morning. It was the first time that we’d been left to do anything alone, without biological parent supervision. How hard could it be, right? I’d seen Mark give the little one meals a million times. “We’ve got this kid”, I thought and set about trying to figure out what to give him to eat. Golden rule number one – DO NOT let children look in the cupboards to decide what they want to have. It only ends in tears and ongoing explanations as to why quavers are not a suitable breakfast food. Quickly closing the cupboard door, I offered toast. “No!”, “Cereal?”, “No!”, “errr yoghurt?” They were really more rice puddings than yogurt, but at this point I’d have given him an entire box of pop tarts to stop the scene that was fast unravelling from collapsing around my ears. “NO!” Game over, tantrum ensued. “I WANT SOMETHING ROUND!!” he shouted between sobs and snot.
Something round? What the hell is going on??? Is this normal? How do I deal with this? There isn’t anything that’s sodding-well round! I thought, frantically rifling through the bread bin. I searched the archives of my brain for anything that I’d read that would come to my aid in neutralising the screaming little gremlin, but I came up blank. Nothing.
Then, in a Blue Peter moment I had it and ten minutes later, he was happily munching away on toast that had been cunningly cut into circles, while I collapsed into a cup of coffee wondering if I could do it. What if he and I don’t get along? What if I totally suck at being a step mum? What if he decides he hates me and runs away at nine years old to join the circus?!
Three years on, and the niggling voice of self-doubt has quietened down somewhat, making occasional reappearances to slap me around the face as I dare to relax into the day to day, and remind me that stepping presents an ongoing and ever-changing set of challenges. Don’t get too comfortable Faye!!! You have to dig deep and employ some solid resilience with this stuff.
Henry and I have had our ups and downs over the last few years for sure. I won’t lie, some weeks were just utter shit – I considered throwing the towel in more than once. But, what has gone along with the tough bits are some great times too. Our relationship has come a long way – we bake, run, read and watch films together these days rather than just exist alongside in the same space. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t the flipping Walton’s, we butt heads just like everyone else.
I’m sure that the teenage years will be interesting!! But, in the end I realised that Henry didn’t want a perfect step mum, who had all the answers and got everything right all of the time. He wanted me to spend time with him, to be interested in what he was doing and encourage him when he felt unsure. I learned to turn towards him when he was doing the frustrating stuff that all kids do, rather than away. To meet anger with a kind, but firm word and a hug and, most importantly, to lean on my partner when I started to struggle. He never expected me to be perfect either as it turned out, that all came from me.
We hope you enjoyed Faye’s guest post on being a blended mother and what it is really like to be a step parent. Are you a step parent?
YOU CAN FIND FAYE ON;
INSTAGRAM: THE BLENDED MOTHER
OUR LOCKDOWN WEDDING | GUEST POST
BY HANNAH SHORROCKS (GUEST WRITER)
LOCKDOWN WEDDING
So what restrictions did we have?
Did it feel like a Covid wedding?
Would I recommend changing your wedding plans if you’re not sure what to do?
YOU CAN FIND HANNAH ON;
INSTAGRAM: OUR 3 PEA POD
FIVE MINUTE HABITS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
So many people think you have to make HUGE change in your life for you to feel the benefits or like you have achieved something. Where as really, lots of small five minute habits will have just as big impact. If not more so. These habits will make your life that little bit easier, more manageable & benefit your overall life.
TIDY UP
A really easy one. Whether it is taking five minutes first thing in the morning to make your bed, take your empty glass from last nights drink downstairs and empty the dishwasher for example, or it can be setting a timer for five minutes and quickly decluttering things that don’t belong in a room. This will keep your space much tidier & prevent clutter from building up.
HAVE ONE AIM
I am a bugger for writing a list of things I need to do in a day, and there being 20 things on it. Which, with two young children & a partner out at work every day – it sometimes just isn’t doable. So giving yourself ONE task to do and once that is done, IF you can, write a different task down and get that done. You’ll feel so much better seeing one thing written down & crossed off, than a whole list with only a couple of things managed.
READ
My favourite thing to do. Taking just 10 or 15 minutes to sit and read a chapter of a book can really help you. It is the perfect distraction and it is relaxing for your mind. It keeps your mind engaged but not on 20 thousand things at once. As soon as the boys are in bed, that is my time to read. It’s the perfect thing to do before you go to sleep.
SPEAK TO A FRIEND
Whether it is a quick text or a good old face time catch up. Reach out to a friend & check in, they’ll appreciate it!
TAKE TIME TO DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE
Whether it is watching a favourite tv show, listening to a podcast or exercising!
PAY SOMEONE A COMPLIMENT
Who doesn’t love receiving a compliment? & it’s also nice knowing you gave a compliment that brightened somebody’s day.
APPRECIATE MORE
Especially at the minute I think it is so easy for us to get lost in the bad things that are occurring and how different life is so just take five minutes each day to appreciate what we DO have. I appreciate having my family, I appreciate the roof over my head, I appreciate that my partner has been able to work all through the pandemic (as scary as it has been). It’s the little things in life.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
I think a lot of us have this idea that if we put ourselves first, it makes us selfish, but it doesn’t. It’s okay to take time out of your day to do the thing YOU want to do, to take five minutes for yourself.
SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX
This is something I definitely need to implement more because I always feel so much better when I do. Delete your social media apps or put them all in one folder and move it off your front screen. Even if it’s just half a day. It is is so refreshing & does wonders for not only my mental health, but also my productivity.
NAME 3 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
Every day. 3 things, they can be physical features & personality traits.
EDUCATE YOURSELF
There is always time to educate yourself on certain topics. I think the past 12 months, more than ever, have taught us that we should be constantly learning about what is happening in the world. There is no time for ignorance.
We hope these five minute habit ideas help, let us know a habit you implement into your daily life.
80s kid | GUEST POST
BY KATIE (GUEST WRITER)
80s kid..
I’m 37, that’s right, I am a 80s kid. Hubba Bubba, scrunchies, slouch socks and cassettes…to name a few are my childhood memories. As I write I am already side tracked by the time it used to take to sit down and make a mixtape, and I had a vast collection! Some admittedly were gifted to my first boyfriend (major cringe). Teacher by trade, I hold my hand up, yes it’s true us guys are renowned for not being hi-tec. In my day they could never find play on the video recorder. But I digress, back to the mixtape…the hours spent pressing play and pause and now a tap on the screen of i-tunes (so my none teacher friends tell me) and boom a whole album, any album right there in an instant!!
It amazes me. But it doesn’t stop there…The tv’s on demand button, the next day delivery (I do the annual subscription), click and collect shopping, pay at pump petrol…I could go on and on. I don’t dispute that these things are amazing and have really ‘helped’ my family but it does make me wonder if the life of the millennial’s is improved?
For a while I have been having these nostalgic feelings. So I can’t help but compare to my childhood and the lack of technology. I remember being excited when channel 5 was launched, it’s true that there was in fact televised entertainment with sub 10 channels. Yes, we managed with four channels!! CITV was on for half an hour after school (I think it was longer, but I wasn’t a Blue Peter fan – don’t judge me please).
Like most (apologies if I offend) I have offered my phone to my toddler having a mental breakdown yelling ‘Peppa, Peppa’ in the trolley of a supermarket and although this is teaching the wrong message, I have done it. It’s immediate, it’s easy and they live in an ‘instant’ society where this, sadly, has become the norm. It does concern me that these little people will become impatient grown ups. How would they cope with four channels? Getting excited waiting for the new series of Blossom coming on channel 4 on Friday evenings? (No Daily Mail online spoilers and you don’t get to see it early just because you have a Netflix subscription)
Brookside was the best, and the most drama on Emmerdale was a sheep being left out in Jack Sugden’s field. I stopped watching Emmerdale a few years ago, it was probably replaced with ‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’. What’s with TV just being about watching people? It’s all reality and gossip, which isn’t really ideal for boosting our feel good factor. ‘Happy Days’ on the other hand, never failed in this department. Getting back to ‘Soap’ land 2021, tune into Emmerdale for a bit of murder and drug pushing, so I’ve heard. No more Jack Sugden (which google kindly offered 47 000 results on how the character was killed off) But now it’s all about TOWIE. Who is wearing what? Going out with you? And hasn’t she piled on the pounds?
I promise you that I am not sitting here in some granny slippers. I’m pretty normal. I appreciate all the advances that have made, hell I even have Instagram! (That my thumb seems to independently scroll through every half hour without engaging my brain) I just have some worries and I miss the simple life that I guess I was raised with.
I remember watching my Mum get ready for a date with my Dad (I might have even been making a mixtape) It’s so funny that as I write I even feel I need to add an emoji. Right there it would have been the wink, this even happens when I leave a handwritten note for someone. Anyone else? Back to the point…So they would have a date night.
Mum wouldn’t have scrolled through ASOS for hours the night before, no brows done, no gels nails (a slick of polish obviously, she was hot – still is!) I remember the smell of her makeup, hairspray and the bottle of Red Door perfume because I was in the moment. No need to order the mindful books. I just was because like most families then, we just were.
I envy how they must have gone for drinks and walked into a bar without thinking “Oooh there’s Cheryl from the school saw a selfie of her at the gym this morning” and “Dave who I used to work with four years ago is over there, seen his wife in a bikini in the Caribbean.” You get my point. I don’t have a personal Facebook account, I deleted it years ago after realising that I was wasting time I wouldn’t get back looking through people’s pictures, that then quickly turned into their auntie’s cousins wedding.
Shortly after my ‘mindful awakening’ I replaced it with Instagram (right now I’m having that need to type an emoji just so ‘you get me’) So what’s with this addiction? Obsession? Curiosity of other people? Imagine if we sat in our living rooms and we were only concerned about the people who were sat there with us. How come we need to know that Elaine from the gym just checked into Canteen and Cocktails or that Cheryl Cole got her abs back after Bear (hi 5 Chez).
My mum baked a lot, we would often come home to a crumble and custard. I’ve failed in the culinary side of parenting, although I am trying hard now (hand over monkey eye emoji needed) She had a couple of Bero books, I have about 100 cooking channels but obviously whilst I’m watching Love Island on demand, stalking random people (shut up we all do it!) putting Peppa Pig on the i-phone, downloading music, doing an online shop and googling how old Mary Berry is…I can’t fit in making desserts.
The pace is just so fast, anyone else want to press pause (on the Betamax) ?
I appreciate all the positive things that have been brought by the internet, gadgets, and so on (obviously as I am writing a blog on a popular page) but nonetheless it does make me worry about the habitual behaviours that I know I’ve developed. This need I see for having things instant, texts, deliveries, tv, etc. And it’s the unhealthy side of being a millennial that causes me concern…needless to say the thumb damage. I could waffle all day but I guess the bottom line is that the pace of life today seems so fast that I kind of want to press pause.
And being an 80s kid, I will leave you with the wise words of Ferris:
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”
Are you a 80s kid? Do you WISH you were an 80s kid? I bet you do…
YOU CAN FIND KATIE ON:
INSTAGRAM : THE_PROGRESS_PLACE
WEBSITE: THE PROGRESS PLACE
10 WAYS TO FOCUS ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH THIS YEAR
I think it is safe to say that everyone’s mental health has been affected this past year, I feel like we have been focusing a lot more on taking care of ourselves & unfortunately it doesn’t look like we are any closer to the current situation ending so we are sharing easy ways to focus on your mental health in 2021.
Ask For Help
I know right now we can’t ask for much outside help but mentally & emotionally we could all do with a hand every once in a while. There is no shame in admitting you are struggling – whether you need someone to listen to you rant about your other half or just word vomit your feelings.
Show Some Love
Reach out to someone you love, respect or appreciate and let them know! Not only will it make you feel better but they’ll love it to. You don’t know how much someone needs to be reminded that they are loved. Communication is so important – whether it’s a message on social media, a quick text or a video call.
Take A Break
This is something i’ve definitely done more this past few months. A break from my phone, from the kids.. it is so needed & vital for your mental health. It can really help to clear your mind.
Let It All Out
Your feelings or something that’s been really bothering you. Let it all out on paper. It doesn’t have to make sense. Just throw the words down on paper. You’ll feel so much better.
Get Outside
Whether it’s going for a 20 minute walk or taking five minutes to sit in your outdoor space. It is proven that being with nature can increase energy levels & boost mental wellbeing.
Focus Your Mind
Whether it is starting a journal, blogging, colouring or reading; focus your mind & energy on something you love.
Value Yourself
Treat yourself with kindness & respect. Shrug off the self doubt, list one thing you like about yourself every day. Whether it is a physical feature or a personality trait you have.
Set Realistic Goals
Write down professional or personal goals, aim high but also don’t over-schedule yourself. You’ll feel such a sense of achievement.
Break Out Your Routine
I think we can all agree that the past 12 months have been “same shit, different day”. As a parent I know how important routines can be but I also know how much my mental health benefits when we break up the monotony. Even if it’s just taking a walk somewhere different or trying something out of your comfort zone – a new meal to cook, a genre of tv show you don’t usually watch…
Look After Your Body
I’m not going to preach about drinking lots of water & eating a healthy diet – obviously that is great BUT what I mean is give your body what you love. Give your body what it wants. You want a Big Mac meal, go for it. You want to treat yourself to a FULL FAT can of Coke (my favourite), then do it! I think we’ve realised that life is too short & fleeting to deprive yourself and you body of the things it wants. Whether it is a veg packed stir fry or a 20 box of McChicken nuggets.
There you have it, 10 ways to focus on your mental health this year. How are you feeling? What will you implement into your daily schedule to look after your mind?
PRE-LOVED SHOPPING | GUEST POST
BY HELEN ELFER (GUEST WRITER)
Hello mamas! I’m Helen, the founder of Stork, an online marketplace for pre-loved kids and babies’ stuff. So happy to be guest posting on That Mama Club to tell you all a bit about how I got hooked on pre-loved shopping….
Last year, I was obsessed with finding a pair of yellow wellies for my daughter. They had to be completely plain, no handles, no logos, and an iconic, daffodil shade of yellow. Sound familiar? Of course they do. It’ll be no surprise to many mamas reading this that I was on the hunt for Peppa Pig’s boots. Peppa, or ‘Pe-PIG!’ as my daughter calls her, is, let’s say, an extremely influential figure in our household (Screen time limits vs Peppa addiction is a topic for another day). I was hopeful that my little girl would be so thrilled to have the same boots as her favourite TV character that there would be no fuss about wearing them on muddy puddle days.
I had no luck on the usual kids clothes sites or in high street shops, but after a lot of social media-ing and asking around, I found a second-hand pair another mum was selling that were 100% perfect. I was already thrilled when they arrived, and then I read the handwritten note that came with them.
‘These boots have jumped in puddles, splashed in the sea and walked along the Breton coast. Here’s hoping they have more adventures with their new little feet!’
And err, well there must have been something in my eye… sniff! Before that moment, I don’t think in a million years I would ever have described shopping as a beautiful experience. But to feel that connection with another proud mum and another adventurous toddler was really, really special.
I first got hooked on shopping pre-loved when I was pregnant with my first child. Classic maternity wear didn’t suit me at all, plus I didn’t fancy spending much on clothes that I’d only wear for a month or so. I got into the habit of picking up oversized shirts or loose dresses from thrift shops every so often, donating them back once I was too big for them. It was fun and easy.
But prepping for the arrival of our baby was another story altogether. Like most other parents, I felt overwhelming pressure to buy, buy, buy to make sure she had everything she needed. Everything had to be perfect, everything had to be the most expensive I could afford, everything had to be brand-new. Pram, crib, Moses basket, bouncy chair, baby clothes, car seat, breast pump, nappy bin, nightlight, bedroom furniture, activity mat… it was a small fortune.
I wish I knew then what I know now. Firstly, to ignore all those department stores ‘must-have’ lists and check with other parents what products are actually essential. So much of what’s on the market is overpriced and unnecessary, marketed to play on our fear of not being the perfect mother.
Secondly, after having my daughter, I found I actually preferred her to have clothes and toys that came packed with stories, love and memories, whether that was from friends passing on their children’s outgrown things, or buying pre-loved from other parents.
A soft blanket another baby had been wrapped in was just as cosy as a store-bought one. She would have sweet dreams (and sleepless nights) in a crib lent by an old friend, just the same as if we’d forked out for a new one. A second-hand car seat was just as safe, plus came with the trusted recommendation that it was comfortable and easy to use. All these items had been used, were in great condition, didn’t cost us a fortune and were pre-loaded with the love of other families.
From then on I was hooked – I loved chatting with other mums when I bought things, asking advice and sharing tips. I really appreciated the lower cost, especially after maternity leave pay dried up. It was important to me that my money supported other families, instead of just being poured back into the same old chain stores. And I started to feel great about wasting less, as I’d resell, donate or recycle as much as possible once we were finished with it.
Gradually I started to realise that with the amount of people out there doing the same, the pre-loved community was actually a pretty incredible movement. There was a whole network of (mostly) mamas on social media who were managing to earn extra cash, support each other and keep their kids dressed in gorgeous little outfits at the same time. In and around naptimes/mealtimes/home schooling/all the rest of it, they’d somehow managed to create this wonderful, sustainable, circular economy. I felt totally inspired!
Fast forward 14 months, I was pregnant again and determined to carry on shopping pre-loved. But I knew what I was looking for this time, and it was often hard to find exactly what I needed. I didn’t want to rush or order things I wasn’t completely happy with, nor did I want to go back to using faceless chain stores, or impersonal and complicated selling sites. So in a welcome burst of second trimester energy, I decided to launch Stork for parents in the same position as me. It’s an online marketplace just for kids’ and babies’ things, and it’s full of kind, thoughtful, supportive, eco-conscious, thrifty, positive, entrepreneurial, and generally wonderful sellers and buyers.
You don’t need a lot of stuff or a huge Instagram following to join up, and you don’t need to sell instantly because listings don’t disappear down a feed. Everything is categorised by size, colour, brand and condition, so it’s really easy for people to find what they want. Plus if you have any questions about the products, or general advice about what you need, you can always just ask someone! So if you fancy being part of a real community of Pre-lovelies, come and visit us, have a browse or set up your own store. Everyone’s welcome!
YOU CAN FIND HELEN ON;
INSTAGRAM: THE STORK SHOP
WEBSITE: THE STORK SHOP
40 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALS FOR 2021
I think it’s safe to say that 2021 hasn’t been off to the best start, and (possibly quite naively) the start I imagined. 2020 was such a crazy year for me personally as I had a second baby, we went into lockdown & my partner continued to work as a key worker so I found my life consumed by a new baby & a toddler, it took me a while to find my feet. However I am determined to make 2021 the year that I focus a little bit more time on me. I am not going to be making any huge changes but I thought I would share 40 personal developmental goals that are super simple & easy to incorporate into your day.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTAL GOALS
- Go for a walk outside every day – whether it’s 10 minutes or longer, just getting some fresh air can make the world of difference.
- Drink more water – I definitely need to do this!
- Try a new exercise – I have signed up to a zoom barre class! I used to do dance as a teenager and I can’t wait to get back into it.
- Eat a more balanced diet.
- Start a journal – I started a bullet journal at the beginning of 2021 and I love it!
- Limit your news intake, especially at the minute.
- Spend less time on social media.
- Practice mindfulness.
- Mute, block & remove people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.
- Try something new every month.
- Stop procrastinating, i’m a bugger for this.
- List 1 thing you love about yourself every day.
- Keep a planner.
- Learn to prioritise your tasks – this is great for feeling less overwhelmed.
- Stick to a daily to do list.
- Accept your flaws.
- Establish a skincare routine.
- Learn to say no.
- Read more books.
- Be more open-minded.
- Believe in yourself – have faith in yourself and your abilities.
- Be a better friend. It is so easy at the minute to get wrapped up in our tiny little lockdown bubbles. Reach out to a friend – send a text, arrange a facetime date…
- Ditch drama – this is something I definitely did more of in 2020. I was part of a group chat and it was such a negative, toxic place to be. I left and I am so glad because the drama is still very ongoing. I aint got time for that.
- Embrace the present. Be present in whatever you are doing RIGHT NOW.
- Quit a bad habit.
- Step out of your comfort zone.
- Do more of what you love.
- Learn to forgive yourself.
- Take lessons in something you want to learn.
- Take a course to further progress in a hobby you love.
- Find your tribe. The people who celebrate your highs & comfort you through the lows. Find your people.
- Set personal boundaries.
- Declutter your space – tidy space, tidy mind.
- Be comfortable with your own company.
- Treat yourself to something once a month.
- Go to bed earlier.
- Let go of the past.
- Become more resilient.
- Take 5 minutes to just sit & breathe.
- Create a healthy life/work balance.
What are your personal developmental goals? Will you try and incorporate any of these into your daily life?
RECOGNISING DECISION FATIGUE | GUEST POST
BY AMY (GUEST POST)
WHAT IS DECISION FATIGUE?
In decision making and psychology, decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual.
“Do you want this salmon?” asked my husband, from the fridge.
“Err…..”
I do not know if I want the salmon.
Our toddler is howling from his highchair because he’s not just not up for breakfast today. I have been splattered with yoghurt. I have been poked in the eye with a tiny fork. The cat is screeching and grappling with my ankles because she can see a small gap between the biscuits in her food bowl, and my phone just pinged. My own breakfast is cooling rapidly on the table, I cannot think whether or not I want salmon with it. My brain is out of storage.
I have reached my decision-making capacity and it’s not even 9am.
“Erm, I don’t know,” I say. The fridge slams. He is angry. He thinks I’m being funny with him.
I have long been aware that my decision-making capacity has a limit, and that my threshold is low. I find it stressful to have to make decisions that don’t matter to me. Which parking space, which coffee shop, which side of the hotel room bed, what kind of toothpaste, what we have for dinner. I am happy to hand over 90% of choices to others, as long as I retain influence for the things I do have a strong opinion on. I don’t much care what cars we have, I want absolute sign off on the carpets.
“What do you want from the shop?”
“Oh! Surprise me” (I don’t care).
Since producing another human, I have found the number of decisions I face in a day increased at least twofold. I must decide what two people will wear (after first deciding which weather forecast to believe), what two people will eat, where to go on our morning walk, how we will spend our time in the afternoon. Overarching all of this, I have to choose a parenting style, a set of boundaries, a school. I have to choose from a panoply of potential child-related purchases and decide whether or not to let him eat chips or have a rock for a pet.
We know that there is such a thing as ‘decision fatigue’, which is not only emotionally draining, but can lead to decreased productivity, lack of motivation, impulsive behaviour, and poor choices. Perhaps most worryingly, it even affects our ability to perceive risk and anticipate consequences.
For me, it has been necessary to find a strategy to limit the daily demand of decision making. The following five things seem minor but their cumulative impact is significant.
- I have a ‘uniform’ of two outfits for each weather eventuality. This has increased from one outfit, bought three times, with or without a cardigan, which I wore for my entire first year of motherhood. All my decision making regarding clothing is now focused on my child.
- My default is now ‘no makeup’, an inversion of my former childless days.
- We have a solid morning routine. The exact same thing happens for at least the first 4 hours of the day.
- Sometimes (but not often enough) I prep food to avoid having to decide what to have for lunch.
- I seize opportunities to allocate planning time – nearly all my best decisions happen whilst walking or in the bath.
I’ll end with a quote from one of my favourite ever leaders…
“You’ll see I wear only grey or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make” – Barack Obama. 44th President of the United States.
YOU CAN FIND AMY ON:
INSTAGRAM: RAISINGROTHLET
INSTAGRAM: THE.FAMILY.BURROW